Would you let your son play with toy guns???

Would you let your son play with toy guns? I hate the idea of my son playing with toy guns. I'm afraid some day he'll find a real one and think he can play with it and hurt or kill someone or himself. Everyone thinks I'm paranoid. Everyone I know lets their kids play with toy guns. We have neighbors who let their kids play with toy guns and they have quite a few of them. The little boy next door, I think he's five, even got a bb gun. I was real upset when my son came home from a day playing at their house and said they were playing with the bb gun shooting the tree. Although their only bb’s they can still do damage. I don't know why anyone would even give a five year old a bb gun. No one except my husband understands and the kids next door like to get Aries to do things they know I don’t like him doing. So, now he's no longer allowed to play next door and he doesn't seem to understand why. I told him but he's just too young to understand and everyone tells me I'm crazy and I should let him play, "he's just a boy!" they say. Am I just paranoid? What do I do? Would you let your son play with toy guns?

[Jame0223]

I don't have a son yet, but I do have a 5 year old nephew. He had a toy gun at my house. He would run around pretending to shoot me and I would tell him thats not a good thing for him to do but he would just laugh and keep doing it. He's not my kid, but it was my house so after he left the last time, I threw the darn thing away. Next time he came over he asked me where it was and I told him that it must have gotten lost. He was sad but it took him not even 2 minutes to find something else to do and its ancient history now. I don't know if he's allowed to do it at home or if he has any other toy guns, but I didn't like it. I don't think its too bad to have one toy gun, but if he goes around pointing it at people then I think its time for a new toy. Even if its a toy...you never know what could happen if they do/did find a real one! The most important thing is to teach them gun safety and that its a very big no no to point it at people.

As for your neighbor. THEYRE CRAZY! I would NEVER give a 5 year old a bb gun. Those things can really hurt someone. My older brother got one when he was 15 or 16 and he knew how to use it fine. He was shooting the air into his hand when the gun was empty and low and behold there was a bb stuck in the chamber and he shot himself in the hand! He was old enough to know how to use it and still got hurt. I would never let my kid have one until he's around 15 as well and even then it would be in parentaly supervision when he was allowed to use it!

[chantal21]

Hmmm...this is a tough one. My son is 13 months and I don't plan on buying any toy guns. It's not that I'm against it completely, I just don't want him growing up, like you said, thinking he can just play around with a real gun and point it at someone. Way too many horror stories fo children doing this because either the parents didn't inform them, or didn't keep the guns locked up. Although, boys don't ever have to see a gun to pretend they have gun with something else. My little brother was about 2 or 3 and didn't even know what a gun was, and used his fork at dinner and pretended to be shooting stuff. It's a boy thing I guess. He is almost 8 now, and under the supervision of my father at all times, he is allowed to shoot bb guns, and has also shot a 22 at a gun range. But he now knows that guns are not toys and you never point them at anyone.
My husband plans on teaching our son, once he is old enough, how to shoot a real gun.
I guess, I would say, I'm kinda against the toy guns for now because I want him to know they are not toys, but something serious.
I've been to the grocery store and other places and see little kids with their little plastic guns, just pointing them at random people and pretend to shoot them. At first you think, oh it's funny and how cute, but when you stop to really think about it, it's actually not. They could grow up thinking that's what you do in life with guns. Unless you are threatened or attacked, there is no reason you should be pointing a gun at anyone, real or not. Just my opinion. But this is an interesting topic. One I am going to talk to my husband about so I know exactly where he stands on it. I'm sure he shares my opinion though.
Just teach your son what you do with guns and teach him gun safety. When I was younger, my parents took us to a class to learn. It was really interesting and I'm glad I went and had that experience. And if you are comfortable with it, you can always get one of those airsoft guns (won't penetrate skin, but can still be dangerous) and only let him shoot outside at like a can or something (if he's really interested in something like that) that way he learns they are not to be pointed at people but can be something fun to do if you are smart and mature about it. But that one is completely up to you. To use a REAL bb gun....I wouldn't allow that until my son was much older. But that's me. I know those things can be dangerous. We never had bb guns of any kind in our house growing up. All we had were rubber band guns. And only one. We didn't get that until we were at least 10-12. But do what you feel is right for the safety of your child.

[GRose]

All of my brothers played with toy guns so did all my guy friends when I was little, heck even I played with toy guns. None of ever thought that is was ok to shoot people and we didn't grow up sick in the head, wanting to shoot people. Noah doesn't have any guns but I'm sure he will one day. He pretends other toys are guns or swords. What about squirt guns? Are those bad? He plays with his friends nerf guns and I play with him, we shoot back and forth at each other. It's just playing in my eyes. Maybe I am too lax, I dont know. Obviously it's your choice.

[GRose]

Oh BTW, BB guns, NOT ok for kids under 12 or 13, especially not 5. I dont think you are being paranoid about that.

[megmil]

Well first of all. My sisters keep getting gifts that are toy guns and I just can't keep them away. Second I know about them using anything as a gun. He picked up a stick and acted like he was shooting and I told him to put it down. Third, my husband has a bb gun and uses it to get rid of the 20 something stray cats around our house so Aries thinks that's what guns are for. I just can't get people to see my point of view. They keep giving him guns to play with and I just don't like it. Too many stories of kids finding guns and thinking they can play with them and shooting themselves or their friends. How can I get people to see I do not under any cercumstances want him playing with them so I cn feel safe when I leave him with someone that he's not playing like he's killing people? I know what you're saying about teaching him about gun safety but I just want him to stay away from them all together. There is no reason why he would ever need to touch one anyway unless he decides to become an officer or a hunter. I just feel that teaching him about the safety isn't enough right now when he's so young and probably won't understand.

[AHP84]

Okay, well first off...what kind of idiot parents give their 5 year old boy a bb gun?!

As for the toy gun issue, however, I have a 4½ year old boy and he has a few toy guns. I don't mind him playing with toy guns but I do have conditions to what they look like and how he plays with them.
I will not get him toy guns that look realistic. My son's toy guns are SuperSoakers and Nerf guns (bright neon colors) and a wooden rubber-band shooter pistol that he got from a Civil War re-enactment. Other toy guns he has are teeny tiny because they belong with action figures. I will not get him toy guns that look realistic, because I want him to know and have no confusion about a toy versus the real thing, and the danger involved.
My son knows that guns can hurt and kill things. He has seen plenty of movies, cartoons even (Disney movies such as "The Rescuers Down Under"), and has been to Civil War re-enactments. He is actually afraid of real guns and wants nothing to do with them.
When he plays with his toy guns, I tell him that he's not allowed to pretend to shoot people (unless it's the water/Nerf guns), or that if we're playing an ambush game or something like that, that he is not allowed to act ruthless, evil, or murderous (and yes, he does understand the meaning of that). For instance, I won't allow him to say things like, "I'll shoot you in the head and kill you."
If he talks that way, I take the toy away. But I've found you can't avoid keeping a child from knowing about guns and weapons and imagining them as play toys--give them Legos and they build a gun. Send them outside and a stick becomes a sword.
My son decided to use a bubble wand as a dagger the other day and fight like Peter Pan with an imaginary Captain Hook.

[BearHitch]

I have a 19 month old and another boy on the way and I do not plan to let them play with toy guns, BB guns, and plan on really restricting which video games they play as most games are very violent and have the main idea shooting things.  I grew up with brothers who played with guns and none of them are serial killers or anything like that - but it only takes one.  It may be paranoid and overprotective, but I will be fine with people saying that and scoffing at some of things I will choose to do such as this.  In today's world when you have to be worried about your kids going to school you can't be too careful.  As you said, what if they got a real one - and they need to know the seriousness of a weapon.  I also do not want my boys to grow up insensitive to shooting things.  They may find other things to do that with, and I will deal with that as it comes, but I do not plan to put the toy in my child's hand.  My 2 cents.

[Wendy80]

I have mixed feelings about this.  Similar to what GRose said, my grandmother used to have half a dozen toy guns at her house in the toy box (these were very realistic looking, metal toy guns).  So I grew up playing "Cowboys & Indians" with my 2 brothers just as often as I played with my Barbies or My Little Ponies.  I was NEVER confused about the difference between a toy gun and a real gun... I knew that real guns were not toys.  Having said that, I will NOT allow any sort of gun into our house.  I realize that in certain cases (ie: if we were to be robbed) a gun in the house would be very handy to have... however, it's not worth it to me.  I'd be too afraid something bad would happen if it got into the wrong hands (or God forbid, I get up to get a drink in the middle of the night, trip over the dog, my husband grabs the gun half-asleep, stumbles out in the living room and accidently shoots me before he realizes I'm not an intruder... these are the silly things I worry about).  My husband grew up knowing how to use a gun (his dad taught him and his brother how to shoot when they were @ 10 years old... just target shooting, though)... and so he owns a shot gun, a pistol, and a semi-automatic (God only knows why his dad would buy them each a semi-automatic!).  Those guns are all at my father-in-law's house.  Anyway... there will never be a gun in this household as long as I live.  

But back to what you were saying, even if your sister or other family members don't agree with what you say, it shouldn't matter b/c it's your house and your child.  Granted it's harder when it's your husband who disagrees with you since he gets a say in how the child is raised too... but it's pretty rotten that your sister can't seem to understand how you feel about guns (toy or otherwise).  

And GRose, you are correct... BB guns should not be for children under the age of 12 or 13.  Just my humble opinion.  

[waitingwithhope]

You are the parent and if you don't want them getting toy guns from others you have to make sure that your voice is heard..or if nothing else, you put the guns that they receive in the garbage. BB guns really are not for kids at all, even older than 12, my boys don't play with them either. As they have gotten older, they do enjoy paintball and airsoft guns now and again but they are teenagers and it is still under the direct supervision of a parent with full gear and safety taken into concern.
Boys will make guns out of sticks, their fingers and whatever else they have, so it is impossible to avoid altogether (as was my plan originally). However, it is a different thing to encourage it or to buy them violent video games, etc. I was ok with my kids playing simple "cowboys and indians" type games with nerf guns but we also talked about it being play and that if they ever saw a gun somewhere they were not to touch it and to tell an adult. We don't have any guns in our house whatsoever..too risky with kids.
I think it is a parent's call...you are the parent, you get to decide what you want for your kids :)

[megmil]

So your four year old understands about real guns and fake guns? The reason this came up is because of the kid next door letting Aries play with his bb gun also because it's summer and the subject of water guns came up. Our friends like to get together and have water wars. I don't like Aries to be left out but water guns are still guns. You think he's old enough to know how dangerous real guns are and what he should do if he finds one? I have told him but it's scary to think he still might play with a real gun. He once asked a cop if he could play with his gun. And I found out he was playing with a bb gun. Is there some kind of educational video that might help him to understand? If I knew he understood about guns it maybe wouldn't be such a big deal. And how can I get him to understand that just because other kids are playing with bb guns doesn't mean he can? That just because the kid next door is allowed doesn't mean he is allowed.

[AHP84]

Yes, my son knows the difference between real and fake guns. That's not to say he doesn't have a typical fascination with real guns. He's afraid of real guns, but still finds them fascinating, so if he was under the wrong influence of someone--no offense to your neighbors--like your neighbors, who think it's okay to give a 5 year old a real gun (even if it's just a bb gun, it's still a real gun), he could end up in a very dangerous situation because all someone has to do is convince him that it's "just play" with a real gun. Kids his age are so easily influenced and manipulated.
I put a strong emphasis on life and injury with him; and that it is wrong to intentionally hurt someone or something or say you want to kill someone or something. I have taught him that pain is something nobody wants to feel, and that losing someone to death is very sad. My son is *extremely* sensitive to people's and animal's feelings and needs. He is very intuitive and compassionate.
But he's also a typical boy who wants to do daredevilish stuff and push boundaries, not to mention at a very impressionable age.
I'm really cautious what he sees on TV and the people he associates with. I want him to be a normal boy with imagination and testosterone, but I don't want him to be influenced into violence and dangerous situations. So every time I'm aware that he could be influenced, I put a lot of emphasis on how people's emotions and physical feelings are involved, so that he's influenced the right way.
Like at the Civil War re-enactments. It's all pretend and the guns are fake, but he thinks they're real because they fire and make smoke and a loud noise. Then people fall down and pretend to die, and slip some red die onto their clothes. He's not aware this is fake; I have to tell him it is fake. But it looks real and so I tell him that, "That poor guy just got shot. That other man killed him. Isn't that sad? His kids will miss their Daddy."
He knows it's fake because I told him it's fake, then he sees the guy get up a few minutes later. But during that time, he understood the "real" affect of what just happened, and that it is NOT a game if it really happens.
I think the main reason my son can tell the difference between a real gun and a toy gun is because I don't let him play with realistic ones. I think he's afraid of real ones because he doesn't like the gunfire sound, and he understands that if someone is killed, it's permanent and they will not come back like the re-enactment soldiers, because he does understand death, too. We've had a dog die, and he saw his great grandfather a day before he died. He knows the sadness that comes with death, even though he's still very young.

[AHP84]

I would allow your son to play in the water wars with water guns. Most water guns really look nothing like guns, at least, the SuperSoakers don't. The ones with the little triggers that look like pistols are usually cr@ppy water guns anyway and make a pathetic little squirt that you have to be 6 inches away from the person you're squirting just to get a few drops on them, you know? Plus, they usually leak water around the triggers. The SuperSoakers are like this big hunk of plastic with a pump that shoots a jet stream--in my opinion they're nothing like gun play. You're usually having so much fun getting wet and running around that the last thing on your mind is "If this were a real gun, it would shoot bullets and not water."
The only thing you think in a water war is "Aaaaahhh! I've been sprayed!"

I think kids know and understand a lot more than we give them credit for at such a young age. I think your son could very well know and understand the difference between a real and toy gun and the dangers. Many people are surprised at how much my son understands, how intuitive he is to people's needs and stuff. Just because they're young doesn't mean they can't understand a basic difference between real and fake, and cause and effect.

[megmil]

Well I can understand what you are saying and my son knows about death too. His baby brother died last year but I have a fealing that if he came across a real gun he will not understand why he can play with other guns but not that one. He keeps telling me that if he goes next door he won't play with the gun but I know if they brought it out he wouldn't be able to keep his hands off of it. I feel so confused. No one seems to care about what I think either. They say I'm being mean. I don't want Aries thinking I'm being mean but what is he supposed to think when everyone else says it right in front of him? That's the biggest problem here when absolutely no one I know agrees with how I feel and they think Aries should be able to play with them. I really wonder if I'm just crazy. I'm just a paranoid freak cuz all kids play with guns.

[Whitneylauren]

My eldest has a few toy guns and loves them. I see no harm in letting him play cowboys and indians or space ranger etc. He is a boy!

Also, when my brother was little my mother (being an ex hippie) vowed never to buy him a toy gun for all the reasons you can guess. Instead she purchased legos for him to build things. Well he ended up building guns with his legos.... so she just gave up.

I grew up in Wyoming where guns are everywhere. Children are taught from a very young age about gun safety and many go hunting with their parents. Play guns are very different from real guns and as long as a parent teaches their child the difference there should be no problem. We cannot teach our children by keeping them hidden from the things we fear. Instead we need to show them the differences between pretend and the real thing.

[AHP84]

No, you're not paranoid at all!
If I had neighbors like that, I wouldn't let my son play there either because it's a protective issue. I can't believe your neighbors give their 5 year old a real gun and act like it's nothing more than a toy.
My son would be the same way as yours, that if he got to handle a real gun because someone told him it was okay and treated it like there was no threat or danger, then yes, of course he would!
You're his parent and you know what's best for him. Who cares if people think you're mean because you don't want him playing with toy guns?
Some parents think I'm mean because I don't let my son run around in restaurants and other people I know allow it of their kids. I'll make my son sit and stay in his seat while he watches other kids run around places (and I'm not talking about McDonald's--I mean places like Applebees). Sure he feels left out, but at the same time, those are MY rules and he will follow them. I point out to him later, or even right there, "Look at the other people sitting and trying to enjoy their dinner, but see how annoyed they look?"
I don't let my son watch certain movies, and I found out one day that his daycare had a new teacher who let the class watch a movie that another kid brought in just because it was rated PG. Well, I knew about that movie, and I was livid. I called his daycare and they had no idea this teacher let the class watch the movie.
Call me a "mean" parent, but I know what's best for my son, and I stay consistent with the rules I expect him to follow--he was the one who told me he watched that movie and asked if I would be mad at him for it.
Do what you know is best for your child--you know him better than anyone else does. :-)

[megmil]

That really made me laugh. Parents thinking you're mean because you don't let your son run around in resaraunts. I can't imagine a parent like that who thinks its okay to run around in restaraunts where people are trying to have a nice quiet meal. I like to go to Olive Garden and Red Lobster and I get embarrassed when my son throws a fit or tries to run around. I actually have heard of people who think that if a child acting this way at a restaraunt annoys you then you're not fit to be a partent but it annoys the heck out of me and when my son behaves that way we leave. I can understand a fussy baby but not a toddler who should know better. I have to go though for now. My son says he's done playing and wants to do ABCs. I think that's great when he asks to sit and study. I know by the time he's in high school he won't be so interested.

[GRose]

About the restaurant thing, I dont even think it is a matter of toddlers knowing better, it is a matter of PARENTS knowing better. I see parents all the time with a screaming hungry toddler and they just sit there, I mean, get up, take your kid outside and if they dont calm down, get the food togo and get out.

Back to the gun thing- No matter who agrees with you or disagrees with you it is YOUR kid and YOUR decision, if people dont want to listen to your wishes and give your son guns ask for a receipt and get something that you think is more appropriate. I know it will upset your son but they are your rules and they need to be followed.

[pertykitty]

my son would simply make a gun out of his cracker, spoon lol.  sure he played with toy guns.  i grew up in a family where we target shot for fun.  we were taught at a young age about gun safety and its dangers.  we dont own guns now because dh doesnt care for them but i love to shoot and if kept in the right manner in the home it can be a fun sport.

[waitingwithhope]

I laughed at the gun out of a cracker..too funny...my boys were just the same!! Boys will find a way to make a gun!

[megmil]

Everyone keeps saying that and I'm well aware. My son does and I tell him that's not how we use that, or that's not how we play with that and he stops. I keep getting the same thing but the problem is that no one will respect the fact that I don't want him playing with guns. And I'm scared that no matter how much I tell him abou tgun safety if he finds one he'll play with it anyway because I'm worried he's not old enough to understand the difference between playing with a real gun and a toy. It's like when you train your child not to climb on the furniture, not that dangerous, they might fall and get a scrape but it's the same if you tell them not to do it then one day for whatever reason, you don't feel like arguing or something, you just let them do it. Then they think it's alright and the next time you say no they wonder why. I have a sister that thinks it's cute to teach her kids bad words and tells them to say them for people then if they say it otherwise they get into trouble and don't understand why. You get what I'm saying? I feel if I let Aries play with toy guns and tell him but you can't play with real ones because their dangerous and so on then he will wonder why or try to play with one just to see what the big deal is. No one understands that and think I'm mean to my son because every other kid in the world plays with guns. I was just wondering when I posted the question if there might still be anyone out there who feel the same way I do or if I'm just overprotective or something. But other than one, possibly two people, who replied, everyone lets their kids play with guns. So maybe I am being overprotective. I still don't think that changes my mind about letting him though. But it seems that they're everywhere and I can't control what's at his friends houses or my mother's or any of my sister's houses and none of them care about what I think. If I leave him with someone to be watched he will get ahold of one. Maybe taking him to speak with an officer would help him to really understand. THank you everyone for your input. I still will not allow them at my house but if I can't control what he does elsewhere I need to do all I can to make SURE he knows how dangerous they are.

[sstaceyy]

my boys play with toy guns but they know the diffrence my cousian when he was 3 his 4yr brother shot him with his dads gun cuase they thought it was a toy so we tall our kids you dont ever touch a gun you come get me or your dad i dont care if its a toy or not we have there toy guns put up they only can play with them if we get them down.

[megmil]

That's a good idea. i never thought of that. No mater if they think it's a toy or not have him come to me before touching it and I will decide whether he can play with it or not. I like that.

[waitingwithhope]

You have to do what you feel is best...you need to have peace of mind. I think I went the 'in between route" of making them respect real guns and only allowing water guns and nerf guns on occasion- outside. It is easier to do this when they are a bit older as they are very aware that toy guns also can mimic real guns..so they just stay away from them all (with the exception of controlled play like paintball). I think it is natural for them to want to pretend play with a pretend weapon...so maybe you can come up with another thing that is less aggressive and won't be confused with a gun...like a foam sword? My kids loved those too. Again, outside silly play but that's it.