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Who's the father?
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Who's the father?

Well, here's my story:

I'd been dating my high school sweetheart for 3 years.  We were always very safe, but towards the end of our relationship, we progressively got less and less safe (but still 'safe' as far as I could tell, just not as thorough to be 100% sure).  I don't recall when the last time we had intercourse was, but we took a break starting on [b]July 10th.[/b]  We *probably* had sex at least once during the week prior to that, maybe more, but I frankly don't remember, it's a blur.

Anyway, we'd broken up multiple times before, but we'd always get back together.  We were immature like that, we were young.  But this time around, little did I know, she had sex with somebody else, somewhere between [b]July 20th and July 24th.[/b]

She and I had sex one last time on [b]July 26th or 27th[/b], and they had sex a couple more times after that before we found out she was pregnant.

She supposedly took a Morning After Pill after each one of these times, but was not on any actual birth control, and no condoms were used any of these times.  (Pretty irresponsible.)  She also does not track her period, so we can't go off of that.

Now that I've given those dates, let me say that the best information we have from the doctor comes somewhere between 20 and 24 weeks into her pregnancy.  (We had a gigantic falling out and didn't speak with each other for over 3 months after she told me she was pregnant and it might not be mine.)

The doctor did the ultrasound on [b]December 20th[/b], and gave her a due date of [b]April 6th.[/b]  Another doctor later on gave her a due date of [b]April 8th[/b].  I don't recall if she said she was 20 weeks along or 24 weeks along (I thought he said 20, she thought he said 24, and her memory tends to be better than mine), but... it was probably 24, since I asked him when the most likely date of conception would be based on this ultrasound, and he said 'somewhere in the middle of July, give or take 10 days'.

The last information I can provide is just math, separating anything medical from it.  If we go to the due date and back up 39 and 40 weeks (the average length of a pregnancy), using April 7th as the due date (the average of the 2 due dates we were given, April 6th and 8th), we get July 8th and 1st, respectively.  But I've heard this can vary by multiple weeks, and I'm just terrified that I did the math wrong or that I overlooked something, and the medical professionals we've talked to in real life seemed too busy or apathetic to involve themselves in our problem.

Based on this information, whose kid is it?  Is it a small enough margin to tell?  What likelihood is it mine?  :/
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15 Comments Post a Comment
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13167_tn?1327197724
Your post is an absolute blur,  niceguy.

What you need to figure out is,  what is her due date.   It looks like between April 6 and April 8.

NOW.  Go online and look up "conception calculators",  and put in the due date of April 6 - 8,  and determine whether you or some other guy had sex with her closer to that conception date.  

I'm sorry,  I can't possibly get through all the extraneous information in your post.
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121828_tn?1333468091
Here's the thing. #1 you don't know her period schedule for July.  If she was having sex with someone else the 20th-24th, you the 26th or 27th...It's too close to tell.  Had she had an early, like 6 week u/s you may could have pin pointed it a bit closer. Usually the earliest u/s are the most accurate. I'm sorry, but the margin is just too close to even guesstimate.  Who's to say she's telling the truth anyways? She could have been having sex with you the same days as him. Too close to call. Only a paternity test is going to tell you 100%. I know that's not what you wanted to hear, but it's unfortunately the reality.
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Avatar_m_tn
Sorry, let me pull out all the extra information and just leave the bones:

Sometime before July 10th, I had sex with the girl.

Between July 10th and July 20th, she was abstinent.

On July 22nd (give or take a day), she had sex with someone else.

On July 27th (give or take a day), she had sex with me.

A week later and thereafter that she had sex with him.

The due date is April 7th.

The conception calendars and the U/S doctor put her at vaguely at 'halfway through July', though 40 weeks back from the due date is July 5th.

My question is, how likely is it that she's pregnant from before that time she had sex with him on July 22nd?  Or is it more likely that this occurred later in the month?  The question is not if it's his or mine from the times on the 22nd and 27th respectively, rather between somewhere around the 2nd-10th compared to the 22nd.
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Avatar_m_tn
Sorry, in retrospect I realized that that wasn't clear... and that there are no edit buttons. :/
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1276121_tn?1356763827
Since i am no medical doctor i can not say for sure but assuming her periods are normal and come every 28 days she would have conceived the baby between july 20-24. Since there was not an early ultrasound done and your not sure of the dates the only way to know for sure is to have a dna test done. I wish you luck and hope you get the answer your wanting.
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1420648_tn?1295813433
I'm due April 9th n conceived July 17th so she would be somewhere the same as me so I'd say sleeping with the other guy would have given her a later due date but I'm not saying that's A fact but the only true way to know is a DNA test
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Avatar_m_tn
Here's a question--suppose her periods are normal and come every 28 days--what would make this make it more likely to be July 20-24 since we do not know when she typically gets her period?  The only information we have is her due date and a vague estimation of 'somewhere in the middle of July, give or take 10 days', which basically means just 'sometime in July'.  This is not meant to be critical, I just want to understand what evidence we haven't yet figured out that would point to ovulation being during the week of the 20-24th.  :/
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Avatar_m_tn
/nods, that's definitely plausible... what the doctor was saying too, though, is that sperm can stay in your body for 8-10 days after you have sex, which could make sometime like July 15th a plausible date of conception for sex prior to July 10th... but this is another detail I'm unsure about.  You're right though, the only real way to know is to get the paternity test... but I do appreciate the insight.  Thanks.
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1276121_tn?1356763827
Im going to try and explain this the best i can since a woman's body/cycle can be confusing. You said the due date given is april 7 but when you count back 40 weeks the date is july 8th which should of been the first day of her last period. This is assuming she has a 28 day cycle again. In which she should ovulate on cycle day 14 which would of been july 22nd but ovulation can occur a couple days early or late. which is why i said the 20th-24th of july as far as when the baby was conceived. See in pregnancy when a baby is actually physically conceived the woman is already considered 2 weeks pregnant. This is because the first day of pregnancy is the same as the first day of your last period. I really hope this helps you understand but the only way to get a for sure answer is through a dna test.
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Avatar_m_tn
Huh... That makes sense, but now I'm confused about a couple of the other tools out there to determine dates of conception.

I went to http://www.babymed.com/conception-calculator earlier today (prior to seeing the response), and entered in the due date and hit 'enter'.  It gave the answer, "Your estimated conception date was between Thursday, July 8, 2010 and Thursday, July 15, 2010."  If this is all estimated based on simple math involving the conception date and whatnot, then shouldn't this come up with the 20th-24th like you did?  I'm trying to understand the disparity, and if this online tool is reliable or not.  I'm sorry for questioning you so much, I'm just trying to be entirely sure I understand everything I can.

One last new bit of information:  I took a peek on the ultrasound results earlier today and it turns out the ultrasound has a 'GA', 'Gestation Age' of 24 weeks and 5 days as of the date of the ultrasound (December 20th), which would be June 30th.  How reliable is this information, since it made me really think it was mine, but now I'm not sure...?  :/
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1276121_tn?1356763827
Like i said before im not a doctor and cant tell you for sure that the baby is or is not yours. I just used the same methods my doctor does to come up with the dates. If i was you i would go by the ultrasound GA count back the 24w5d and then add 14 days to that. That final answer would be about the date she conceived the baby. In the end i would get the dna test just to be sure and so you no longer question the child being yours.
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Avatar_m_tn
Thanks for bearing with me for all that, I really do appreciate the input.  We'll definitely get a paternity test, but as we're finding out, our lives are going to be drastically different based on the results of the test, and we're doing everything in our power (aside from voodoo charms or horoscopes) to prepare for the more likely eventuality.

:)
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1276121_tn?1356763827
Your very welcome and if you have any other questions feel free to leave a note. I hope ive helped and wish you the best.
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Avatar_f_tn
Your answer is get a paternity test.
Even when a woman DOES know her cycle, it is still difficult to pinpoint conception. 40 weeks is vague as it is. It's a "one size fits all" deal, and those never fit all. It's normal for women to deliver late or early.
Since the girl doesn't know her cycle, it is pretty impossible to say when she became pregnant. Get the paternity test.
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Avatar_m_tn
Thanks for the input.  At this point, that's what we're going to end up going off of once all is said and done.  We were mostly just trying to figure out what to do in the meantime (and since the result will cause all our lives to be drastically different, we're trying to do our best to predict), but that's definitely what we're going to end up doing in the end.  Thanks again! :)
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