I am just curious who you had in the delivery room with you or who you plan to if it's your first. I only want my DH and the doctors in there. I watch "A Baby Story" everyday and some women have their moms, their brothers, their sisters, their other children in there and I just don't get that. I need my privacy!! Especially when my legs are spread open!! Do I sound immature????
I was planning on having just my dh in there with me...but I was 3 weeks early and on my way back from the beach...my mom i guess had 'motherly instincts' and wanted to drive back up with me to meet my dh for Lamaze class. ( never knew i was in labor while driving on the NJ Parkway)
My mom was a HUGE help..as we didn't bring our hospital bag with us...i thought it was false labor, BUT we had our dd that night. My mom stayed in the room with me while my dh went back to our place to get my bag.
She stayed with us for support until it was time to push....then she went out in the waiting room with my dad.
I LOVED having the 2 of them there..and my dh was appreciative as well.
On the other hand.,..my brother and SIL didn't even want anyone in the waiting room until the end...
So it's a personal preference.....
It's your call, you can exclude and invite whomever you want. You're going to be working hard. If ever in your life you have the complete right to think of your needs only, this is the time. I've heard of labor & delivery nurses having to throw pushy grandmas out of the room who were distressing their daughters. You don't need this.
With our first I ONLY wanted my dh in there with me and my mom. I pushed for 3 and a half hours and by then I could care less who came in! My mom sat quietly in the corner by my head the whole time. I ended up having a c-section so then only my dh was there. Let your doctor know who you want in and they can be the "bad guy" and tell everyone else to keep out if you feel weird about it.
i had my husband and mom there. i am glad i allowed my mom to stay for the birth because even though she didn't look "down there" she still said it was the most amazing experiance of her life and a lot better than being the one doing it. i truely think it blessed her to be a part of it and i wouldn't want to take that away from her.
My post came up right after yours, I hadn't seen yours yet, please don't think I was implying that no mother is helpful during labor! I was just remembering a poster a while back who was in a really awkward position with her mother-in-law who wanted to be there and the woman having the baby didn't want her there. If your mom is a help, by all means, she should be there! And, ExpectingaRedhead, a lot of my family came by after I was admitted and before I went through transition ... we sat and talked and it was nice. They would wait politely if I had a contraction, (LOL).
Actually in the room with me for all three, I had my husband and my adopted mom. My in-laws were right outside the door for my first and second, but came up later for my third.
With my first and second I was literally on my last push before having to have c-section, they were very helpful and understanding and were going to allow both my mom and my dh there with me (two different hospitals in two different cities, both made the same offer)
And they are usually all too happy to get rid of the distractions for you if you cannot muster the brass ones to do it yourself. I can just imagine Peek strong-arming some crazed Grandmother out of the room ; )
I had my dh only. My mil and mother wanted to be in the room and I had told them no. My mom was understanding and didn't argue. My mil still said she was coming in. Luckily the baby came 5 days early and she was out of town.
With my son we had an emergency c-section.
My husband obviously I planned on him, however, a month before I was due, I asked my aunt to be there since she was the head of a nursing unit for years and now is a legal nurse consultant. I wanted her to be my advocate in case something did not go well and also she has a wonderful way with people in difficult situations.. I would not have gone through labor without her because I had to make a decision last minute and she helped me make the right one (Vacuum vs C ECTION-- I went for the C-Section)
No worries....I don't take offense at all.....my mom is like my best friend. she knows me better then i know myself at times....
My MIL and I are close as well....if my dh wanted her in there...i'd have her...
I'm a very open person...lol.....
I too watch babystory and find it amazing girls want the whole damn family to watch. It was just my bf and my mother...and i only let my mom in because it was her first grandchild so i thought it would be special...well it was my bfs mothers first grandchild too..but i dont like her so thats a diff story.
I had both my dh and mom in the room with me, because my husband can't handle hospitals and gets really flushed, so i needed some good support to help me through all of it. don't get me wrong my husband stayed for both deliveries but both time the dr and nurses were babying him more than me lol. I will most likely do the same with this pregnancy. Good luck to all who will be giving birth soon.
LOL.. I sounded just like you.. I only wanted my boyfriend there. My mother INSISTED on being there and I couldnt take that away from her. But TRUST me, by the time your in labor, you wont care who is in the room with you looking. My dad could have been there and I wouldnt have cared. It ended up being my mom, bf, and his mother. It was a special moment and I'm glad I got over my fear and just said F.... it :)
I'm due in 3weeks. I'm having my DH and my mother. My mom has seen her oldest grandchild's birth, so she's "been there, done that", but she's my mom and I want her there with me. This will be MIL's first grandchild, but I don't want her there. Once we're not that close and two, she has a knack of turning things into how they affect her. I could just see me laying there in pain and she's telling me how she was in labor or something to that effect. My DH is in complete agreement that it's just me, him and my mom. We even agreed that if my mom cannot be there then it's just me and him. He knows I'm the one who will be "exposed" and it's up to me.
I had planned on both my mom and my DH being in the delivery room with me because DH has trouble seeing me in pain and responding in a way that isn't irritating (he is overly caring and I wanted someone strong who would tell me to push and that I could do it, etc). I actually wanted my mom there for emotional support for DH. During labor I was so glad she was there becuase they would take turns getting food and it was a great emotional support having him encourage me and her as well. However, I had to have a c-section and they would only let one person in the room, so I only had DH... not that I could see or talk to him, as they put him in a chair in the corner and I was surrounded by med students :S
DH was the only person I wanted to be in there. Didn't have anyone else b/c I went into labor at 9 pm and had DD at 7:50 am...I loved having only the two of us in the room (well, other than the nurses and the dr). I understand your concern about having your legs wide open. I think I'd be more worried if people can see more than they should rather than concentrating on pushing. Good luck with whatever decision you make :)
Great stories and answers. I want some family members at the hospital but I think it's just going to be DH and I during the actual birth. My mom lives in the area and I know she won't mind if I don't want her in there during the birth. My MIL lives several states away so she's not even an issue. :)
Just my DH and I were in the room. And that is the way I wanted it. My aunt wanted to come in and I said yes, but then I called her and she convinced me it was false labor. My mom insisted on being there, but I didn't call her in time because my aunt had convinced me it was false labor.
My sister and bf were in the room. my sister took pics...the last thing on my mind was my "privacy" at that point of time. My sister is an OB nurse, so she was a big help. This time around, its going to be my bf and my best friend. She wants a baby so bad and is having a hard time getting one,so i am going to let her experiance it with me.
DD#1 it was my Mom, my Boyfriend, my Dad....
DD#2 it was my Mom, my husband....
DD#3 it was my Mom, my husband, my Dad, my Sister-in-Law during my labor... only DH for the Emergency C-Section of course... and I wanted more in the delivery room to celebrate the miracle Nadezdha was for us.
I had only my dh and our doula we hired. I know my mom was dying to be in the room, but I also needed my privacy to be respected. It would have been way too stressful for me to have any of my family in the room. They were all waiting in the waiting room, and even had to wait 45-minutes to an hour after I gave birth, so dh and I could enjoy the first moments of our dd's life. I feel that was so important. I plan to have it the same way this time around as well, minus the doula.(no longer practicing, bummer:(
Did any of you ever see "A Baby Story" where the woman was having a water birth and had her 18 year old son in the tub with her? For some reason, that seems weird to me but then again I think she was a single mom and needed support.
I had my husband and my mom there the whole time. My sister was in there also till i dialated to 10 then she had to leave... I wouldnt havce wanted her in there for that part anyway. But my mom was so supportive and very helpful as was my husband. They are the only two I woud have dreamed having present.
My hubby and my best friend are the ones that have taken all the classes with me and gone on the hospital tour with me. With twins, they recommended 2 just for the extra support. Since I am having a c-section, I can not have anymore than that as the room will already be so crowded. Plus, my bestfriend will keep my hubby in line and keep his from seeing "shiny objects" and drifting away!! hee hee
I had my dh with my first, and I was SURE that was ALL I Wanted with me, but then after, I thought it would be great if my mom could witness the birth of her grandchild, for the second two she was with my dh and I and it was amazing! She promised to not say a word, which she didn't. I warned her that I would have her removed if she said anything along the lines of "shhhhhh...." LOL LOL
I was SCREAMING with my first, but the 2nd two, were alot easier!
It is entirely your decision though! Best of luck to you!
I had my mom and my dh. I wasn't sure that I'd want my mom to stay, but once I was to 10 I knew I didn't want her to leave! They were both amazing! And honestly, my mom and I are close to begin with but having her there for the birth of my son brought us 100 times closer. She will be more than welcome to be present at the brith of my next one!
I figured I wouldn't want anyone present when my legs were all spread apart on the table like you said...but seriously by that point all modesty pretty much goes out the door! lol
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