When to let baby 'Cry it out'

Hi All!
I was wondering when any of you let your baby "cry it out" at night.  I've read or am reading both the Ferber and Weissbluth books, and Ferber says not to try it until 4-5 months, but Weissbluth seems to say that around 6-8 weeks is ok.  My pediatrician said we should do it now, but I feel badly if it's too soon, and of course we're getting all kinds of feedback from family on it.  My daughter will be 10 weeks on Thanksgiving, I don't want to try it too early, but don't want her to start waking up again in the middle of hte night or to destroy her great sleeping now.  She does well sleeping through the night, anywhere from 7-10 hours, but getting her to sleep in the first place can be as short as 1/2 hour or as long as 1 1/2-2 hours!  We have to rock her to sleep, and put her down asleep, but then she either wakes up as soon as we put her down, or may sleep for a few minutes and wake again.  We had a humidifier running in her room, which may make it too cold for her, so I'm going to stop using that, but any suggestions or more info from anyone would be greatly appreciated.  I started a little routine with her (bottle, change her, rock while reading a book or 2, then to bed while playing music).  With Thanksgiving coming up, and family coming to visit, I was wondering if I should even just wait until next week when the schedule will be more normal again.  Thanks in advance!!

[2songbirds]

I have a 3yr old, and a 14 month old, preggo with my 3rd. I've never let my kids 'cry it out', nor will I. They cry for a reason. I know my pediatrician recommended me trying this to eliminate the night time bottle feedings, but instead, I let the kids stop the feedings themselves when they're ready. My 14 month old still has 1-2 bottles at night. My 3 yr old had 1 bottle at night until she was 19 months old, then all of a sudden, she didn't 'need' them anymore. Follow your own instincts.

[Kel Kel1]

Good morning...i to ask myself the same question...my dd is alittle over 3 months and my mother has told me from the start to let her cry it out....i would not...now i can see she "knows" more and is developing a sense of what she can get away with and now sometimes i do let her cry.  Unfortantly if she starts to get louder i go in because she will get too worked up and puke!!!  It also can take me a min to put her down or 1 1/2 hours...so i just wanted to share my experiance because its really up to you and your comfort with letting her cry...you'll know when she is starting to use it as a spoiling tactic....best of luck.

[ni-ki]

I have a 6mth old son and i wont let him cry it out. I rock him to sleep until he falls asleep then hold him for about 15 mins after that then put him down. He doesn't sleep through the night yet and thats fine with me. I feel when he is ready he will do it. I am not one who believes your child should cry themselves to sleep (my opinion). If he is 15 when he finally sleeps through the night then so be it hahaha.

[happymom3]

I'm no doctor but I would wait until you have a normal routine to try again. Seems like 10 weeks is a bit young to let her cry it out. Again I'm not doctor but I would say let you be the judge of that, you already said you felt it was too young, that would be a good indicator for me:)

[2songbirds]

I have to also say that my 3 yr old still sleeps with me. My 14 month old has to be held/rocked by me when I'm home and he's sleepy. I don't mind for the most part. They're babies, we're supposed to nurture them. My 14 month old sleeps in his toddler bed, but every once and awhile, he crawls in bed with me, and it's ok.

I can't stand the thought of letting them cry it out. It would break my heart knowing they're crying for me, and I was ignoring them.

NOTE: I DID try this once when my 3 yr old was around 9 months old,and never again. The look on her face when I went in to get her, it made me cry. She stayed up for HOURS crying and screaming. Never again.

[jifnif]

my ds is 3mths old and our dr said its ok to let them cry it out for a bit but that you cannot hold or comfort them enough at this age.  We have never let him cry it out.  He has needed that extra comfort of knowing that we are here and I am ok w/ that.  He slept in bed w/ us until just a week ago and never slept more than 2hrs at a time.  Just 3 nights ago he is sleeping 7 1/2 hrs in his own crib!!!!  We figured when he was ready he would go.  Now if it went on up to 6mths I would think of it differently.  I say trust your instincts.  Its your baby and you have to feel comfortable w/ what you decide.  best wishes.

[DFB05]

Thanks everyone!  I appreciate your input,and any more anyone else has too!  I can't stand to see her little face all scrunched up like that, frustrated trying to get to sleep.  I'm going to try to slowly ease off the rocking etc, and maybe even put a heating pad to warm up her crib before she gets in.  She's still so little, I really don't mind rocking her, but just wish she wouldn't keep waking up when we put her down!!  It gets so frustrating for us since we just want to go to sleep too, but we just need to remind ourselves that she's just a little infant.  She sleeps through the night now, has anyone had the experience of having their baby sleep through the night (after being rocked etc to sleep), and then around 4 months start waking in the middle of the night again & not be able to get back to sleep b/c they expect to be rocked again?  (That's what the books say will happen around 4 months--since they;re more aware and remember you rocked them to sleep originally, they want to be rocked again.)  I hadn't ever heard of that problem before I had my baby.

[Tasha456]

"My pediatrician said we should do it now, but I feel badly if it's too soon"

That statement tells me that you do not need to let her cry it out.  Because if you listen to what someone else tells you when you dont feel it is right.. it will just put alot of emotional hardship on you.  

I feel that your issue isnt of letting her cry it out. .it is "how can i put her down without her waking up.   When you are rocking your child to go to bed wrap her in a blanket so when they fall asleep and you put them in the crib the transition wont be so drastic.  Because you are taking the child from your warm body and then placing her in a cold crib.  That would wake up and upset any child.  Keep doing what you are doing... it sounds like you have her on a good sleep schedule already.. which from what I've read is hard to do at such a young age.

[Lilu]

I did it with my DD when she was 4 months.

[Kel Kel1]

also sometimes she'll just cry a few moans and stop...but if she really starts i go in right away but i do not pick her up (unless i think she has to burp) but instead i put my hand on her stomach and rub her face...it really sooths her back to sleep

[Liza55]

Aaaah...so many moms have gone thru this. I too have a baby that needed me basically to fall asleep. We did the cosleeping thing until around 3months when we disturbed her, and tried the crib w/ good results. I would never let them cry it out. It is their only means of communication. They don't understand anything beyond "I want my mom, I cry". They certainly don't get "Well, it's night time, or my mom's had enuf today". If you don't respond, they'll stop crying sooner or later, but you then only taught them that you won't come. They're crying b/c they need or want you and that is the most natural thing in the world. A baby crying until it falls asleep is nothing to be proud of. I have been tempted so many times, but I can never do it. You'll feel what's right for you...

[bonbon197]

Dont ever let your baby cry it out, they do not understand. They feel scared and alone. Babies need lots of love and connection. Letting them cry it out is cruel. And teaches them that you are not there for them!! Please hold, love, and comfurt your baby, forever!!!

[JoyRenee]

Every child is different and should be treated different and not Textbook. What works for one child will not always work with another. You need to find out what is right for you. Personally, I don't think a small tiny infant should be left alone, in the dark, to "cry it out". You are their comforter and when you don't show up, it leaves them frightened. They don't understand.

There does come a time when a baby/child knows how to get what they want, they understand "nigh-night" and will cry just so you'll come and get them. There are times when my child fusses herself to sleep for just a few minutes (she's 10 months, not 10 weeks), but I never let her cry herself to sleep. I go in and get her and hold her a bit more, talk to her, comfort her, let her know she isn't alone and I'm right there!

My first daughter slept in bed with us for the first year of her little life, would wake up for her binky constantly and here she is at 2 1/2 years old, in a big girl bed (since she was 18 months old) sleeping through the night WITHOUT her binky.

You fear your child will never sleep through the night, on their own, but they will. There will not always be this way. I became really proud of my daughter AND myself when she began sleeping through the night and I MISS THOSE NIGHTS I'd rock her to sleep in my arms. She's not a baby anymore...

So to end this novel... ENJOY THIS TIME WHILE SHE IS AN INFANT! It will not last forever. Soon she'll be running around with Barbie dolls and pigtails and rolling her eyes at anything you deem funny. That is what I tell myself with my second daughter who is still a baby. I hold her a little bit longer every night and enjoy the closeness because this time is fleeting.

[mami1323]

I remember my son was 3 days old and my fiance believed in the crying out method.  He thought that you will spoil your baby if you pick them up.  We had him in his crib and he was so small for that big crib.  Needless to say, he's had two kids before ours so I thought he knew what he was talking about.  He let our son cry and cry for like 20 minutes.  I was hysterical crying hearing my son screaming at 3 days old.  I thought it was cruel.  I made him go get him and bring him into bed with us.  I explained to him that he was in my belly all tight and warm for 41 weeks and is now out in the open away from me, probably cold and unable to hear my heartbeat.  I refused to let him ever do that again.  It was horrible and I will never forget that night.  They need us for comfort and nurturing.  They cry to communicate and trust that we will respond to their needs.  It is a disgusting method and after reading to my fiance "The Baby Book" where it says that letting a baby cry out is a horrible method.  He now understands where I was coming from.  Also being a mother there is a chemical reaction in our brains that forces us to comfort our crying babies.  Now he is 10 weeks old and I can tell when he's just fussing because he is tired and all I do is leave him in his chair or swing with a bobo (pacifier) and a blankie and he falls out.  Other than that I don't let him cry long.

[jjerzeegirl]

I started my dd at about 5-6mths...
It was the best thing we ever did...for all of us!

I put her down awake and she's able to fall asleep on her own..she's now 18mths....so this has been working for a while.

It's VERY difficult but well worth it!

[anothermccoy]

I think she is too early to start now, but I do believe in the 'crying out' method.  Of course, your maternal instinct should basically be able to tell you if something is actually wrong or if they just habitually are crying.  We did this at about  7 month and it only took 3 nights.  However, when she would go stay at my husbands parents' she trained herself to wake up at 2:00am everytime because she knew (even at just 9months) they would get up and go in and bring her to their bed.  As your daughter grows you will be absolutely amazed at her ability to decipher things such as this.  Of course, we told my dh's parents that she is to be sleeping through the night and it took a lot longer for her to sleep through the night then because she was so used to them and they gave in too easily.  Consistency is really the key for all parts of parenthood.  * side note --- she also completely acted like she couldn't eat with a fork for a long time at their house when she had been eating with one for months, because she knew that they would feed her if she acted like she wouldn't!

[BearHitch]

We let DS start crying it out at around the start of 3 months, as I recall and it didn't take long until he was sleeping through the night.  I got him taking regular naps in his crib without my having to help / put him to sleep at 4 or 5 months I believe.  This worked fine for us.  I don't think you can comfort / love a baby too much but I do think that they need to learn to get into a bedtime routine and learn to fall asleep on their own.  I just finished reading a book called Becoming Babywise and I would recommend it.  I am planning on putting to work the things they recommend in it with this next baby, which is similar to what I did with DS.  Everyone does things differently and I don't know if there is a right or wrong answer.  I do know though that I would go nuts having to spend 1/2 - 1 1/2 hours each night putting DS to bed.  

[Angie_2boys]

There is a book called the no cry sleep solution. LOTS of great tips and they work! Good luck!

[ashley012609]

Hello.

I have a six month old son and my husband and I are having trouble getting him to fall/stay asleep. He use to go down for naps, night time with ease but now he seems to have gotten into the habbit of reaching for anything he can grab onto to keep himself awake.
We have tried everything (giving him our finger to hold on to, a blanket, a stuffed animal) but nothing seems to work.
Advice please!!!

[Victoria01]

I think you have to do what you are comfortable with. My son, who is 3, is a very good sleeper and has been since he was four months old. My pediatrician also recommended letting him cry it out, though I wasn't totally comfortable with it. I let him cry for 5-10 minutes then went to him but did not pick him up. I think most babies, those that are not hungry or need a diaper change but are just crying, want to know where mommy is. I would pat him on the back, sing to him, whatever came to mind, until he calmed down. It took about a week for him to begin sleeping through the night (8-10 hours at 4-5 months)  He has been sleeping through the night ever since. Good luck to you. :)

[snagglepuss1]

this thread was started november 2006! i would imagine the child is probably sleeping thru by now! for her parents sanity anyway! lol

[apple619]

It is difficult for those that have 2 or more kids. I have a 2.5 year old toddler going thru terrible twos and there is no way i can leave her for 30 mins alone while i put the baby to sleep ( 4 months) She didnt need us before now but now she is getting more aware of her environment and that makes it more difficult for her to fall asleep. Also she went thru a growth spurt and that is when i got her used to rocking because i didnt know how else to calm her down when she was fussy/hungry until my milk supply increased. Alot of us go wrong at this stage. Now we are doing cry it out and we will not stop until it works. I wish we did it with out first - she still needs us to fall asleep ( 2 hr ordeal!)

[HBmom1981]

First off, you are NOT a horrible parent if you let your child cry.  I know many well-adjusted, confident children whose parents let them cry a little when they were infants.  You must do what you are comfortable doing.  While I am not a fan of the cry it out method, I also am not a fan of waking up every 2 hours at night.  Our DS is 4 months old and we are trying to gradually wean him from his overnight feedings (since he is in the habit of nursing to sleep when at home).  He goes to bed around 7:30 and I will feed him once around midnight and then not again until 4/5am when we get up and ready for work.  If he wakes up more often than that, my husband goes in and puts his nuk in and comforts him, but does not pick him up.  Usually he falls asleep within 10 minutes, often immediately.  However, if I go in and try to comfort him back to sleep, he knows it is me and will not go back to sleep until I nurse him!   Up until about 3 1/2 - 4 months, he was sleeping 5-6 hours, but now he is becoming more aware of his surroundings and has a longer memory and is getting attached to things--nursing to sleep, his nuk, etc.  Some days at daycare he will refuse to drink from his bottle and go 9+ hours without eating ANYTHING!  They are smart. :-)  So again, do what works for you.  In order to be a better mother and wife, I need to get more sleep at night, which means letting my baby cry a little.  

[worrieddd612]

i am only pregnant and haven't raised a child yet, so i cannot speak from experience, although i am reading a great book called "the baby book: everything you need to know about your baby from birth to age two" by dr. william sears. he's a pediatrician and suggests that while this style of parenting is not wrong, attachment parenting generally produces healthier, happier babies...and they're in fact not spoiled but more independent later in life. he explains how he found this out based on his own studies, it really is pretty fascinating. just a suggestion, but like i said i have never raised a child so i am judging no one. :)

[Katree]

I personally don't feel there is anything wrong with letting your baby cry it out. From what I've read and from what my friends have told me, if you are CONSISTENT with it, it only takes a few days to a week to get your baby to sleep on his own. I can't believe some of you are still spending so much time putting your child to sleep and/or nursing in the middle of the night. How do you function in the day at your job? If you are willing to spend this time and don't mind giving up your own evening, then good for you. I just know myself I couldn't do it and holding my baby/comforting him for up to hours each night was just too much. People made me feel guilty when they were over and could hear him cry, but I honestly don't think he's going to be psychologically damaged from a few nights of crying.

[Lorna222]

My youngest of three daughters is three months today.  
So far people have been tossing the word 'crying' about very casually without clarifying what they mean.  
At risk of sounding like a smart *** I say -
CAUTION: THERE ARE MANY DIFFERENT TYPES OF CRY!
I didn't understand this concept with my first child for ages.  There is a huge difference between a baby that is fussing and making aha, aha, cough like noises with brief gaps of silence, a baby who is squirming and fussing to get wind and a baby who is beside himself with distress giving a full scale whaaaa, whaaaaa etc.  If you are breast feeding beware of the growth spurts.  
I used the static - white noise, on the radio with my first two children to help them fall asleep in their cots.

What I did with my youngest is from as soon as she was becoming alert after feeds I did used swaddling as a sleep trigger.  When I spotted a yawn or when she started getting wriggly I swaddled her up and held her but did not rock her until she got sleepy - but not asleep.  Then I put her down as she was about to doze off.  This generally worked as the weeks went by especially for the morning nap when I knew she was not hungry.  She would even go down swaddled and yawning and fall asleep herself (tumble dryer in background creating white noise helps too)    In the evenings she using ended up falling asleep while feeding.  However the growth spurt she just had threw things and there was a lot of feeding to sleep, put her down, wake straight up etc. Also she is much more alert now she need to avoid distractions.  Yesterday and today were much better though and I let her fuss a little - very minor noises of irritation, last night.  
This has been long winded and I don't have all the answers but to echo what others have said follow your baby's lead and needs instead of just leaving them to cry as a rule. There will be nights when they are genuinely sick and need to be held.  
Also have you tired holding but not rocking?

[Lorna222]

My youngest of three daughters is three months today.  
So far people have been tossing the word 'crying' about very casually without clarifying what they mean.  
At risk of sounding like a smart *** I say -
CAUTION: THERE ARE MANY DIFFERENT TYPES OF CRY!
I didn't understand this concept with my first child for ages.  There is a huge difference between a baby that is fussing and making aha, aha, cough like noises with brief gaps of silence, a baby who is squirming and fussing to get wind and a baby who is beside himself with distress giving a full scale whaaaa, whaaaaa etc.  If you are breast feeding beware of the growth spurts.  
I used the static - white noise, on the radio with my first two children to help them fall asleep in their cots.

What I did with my youngest is from as soon as she was becoming alert after feeds I did used swaddling as a sleep trigger.  When I spotted a yawn or when she started getting wriggly I swaddled her up and held her but did not rock her until she got sleepy - but not asleep.  Then I put her down as she was about to doze off.  This generally worked as the weeks went by especially for the morning nap when I knew she was not hungry.  She would even go down swaddled and yawning and fall asleep herself (tumble dryer in background creating white noise helps too)    In the evenings she using ended up falling asleep while feeding.  However the growth spurt she just had threw things and there was a lot of feeding to sleep, put her down, wake straight up etc. Also she is much more alert now she need to avoid distractions.  Yesterday and today were much better though and I let her fuss a little - very minor noises of irritation, last night.  
This has been long winded and I don't have all the answers but to echo what others have said follow your baby's lead and needs instead of just leaving them to cry as a rule. There will be nights when they are genuinely sick and need to be held.  
Also have you tired holding but not rocking?

[mami1323]

I got frustrated one night when my son was 1 and a half and I attempted to let him cry thinking he was old enough and guess what, the next morning he woke up and I picked him up and saw that he had thrown up on himself because he was so upset and actually slept in it.  How horrible I felt for ages after that incident and after that I refused to let him cry like that again.  I would rather get up all througout the night than to allow that to happen again.  We just adjusted things and made his bed into a sidecar and attached it to our bed.  He sleeps just fine now and when the time comes that he has to sleep in his own room, than we will make adjustments for that and deal with it when it comes.  They are only small for a short amount of time and we as parents must do what is best for them.

[Sweetafton]

There is so much talk about maternal instincts. I've just had my 3rd child and some of the things that I thought were right with my first child turned out not to be. You can't always trust those instincts. Instinct may tell a mother to pacify a baby who desperately needs to sleep. Babies cry for many different reasons: they may be hungry, they may have gas, they may need their diaper changed, they may need to play and be cuddled, and they may be tired. Teaching a child to learn how to sleep isn't easy. Babies do not have the ability to prioritize their needs over their wants. They may need to sleep while they want companionship. A baby will always cry for want they want despite what they need.

My first child did not want to nap during the day. She was still not in a solid napping routine at 9 months because I had allowed a lot of bad habits to take hold based on some very faulty instincts as a young, first-time mother. I would rock her to sleep and try to put her down without waking her, but this rarely worked. She would wake up crying, demanding me to come and hold her again. She became chronically tired and cranky because she did not rest during the day. Finally, I got a little tough with her. I let her cry. I made sure she knew that I was there and that I loved her, but I prioritized what she needed over what she wanted. That's what a parent has to do. I can't deny a shot to my child at the doctor's office because it may cause her to cry. Nor should I give my child companionship when she desperately needs to sleep. I must insist on what my child needs despite what they want.

I am very happy to say that after a few rocky weeks, my daughter learned to fall asleep on her own and she became the best napper. I never had an ounce of trouble with her naps or night time sleeping again. At nap time, I would hug and kiss my daughter, lay her down in her crib and and she would peacefully fall asleep all by herself. Those rocky weeks yielded over 3 years of great day and night time sleep for my daughter. With this knowledge in hand, I started much earlier with my son. I used the Baby Wise method and I have never had any rocky time with my second child. I've just had my third child and I plan to do the same with her. People always tell me that I am so lucky because of how wonderfully my children nap and sleep. I know that I was not lucky. I know that I taught my children to learn how to fall asleep on their own. This is an important skill for a child to learn and as a parent I must help them to learn it. Now my children are happy and well rested, and so am I!

[Mom_soldier]

I hate letting my daughter cry but if I don't I get no sleep and it drags me to my wits end. I'm a single parent so I don't have many choices if I want to keep my sanity.  Don't get me wrong I live my daughter to no end but being a soldier, student, and single parent takes a toll on you after a while.

[penswriter]

We started around 4-5 months with the ferber method. Our boys pedi said to start at 15 minute incraments and work up. I hated it but after a week they would be good through the night. Even now, they're 2, if they're upset they know to call for us but if they're just whiny they whine a little and right back to sleep.

[Lyndsayj]

My Son is 3 1/2 months and gets up every 30 minutes so tonight I let him cry it out yes it was hard but after 10 minutes he was asleep I tried other stuff to get him to sleep and it doesn't work for him .. My daughter is now almost 3 years old and she too cried it out round the same age and she has been sleeping thru the night since about 4 days after starting to let her cry it out... Everyone has their own opinion and ultimately mom does know what's best of her kids, I personally didn't want my kids to be toddlers and still not sleep though because a baby with sleeping problems turns into a toddler with sleeping problems and no offence to anyone else but look at the comments almost everyone that didn't let there baby cry it out have kids
or toddlers that still don't sleep through the night which mayl ultimatly effect your kids later on

[kawelch26]

I am having the same questions - my daughter is 5-months old - she has actually slept through the night once, so I wonder, "Is it okay to let her cry it out now?"  There is such conflicting research and evidence - most experts say that around 4-5 months you can let them cry it out.  But I read above how one women listens to those maternal instincts, and, I agree.  If you FEEL HORRID letting your baby cry, then maybe crying it out isn't right for you?  If you FEEL SO TIRED YOU'RE ABOUT TO HAVE A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN, maybe crying it out is perfect for you :)  You have to think, "Am I good to my family with the way things are going?  Or am I a total mess because of this situation?"  I would have to agree with Sweetafton, your maternal instincts are the best guide for what to do with your growing baby at night time.  I can't take it when my baby is crying, I always pop out of bed, (grumbling), and nurse her back to sleep.  But I have a dear friend who let her baby cry it out from 3 months old, and both of our children are healthy and wonderful.  

[prounmama1]

My baby is 4 weeks old and for some reasons, she sleeps during the day and she is wide awake at around 2 am until 5 or 6 am and during that time it is hard for me because she will not go back to sleep and I really need my sleep. But to let her cry it out breaks my heart, because sometimes if she is feeling OK and does not need to be burped or anything she would fall asleep on her own. Other times she would not stay on her own and when I pick her up and pat her back she would burp, which means that she was crying because something was bothering her. I don't believe that babies that early are tricking us, I just think that they cry when they need us, and sometimes we are their only comfort. I always try to create a safe and nurturing environment for my daughter like music etc... Follow your heart on this matter...

[Steptacular99]

My little boy is just 4 months and has been rocked to sleep and was sleeping thru up until a few nights ago. Now the last couple of nights he's woke in the night and needed rocking off again. He keeps waking when I put him down too and it's getting a real nightmare! I think I now am goin to have to start letting him cry a little :(

[Mochissmo]

You can let a tired baby cry it out.  You are not teaching a baby that mom and dad won't be there for them.  Babies are far more resilient than many of you give them credit for.  Its ok for a tired,cranky baby to cry it out.  Keep responding to their every wimper and you'll have a wuss for a kid.

[ljbrodeur]

I am a mother to a 3 1/2 month old baby girl. She has been an extremely fussy/colicky baby since birth. I've noticed that in the past month or so, her fussiness seems more due to lack of sleep than anything else. She sleeps alright at night (in bed by 7:30, feeding at midnight and then at 5am) The problem comes during the day. I can see that her eyes are red and tired looking, so I will swaddle her up & try to put her down for a nap. She will scream bloody murder for about 10 minutes before falling to sleep in my arms. When I transition her into her crib, she will sleep for about 20 minutes & then wake up screaming again. She is unable to get herself back to sleep. I think she needs to learn how to put herself back to sleep without my assistance, for her own benefit. I'm going to try the cry it out method and see how it goes.

[WNCBran]

I know this is an old post, but I did want to comment anyway.  10 weeks, in my opinion, is way too young to cry it out.  Babies cry for a reason, and they need to be held, soothed, rocked as often as needed.  I still rock my 12 month old to sleep, and it is more time consuming, but the time when he is little is so short, and I want him to cuddle as long as he needs to.  I have three boys-the two older boy,s ages 8 and 6, are both well adjusted, sleep through the night, in their own beds.  Hold them as much as you can while they are little, they need their mommies and daddies!  10 weeks is so tiny :)

[btothec]

Yes, this is an old post but I searched for a simple similar question and found this post as well.  After reading through the first few posts and feeling terrible for letting my 3.5 month old cry for a whole seven minutes before she fell asleep, I thought I should at least look at a reputable website with sound medical advise to offer as opposed to getting even more peoples opinion on a surprisingly touchy subject. Here is what the American Pediatric Association had to say about the issue:

Babies do not have regular sleep cycles until about 6 months of age. While newborns sleep about 16 to 17 hours per day, they may only sleep 1 or 2 hours at a time. As babies get older, they need less sleep. However, different babies have different sleep needs. It is normal for a 6-month-old to wake up during the night but go back to sleep after a few minutes.

Here are some suggestions that may help your baby (and you) sleep better at night.

Keep your baby calm and quiet when you feed or change her during the night. Try not to stimulate or wake her too much.
Make daytime playtime. Talking and playing with your baby during the day will help lengthen her awake times. This will help her sleep for longer periods during the night.
Put your baby to bed when drowsy but still awake. This will help your baby learn to fall asleep on her own in her own bed. Holding or rocking her until she is completely asleep may make it hard for her to go back to sleep if she wakes up during the night.
Wait a few minutes before responding to your child’s fussing. See if she can fall back to sleep on her own. If she continues to cry, check on her, but don’t turn on the light, play with her, or pick her up. If she gets frantic or is unable to settle herself, consider what else might be bothering her. She may be hungry, wet or soiled, feverish, or otherwise not feeling well

[Luvworks]

Never, never ever,,!! please don't get your panties in a wade, or take advice from meet the Folkers..No self soothng, wrong wrong wrong.I swear its so wrong to do,,,,,How hard is it  to.....wake up run down the hall. and pick your baby up.or bring him or her into bed to nurse,See my son who has autism , never associated bed with bad as I NEVER  EVER left him crying. Not once ..not Once in his life, I still  don't and he is almost 30,lol, he askes for help we come running, thusly he only askes for help when he really needs it. Super easy..My son is so balanced dispit his developmental disabilities,, he is confidant, loving, the first one to shake a hand or help an elderly mom or pop across the street, he is Such a great young man, I also train horses, some abused and even disabled,I rehabilitate , them and dogs, It works if you work it. And follow through..But my birth babies are so calm and well behaved as in their informative years they have yet to have a bad experience with humans,,but don't get me wrong they are prepared , they just have not yet met the Devil you speek of, ,,All alone ,,,nobody hears them..So so scarey..so little. And nobody there to answer your cry... So freekin sad..never ever let them "CRY IT OUT" the less they cry the Less they cry, success us gauged  on results,I have proof. I know you are still raising your baby, from a mother ,Grammy, auntie of many, your main job or concern is raising a balanced person,, I pray your family is safe and sound,all of my best, Luvworks..

[Luvworks]

No you are right,,you're not a horrible parent if you let your baby,Cry it out,soaking his or her face with wet tears heart pounding, leaving them all alone, your awake he or she is awake,,No really you are right. Just let them suffer,, they must do and learn every thing you do ,but 1000 times faster . Noooo your not a terrible parent, a baby that just enters the world is supposed to be so smart , not to bother mommy or daddy's sleep. Did you not figure out , You loose certain privates as a parent,, or even just as a person when YOU bring a child into  the world,..? They are supposed to be aware,and so in tune with your need for beauty sleep that you should just leave them in the dark,,? in a room alone.Just the thought of it *****,,.My appendix burst , if my mom did not come on in and save me! Who knows,you never leave a child to self sooth,no Folker advice, if your baby cries pick them up. Tae car if them..geed or nurse them,,rick them till dawn. You can catch a wink here and there, cAyour kids dont owe you anything, ever,,never leave them alone untill they tell you it's time, you are not entitled to ONE good nights sleep once you are a PARENT... that is why everyone should not be a parent, I find sleep when I can, my kiddOs come first, I don't care what ever  it takes Never leave your kids alone to "Folker"self sooooouuutthh.wrong!  not good honey. Very bad

[Luvworks]

Oh honey bunny just want to hug you! You are so right. There is this little body, that for so long has been connected to yours. .......I never let any of mine cry alone,and never used the bed or bed room as punishment, my son is autistic, I made his room his sleeping time a reward, a safe super hero place, he loved it, he could not wait to go to bed,,8:45 pm story . Toys away lights out..sleepy happy time.. but if he had a night terror, or bad dream I was right there, and he has always had his own room , but we brought him in our room or I took him to the safe bed,,in a bed I set up in his nursery ,till he was calm. We looked at books. We rocked, he was able to be free,play with quiet toys, stuffies, he loved it. And I would stay in the bed till he was fast asleep .. I raised a very loving honest, secure, funny, endearing,amazing young adult, he is almost 30 now, he is still so loving smart, secure, You are very correct with your blog post .thank you for reading mine,good parenting..