Watching Discovery Health channel and a woman is having baby #5 and all of her other children are in the birthing room. What is all of your feelings on this? Have u had your other children present for the birth of the new baby? I think it is a beautiful moment to share. But then again I would hate to freak out Quinn by having her see Mommy in pain. I think she is too young to be a part of it.
No on young kids, they do not need to see that or hear that. I can only imagine how traumatic it would be for them. I was in agony with CJ and very vocal during the final pushes where I broke my tailbone. My boys have been scarred for life and hated that baby had they been there.
Now, I think if you have teenagers or nearly teenagers, maybe seeing that would give them pause and act as a good form of BC.
You hit it right on the nose---its the age and maturity of the child/children that should decide this. All my children watched Jameson be born. Their ages were; daughters--17, 16, 11 and 10. Sons--ages 14 and 8.
My daughters had no issues at all and loved it. They understood well what would happen because we talked about it a lot.
My older son chose to be in the room a little ways off, and watched the birth but not as physically close to me as the girls.
My 8 year old was a little distressed about it. It scared him to see me in pain.I had an epidural but it didn't work very well and I did feel a lot of pain. He would come over and hug me a lot. It was so sweet.:) He also chose to watch quite a bit further off.
All in all it was a BEAUTIFUL experience. When Jameson came out, our whole family was laughing and crying and saying "I love him!" "he's so cute!" It was really special.
My midwife said, that through all her many years of doing this, this was the neatest, most special, spiritual experience she had witnessed with any family.
She said she felt priveleged to be a part of what she saw, like a little bit of heaven on earth as we all cried and laughed and fell in love with our new family member.
I'm crying right now just thinking about it again! :)
Are you planning on an epidural? If you think you will be in control and not doing anything that would scare Quinn, I think she could probably be in the room. For sure she would need a person to be with her constantly--one one one---to explain and comfort and make sure she was okay.
Is she mature for her age? Is she interested in babies, pregnancy? Do you think she would understand if you checked out simple books and explained to her about birth?
You could kind of follow her lead--if she seems interested in it and expresses a desire to watch it, thats a good sign she will be okay with it.
Personally I think it is absolutely a beautiful thing for siblings to be there. But of course everyone has their own opinion. :)
When my son was born, my mom and my nine-year-old sister (at the time) were in the room. My sister wanted to be there and I had no problem with it, but she didn't actually want to watch the birth, which she didn't.
It didn't traumatize her at all, BUT, since she was quite aware of how and where he came out during birth, she refused to kiss him until he was a few days old and had had a bath, lol!
I, however, must be a total wimp, because my mom allowed me to be in the room when my sister was born. I was 10 years old at the time. I totally freaked out because my mom had a VERY sudden, unexpected natural birth. No one saw it coming and there wasn't even a doctor in the room, just a nurse and that was it. I thought my mom was going to die. Had my sister's birth actually happened according to "the plan" for my mom to get an epidural, I think the experience for me wouldn't have been traumatic at all.
My daughter will be 10 when baby Noah is born and I have talked to her about being in the room and what exactly happens..... she said she would love to be there.... BUT we will see..... I say if you feel there old enough to handle it without it upsetting them then Definitely go for it.... Its a special experience and the other siblings deserve to be a part of that as well......
I delivered Quinn so quickly I had no chance to get an epidural. Ideally when I get preggers again I want an epid. :) I would not mind her there for the early stages but I think she would be scared and clinging to Daddy. So more than likely she will have a special day hanging with Grandma and Grandpa and she can come visit after it is all over with. :)
I would have normally said no, but our 4, almost 5 year old wanted to be in the room.
I let him, but as long as I wasnt in pain, I didnt want him to see that. He stayed up beside me, and I pushed 3 times and she was out. If I was in pain I would have had them take him out of the room.
I have a 17 year old and I asked her if she wanted to be in there and she just smiled and said I dont think so...
well when it was all said and done.. she ended up in there and refused to leave.
Im hoping it was a good learning lesson for her being at such a trying state anyway. btw
she was up by my side... the whole time.
the ob and the nurses went into a panic because my LO heartbeat was dropping, and was saying she needed to come out now.. giving me oxygen... etc.. IM sure that had to be tough for her.
after the birth they had to go and do a d and c really fast. Im glad she was older because if not she really wouldnt of been able to handle that stress. blood was all over the floor. You just never know what can happen when delivering.
I agree with Andi, I think if you have older kids you can ask if they want to, but I think it would be traumatizing for younger kids. Plus you never know what could happen (like Tennesseegirl said). I think it can add more stress on you too. You'll be worried if Quinn is OK, or if she is acting up (which I am sure is a rarity), you won't need that on top of giving birth. Personally for me, No way. But it's a personal choice.
Depending on the child, I'd say in my life that generally the lowest age limit for having a sibling in the room would be around age 10. Even then, I would want to do some prep with photos and a lot of talking. But in my case the point is moot, as my son is only 2 and I'm bound to have a c-section this time. It wouldn't be much of a bonding experience.
my sis' friend allowed her 3 yr old dd in the room. i think it started to freak her out a little bit and im not sure but i think she had to step out with grandma. my son at 10 is so upset over me being even the slightest sick (bless his heart he is the cutest!) so it has to depend on the child.
on those tv shows i bet they sift through a hundred deliveries before they have one to show with a quiet happy family delivery lol
i am not pregnant and i dont think i will be for a little bit however, im not sure on having the children into the room. i am thinking maybe in the beginning of labour and right after delivery (depending on the time) would be good enough.
Our hospital won't allow them in until they are 14. My friend delivered at home with a midwife and her 3 year old was there the entire time and obviously she had no pain meds. I completely disagree with a younger child watching you deliver. Her little girl now goes around saying "Leave me alone, I'm having contractions" and will scream and put a baby under her shirt and push it out. A little too much for a 3 year old to know if you ask me. I think if you have older kids and they want to be in there, then that's a different story. I still don't know if I'd want my son to watch me push out a baby no matter what his age. Something about that disturbs me. It's ultimately your choice and what's best for your family. No judging her, just know what I would do!
I never had a desire to want Quinn to watch her sibling being born. After watching the show today tho I was just curious how everyone else felt on the matter. It is a beautiful thing and to each their own. I know Quinn would much rather watch her Sprout channel eat Mac and Cheese and play with her toys at the Grandparents house. Than watch her mommy scream at daddy for the pain I am now in. LOL ;)
Even though my children are older (15+) except for Noah, I have no desire for any of them to be present in the delivery room which is a non-issue anyway since I had a c-section. But if I had a vaginal delivery, I wouldn't have felt comfortable w/them there, even the girls although it might've made for a good reality check.
For the birth control purpose, I told the girls that getting pregnant was a quick way to get cellulite - that terrified them for some reason! My older girls just told me recently that they watched the show "Deliver Me" or something like that on Discovery Health channel - I hope that worked for all intents and purposes.
I would say no. I did not even allow my own mother in the room with either of the births of my girls, and I know she really would have loved to have been there, especially with the birth of our first DD (her first grand baby). I, like Quinns Momma, had a very fast delivery, with no time for epi's, or any pain med whatsoever. I enjoyed just having my husband, doula, midwives and nurses there, I felt like it was something I only wanted him to see me go through. Having Anyone else there would have stressed me out, especially my mother. My Oldest was 30 months old when our youngest was born, way too young. She is especially traumatized by the hospital, doctors and the like to begin with. We practically had to drag her to every prenatal visit, she is so afraid. She hates going to the doctors for anything, and that is a harsh understatement!! She would be very upset seeing me in pain, and the blood and screams I let out...She would be scarred for life. Personally, I prefer no family in the room, at all, besides DH. The best part, for me is after, sharing that bundle of joy with the family after Everything is cleaned, and I am chalk full of percoset, (that is about the only relieve I got, and not until after, obviously! Haha)
My older son had a great time at grandma's and grandpa took the day off too. It was nice as you never know what will happen. Carson had a very traumatic birth, so we didn't know what to expect when Cam came along. Carson tells me when I have another baby in my belly he and Cam will hang out with my parents and eat pancakes and play play doh. Sounds good to me. Carson got to meet the baby soon enough anyway. Each person is so different, but I know when the contractions kicked in they were hard and ran together, it took 7 tries to get my epidural with the last one, it was hard for my husband to watch. They had to turn down the pitocin during the process as my uterus got overstimulated again and I was not coming down from the peak, talk about hard to sit through when they had me sit up for the epi. There's no way I would want my kids to see me in that much pain. My sil on the other hand didn't feel her contractions and her husband literally would tell her when she was having one, she had no clue, a little pressure, but she had some extra padding on her belly. She was comfy till the last 1/2 and then it was so fast. Her little girl probably would have been fine to be there...
One issue is with older children (preteens) staring at their mothers genitalia during pushing, and during the birth. Its graphic, it can't be draped or hidden, and its laid out there for everyone to see. Stool is passed most times. These things can be difficult for this age child to watch.
Often there are emergencies that occur during birth, and the intensity of the situation is highly emotional and upsetting even for adults. Heck, even I get traumatized sometimes.
It can be disturbing to some youngsters, who may not feel comfortable expressing how they feel about viewing this intimate area up close and often for hours, and with how they might react to seeing blood, and sometimes emergency resuscitation being performed on the baby. Or the mother.
My local hospital has rules against this sort of thing. You are only allowed two people in the room with you, and they have to be over a certain age. I personally would never allow my children to be in the room when it was taking place.
I have a great picture of Jonathan at the age of 2 holding T AFTER I had him. Had Jonathan been in the room, it would have traumatized him. We nearly lost T and it was chaos on in the delivery room. It was chaos at the nurses station. They were in the waiting area during the delivery because when they left the house, I was only 2 cm and not making much progress. They got there just as my water broke, the cord prolapsed, and his heart rate tanked. They were stopped at the nurses station on their way in to see me because a majority of the staff was crowded around my monitor. They had no idea what was happening, but it went from completely benign to all hell breaking loose in a matter of a few moments.
With CJ, they stayed at Nana and Papa's until after they got the call CJ was born and we got my bleeding and CJ's sugar under control.
And to clarify, I was kidding with the teenager thing. There is such a lovefest after the baby comes out that even with the broken tailbone and bleeding that couldn't be controlled right away with CJ, it was still ,magical. Stupid teenagers would have been "oh it is so worth it" and the point would have been lost.
I had my teen daughters in the room with me. They were 15 and 13. It was a beautiful experience. I told them if at any point they felt uncomfortable they could leave. My oldest daughter stayed up by my head. My second daughter was down there watching it all, and thought it was beautiful. But they did realize I was in pain, although they both said I made it look easy. Well, of course, it was my fifth child! Personally, if I did it again I would do it the same way, if they wanted to.
I won;t even allow them to go to the ultrasound. I took my 13 year old to an ultrasound that was suppose to be routine and found out the baby had passed weeks prior. It was horrific and I still don;t know if she has recovered seeing me like that and her father. so because you can't predict what will happen no I won't have my children there..
My sister took her 6 year old into the ultrasound room to see the baby, and she too learned that the baby had passed 5 weeks prior!! 12 wk ultrasound, baby measured 7 weeks. My niece was still too young to really understand what that meant, and my sister got pregnant a month or two later, so I am still not sure whether my niece knew the baby died or not. My sister was SO worried about how it would affect her.
I would say that the older they are the better they'll handle it. I'm sure that everyone knows how well educated kids are these days, but I don't think I was ready for what I experienced! I cannot imagine putting my 3 year-old in the room for this next delivery...what a shocker that would be! Who knows how they'll respond...I'm sure every child is different. Personally, I would not want my child in the room with me. I was too loud! LOL!
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