alcohol in pregnancy

I have posted here before, but not in a long time...I am 14 weeks pregnant and my wedding anniversary is coming up. I was wondering if anyone knows if I can safely have a glass of wine at dinner on my special day without feeling guilty about it. All the research I have done says that the amount of safe alcohol consumption during pregnancy is unknown so it is better to avoid it completely, which is what I will probably do. I was just looking for insight from real people with real stories. Can I safely have a glass of wine with dinner once in awhile? Any comments would be appreciated! Thanks!

[pertykitty]

many will tell you that they drank in their pg and their babies were fine.  sure, it doesnt show for years at times. one glass is ok. your right the effects are unknown, but if you have one glass of wine on your anniversary i highly doubt any effects could take place.  again i know a few will chime in and say its ok.  but seriously like smoking, the effects may not show up for years.  this is my opinion and you have to go with what works for you i suppose. i say have the one glass on your special day if you choose, but as far as occationally with dinner, well we have to protect our babies even in the womb and i dont believe in even the occational drink without the facts of it being 100% ok.  you wouldnt leave a seatbelt of your kids and say its just a few blocks would you?   what i mean is you dont know, the risk could come at any time and rather than trust it wont, just make sure.  9 months is a rather short time to give up alcohol.  you could  have a juice mixed with 7up but put it in a wine glass.  again just my opinion.

[AnnieBrooke]

I got a kick out of drinking sparkling water on the special occasion when there was a toast.  It called more attention to the fact that I was pregnant in a neat way (ooh, she's PREGNANT!  Look at how well she is taking care of herself!  etc. etc.)   Why does it matter so much to have a glass of wine, especially in the face of unknown risks?  You'll be able to drink again soon enough.

[Luv4aila]

It's not that important that I have a glass of wine. I was just looking for stories of people who HAVE had a drink or two and what happened, if anything. And what others thought about the subject in general. I guess it is more of a curiousity thing because there really isn't a lot of research on the subject. I have this book called "The pregnancy Bilble" and it says to use moderation and common sense, that a small drink once in awhile after the first trimester probably won't hurt. And I have an acquaintance whose OB told her she could have up to 2 glasses of wine a week and be fine. I don't think I am going to...even if it is okay, and nothing happens, I would probably feel guilty for the rest of my pregancy for doing it!
The sparkling water is a good idea. Thanks,  I think I will try that:)
Any other fun substitutes you ladies know of?

[tmv]

Also, I imagine that you would get a lot of negative feedback if you drink the wine from a lot of people.

I agree, sparkling water is the best.

[1nana]

Sparkling grape or apple juice, should suffice.

[pertykitty]

some drs do think its ok, but that is their personal belief since it hasnt been proved one way or another.  and you will have lots of women who will come back and say i drank and smoke and did this and my baby is fine.  unfortunatly the effects may not show up for years.  have a shirley temple lol that sounds darn good to me right now.  have them put lemon or lime slices in your sparkling water so its more fun to drink (i guzzle water and im getting tired of it!)  while i am so craving a cold cold beer, ill wait.  and by the way i have tried the nonalcoholic wines ICK!!!  gross dont do it! lol

[Tanker Chic]

A lot of people have told me that their dr told them it was okay to have an occasional glass of wine.  Personally, I think if I had one, I would want another so I just figure I won't even go there. But that is just me.  I'm not a one glass kind of girl. I know my limitations :)

But I think it is a personal choice, and I don't think the sky is going to fall either way.  I'm no doctor tho.  

Take care..

[ImmortalOne]

I wouldn't chance even a single drink personally.  I'm getting married in less than a week and we got sparking cider and sparkling grape juice inplace of  wine or champaine.  

[ang79]

I have to say that I work in a clinic for children prenatally exposed to drugs and alcohol and I am an advocate against drinking, doing drugs, or smoking during pregnancy (I am not a doctor). I have seen what it does to kids and you don't want to feel responsible for holding your child back developmentally. I am not trying to preach or anything, but if you are sitting here with the option, choose to not have the glass of wine. It is one thing if you do it before you know you are pregnant, since you didn't know. Alcohol and methamphetamine are the two worst things you could take while pregnant. Just like doctors, I have no clue what the effects are of just one drink, but there is no sense in risking it. I have an uncle with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and he has never been able to get his act together. He is constantly in jail and has no concept of consequences or thinking through his actions. True, his mother had more than one, or two, or 50 drinks while she was pregnant, but you never know. Better safe than sorry.

[Me2mommy2b]

I am SURE that the kids you see at your clinic are not the result of one glass of wine.  I, personally, wouldn't have the wine but people all over the Europe drink wine while pregnant...

[pertykitty]

im sure its not from one glass either, but i think if you had to see that everyday you would have a hard time accepting just one drop.

[lovethebops]

I would not personally do this, but I did know a women who could not give up caffine and got her starbucks fix on a daily basis, and she admitted she would have a glass of red wine w/ dinner almost everynight through her pregnancy...her doc was aware and said it was ok...It is true that preggo women in Europe continue to drink...This women mentioned did go on to have a healthy baby(for now), but true, the affects are unknown at this point...Again not something I would recommend or do myself, but you wanted true stories, so......Oh and I have always heard it is better, should you have one drink on a special occasion, that it is close to the end of the pregnancy as possible, and not at all close to the beginning when the baby is forming and the most important things are taking place....HAppy anniversary and celebrate wisely for your baby's sake, good luck!

[ang79]

Thank you pertykitty, that was all I am saying. Of course one drink probably isn't going to mess up your kid, as I stated. I think if someone even has a doubt in the back of their mind about it, which if someone is asking about it they obviously do, then they just shouldn't do it. The person who started this post wanted to know what the effects could be, and I see the effects every day. I am entitled to my opinion, and my opinion is that it is only 9 months, so why risk it? Drink all you want once that baby is out of you and not dependent on you for it's nutrients. You wouldn't put wine in a baby's bottle, so why would you feed it to it while it is inside of you-especially at such a sensitive developmental stage?

[AnnieBrooke]

The other thing is, what if your baby was born with some problem?  Wouldn't you always wonder if it was the ________ (drink, x-ray. exposure to truck exhaust, marijuana, cat feces, you name it)?  The major reason I was pretty much death on any of the questionable stuff even in tiny amounts is because I don't want to have to wonder and grieve and say "what if?" later over something that happened.  I had a vanished twin at 8+ weeks, and at 6 weeks I had refused dental x-rays.  I was always SO glad I hadn't had the dental stuff at that point because I would have always wondered a little bit if it caused the loss of the twin and I could have prevented it. This way, I know it didn't.

[RockRose]

Luv - the truth is,  one glass of wine on your anniversary won't have any affect on your pregnancy whatsoever.

The problem is,  women who feel the need to ask, and then go on to ask if a glass of wine with dinner is fine are a concern.  

If it's not that big a deal,  as you say,  don't do it.  

[anxiousmomtobe?]

Dont' do it.   It's just a few months of your life.  

[jd1419]

I had a glass or champagne and the a wine spritzer at my sister's wedding I was 7 1/2 months pg.  That was the only alcohol I had once I knew I was pg.  It was a very special occasion, so I felt that I could.  It was nice to have, since I do like drinking wine.  If you decide you don't want to drink wine, a real cool drink to have while pg is cranberry juice and 7 UP (sprite)  It looks like a drink but also gives you some benfits of the cranberry juice...even non alcoholic draquiries are great...From experience my OB told me I could have glass of wine with dinner once a week if i chose and I would be fine..I didn't but I did not feel guilty at my sister's wedding for those two drinks.

[pertykitty]

again, drs that tell you its fine are just speculating. a drink a week very well could cause problems, but may not.  they are not crystal balls and can predict, what do they say after if there is a problem oops?

[AndiJ78]

Since they do not know how much is too much, my vote is it is safest sticking with none. You have gotten some great ideas for alternate drinks, why not go that route?

I go out to dinner and have been  pg through many special occasions. In fact over the last 7 years, I have been pg and/or nursing on my anniversary EVERY year! Thankfully everyone around me has the same views on drinking and nursing/pregnancy, so they were happy to either bag on drinking themselves or make sure there were plenty of non-alcoholic choices.

[jifnif]

My dh and I were out this past weekend with friends for the first time in months and everyone was drinking.  All my friends were saying it was ok to have a glass of wine and one wouldnt hurt.  Well, as much as I wanted one, I just couldnt do it.  I did have a sip of my dh's beer and I drank pomegrante tea from a wine glass!!!  Yummmmm.  I feel drunk around friends anyway...I think it is all the laughing!!  I know my dr said that his wife had an occasional glass of wine throughout her pregnancies but I did what I felt ok w/ .   :)  Listen to everyone's stories and then listen to your heart.  

[skeeterw]

When I was pregnant for my son I asked the doctor about having a glass of wine ( just like u for a special occ.)  and she also said that i could have a glass of wine once a week and it would not affect the baby.  I went ahead and ordered the glass of wine and after 2-3 sips i could feel the wine and i felt guilty and gave the glass to my husband. I figured that if i could feel the glass of wine that strong and that quick what was my baby feeling and i did not have another drink until after my son was born. It is totally your decision if you want to drink or not. And i know of women who have there one glass of wine while they are pregnant and there babies are healthy and doing fine. It is personal perference and every one is entitled to there opioion and good luck with what ever decision you decide to make

[Luv4aila]

Thanks for all the comments, ladies. I appreciate your stories:)

[Kitty957]

EVERYONE that I know says that having a GLASS of wine is not going to hurt anything.. even my doctor. If you really want to have A glass, then have a glass.  

Thanx.  Kit