Given the MASSIVE reaction to #11's post yesterday, I have been thinking of a way to respect everyone on the site. If someone posts an "am I pg?/open forum daily, then all the returning ppl with questions/symptoms can post there. Perhaps that will lessen the number of questions taken, while still giving everyone the support they need. What do you all think?
It's a good idea, but the "am I" questions are usually from new members who don't realize that the question is so repetitive. This topic comes up every few months...the people tired of seeing those questions on one side and the newer people who have more patience on the other.
It is true tht I am new to this site, so maybe i am not just sick of it yet, but I think that things were blown a little out of proportion. About half the posts her eare questions, the rest are updates, or people looking for good luck wishes, people announcing their bfp/births. Its not just a medical site on this forum, and we have to try and be nice to everyone. i am sure that if someone would explain nicely once etc. that most posters would respect the general wishes of everyone on here.And if someone is going through a loss of pg and wants to post three days in a row, I dont care. What would that say about us? We dont seem to mind when someone who is allready part pf the "group" post about their u/s, or the sex of their baby. Thats not a med question either. I think attacking newcomers is kind of low and not sympathetic at all. How would we want to be treated if we were in that position??
I agree with mslkpage. I too like this idea, but I'm not sure it will help.
This topic cycles around every few months. People squabble about whether or not they find the repetitive questions unacceptable and a big debate heats up.
The "Am I Pregnant" questions will never stop. If the rules of MH don't stop them, then occassional debates on here certainly won't. The posters are usually new members who have no idea what has been discussed here in the past and don't care. They're looking for specific advice about their specific case.
The only way to deal with it is skip the post if you don't like it.
i think one reason that it keeps coming up is because not every detail is the same as there and when the question is presented in the other's forum, it is not answered. I think it's a great idea though! Maybe it will keep everyone happy
i find it funny that some feel their thoughts are legite while others are not. who are we to say anyones question is not of value? you dont like the heading dont read it. i have been one im sure to post more than once with the same type of question. when i was going through my mc i was desperate for anything other than the drs " your PROBABLY going to lose it" answer. so maybe there are rules to this posting, but even using this forum to complain is not what its about. so by starting something that isnt a med question you have done the same thing your complaining about! do i have typos? i dont care. was i offending? i am truely sorry if i was. between all the jobs as a wife, mother, working and everything else who has time to read through all the previous threads, and truely sometimes we want a personal answer. maybe its time some of us find something else to do other than sit at the computer all day just to find something to complain about! whew! good luck to everyone that has a legitimate med question and ttc. i wish you ALL a great day
i do think that it is a good idea to post the same type of question on the same forum, the only problem is some people don't go back to read a post if they have already read it once earlier in the day.
I wasnt responding to you sweetie. I did not direct anythign I wrote to you, I was just posting in general, and it happened to be after you posted. Sorry if I offended you, I did not mean to (((HUGS)))
What i don't understand is why it bothers everyone so much - i know that people don't want all the questions taken up and i get that, but really i feel like it goes deeper than that - i think those that are "anti" the repetitive questions are really just annoyed at what they see as someone else's naivety. i know that it's annoying when we see someone else doing or saying something that is so obvious to us, but put yourself in the other person's shoes for a second. i would think that the question (like the annoyance) is really coming from somewhere else also. even though some of the people may honestly not know what symptoms for pregnancy are or that they're so similiar/exact to af symptoms, but most are probably just need some time and attention. we all know how difficult and emotionally draining ttc is - between dr.s, bbts, opks, waiting, the exciting BFP or the hated aunt flow, and the dreaded m/cs - we try to grab on to anyone and anything we can that may have one extra piece of advice, or just a shoulder to cry on. i try hard not to ask too many of the same questions or of what would be considered "stupid" questions by many on here, but i probably am and have been culprit to asking them anyway without meaning to be repetitive or annoying. i would suggest though that instead of getting all worked up about these questions - although i do think it's perfectly fine to have discussions about it - everyone can vent - either don't answer (like has been suggested before) or answer, but try to see beyone the scope of the question. maybe simply state the typical answer, but then say you feel for the person or understand what they're going through (which i think many people do anyway). like mslkpage said it's usually from newer members who don't realize that is "annoying" to so many and don't even realize that can search site or add to another post. i know that when i started coming on here in march after 2nd m/c i had no idea how this worked. i probably posted the same question a million times and when i didn't get an answer or what i felt calmed my nerves i probably asked it again. also sometimes when you add to another post people don't see it and don't go back so even if you tried to ask a question there so as not to "take up" another question you wouldn't get answered and have to ask the question in own forum (this happened to me a few times so in the end i just posted the question in own forum and added that it's an open forum). like i said before most people who ask this i would think really just want someone to talk to and to answer them so if see don't get answered by adding to another post will just ask it anyway. i hope that my opinion didn't offend anyone. i really like coming on here and it's really helped me through the m/cs and the frustrations and heartache of trying again. so i do appreciate everyone's advice and opinions (whether they're ones i completely agree with or not) and hope that we can continue to be here for eachother.
I agree with you completely. We just need to live and let live here. I hope I didnt come across as rude by suggesting the "am i pg" open forum, I was just trying to cool things off since yesterday - in no way did I intend to "side" with the complainers. I completely disagree with them, and find it sad that there are those of us who need to mock ppl who are suffering and want some support. I hope I didnt give anyone the impression that I am one ofthem.
no don't worry about it - the truth is with all the hormones running loose and emotional drainage on these forums i don't take to heart anything that could rub me the wrong way under normal circumstances (not that anything written about this would in normal circumstances either). it was a good idea what you suggested i just don't think it would necessarily work for everyone. don't worry though about responses you may be getting that can make you feel bad. everyone can suggest what they want the same way everyone can say they disagree. i actually think this whole thing was good - it kinda took everyone's mind off ttc for a little bit and all the pains of actual pregnancy and got us to discuss something else. it's good to see and read other people's opinions - it gives a little more insight into who we're speaking to on here. i feel like i know people a little better with "hearing" their different opinions. and just b/c i don't necessarily think the same way doesn't mean i like anyone less. hope you feel good and all is going well with you.
one more out of me, i have gone back and read previous posts prior to asking the SAME question. the problem can be the advise. maybe it wasnt what i wanted to hear. or it was i just didnt like it. whatever the case i have to say i truely respect and thank those women out there that are so imformitive. there are a few that i so respect with their kinds words of wisdom and i can remember what it was like to not know anything about how my reproductive system worked! check my cp? ewww check my cm? are you crazy! in learning how to do this to make a little beautiful baby i am thankful for you all talking about this. am i rambling? probably-im good at that. so when my time comes agan to ttc and i get those questions, i know that turning here for support is the best place i can! my girlfriends dont want to know my bbt or if i have eggy mucus. lol. maybe there should be a forum in regards to hysterical hormones!! thanks for letting me talk. i do appreciate every thing i read regardless if i agree or dont agree. remember that poor girl that isnt allowed to have a baby out of wedlock because of her culture- we should all be thankful we are able to do whatever it is we choose!!
Thank you so much for the great idea and for your sensativity. I think that's where things went out of control with the original posting yesterday, it really lacked sensativity. I also want to sincerely apologize if I did offend anyone with any of my comments under the original posting. I know I went overboard on the sarcasm too.
....NOT A NEW QUESTION...but related to ''AM I?"
is it possible to be prego without having implantation bleeding? I am due for AF today, my last AF was May 28 and I am 32-34 days cycle, I have not done HPT yet but have a feeling I am (+). Any ideas about being pregnant without having implantation bleeding? Thank you all for giving me chance to post this question during your open forum. Thank you once again.
Thank you JJety for your reply. Does it sound to you that I may be ''lucky one'' as per my description. I am a bit nervous to take HPT because I keep doing it every month but I will do it anyway. I do have extremely sore bbs, feel a bit nauseated, bloated, tired and so on...but urinate only 1 time/night (excuse my details) or it's just AF tricks again. Thanks again.
It is nice to have something to discuss besides morning sicknes and sore boobs. Although I have to admit that I find my own (and everyone elses) discussions on the color, texture, and frequency of their cm very interesting. HAHAHA Just kidding. Anyway, you are all great and I am soo happy I found this site!! Sticky/baby dust to us all!!
Unfortunately, and I'm sure you've heard it many times before, PG and AF symptoms are so simliar that there is no way to tell before you take a test if you are pg. When is AF due? If she does not show, I would take a test the day after she does not arrive. This is when I got my BFP. I tested the day she was due and got BFN. So, unfortunately, all you can do is wait. Do update us though when you find out.
As the previous posters stated re: implantation bleeding, it is extrememly rare, to be honest, I didn't even know there was such a thing until I joined this forum.
I am a bit nervous what I never felt like this before. May be I am just hopping badly to be prego that's why or? I will do HPT on June 30 which is 34th day of my cycle to see the result. My whole face has covered with brake outs over the last night and my bbs/nipples are twicw bigger in the diameter size which looks a bit different to me too. I am just hopping. Thank you all for help to understand my situation.
What happened was that a comment under "Do we coddle too much?" ignited a big reaction. If you want the full drift, scan down for the thread. Some feel that the tendency of posters to post repetitive questions that use up threads is annoying, and one kind of question that was singled out was the "am I pregnant?" question which MedHelp says shouldn't be posted in the first place. Others point out that people don't know MedHelp's rules, and more importantly, they come here for support often when their home support system just isn't there, and so what if things repeat, others can just not respond. Whenever this topic comes up on this forum, there gets to be some heat in the responses. Frustrated ttcers and hormonal pgers are usually very empathetic to each other, but this topic brings out all the bluebirds. :)
I just wanted to point out that everyone has to read the rules in order to sign up to post a question in the first place. So those that were saying that new posters don't know medhelp rules are wrong. If your going to post on a forum of any kind you should read and understand the rules first.
I forgot to put in my last post. Please dont think we dont appreciate questions! We absolutely do. The last thing I want is to scare you from asking a question that you feel is valid. Chances are, IT IS!! I am all for helping when I can. It is just the "am I pg" question has been alittle out of control lately. Please do not be afraid to post a question. Hopefully I will be able to ease your mind and answer it.
I didn't want you to think I was really afraid. I was just kidding. I guess I was trying to lighten the mood. It seems to have gotten a little tense in the past few days. I haven't actually posted anything in the last few days, just reading what's on everyones mind.
thanks again for the website. and I hope all goes well for you. I too will be ttc but, just had m/c so have to wait for a/f. sticky baby dust to all.
Honetly, this site is better than the other one I went to. Lots of fake stories and some guy pretending to be a pregnant woman. I forgot how many silly questions I had till I got pregnant again. I think it's great to just have a forum for those questions. So far I have thought everyone has been great, I'm thankful for everyone here sharing their stories, I never thought I'd have a m/c especially since I already have a beautiful son. It's been nice to know that I'm not alone.
You could definitely post this as a new question too (the episiotomy question), since not everyone will look at the bottom of this "open forum". But I think your question is a legit question and if you don't get enough help from this thread, don't feel bad if you have to post it again. We can never tell how people are going to react on here. I think it is a full moon tonight or something. Hope you find someone who can help you out or give advice.
Thanks! I was going to try and post but the questions are all used up and I couldn't find anything on here about that. I might try tomorrow to see. I wasn't sure if it was going to go over okay since this is mostly about ttc and m/c. Although I fit that too.
what you can do if question quota for day has been filled is go to the last post posted (top of page) and in area where says comment to:, write topic of your question. sometimes people will see this easier than bottom of older post. you may also want to just write something nice to whoever posted the original question so they don't feel like you're just taking over their forum. (not that you are, but people are sometimes sensitive and don't want their question to get lost - which i understand)
regarding the writing something nice to person who's forum using to ask question i would think even just saying "excuse me for interrupting forum" or something like that would be good enough (don't mean to sound like i'm telling you what to do)
Thanks so much for the idea! That thought never even occurred to me. You are so polite to think about making a nice comment to the poster. I have seen it a few times, does this apply on open forums too? I'm sorry, I'm still a little new to this, and I totally understand where you are coming from. Thanks for the help!
don't be sorry about anything - i would think that on an open forum you can ask anything without making a comment to the original poster, but it wouldn't hurt if people are in the middle of a "hot" topic to say something like don't mean to interrupt their discussion, but....sometimes it works to put questions on other forums and sometimes it doesn't so if you see you're not getting answered then don't hesitate to open your own forum once new questions are allowed. good luck with everything and hope you're feeling okay - i don't even want to try to imagine what that whole experience felt like and how it feels now - even 3 year later.
not to be the "forum police" or anything but "hi-jacking" another persons thread is in the rules too. You are not supposed to do it. I know people usually don't mind but there are those that might get a little mad about it.
My suggestion, go to the open forum and do exactly what was suggested, in the To: part, just put what the topic of your question is, or you can simply put "new question".
I hope I haven't mad anyone mad or offended anyone!!
My thought is that you might at least ask the doctor if there is any point to considering a c-section the next time around. It obviously isn't the uterus that sustained damage, it was the passages on the way out, so you won't have any trouble bearing the baby. It may be that once you are healed you are healed, even with all that damage, and it won't have an effect on a subsequent vaginal birth. The only reason I suggested the c-section option is that I was talking to a gal who had had both a vaginal birth and a c-section, and she told me she got over the c-section much faster than the vaginal. Good luck!
Thanks again. I can't complain too much, have a beautiful little boy, but it did take me a long time to get around to ttc again. We were going to try the end of the summer but this last pregnancy caught us off guard. My Dr. gave me the okay this past winter and we were just waiting on timing. Now I realize I don't care about the birth month and really just want a baby since I m/c. I hope that the next time around goes better and the baby is a little smaller, but if not, I'll deal with it. Thanks to everyone for their advice on how to approach this posting thing. I can totally understand someone having their feelings hurt, this is a pretty emotionally charged place, I know I get hurt easy too, so I hope I haven't offended anyone. Thanks!
Wow! I scrolled back to "do we coddle" and was really surprised at the huge debate. I am new to this site and have found it very helpful. I agree with those that said that most people who post multiple ?'s per day or repeat the same ? are mostly looking for a personal response and it does feel good to have y'all respond and give support or encouragement. I tend to just scroll thru the questions and if one seems related to me, then I'll read it and see if it answers any questions I may have. If something looks like a repeat or if I have no useful comment or advice I will just skip over it. I hope that isn't offensive too.
BUT.... now you all have me too scared to ask a question for fear I may be viewed as silly or just wasting space. lol. I do actually have a question but I am going to ask it in this thread rather than post a new question.
I am new to the site and not familiar with all the abbreviations, I keep seeing posts where someone will say they are in 2ww. What does that mean?????
2ww = two week wait. it is the time between ovulation and when your AF is due. This is agonizing for most women ttc (trying to conceive) because the am i? or aren't i? question comes up and every sign and symptom is analized. It takes forever to get through the 2ww. I was just there not so long ago myself.
BTW, there is a site you can find all the abbreviations used here.
I have a question thought I ask on the open forum. When I had my son I had 4th degree tears, he tore through the episiotomy and all they way through my rectum. I had a tough time recovering and had nerve damage from all of this. Last year my Dr. sent me to a physical therapist to help with pelvic floor relaxation and some other problems (my son is almost 3 now). I have gotten most of the feeling back, but it's still a little tender. I m/c the beginning of this month and will be ttc soon. I'm a little worried about the pressure the baby will be putting on the area that was damaged. Anyone go through this and know what I should expect? Thanks.
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