anyone who has had missed miscarriage

Hi guys!! I am so afraid this is what I am going through. Those of you who have had missed miscarriages, did you continue to have pregnancy symptoms even though the baby had died? I am still nauseous but have no breast tenderness like I did with my son. I am afraid of the answer but need to know. Thanks

[JustME9]

I kind of started to lose my symptoms..but i thought it was because i was at the end of my first trimester! I hope you are ok and that your baby is ok! ((((HUGS))))

[Stacie30]

I had a missed miscarriage and had absolutely NO idea. My symptoms had eased up a little (still had sore breasts- but not as sore- still was nauseous and tired) but I also attributed that to being towards the end of my 1st trimester. I went in for an ultrasound at 12 weeks and found out that the baby had died at 8wks 6 days. I started spotting slightly brown the day before my ultrasound-but had no cramps so I wasn't really worried about it. Ended up having to have a D&C.

I hope you aren't going through this. It is the worst thing that I have had to endure in my life and would not wish it on anyone.

[Bevin]

My symptoms started decreasing before I found out.  The most noticeable thing was my breasts no longer being tender.  Other than that, I had no real indication but did feel a little weird.  Best wishes to you.

[cat.997]

I just had a missed miscarriage and had no reduction in symptoms.  Just found out because I'm high risk and the Dr. did several early u/s.  She didn't see anything on u/s but an empty sac.  I still had sore breast and fatigue.  If you're really worried about it talk to your Dr. and see if they'll do u/s to check it out.  Have you seen the heartbeat yet?  

I hope you aren't going through this.  It sucks.  Good thoughts for you and your baby!!!

[kathie75]

I had a missed miscarriage. I was 12 weeks and found out the fetus died at 9 weeks. I had no idea. My symptoms eased up a little bit but nothing drastic where I felt like something was wrong. I hope that you and your baby are okay and that everything turns out good.

[boosmom]

Ive had 4 missed mis.,its a terrible thing to go through.You definatly need an u/s.There is hope for those of you who have had many,I am currently 5 mths. and so far we have a happy healthy very active baby!I wish you all the luck in the world.

[brynn720]

I had a missed miscarriage. Went in for a check up at 14 weeks and Dr. couldn't find a heart beat. They said the baby died or stopped growing 2 weeks ago. Waited 2 weeks and then went in for a D and C. I am now pregnant again at about 15 weeks and still worried that something could go wrong or I'll miscarry without knowing it.  I've had 2 ultrasounds and everthing looks normal but am still very scared that something will happen again.  Any advice at how to relax and just enjoy the fact I'm pregnant.

[SierraSunshine]

I hope you're just being a concerned mother.  I have a beautiful little girl at home and I had an absolutely normal pregnancy.  Last Friday, I found out that instead of being 12 weeks pregnant with my second child, my baby died at 6 weeks.  I completely trust my doctor, she has had a couple miscarriages herself, and she recommended and conducted a D&C.  My body was fighting to keep this baby and it could have been several more weeks.  I needed closure and I needed the opportunity to move on.  

My symptoms were slowly going away, but for the most part I felt pregnant and I looked pregnant. My uterus continued to grow and before I had the ultrasound my doctor said I felt a solid 12 weeks...no worries, right?.  A few days later, I had very small bloody clots and they sent me for an ultrasound.  I knew during the ultrasound that it was over.  

Has anyone else had it go on this long and had their uterus continue to grow?  

I wish you the best of luck!

[daprincess21]

That is all i heard, was concern from brynn720. She is just nervous and scared bc of her past. As i am and i have never had a miscarriage.
I am not sure what to say about your situation. I guess i dont understand. did your uterus continue to grow after your D&C? I am sorry this has happen to you. I read somewhere along this forum awhile back a story about angels and miscarriages and how woman have been blessed with healthy pregnancy and babies after a miscarriage. Praying for you.

[yellowdaisie]

My uterus is still growing, but the baby stopped at 6 weeks. The doc gave me the choice to wait for the miscarriage or have a d&c. Still thinking about it. I am 12 weeks too.

[SierraSunshine]

Sorry, my comments were for GinGib.  I wish I had something for brynn720, but I will probably be in the same spot someday.  I'll never face pregnancy the same again.  My miscarriage will always be in the back of my mind and my baby will always be in my heart.  I appreciate your thoughts.  

For yellodaisie:  I'm so sorry that you have to face this decision.  I'm a working mom and I knew I wouldn't be able to keep it together emotionally at work and I have a child to care for, so I needed to get closure.  Do what feels right for you.  The physical recovery from the d&c is pretty quick, although I am still trying to lose the few lbs I put on.  I don't think we ever 100% emotionally recover.      

[haydensmomma]

Hi Ladies, I just wanted to post my comments, since I feel like i can relate to alot of you. I am 13 wks preg, and yesterday i had an ultrasound to catch baby's heartbeat. I still have all the symptoms in the book, but apparently, I lost the baby 6 wks ago at 7wks along. Talk about a shock....WHAT?? I have to go for a d&c next week, not looking forward to it, the emotional part will be the worst.  Looking back, about 6 wks ago, I had a one day where i burped these horrible rotten egg burps. they were aweful, and even made my cousin (who i was travelling in a car all day with) ill.  I felt gassy and gross, but the next morning, i was just fine.  I wonder now, if that was a sign. Anyone else had this??
Be strong ladies all ladies, We will all thrive and survive!!

[duehring]

I am going through the same thing. I am about 12 weeks. Went for a sono yesterday and the baby has died. It measured 9 weeks. I am going to try to wait it out and have a natural miscarriage but I would love to get it over with. I am still very sick with morning sickness. I have been through this once before at 11 weeks and miscarried naturally.

This stinks!

[prissy13]

What did you decide to do? D & C or wait for the miscarriage? My Dr. gave me the same choice. I  went in for an u/s at 11 weeks, only to discover that the baby had miscarried at 61/2 weeks.

[kristiana]

I had a missed miscarriage last year and I did stop feeling pregnant. I also just had a weird intuition from the beginning that something wasn't right. I started bleeding at the beginning of my 12th week and the u/s showed that the fetus stopped midway through the 8th week. I was in shock, even though I had weird feelings about the pregnancy. The mistake was letting the doc take me in for a D&C right away before I processed it. I hope everything is fine with you, but regardless, don't make quick decisions and give yourself time to think along the way.

[peach06]

Today is January 4th.  On December 10th I went in for a normal ultrasound (really to see if there were twins cuz I am one so Dr just wanted to check), that day we found out that our baby had died at 9 wks i was going on 12. It was the biggest shock ever my husband and I wanted that baby so bad. I had to have a d n c on December 14 my body had no sign of a miscarriage so I thought i best.  I still have not got my period. I wish this upon noone. It is so hard and I think about it every day. Good luck to you all out there going through the same or similar.  And another hard thing 4 of my friends are pregnant too all due within weeks or a month of when mine was to be due!
Goodluck!
peach06

[ariel2]

I also found out this past December that my baby had been dead two weeks.  I was going on 11 weeks and found out that he/she had died at eight weeks.  That made the holidays kind of sad, but it's good to know that I'm not the only one going through this.
God bless!

[nickie76]

I went for the 12 weeks, first time check up on Monday, January 28th.  No heart beat, so they did an ultrasound.  No baby.  The next day I had a formal ultrasound and there was a baby, but it was only 6 weeks old.  I still feel the same as I have throughout the pregnancy.  We told everyone last week. So, that has been hard to call family and tell them.  I am having a D&C tomorrow.  The lady that took my blood today asked if I had any kids.  This is really hard.

[AshleySF]

Nickie, I'm with you. I had a D&C on Tuesday following an ultrasound last Friday showing a missed miscarriage.  I thought I was 13 weeks, but the baby measured only 9, and had no heartbeat Weird thing was, at my last ultrasound, I thought I was 10 weeks but the baby measured 8 1/2 weeks and had a strong heartbeat. The doctor said on Friday that was a sign that things weren't developing properly, but still.  I've been so racked with anxiety. So scared this will happen again and again.  Thinking of reasons it happened - I had cervical cancer last year, had a cold knife cone - is that why? Bad strain of HPV that caused the cancer cause the miscarriage? Who knows?? I know that I haven't had much peace at all, though I'm accepting the miscarriage for what it is.  My hormones may be going haywire.  I'm just so scared.  

[gl08]

Thanks to all for posting your missed miscarriage stories. It helps to know that there are other women going through the same thing. I just had my first ultrasound this morning. The baby had no heartbeat and stopped developing at 8 weeks (I was in my 13th week). I am heartbroken. I have an appointment with my Dr. tomorrow and I imagine I will have to have a D&C soon after. It's a shock, as I still feel very much pregnant (fatigue, nausea, etc.) Again, thanks for sharing. All the best to you all.

[twokids19]

I am sooo sorry for your loss...I had a miscarrige @ 11 weeks.  I know what your going thru & I feel for you.  I now have 2 beautiful heathly children.  All the best to you & yours.

[gl08]

Thank you. Hearing the positive stories after miscarriages is what is getting me through. Thanks again.

[lin123]

sorry for all of you.  I found out Friday at my second ultrasound 10weeks that there was no heart beat.  I have to say I just knew something was wrong the day before but was still shocked.  I'm going to have D&C on Thursday was going to try and wait it out but it could take weeks and may still need one in the end.  I have cried everyday.  I know we all need to be strong and try again if this is something we really want I guess loss is just part of the process and we can't give up on ourselves.  Love to all of you

[sadmommy28]

First, I am sorry to hear of your losses & I am one of you as well.  I found out today at 10wks. 4-5days upon ultrasound that my baby didn't have a heartbeat.  It had stopped growing around 9wks.  This is my 3rd miscarriage so to speak.  My first baby had Turner's Syndrome & I was told was going to pass away within 3wks. so they  took her from me, she was about 5mos.  It was a very difficult time.  I got pregnant 4mos. later & miscarried really early on.  About 9 years later I have my son who was a perfectly normal pregnancy in every way & he is very healthy.  His pregnancy had no complications at all and he was born at 9lbs. 9oz. !   His little smile is my light on this dark day.  He is helping me so much just knowing I have him & am so lucky in that way.  My husband and I are devastated & sad.  I go to see the doc tomorrow (which at this hr. is actually today) to discuss my options.  I am torn on what to do after reading your stories.  Should I wait  or have the D&C?  I don't know if I can handle the wait.  Is that perhaps safer or does it matter?  

Thanks so much to all for sharing your stories, I feel much better knowing that we are not alone in this and that many women have successfully conceived again afterwards.  I can only hope my story will help others as your stories have helped me!  =)

[sadmommy28]

I forgot to mention that for me, I kinda had suspicion of the miscarriage.  I had bad nausea without vomiting for about 2-3wks. then suddenly about 1 & 1/2 wks. ago it was gone.  I thought that strange because with my son it had kinda tapered down slowly.  I'm sorry to double post, I just hope I am being helpful with my info. to others.

[darlaslade]

First of all, I am one of you as well and am very sorry for what what you all are going through, it is very difficult.  I was 16 wks and 5 days and went in for normal check up and they couldn't locate the heartbeat, then went for sonogram.  Sono confirmed a missed miscarriage, and the baby measured at 14 weeks.  I had no symptoms of miscarriage at all, except I thought that I hadn't felt the baby move in a couple weeks.  I know it was still early, but the movement I was feeling was confirmed by a sonogram on Jan2 at 12 weeks, and everything was fine.  My doctor didn't give me an option and said we needed the D&C, but he would not let me make the decision as to when, until after a day or so.  I could have opted to do it the next day (a friday), but I was an emotional wreck and couldn't deal with it.  But after a day or so, with my husbands support, we decided to do it the following Monday.  For me, it was very difficult knowing that I was still carrying my child and it was not living.  I felt like I was holding him back from moving on to where he needed to go, and I wanted to begin the healing process for myself.  I had the D&C exactly 2 weeks ago, and I am still grieving, but I am not an emotional wreck like I was before I had the procedure.  My doctor has been great, he automatically called me in an RX for an anti-depressant and Xanax so that I could relax and get some rest.  We are also prone to post-partum depression as if we had carried full term, as the sudden change in hormones can cause it.  I have my moments, my good days and bad days, but for me, the decision to move on to the D&C quickly was helpful in the "closure" part of the grieving process.  I felt some peace afterwards, I named my baby (which also helped me), and now I am taking it one day at a time.  I am curious though and I have read different things, how long after a D&C are you suppose to bleed?  I thought they told me a few days, then maybe a few weeks, but have read stories of months.  I am at the 2 week post procedure mark, and still bleeding.  It has never been heavy, but nonetheless, still bleeding at 2 weeks. Anyone have any idea or experiences they want to share on that?

[gl08]

I am so sorry for your loss.

I just recently spoke to my gynecologist about that and she said it was normal to bleed for up to 1 month after a D&C. I had a D&C 2 1/2 weeks ago and am still bleeding. She said that the bleeding should gradually lessen and as long as it is not heavy, it should be normal. However, if you start to throw up, you should be seen by your Doctor. I hope this helps. I am anxious for the bleeding to stop and to start feeling normal, at least physically. Good luck and all the best.

[milora]

Im so sad to read all these stories, but its helpful to know you are not alone. I had a missed miscarriage in August. I went for my ultrasound at 8 weeks and was told my baby had died at 6w 3d. I went into complete shock. I have a beautiful 2 year old daughter and had a totally normal pregnancy with her. I am now pregnant again - 12 weeks today - and had an ultrasound at 8w 3d which showed a good sized fetus with a strong heartbeat, even so, Im plagued with fear that I will have another missed miscarriage. Losing a pregnancy is bad enough, but the shock of thinking everything is OK and then suddenly getting the worst news, was unbearable. I am going to the doctor on Thursday for my 12 week check-up and he is supposed to check the heartbeat with the doppler. Im terrified. I havent noticed any belly growth at all and cant feel my uterus yet, so Im just imagining the worst.

[redhott]

i really hope everything goes fine , and believe me have faith in god and everything will be fine,. i had a misscarrige at 8 wks i was sopposed to be 12, i had a d&c done on the 30 of nov, and somehow people keep saying that i might not be able to get pregnant again, but i don't listen to them because i know that it will happen one day and it will go through a normal pregnancy., well god bless you

[redhott]

i really hope everything goes fine , and believe me have faith in god and everything will be fine,. i had a misscarrige at 8 wks i was sopposed to be 12, i had a d&c done on the 30 of nov, and somehow people keep saying that i might not be able to get pregnant again, but i don't listen to them because i know that it will happen one day and it will go through a normal pregnancy., well god bless you

[redhott]

i really hope everything goes fine , and believe me have faith in god and everything will be fine,. i had a misscarrige at 8 wks i was sopposed to be 12, i had a d&c done on the 30 of nov, and somehow people keep saying that i might not be able to get pregnant again, but i don't listen to them because i know that it will happen one day and it will go through a normal pregnancy., well god bless you

[redhott]

i really hope everything goes fine , and believe me have faith in god and everything will be fine,. i had a misscarrige at 8 wks i was sopposed to be 12, i had a d&c done on the 30 of nov, and somehow people keep saying that i might not be able to get pregnant again, but i don't listen to them because i know that it will happen one day and it will go through a normal pregnancy., well god bless you

[redhott]

i really hope everything goes fine , and believe me have faith in god and everything will be fine,. i had a misscarrige at 8 wks i was sopposed to be 12, i had a d&c done on the 30 of nov, and somehow people keep saying that i might not be able to get pregnant again, but i don't listen to them because i know that it will happen one day and it will go through a normal pregnancy., well god bless you

[milora]

Thank you so much. I went to the doctor today for my 12w check up and the baby is doing well. Im so relieved and happy. I prayed so much for this. I pray that it will happen for you soon too and for all the ladies here who have suffered the same loss. I wish you all the best.

[angie2009]

I had an u/s at 7 weeks and found it wasn't a viable pregnancy after a normal u/s at 5 weeks. It's now been 5 weeks since I found out and I'm still waiting for the tissue to pass. I've tried the cytotec medication but I still have about half the tissue that hasn't passed yet. Did anyone else have to wait this long for the m/s to pass naturally? I would rather not have a D&C but I don't know if I can wait much longer.

[meltastelikeicecream]

I just found out 2 days ago that I had, had a missed miscarriage. When I was 6 weeks 5 days into my pregnancy I had a sono done and there was a baby there. it wiggled around a little bit and it had a heart beat. Well I went to my 2nd doctors appt. the other day and she could not find the heart beat. She sent me to go get a sono and needless to say it was a empty. I was supposed to be 14 weeks 2day and. The baby had died around my 10th and 11th week. I have another doctors appt. on This monday coming up. I probably will have a d and c done if my body does not finish what it started. I really want to pass the sac naturally. I feel that my body did it so it should end it. I am so sorry for whoever else is going through this. I really do feel your pain. This is the most horrible this I have every encountered.

[heatherlynn22]

does anyone know how often missed miscarriages are? the ratio of missed compared to actually knowing you're having one? i'm so paranoid about my twins. my mother had 2 miscarriages, my grandmother had 2 that we know of and my great grandmother had 1 or 2...is it genetic? or is it just something that happens? these are my first two and i've been so super careful as to not do anything to hurt them or stress out my body so that they're ok but i've been having on and off again cramping for the entire pregnancy...and i know some cramping is normal but i don't know how much is. i've also started loosing some pregnancy symptoms...which i hope is normal for being near the end of my 1st trimester. my appointment isn't for another 2 weeks (due to scheduling conflicts it's the earliest i can get in) it'll be gestational age shy of 3 months....but according to my lmp just over 3 months.

[lisaywg]

My thoughts are with all of you who have had a missed miscarriage.  I had one on Nov 5 at 12 1/2 weeks.  I'm not sure when the baby died, but the ER doctor told me that I didn't look like I was 12 weeks along.  I had symptoms, including nausea, right up until the end.  I had no idea anything was wrong until I started getting the most painful cramping I've ever had in my life (apparently I was in labor?).  Now I just found out that I'm pregnant again (almost 5 weeks) and am absolutely terrified that the same thing is going to happen again.  I'm going to ask my doctor for an ultrasound right away.  If this isn't a viable pregnancy, I'd rather find out sooner than later.

[Kathy4hope]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and everyone else that has gone though this too.  It is the most painful emotionally and (in my case also) physically thing to go through. I would never wish this upon anyone.  I understand completely what you are now going through. I too had a m/c with pain at 8wks went to the ER had u/s everything was fine with the baby.  They sent me home in all that pain.  eventually the pain broke early next morning.  Went for another u/s at 11 wks.  Baby had pasted 2 wks prior.  How heart wrenching:(  Now I 'm 8wks.    Having thoughts like Is it going to happen again? when?  Evaluating every symptom etc.  This past wk i've been really sick with the flu like symptoms.  2 days ago I lost all symptoms totally. Freaking.  Call the Dr.  got an appt. had an u/s yesterday everything is still good.  Thank God! :)  I'm trying to keep my head and chin up.  Hoping for the best.  Taking it day by day.  Trying not to Worry It's not going to help things. Good luck to you too.  Keep yourself healthy and positive.  

[teachermom43]

I had an ultrasound on March 4, and found out that my baby had died around 9 weeks.  I really don't want a D&C, so I am trying to wait it out.  My doctor said another option was cytotec.  I'm not thrilled about that either.  How long can I wait?  Has anyone else used Cytotec?  My boyfriend is having a really tough time with this as well.  Any suggestions as to where he can go for support?

[Nikki850]

I was supposed to be 10 weeks & went for a scan last friday (7th march)  I had a slight brown discharge but no pain. We were told that our baby had died at 7 weeks. It was totally disbelief, we had to wait hrs to see a doctor to discuss our options & had a d&c on Sat morning. I couldnt bare the thought of waiting to miscarry naturally, they said it could take upto 2 weeks, I felt so scared & alone. I know it was the best decision for me but Im now struggling with emotion of all. I feel alone & empty & although I have the most supportive Husband in the world I just feel empty. We really want to try for another baby when i am healed but I am soo scared of how I am going to feel next time. My heart goes out to everyone that has experienced this, It is one of hardest things i have ever had to deal with.x

[MAYBEPREGNANT]

I had an ultrasound when I was (what I thought) 7 weeks pregnant, but the tech could only see a "yolk sack", so they said that I was probably only about 5 weeks along.  I had another U/S, 2 weeks later and there was no baby, just an "empty space".  The doc said that the yolk sack was probably just absorbed and that I would either miscarry on my own, they would induce the miscarriage with medication, or I could have a D & C.  I opted to wait and miscarry on my own.  That last appointment was over 4 weeks ago, and I still have no signs of miscarriage and my uterus continues to grow.  I am beginning to doubt the ultrasound.  Has anyone had this happen?  How long will it take for my body to stop growing and a miscarriage to take place???  Anyone have any answers???

[frustratedandfedup]

I went in for an ultrasound at what was supposed to be 9w1d and they said it looked more like 5 to 6weeks so the sent me some where else for another ultra sound the next day which was thursday and was told that the results should have been done by the next day friday. they were not so ended up waiting to find out anything till the tuesday at that point they didn't tell me anything thing different except that maybe the dates were off soo had to go in for another ultra soung 2w2d later to find out that there was still no heart beat the sac was getting smaller and becoming abnormal and told me i should m/c and set up a follow up appointmentin 2 weeks. does anyone one know how long is safe enough to wait for it happen on its own? I should be about 12 weeks now and the aby stopped at about 5 to 6 and the want me to wait 2 more. anyone know if 8 weeks or possibly longer is not safe?

[xsxm008]

I am sorry for what you all are going through, when the doctor told me that I was 10wks along but the baby died at 8wks and that it could take up to 2 to 6 weeks to misscarry naturally I chose the D & C that very day.  I just couldn't imagine holding onto that feeling any longer, my joy and happiness was crushed.

You should do what you feel in heart is natural and the best for your peace of mind, believe me it doesn't get easier afterwards.  I am sorry to say, I am in a world of hurt.
Don't want to have anything to do with anyone and my boyfriend has such a feeling of helplessness because he can't help me.  In time that what I keep hearing I will heal...

Now I am waiting for my body to go back to normal but it is a mess, I have the worst headaches I have ever had in my life and it is making me nausous.  I don't want to do anything let alone take a shower, thank goodness I can work from home!

We have decided to try again, and I am waiting to get my period and for the doctor to tell me I can have sex again.  And my greatest fear is that I will end up having to go through this all over again....  Very sad.

[ces03k]

I went Monday for my checkup at 12w5d, but they couldn't find a heartbeat with the doppler they sent me for an u/s. I saw that there were two sacks and two embryos, so I knew it was twins, but they were only measuring 7w4d, and we couldn't find either heartbeat. So if that's correct I've been carrying them now for 5w4d past the time they stopped developing. My doctor gave me the three options of waiting, meds or d&c. I thought I'd wait it out and let it happen naturally, but I can't find out how long I might have to wait. What's the longest anyone has waited? My body hasn't gotten the memo yet, so I still have all my pregnancy symptoms. This is honestly one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through. I think it would be easier if I'd just miscarried in the middle of the night 5 weeks ago. It's not fair that we have to make a decision about how to end our pregnancies.
I'm not sure about the meds or the d&c because my dr. said with the meds I could have to go through 3 or 4 rounds and that it would be extra painful and extra tissue because it's twins. But if I do a d&c there's the possibility of scar tissue and screwing up future pregnancies. I just wish my body would take care of this on its own. I wonder what causes your body to be in denial?

[MAYBEPREGNANT]

So sorry to hear of your heartaches!  I am crying with you all!
I posted on March 19th...I was waiting to miscarry...I had been told that my baby never really developed beyond a yolk sack, and it had been 9 weeks and counting since then...I wanted to have a natural miscarriage because I have had 4 previous D&Cs and, like "ces03k", was in fear of more scar tissue.  Well, since it had been so long, I had doubts that the ultrasound was right...but, unfortunately, my miscarriage happened.  I started bleeding on Tuesday, then on Wednesday morning, very heavy bleeding and severe cramps (felt like I was in labor!) started.  I am sorry for those of you who may be offended or grossed out by the following...I was bleeding so heavy that I was unable to get off my toilet because it was streaming out like I was peeing, and I was passing clots that were larger then my fist!  After about 2 hours, I was passing out, and I thought I was going to die!  Thank God that my husband was home, because he was able to drive me to the ER, blood soaked clothes and all...I was unconscience by the time we reached the hospital.  They had to do an emergency D&C to stop the bleeding.  I lost over 1/2 of my body's volume of blood and I was given 4 units of blood, just to bring my blood pressure to a safe level and so that I was not passing out all the time.  I was in the hospital for 2 days, but I am home now and still very anemic, but glad to be alive!  Even with all that I "passed" at home, the entire sack and placenta was still inside of me; it was "stuck"...I would have died trying to miscarry at home.  I know that there are many women out there who miscarry and are able to do it at home with no assisstance, but I strongly urge you to make sure that you have some one you can call when you start to experience your miscarriage, just in case it gets out of control.  I wanted to experience my miscarriage alone, so that I could mourn my loss, and work through the pain and sorrow; but if my husband were not at home, it could have been my end.  This is just my advice because of my experience.  My prayers are with you all!

[stevensgurl24]

I kept my symptoms until the hormon left my body about a month later dont worry your fine just take care of yourself and im very sorry for your loss I lost my first baby a little over a month ago

[ces03k]

Thanks for the advice. I went for a second ultrasound yesterday and saw the babies had shrunk, so I'm trying to get in for a d&c today. Sorry to hear about all you went through, as if it's not emotionally traumatic enough! That's just absolutely horrible, and no one should have to go through it. I hope everything goes okay today. My dr. was very reassuring yesterday about the d&c. He seems to be very experienced, so I think I'll be okay. Good luck with everything in the future, and thanks again!

[ces03k]

I went in for my D&C Tuesday and thank goodness I took that route. I lost so much blood I almost had to have a transfusion. And that was under a controlled situation with a surgeon. My dr. said I would have had to come to the e.r. anyway had I tried to have the miscarriage at home. The worst part about the d&c was coming out of the anesthesia. And I'm still weak from losing all that  blood. But at least now it's over and I can move on. I don't have the torture of waiting for a miscarriage anymore. Thanks for the prayers and advice. Good luck to everyone.

[dayne07]

I am with all of you in this forum. I found out yesterday that my baby has no heartbeat and stopped growing at 8 weeks, supposed to be 10 weeks 2days. I am going in for the d&c tommorow. My heart goes out to all you and I know that we will all go on to have a baby one day. Don't lose hope.

[daniella2401]

Hi Ladies I feel very bad for all your miscarriages.I found out on April 2nd.On monday I went to my doctor to listen to the heart when i was beginning 13 weeks.there was no heart so i went to an ultrasound.my baby was dead after 7 1/2 weeks.this was my first pregnancy so i was done.They gave me the 3 choices waiting. medication or D&C.i read that when you do the D&C the chances to get pregnant again might be less so i decided to take the medication.i took it on wednesday and had to bring whatever came out to the hospital.i had to catch it with my hand out of a special toilet seat and bring it there.i was thinking that was it.because my bleeding and my cramps where very bad i asked them to do another ultrasound.so i had an u/s on wednesday 1 week after.the baby was still the same size.so i made the decision to go for the d&C on friday.i had contractions on thursday for an hour and friday morning starting 5.30am.so i went to the emergency.it took them till 12pm till i had surgery.they gave me morpheum,but my contractions staid.i think this was the worst thing in my life.now i was bleeding then it was gone , went back to work started bad again.i asked my doctor and she told me to stay home in bed for i couple days.had no bleeding today.i just hope to get pregnant as soon as possible again.since i lost my baby i now even more that this is my biggest wish.do you girls think one or two days without bledding is enough to wait before intercourse or how long did you wait before.also don't know from what day to count my ovulation.from the day of med or D&C.Hope you have any advice for me.i just want a baby so bad.

[lindsey24]

hi i know exactly how u feel i have just lost 2nd baby i would wait a few days for intercourse and a couple o weeks at least to try again or after next period its hard but u will have a baby i want one really bad too just its not happening for me but my sister in law has had 4 m/c but is due her baby anyday that gives hope for me just take it easy and next time dont worry

[daniella2401]

I did not wait.it was 8 days after my dnc yesterday and i went to my family doctor and he gave me his ok, so i had intercourse.he told me i could bleed.i just don't now how heavy he meant.i had clots coming out this morning.i also had to trough up after i took prenatal vitamins.i started them today.do you guys think i was still not healed?and could it be that i feel sick this morning because i had intercourse or because of the prenatals?

To Lindsay24:I'm very sorry to hear about your two losses.Thank you for your advice.i guess everybody is differnt.i just felt i need to be close to my husband.i hope everything goes fine and god will bless you and me and everybody here who wants to have a baby with it.good luck.


I hope anybody has an advice for me.

[phuzbo]

i am sorry for everyones lost! I have been through some of what you guys are going through! I wanted to share my story in hopes that anyone going through the same sit. wont make the mistakes I almost did! i found out April of 2006 I was pregnant, my son was only 9 months old and after about 5 weeks with this pregnancy I felt that somthing was wrong! I went to the ER and after ultrasound they said it was an empty sac,after a few more days i had another ultrasound and was told there was no hope it was an empty sac!I could not seem to understand and instead of getting the reqiured dnc,I chose to let nature take it course!After i was to be 9 weeks and nothing happened my doc decieded to run some hormone tests to see if the level was dropping! It wasnt dropping but it was not increasinig like it should have been,if I were pregnant.After i was to be 12 weeks and nothing was still going on,my doc decieded on one more ultrasound before a dnc! So there I was just wanting this to be over with,it was horrible emotionally! i get the ultasound at the hospital and the tech says look at that baby jumping everywhere!I almost fell off the table! I was pregnant!!! Somehow
my body showed signs of pregnancy 10 days earlier than it should have!The ultrasounds just seen a sac because my uterus was tilted and the due date was pushed up 10 days!I am glad I did not get the dnc they wanted to give me at 5 weeks or I would not be looking at my darling daughter sleeping tonight! To all... if they do not see the baby when doing the ultrasound DO NOT GET A DNC!!!!!!!

[daniella2401]

i'm so sorry to hear about your story.but i ended good for you in the end.when i was beginn of 13. week the couldn't find the heartbeat and when i went for the ultrasound they said the baby died with 7 1/2. weeks.they just saw an empty sack.i hope i did not kill the baby?do you think i might have?i did the med first,did not work and then a dnc 2 weeks ago.i'm already trying again.hope it works.and it doesn't  take long.i hope i don't have to survive this again.i'm looking for a new job as well.because i told everybody about the pregnancy so that it really hurts to go to work now.do you know if you can get fired when you get pregnant in the beginning when you started your job?  

[phuzbo]

You did not kill your baby!Do not even think that!!!I am sorry about your story and for the pain you must be going through!When the time is right it will happen for you!I was told in my teen years that there was a small possibilty of getting pregnant without meds.!I got pregnant with my son at 24 and my daughter at 25!!!Keep trying and having Faith it will happen and the baby will be fine! You can not get fired from a job for being pregnant! You should not have to leave the job your at,I know its hard but most coworkers should be understanding of your tramitic event!On a advice tip,listen to your docs,most say wait a couple months before tring agian! My sister had a misscarige and got pregnant right away and her daughter was born on the due date of the misscarried baby! 3 months early!!!She is 3 now and fine but it was super scary in the beganing(she was born at 2lbs4ozs)!

[daniella2401]

thank you very much for your advice.I trying to stop thinking about getting pregnant every day.It seems that my boyfriend feels under pressure if i talk about it too often.I quit smoking 3 days ago, so that when I get pregnant i will not harm the baby.I guess I will still try to get anew job.This work is just to much stress and the noise and the bad smell there might not be good for the baby either.I'm in contact to  a lawyer.I just hope I get the job.Oh and I asked my family doctor who is an obstetrition as well he said it's fine.So I guess I just trust him.We will see what happens.I'm praying to god now, what I haven't done for years.That really gives me hope and strength.Wish me luck.

Best wishes for you.

[mignonne]

i found this site this morning as i sat looking for some group i can talk with. I am at home sitting and waiting for my miscarriage to take its natural course. I thought i was 11 wks pregnant but when i went to the doctor on Monday he could not find i heartbeat... he said i lost the baby and so  i am home waiting for the miscarriage to take its natural course. It is very difficult to deal with and i have not stop crying since Monday... the worst part of this is that this is my second miscarriage and now i am really concern that i may not be able to have children. if there is anyone out there who has had several miscarriage and successfully become pregnant i could really do with  some words of encouragement and hope from you.

[colbymomma]

I am a mommy of a sweet two year old-that it took us 8 years to get.     A little over a month ago I had taken 2 at home tests that confirmed that we were expecting.  We were excited about expecting again n told every one. We sent out cute emails to every one and even told our two year old son.
I called to go in to the dr for a regular appt but they could not see me for a month.  We thought we were about 2 or 3 months along.  I started spotting brown spots and called and got in right away. My Dr did a sono and there was a very strong heart beat, but there was also a pool of blood in the uterus that was of concern.  I had a feeling that there was something wrong and started feeling like I was not real excited about this baby. Especially after the doctor did not give us a due date.  This was odd to me. She had us come back a week later and we saw that the baby had grown, it had it little hands and feet that were forming, but there was no heart beat this time. I felt like the dr kind of knew that there was a problem in the beggining. She had me come back 2 days later (this past thursday) and the sono showed that the baby still had no heart beat and was smaller. The Dr told us we had a missed miscarriage and that my body still thought it was pregnant even though the baby had passed away. She gave us the option to let God take care of it by letting my body pass the baby, which she felt would give us more closure, or to do a D&C.  I do not want the D&C, and my husband feels that it is the last resort.  
The waiting is hard, but the more I read about the D&C the more I see that women regret it or that it is extremely stressful on their bodies. With the difficulty we have had in getting pregnant I do not want to cause more scar tissue or problems for my self.  
I have decided not get too far away from home.  I don't think I could handle a miscarriage in a public place.  I just don't know how long it is going to take. I cant find any research that says how much time to expect. We have to go back on Wednesday of next week to the doctor. We will see what happens.
I don't like having to tell every one. It's like some of them think I did something wrong.

[colbymomma]

I did not mean that I did not want this baby when I wrote "I had a feeling that there was something wrong and started feeling like I was not real excited about this baby." I just had a bad feeling.  I prayed that God would help me to be happy about this little one, but the bad feeling I had was just very strong.  I guess I knew that some thing was going to happen, and I just didn't realize it.

[lillyr]

I went in on the 5th for our 18 week check up and u/s and found out our baby died at 14 weeks.  My doctor also gave us the different options and we chose the natural way.  We went back on that friday and he said my cervix was still hard and nothing should change for a while.  So I was supposed to go in the hospital the following wed. to take the medication to pass the baby.  That saturday at 1am I had the baby at home.  It happened within two hours and there was no bleeding so we werent sure what to do.  I saw my doctor the next monday (2 days later) and he was amazed that my cervix and uterus were already back to normal.  With in an hour after delivering I felt physcally fine.  I was bleeding like a regular period for the first week and this week I havent bled hardly at all.  I know it sucks to go thro it but I wouldnt change the way my body handled it.  This was our first pregnancy after trying for 2 years.  I know it sucks hearing not to give up and try again but we have come to accept God does everything for a reason and hopefully he will bless us soon with a baby.

Good Luck and sorry for your loss

[LL95]

I am 46 years old and had a missed miscarriage 3 months ago when I was 10.5 weeks.  The baby had had a slow heartbeat at an earlier US and I had just 'known' something was not right.  Personally, I would recommend a D&C as I had heard that you can get pregnant quicker after having one.  I got pregnant again pretty well straight away and am now 6 weeks but I don't have much in the way of symptoms and I don't know whether I have just convinced myself that the same thing has happened again or whether it really has.  I don't think I can go through another US where the sonographer looks at the screen and says there is no heartbeat.  I just can't.

[juliet9221]

Can anyone relate to this?  I'm 39 and have tried for many years to have a baby.  After several attempts of IVF with ICSI (because of anti-sperm anti-bodies) I became pregnant 2 x, but missed mc @ 10 weeks.  I am now with a new partner.  Last year I fell pregnant, but it was blighted ovum.  I am now pregnant again,but at 9 wk scan this week, again there was no heartbeat, I had seen healthy one at 7 weeks.  So this is my 4th miscarriage.  I don't think I can face being pregnant again and going for a scan only to hear there is no heartbeat again.  Has anyone been through all this and then had a healthy pregnancy??  In each case I always 'knew' something was wrong and it always feels like my hormones are just dwindling as the symptoms gradually reduce.  I wonder how much stress is affecting each pregnancy.

[lisa2341]

hi all its amazing how many people are going through this i had a missed mc on the 25th may  two weeks ago tomorrow and it was awful  i stopped bleeding 2 days ago i had a compleat mc i was 14 weeks and my baby died at 8 . 2 weeks ago i was a compleat wreak but 2 weeks on i do feel ok i have my bad days but who wouldnt . i had my scan last week and was told i had a little tissue left in me and that has to be passed before my levels drop and the next day my body did what it had to and passed it i was also told that there is no reason for me not to try again after my first period but i have to be sure im in the right frame of mind ,and deep down the more i think about it the more i want a baby nothing will ever take away the pain i went through and i would never wish it on anyone but let me tell you everyday does become that little bit better , all i have to do now is wait until the 12th june to take a ptest and hopefully it will be negative and my hg levels will be below 5 and i can have end  to the most sadest part of my life and move forward my fingers are crossed girls we can do this we have all been through it your not alone we gotta move forward together we can do it we have too love to you all lisa xxxxxx im gonna post on here till i get my bundle of joy so people can read the outcome of something that there going through just to give them hope because all i would love to see is someone who has a story and who has gone on again maybe if i keep looking i will find someone who can share there loss and have a happy ending too it just keeps you positive xxx

[mj_mommy_manda]

I have had 3 miscarriages in a row.  1st was a missed m/c I went in for my 12 week u/s and no heartbeat.  It was really hard for me.  I remember bawling in the car telling my boyfriend I would never be happy again.  But since then I have had 2 more m/cs.  One I had a d&c but they both were natural onset.  Now I am 19 weeks pregnant and everything so far has checked out healthy.  The ironic thing about my pregnancy is that my doctor told me I would never have a healthy pregnancy without IVF.  To everyone going through miscarriages, stay strong.  Everything happens for a reason and sometimes you dont see why until later.  You are all in my thoughts.

[lisa2341]

i did my test today for the hospital and my results came back negative i now have a smile cus i know my hg  levels have dropped and all i can do now is wait for af , i did not require a dc so im not sure when i will get af but i will keep you all updated but im going to go with the doctors and try again after my first af i do have an attitude now though and i feel that what will happen will happen and if it does its for a reason and you should never punish yourself ever , i know the baby i have just lost will never get replaced i also know that my baby has loads of friends in heaven im guessing they are all together in there own little world ........ also every pregnancy is differant so dont go on thinking that the next one will be the same this gave me a little hope by the nurse i hope it does you too take care will be back with my updates soon love lisa xxxx

[kikayinla]

i have been reading all the sad stories..

i, too had a miscarriage or in the process of miscarrying.  i was in the ER last saturday  and my my level is dropping.    i had a doctor's  appointment yesterday and my level is really dropping.  the doctor said to let the tissue pass naturally without D&C.   i have been bleeding since monday and he said it will last for 7 -10 days.  yup, it is  sad but we have to move on.  

[lisa2341]

i just want to give you all an update i hope it gives you something to go by my mc was  25th may and  the 13th june today im ovulating i have lots of clear stretchy mucus and was a little worried because there was loads i went to the doctor and he comfirmed i was ovulating so this is another step for me now i just have to be very careful because he told me i can get pregnant now and i do need to wait for my af so hopefully i should get that in about 14 days im not sure lol will keep you updated like i said i would take care everyday is a step closer to feeling that little bit better and everytime you cross a hurdle like i have it gives you that little smile love lisa xxxxx

[addysmom]

Hi guys....I just wanted to take a chance to give some of you a little hope.

I am 23 years old and by the age of 20 I had already suffered from 3 miscarriages.  All of them missed.  My first miscarriage at 14 weeks, I decided to go the natural route...and after a month of waiting, I too ended up in the hospital due to blood loss.  My next two miscarriages were at 9 weeks.  I decided to go the route of the D&C on both of these...and although it was HORRIBLE pain, I do not regret my decision.  I had really hard time dealing with the waiting.  Well, at 22, my husband and I discovered that we were pregnant AGAIN!  

I was on bedrest the entire 9 months due to a sub ca uterine hemorrhage...and was also on progesterone until I hit 11 weeks.  However, despite how stressful, uncomfortable, painful, etc the pregnancy was....the labor was a breeze and I now have a beautiful 11 month old little girl!

I had given up hope....I have had doctors tell me since I was 15 that I would most likely NEVER be able to carry a child to term due to some uterine abnomalities....

There is HOPE!  :)

[lisa2341]

i just want to add that its been 3 weeks since my mc and i thought i would try and have you know what  again lol as i thought 3 weeks would be ok but after we had done i had very heavy bleeding and passed more clots of blood i rang the hospital and they said its really common the first time you try and you may feel your tummy is having contractions and the bleeding may be heavy mine was i was so scared my insides were just dropping out me lol i got up today and the bleeding has slowed down but i need to go shopping and im scared incase i just bleed really heavy in the super market this is how all this makes you feel its so so horrible what us ladies have to go through i thought i was doing so well too maybe a bit too well hey but im still going to be strong even though i feel like crying xxx also to the lady above well done if you can do it then im sure we will all be fine too love lisa xx

[addysmom]

I thought I would post again, and also say....it is completely normal and appropriate to mourn the loss of your little one.  As women we most often find ourselves connected on a much deeper level to our unborn child...and to lose that is very much similar to losing a baby, toddler, or adult child.  

Allow yourself to cry, be angry, and to go through all the same grieving process that you go through to mourn the death of a loved one.  I found that once I allowed myself to mourn my 3 precious angels...it was THEN that I could truly begin to live fully again!

Good luck to ALL of you....

[fairychar]

Hello, im really sorry for everyone who this has happened to. Yesterday I went for my first 12 week scan and they told me the baby had stopped growing at 6-7 weeks. I think i knew deep down in my heart as most of my symptoms disappeared around then; nausea stopped, breasts didnt really get much bigger but i did start to get a little bump. I kept wondering if there was anything in there as i felt so normal. but about 4 days ago i had a terrible migraine and slight bleeding like the end of a period and mild cramps. I was able to go to another hospital where they told me my options and i chose to have tablets that induce a miscarriage, i have to put the pessaries in tomorrow and then it should start. i wanted to be in the privacy of my own home. my husband and i are devastated as we had placed so many hopes and dreams into the last 3 months. But i truly believe that things do happen for a reason, the doctors said its natures way of being kind and i know that when the time is right the little soul will come back to us! its hard as quite a few people knew i was pregnant and its hard telling people. i have moments of feeling really rational about it and other moments of feeling like my heart has been ripped out, Be strong and talk to your friends and partner and at least next time you get pregnant, you will know the right foods to eat, how to look after yourself etc most importantly dont blame yourself, i did and im slowly getting my head round the idea that there wasnt anything that could have stopped it...much love to all you ladies that have gone and are going through this, may you find peace in your hearts.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[fairychar]

hello again..i have nearly finished the induced miscarriage by tablets, my advice to anyone wanting to do it this way to is to have surgery. i underestimated how painful it would be, i was in 'labour' for 18hrs and was the most painful experience of my life. im still having contractions now (alot milder) but i guess its my womb just shrinking back to size. all in all it was a very frightening experience. the good thing it that it has given me time mentally and emotionally to come to terms with things, my husband has been fantastic and it was very distressing for him to see me in so much pain so i think we are both glad to have it over and done with and we can get back to our normal lives. im sure we will have kids one day but after yesterday i dont know if i could handle it.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[lisa2341]

hope you are ok i just wanted to cry when i read yours because it brings back the pain seems like only yesterday it happened for me but its 4 weeks on sunday time goes by so fast , i had a bad day today because i sat at home and i did cry i felt really down everything i look at is baby baby baby and thats so hard , but i did feel better after a cry though it does help i think its good every now and then . if you want to talk im always nipping on here if it makes u feel better my husband has been amazing too i think we are lucky to have them well you rest and taake care lisa xx

[kelly_]

I found out on Tuesday at my 11 week check-up that my baby's heart stopped beating and measured 7 weeks.  It's so hard to understand.  I had a little spotting at 6 1/2 weeks so they did an ultrasound at 7 weeks.  My husband and I saw and heard the little heartbeat.  We saw the tiny line of the body and saw the heart flicker.  The doctor told us everything looked perfect.  It's hard to believe that somewhere in that same week that we heard the heartbeat my baby died.  I called today to schedule the D&C.  I'm ready to try to put some closure to this.  I'm scared to death that if I get pregnant again the same thing will happen.  I carried my baby for 4 weeks thinking everything was fine, how could I ever feel that secure in any pregnancy again.  I have a lot of questions for my doctor when we go in for the procedure so hopefully he can give me some peace of mind.  Thanks for everyone sharing their stories on here.  It really does help knowing i'm not alone.
Kelly_

[raray]

I had a m/c on january 08, am now trying to conceive. But what is D&C and how should your doctor or yoiu should know should have had one done. I had this m/c about 5months ago and since may have been ttc but no luck and my period are out of wack and am not ovulating correctly. Any response would help tank you and goodluck and lots of babydust to those ttc.

[shan161]

i just want to start by saying how much i feel for all you ladies, i've been ther myself last year i had 4 miscarriages each as devastating as the last, i hated myself and thought i would never have another baby, this year on the 29th of jan i gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, strong, healthy and fantastic.
it does happen, you'll see xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
my condolences to each of you and the best of luck for the future x x x

[bkc320]

I had really bad experience last year, around 7 wks I started bleeding so I went to the hospital and was told I had a threatened miscarriage so I was but on bed rest.  Everything continued fine for what I could tell, even heard the heartbeat....which sounded nothing like my sons, but the doctor told me it was hiding.  I went in about 18 wks for my ultrasound to find out the sex.  There was no baby.  I had lost it a long time before and no one knew!!!!! It was a major shock!!  I continued and 12 wks ago found out I was pregnant.  I started spotting and cramping really bad this week so I went back to the hospital and found out what they said was a missed miscarriage, but yet offered no proof and this was the same woman from the year before.  So I am wondering if not knowing the first miscarriage happened and getting treatment caused this one.  So my question is has this happened to anyone else????  I wanted it to go natural if it hasn't happened already, but since the hospital the cramps have stopped and hardy no bleeding.  I am so confused.

[lisa2341]

you should go back to your gp or your early pregnancy unit asap and find out for sure if your baby is ok or if its not , if you have had a missed miscarriage you can be waiting for some time for it to happen and it may happen now it may not but you can risk infection too so you really need to be checked you will also know when it happens and by the sounds of what you said it has not , you dont have to do this alone i know how your feeling because you feel kinda brushed aside and you get an attitude like so what your having a miscarriage just go home you will be ok, this is why we come on here to find answers , you could always ring your midwife and she will be very helpful and may be able to help you and advise you , if you are worried in anyway then dont sit at home and make yourself ill because you dont need that right now you need to be strong but you do need to talk to someone . can i ask something is your first miscarriage classed as a missed miscarridge too then ? did you not pass anything at all in the 18 weeks ? thinking of you lisa xxx

[jesurb08]

I had a missed miscarriage. I was 13 weeks by date, and ended up spotting. Didn't think anything of it, but called my doc, and also didn't think anything of it. I went in the next day to hear h/b, nothing. Then I had an internal u/s done, and the found the baby had stopped developing at 7 weeks. I still at time wonder if I am preggo. I get very tried, moody, and I thought I felt movement. I know it's in my head, but I know what your going through. On a positive note, only an ultrasound can confirm it. Although a B/T can give you results on whether or not you are miscarrying, based on your HCG levels. It's very hard to deal with. I do recommend that if you are miscarrying, you consider your options (D&C, or natural). I went natural. It hurt like you know what, but I don't regret it because with it being my first, I personally felt like I had delivered my baby, and felt a closer connection with it. Also, I was scared of the scar tissue. However, if you opt for a D&C, then best of luck to you. Let me know!

[skygirl74]

Unfortunately I just experienced a missed miscarriage as well. I had a D&C on friday. I have already had 2 happy healthy baby boys. I was on my 3rd pregnancy. I thought I was 10 wks. 3 days. The baby died at 7 wks. 4 days. It was confirmed by an u/s. I went to the Dr. the day before and he told me if I had no bleeding, cramping or a gush of fluid, I was ok. I told him I thought I was losing my pregnancy symptoms, so he let me go for an ultrasound to see a heartbeat. I had to feel better. I wasn't having anymore breast tenderness and my maternity clothes that were starting to fit, stopped. This is the most horrible thing to have happen. I had no idea how common it is. My husband and I want a 3rd child. The Dr said we could start trying again in a couple months, but I'm scared to death to try to get pregnant again for fear this will be the outcome. I sympathize with everyone who has posted on this forum. This is an extremely difficult thing to go through. Thanks to everyone who shared their stories. I will pray for all of you.

[bkc320]

My first one was classified as a threatened miscarriage, I was put on bed rest for 3 weeks, but when I went to find the sex...there was no baby.  It had happened without anyone knowing.  I don't understand it, I had asked questions when she checked the heart beat because it didn't sound the same as my sons, but I understood every pregnancy is different so thats what I thought.  I also think that it is possible that because of last time and no d&c could of caused this one.  Im still unsure to do one or not, I hear several different things about it.  The kicker is my 1st pregnancy, I was young and I know I didn't take good care of myself, and he is 3 now.  I was the first in my family to have a baby and go through this.  None of my friends have either.  So I am trying to soak up every bit of info as I can.  

[Eboni253]

Hi my situation is very similar to yours. I already have two healthy children and to have this miscarriage is confusing for me. I thought that when I got the test results back from the baby that I would feel better. But I got the results back and they didn't find anything wrong with the baby. I too was 10wks into the prgnancy and had just heard a heartbeat 2wks before I started to spot a little. I had the D&E about three weeks ago now. And each day does seem to get a little better with the help of GOd, but the questions always remains in my mind why?. which makes me wonder if we should try again or not.

[stillwaiting4]

I had a missed

[stillwaiting4]

Sorry, I had a missed miscarriage on December 23, 2006. I went for my 18 week u/s and hoped to find out the sex of the baby but instead found the baby had died 2 weeks ago. I was actually close to 19 weeks. I was in shock. I didn't know this could happen nor had I ever heard of it happening so late. I had no spotting, cramping, nothing. My uterus measured what it was supposed to at that time, it was still growing. Looking back, the only thing noticed was around 13 weeks, my breasts stopped hurting, but at that time the fetus was still alive.
I had a D&E because I could not give birth to a dead baby. But I also was not told it would not be an intact D&E. This made it even more difficult to determine if there were physical abnormalities with the fetus. It is the "not knowing" what happened to cause this that still drives me crazy.
I am now 7 weeks pregnant and worry constantly. Especially when I don't feel pregnant. I haven't even seen my OB since it is his policy to not see pregnant patients before 8 weeks, I thought I would be an exception considering the miscarriage.
Does anyone have any factual information on chances of having another missed miscarriage after already having one ? Thank You.

[Saps]

I had been ttc for about a year and a half when unexpectedly I found out I was pregnant in June 2006. I thought I had a very light period but it turned out that it was spotting from what turned out to be a molar pregnancy. We had to wait 6 months before ttc again, and 18 mths later I found out VERY early (one day after period was due) that I was pregnant again. We were absolutely ecstatic and I started planning. Anyway at 5 weeks 1 day I had slight spotting and freaked out and went for a u/s. First of all the sonographer has to be the most heartless woman in the world, because she started by saying "Oh look there's the pregnancy..... (we got excited).... oh look it's not viable, oh well you will have to talk to your ob-gyn to get a D&C".  That was 2 days ago I have stopped spotting and still have symptoms but I know in my heart that my baby is gone. They have scheduled another u/s and d&c on Monday but I am going to insist that they just get it over with because I am going absolutely insane hoping for a miracle that I know will not come. I really have no idea how to deal with this, I can't eat or sleep and all I do is cry and scream.

[Saps]

I went for a  2nd opinion today and was told the pregnancy is earlier than thought and things look ok for now, I have to wait til Mon 7th for another scan.... I hope it works out... scared to be excited...

[lisa2341]

i hope all is fine and baby is ok to saps my fingers are crossed for you xxxx   also want to let the people on here know how im doing, today i got my af and im so happy thats its come and its only nealy 5 weeks since i had a natural mc i just hope that things go ok from now but will keep you all updated like i promised i would ,i must say my headache yesterday was awful my legs were killing me and my boobs killed me and today i no why lol xxxx lisa x

[mayasmomma]

I suffered a miscarriage 3 yrs ago that took THREE months to complete.  No D&C could be performed because the uterun lining was too thin.  Very traumatic... A year later I had a successful pregancy (with light pink spotting around implantation)... she's now two.  Now, I am 12 weeks, my uterus measured as such, and then the u/s showed no heartbeat with a fetus measuring 6 weeks, 4 days.  I've taken 1 HCG blood test, with the 2nd tomorrow.  The Dr. tells me to try to stay positive and wait for the final results but I could see it in her eyes there is no hope.  

I am opting for the D&C after the weekend when all results are in as I don't know how long it will take to naturally end, and, after my first experience, know it is too much to handle.  It is so hard on the marriage and on me to have it drawn out.

I recall now during the 6 week timeframe my morning sickness ended suddenly, but my uterus cont. to grow with daily fatigue...I was confused but tried to remain positive as morning sickness isn't the only indicator of pregnancy...but I had feelings something may be wrong too.

[Ellie006]

On June 10th I went for a regular 13 week appointment and the doctor could not find the baby's heartbeat using the doppler machine. She did a vaginal ultrasound and found out that the baby had stopped developing around 11w3d, but I showed no signs of miscarriage. I was still nauseated and vomiting... I decided to wait for a natural miscarriage instead of having a D&C. I am now wondering how long I am going to have to wait... it's been nearly 3 weeks since I found out the baby had died but I have had no bleeding or cramping. The baby has been dead for approximately 5 weeks... how long should it take for my body to figure this out?!? I'm getting impatient, but I really don't want to have a  D&C. I go back to the doctor on Wednesday, and hope she can put my mind at ease...

[lil_miss_89]

when i was 8 weeks pregnant i went for an ultra sound and my baby had a strong heartbeat. the doctors told me that seeing the heartbeat reduced my chances of miscarriage to below 3%.being my first pregnancy we told everyone that we were expecting and hearing the chances of miscarriage had dropped so low we went crazy and brought everything out baby would need. then at 12 weeks i started having some spotting i went to emergency and they told me this was normal and because i still felt pregnant there was nothing to worry about.i had an ultra appointment 2 days later and thats when i found out my baby had died at 8 weeks and 6 days.so 6 days after my first ultrasound my baby died. from the ultrasound room they took me straight back to emergency were they told me i wouldn't be able to miscarry naturally so i needed a d&c. i had to wait another two days for my operation.that day was the hardest day of my life because i still felt pregnant and my belly was still big but i had to have my baby taken out of me.for the last few days i have been on an emotional rollercoaster and it's hard because so many of my friends and family are pregnant or have just had babies. i would never wish this on my worst enemy it is an awful feeling knowing that you will never be able to hold your baby. this only happen last monday i was wondering if anyone is in or has been in the same situation and when did you start feeling better?

[lil_miss_89]

my doctor told me that if the baby stays in you longer then 2 weeks once it has died you could get an infection. my body didnt realise my baby had died and the doctors said after five weeks my body wasn't going to realise. i said yes to the d&c because i didnt want to take the chance of getting an infection and then lowering my chances of falling pregnant again. the d&c really isn't that bad there is hardly any pain (less then a normal period) and you really only spot for the first couple of days. i was glad i really didnt have a choice because i dont think i would have been able to handle seeing my baby come out. the doctor also told me that if you get a d&c your chances of falling pregnant straight away are higher then if you choose to miscarry naturally. some doctors say you can try straight away because your uterus is very clean. two days after my d&c i felt ready physically it's emotionally that takes longer.
i wish you all the best and hope that everything works out the best for you keep posting so i know how everything goes

[Avanaar]

After doing some research about missed miscarriages, I found this site.  My heart goes out to everyone who's lost their baby ...I, too, have suffered a missed miscarriage and have been dealing with all the emotions that come with it.

Back in Nov '07, we found out we were pregnant with our first child.  I had *just* gotten off of the OrthoEvra patch the month prior, and we really didn't expect to get pregnant immediately.  I had nausea (mostly in the late afternoon/evening) and breast tenderness (tho that slowly went away, but I thought nothing of it) ...and I thought all was well with my baby.

At the beginning of January, around 9 weeks, we went to get an ultrasound at a free clinic.  It was such an awful experience b/c they wouldn't let my fiance in until they'd pretty much had the vaginal ultrasound inside me ...so we didn't get to see the baby together.  The ultrasound tech didn't seem like he knew much of what he was doing and, even tho I told him I was 9 weeks or so, he said "No, you're 7.5 weeks."  Looking back, I think if I'd been able to go to an actual ob/gyn, I would have found out then and there that my baby was already gone.

But I continued along thinking I was pregnant for another 3.5 weeks ...happily discussing pregnancy stuff with my mom and friends (who I told just before the ultrasound).  The last week of January '08, when I was 12 weeks pregnant, I noticed some brownish spotting.  I monitored it all day and it only happened a couple times when I went potty ...I truthfully thought it was from having sex the night before!  A few days later I noticed the spotting again (but again thought it was b/c of sex the night before!) ...however, it happened again the next day and my fiance took me to the ER.  

The nurses tried to find a heartbeat with the doppler, but when the couldn't find it, they tried to reassure me it meant nothing ...that the baby could just be a "mover."  During the ultrasound we knew something was wrong, because the technician was very quiet and just kept taking pictures.  When we asked what she was seeing, she just kept saying she could not give us an answer because she had to speak with the radiologist first.  

After being brought back to my ER room, we cried because we knew we'd lost the baby.  The nurse came in and told us that the ultrasound showed the baby had stopped growing around 8 weeks and that my hormone levels were much lower than where they should have been for a nearly 13 week pregnancy.  I was scheduled for a D&C the following Tuesday.  The next day I started bleeding ...it was like my body heard the nurse and finally felt it was okay to let go ...I passed a lot of clots and blood ...it felt like the worst period I'd ever had.  

I still went for the D&C to make sure there was nothing left that could cause an infection and hamper our abilities to try again.  There was very little pain and I recovered very quickly ...physically, at least.  The emotional pain still haunts me to this day ...especially now that I am 13 weeks pregnant again.  As much as I want to go to the doctor to make sure everything is going well, I'm scared to death that I will be told the same thing: "No, you're baby's been dead for a month!"  Every little change in my symptoms scares me ...like my first pregnancy, I thought my decline of symptoms was because I was at the end of the first trimester ...all I pray for now is that I have symptoms my whole pregnancy!!

From what I've read, missed miscarriages are 'rare' ...but I'm not sure how they figure that.  There sure seem to be a lot of us!  Also, I've read and been told that just because you have one miscarriage doesn't mean you'll be subject to multiple (3+)  miscarriages ...that most women who've had a miscarriage will go on to have happy, healthy babies.  I just really hope that this baby sticks around ...and I hope all you other ladies are able to cuddle your babies in your arms soon!!  

[mayasmomma]

UPDATE:  I posted a few posts ago... I had my second HCG and it did go down so I had the D&C performed yesterday afternoon.  General anesthesia was used and the actual procedure (not all the O.R. prep included) took under 10 minutes.  Upon waking I felt mild cramps, pain medication was administered via my IV and I felt fine until about 3 hours later and I experienced a very mild headache from the anesthesia wearing off.  Mild cramps when I walked around.  Took a Percocet and went to bed.  Feeling fine this morning physically, like I'm just on my period (light).

Emotionally, having the weekend to process what I knew before the HCG tests told me, that the fetus had perished at 6 weeks, 4 days; I was ready to proceed with the D&C.  By the time I had this done I was ready to move past it at least physically. With time I know the emotions will follow, but I will emphasize, this is A LOT easier that going through the natural process, which with my first miscarriage lasted 3 months.

My heart goes out to all of you who have this burden to bear.

[lisa2341]

well i had my first af as stated in my last post ,today i have stopped bleeding altogether so im taking it that my period lasted 8 days altogether bearing in mind the last 4 days were just brown  discharge but today back to the normal white discharge it was a very heavy first period for the first 2 days though but i was told that would be expected sure was right lol i am going to to check my ovalation this month too and try again for a baby not long then from now a week or just over if things are going right , im going to keep you all updated and i hope someone will follow me and keep reading my posts if you are i hope you are feeling a little more happier now ,i am because i have my mind focused on going forward now  and when the sun is shinning i feel happy in myself now i also feel my baby i lost is also next to me and wants me to be happy .

[bobbi652]

I am 46 years old and found out I was pregnant - then found out I was carring triplets.  They could only find 2 heartbeats on Friday, June 27th.  This week my husband and children (23, 17 and 10) are all getting excited about the twins.  On Tuesday, July 1st the doctor could not find any heartbeats.  I just don;t believe it!  First I'm to old to have babies and already going through my dad being very sick to having twins then no twins are gone.  I really thought the u/s made a mistake and decided to wait a week to get another u/s. I will be getting my next u/s on Thursday,July 10th.  I am already starting to feel "normal"  My breast are a little sore and I haven't even felt sick today.  If the doctor can not find any heartbeat or any baby growth I will schedule a d/c.  This is hard for me and at first I really didn't want to be pregnant.  I have had one miscarriage before - but all you young ladies I pray you can have a healthy pregnancy next time!  Keep trying - i know it is very hard!  Thank you for all the post - just reading about other women has made me feel better and willing to accept that I have had a missed miscarriage.

[lisa2341]

you know something im sitting here thinking how time just goes so fast it dont seem 5 mins since my mc on the 25th may and today the 11th july im ovulating once again i think my body has handled everything so well and everything is just spot on im glad something is right for me im going to try for a baby this weekend thankgod its raining out because we cant do much else can we lol hope you ladies i am talking with are ok would love to know how you all are i must say i do feel so much better just latley i can now look at babies and baby stuff without getting upset so i think thats a good thing love lisa xxx

[mommymaher]

I too had suffered a misssed miscarriage last yr in April .  I was 25 and had 2 healthy kids . my yougest was 9 mths and this was a surprise ,i thought every thing would be the same as the last 2.  I had u/s to confirm pregnancy at 8 weeks every thing was good the heart was beating and baby moving . i had another appt at 12weeks  when the doc didnt find the heart beat we laughed and joked that this baby was just like its sister and brother (they were both  movers the whole preg's so every time they choudnt find heart beat we had to ultra sound and they would be dancing around so much you chouldnt get them to stay still to hear it , i loved all the photo;s i got because of it ) so walking over to the room for u/s i thought nothing other then i get to have more pics to go with the other kids.as soon as i saw the screen i choudnt belive it the baby was there but not moving and heart was not beating,i cryed my eyes out and was in shock .he had a second doc come in to give 2nd look. he said ok well do d/c. I am against abortion and that's all i could pic in my head when he said that was the videos and things i had seen.i told him i was going home to think ,he said the baby had died 2 weeks ago and i chould only hold out for 2 more weeks before i would be risking infection or sickness.  I wanted to bury my baby(yes i know how small it is at this stage but i felt i owed the baby a proper resting place so after fighting with hosp and waiting the max time i had no chice and did it. the next day i was givin the remains .it was very simple to have the baby placed in a family plot only cost 50 dollor for registration. They told me what box was allowed and how to seal it (small jewler box that wont break down) they dug the hole right above my grandparents resting place and i was able to rest knowing that he/she was safe and with my grandparents .

[danim1984]

i was 5 weeks and my symptoms stopped when i was about 4 weeks

[mommymaher]

The reason for the above post was so that any one who is thinking about a d/c knows they have choices . when i asked my doc and hospital what would happen to my baby they heartlessly said '' well we trow it in the trash with the rest of the medical waste'' . i wanted to vomit and hit them at the same time. i was like no way am i going to let you do that .I had to fight with the hospital the whole 2 weeks that the doc said i chould wait.  I told the doc  you give me baby or i will go some where else.i read online of other women who had wanted the babies to bury and the trouble they had.Some one said that religion was only way to go.so as soon as i told them that it was for religious reason , they had to ask what religion and when i told them catholic they left me alone and said ok.They tryed to treat me like i was stupid and told me you know it wont be a full grown baby to bury ,,i told them i know exactly at what stage my baby was and how they look at 12 weeks.i know that it wouldnt be somthing i would want to stare at but that my baby no matter how small or damaged by d/c still should be bearied. it helped me to heal and gave me a place that i can go to to morn and to remember my baby.My 6 yr old know i was preg and unfortunilty know that the baby had went to heaven to be with god . the baby being buried has also made it easier for her to understand that some times babys die and go to heaven to be gods little angels ,she has gone to cemitary and put flowers there for the baby and talkes to him/her. we are catholic so she knows that bodies go in the grown and souls go to heaven.  im still sad and dont understand why this happend but doing what we did halped us to move on and heal .  Now we only talk about the baby in heaven rearly and allways happly knowing that he/she is watching over my daughter and her brother. i dont know if you every heal completly na dsome times i think about what the baby would be like and on halloween ( the due date) what i would have been doing if the baby had been ok ( not trick or treating) ,, but i try to keep my faith and know that it happened for a reason and will never reget those 12 weeks that i got to be his/her mother !

[lisa2341]

i have just read the post above and to all who think they babies get thrown in the trash they dont do that anymore they put all the babies together that have been lost and once a fortnight these babies do have a special cremation together that made me feel so much better and you have to sign a bit of paper now to say its ok for your baby to be cremated along with other little angles that have been lost hope this make you all feel a little better lisa xxx

[lika19]

Hi. I went for an ultrasound yesterday and the doctor couldnt find a heartbeat. Im supposed to be 8 1/2 weeks pregnant but the baby seems only 6 1/2. That was the 3rd ultraound I had and none showed a heartbeat. The doctor told me is possible I had a miscarriage. I was in shock, Im only 19 years old and me and my bf were very happy we were gonna have our first baby. My doc asked me to go for another ultraound in two weeks. Im extremely anxious and sad. But after reading all these posts I feel a little bit better because I know Im not the only one going thru this.
I hope all the best for all

[lisa2341]

well hi all hope your all ok just want to say that im on my af again  so i did not catch out this month  fingers crossed for next month must say my af was spot on time .did feel a little down a week ago i dont know if i just had a low feeling for a time and everything was running through my head but i feel ok ish now i think my love to you all love lisa xxxx

[cougal]

I found this site because I am miscarrying. I heard the heartbeat at 7 1/2 weeks, but the next ultrasound at 9 weeks revealed no heartbeat. I am now 10 weeks and waiting for the mc to happen. This is not a first for me. In fact, this is my 6th miscarriage. I am 42 and want to offer you all hope. I had my first 2 children at 34 and 35 yrs old. No problems of significance and I had 2 healthy children. At 37 I started to try for my 3rd. I desperately wanted one more baby. I got pregnant right away and began to bleed around 7 weeks or so. The doc did an HCG test and sure enough, I miscarried the next week on my own. I was devestated. I waited a year because we moved and I started a new job before I tried again. Now I know how absolutely NOT SMART this was, as fertility decreases by leaps and bounds after 37. I got pregnant right away and told the doc my mc story. I was afraid, but she refused to do an us until 11 1/2 weeks. I thought everything was fine. I was completely shocked, horrified, devestated, etc. when there was no heartbeat. The baby had died at 7 1/2 weeks. I began to get hopeless at this stage. I went in for a D &C this time and ended up at the chiropractor for the next 6 months because somehow it threw my back out. I never want to go through this again. The only good thing is that they did a karyotype test and I discovered that the baby had a chromosome problem. This helped me deal with the loss, knowing that something was wrong with the baby. I will warn you though, what I didn't know is that I would also find out the sexx of the baby. It was a boy and I still grieve him. At this point, I discovered that because of my age and 2 miscarriages, that I could go to a perinatologist. This is a high risk OB. They were incredible in this office. I never knew how different things could be. The next time I got pregnant, I was in at 5 1/2 weeks checking for the heartbeat. Unfortunately, I went through 3 more miscarriages. I read many books, the best one called "Coming to Term" . This book gave me hope. Everyone thought I was crazy to keep trying. I had an entire fertility workup and all they could say was it was my age and egg quality. My doctor told me that at 39 or so, perhaps 70% of a woman's eggs are bad. Well, in order to deal with this, your heart has to harden. I began to think that if I just have 10 miscarriages, that I was bound to have at least one healthy baby because this is the only way I could emotionally handle the loss. I had suffered my 5th miscarriage 2 weeks prior in June of '06 at age 40 and had decided to do an IUI. This is a fertility treatment. NOt IVF, but similar, just a lot cheaper, where maybe I would be able to get 5 eggs fertilized at once, which would up my chances. The doctors told me I had to take a pregnancy test before I could start the fertility drugs. I thought it was rediculous since I had just miscarried two weeks earlier. I did and it was positive. They did bloodwork and it was a new pregnancy. I was devestated because I believed that now I would mc again and I would have to wait another six months to do the fertility treatment. Well, at 5 1/2 weeks, there was a heartbeat. At 7 weeks, it was stronger. At 10 weeks, I had a 3D US and saw the baby, fully developed scratch its head. At 13 weeks, my doctor said it was a girl, probably. At 14 weeks, they said she could have downs. At 20 weeks, the test came back negative and they said she looked healthy. Every week I had an us. I have an entire photo album of ultrasounds. I went on partial bedrest from 9 weeks on because of constant contractions. At 38 weeks, my beautiful healthy baby girl was bornwith the cord around her neck. I thought, this was it. All this and now to lose her. You see, when you miscarry, you never look at pregnancy through the same lens. You will always worry. My doctor expertly looped the cord back around and told me she was perfectly fine. She was absolutely beautiful and I named her Hannah because God remembered me and heard my prayers. My miracle baby is 16 months old now and not a day goes by that I don't thank God for her and my other two children.  I discovered the new pregnancy in June and now the new miscarriage. It is life. I am devestated again, but so grateful that I persevered through the others. I read once in a book the question, "when do you know when to stop?". The answer was when you cannot do it anymore. Before Hannah, I always knew I could try one more time and I am so thankful I did. Now I know, I am ready to stop and it is OK. Don't give up until you cannot do it anymore. Your miracle may be right there within your grasp. I pray my story can encourage you. Losing a baby is a horrible thing, but it makes you realize what an absolute miracle every baby born really is.

[annabelle123]

So glad to have found this site - I had a missed miscarriage at about 7 weeks, probably just a few days after seeing the heartbeat for the first time on ultrasound.  We suspected there were problems, since we thought we were at 8 weeks, but the u/s tech said it looked like closer to 6.5 weeks, and said the heart rate "was a little low."  My doctor said that's not unusual, and didn't ask me to alter my routine (I'm a runner and offered to slow down - she said exercise is great for me and baby).  But they asked me to come back in 2 weeks for repeat u/s, and the gestational sac was flat, and no heartbeat.  Just had a D&C on Monday - I feel fortunate that I had no symptoms of miscarriage, and was glad my doctor gave me the choice to get the procedure done instead of waiting.  We're hopeful that we'll get pregnant again quickly (first time, we tried for 1 month only) - and that my cycles will return to normal.  I know it will take time for my breast soreness/swelling to go down, but it stinks to still have pregnancy symptoms.

My thoughts go out to all of you - wishing us all good, healthy pregnancies!

[jamro5]

I had a d&c yesterday (Thursday).  We just found out on Tuesday, at our first OB appointment, that our baby had stopped developing at 6 weeks.  I should have been 9 weeks and 2 days pregnant.  I honestly wasn't completely surprised when I saw the ultrasound and the doctor said "I'm very sorry to tell you this...."  For some unknown reason, I had a sneaking suspicion that something was not "right" with this pregnancy.  I have 3 healthy children and this pregnancy was different somehow, although I couldn't put my finger on it. (I had all the pregnancy symptoms - fatigue, nausea, mildly sore boobs, etc.)  As the doctor explained what had happened and what our options were, I had so many emotions - sadness, fear, confusion, as well as a little shock.   My initial response to the choices given was to wait it out, to let my body miscarry naturally when it decided to - the d&c option seemed scary.

After sleeping on Tuesday night and weighing the advantages and disadvantages of each option, I changed my mind and called the doctor's office to request a d&c.  The doctor had explained that when you miscarry naturally, there is a lot of bleeding and cramping involved - that I would need to stay very close to the bathroom, if not in it, for several hours. And that I probably wouldn't want to be home alone. She explained that the bleeding would probably last 7-9 days.  She also told us of the possibility that my body would not miscarry all of the tissue, it which case I would still need a d&c.

Initially I wasn't too crazy about the idea of a d&c for several reasons - mostly fear.  I was afraid of being put under general anesthesia, and I was afraid of what the recovery would be like.  I was also very upset thinking about what the hospital would do with my baby.  I changed my mind to go ahead with the d&c because I wanted to get the "fear" part of this over with, as well as the feeling sick and fatigued constantly.  I wanted to be able to just feel sad - not sad and worried (and sick!)

I am sharing my story here to hopefully help anyone who is trying to decide what to do.  I am so happy I chose to go with the d&c.  The process was much less scary than I thought.  The recovery has been easy.  20 minutes after the surgery I was awake and feeling pretty good.  I had very mild cramping - only a 1 or a 2 - on a scale of 1-10.  The mild cramping only lasted about an hour.  There was very little bleeding.  Now 24 hours later, the bleeding is just about gone.  Every once in a while just a little pink or brown discharge.  As far as my worry about what the hospital would do with our baby, the hospital gives you the options, YOU get to choose.  We chose to have our baby cremated with other babies and buried at a local cemetery in an area designated for the "Still Missed".

The last 24 hours still seem somewhat surreal for me.  I am so grateful that this whole process has been bathed in God's mercy and grace.  The whole process turned out as "good" as a really bad situation could have.  Now we can move on to grieving our little sweetheart who will always be dearly missed.

May God bless all of you mama's out there who have walked this road.

[sammyjoe34]

hi
i just wanted to know has anyone been diagnosed a miscarriage only for it to be misdiagnosed. my dilemma is i started bleeding on saturday and went to er, bleeding was light but red and they did a uss and diagnosed me with a threatened miscarriage, er then told me to go to early pregnancy unit on Monday for blood tests to see if HCG levels were doubling. so i went on Monday but they  said its better to do another uss, they said they could see the gestational and yolk sac and the uterus looked normal even though bleeding was moderate with mild period pains, and booked me for another appointment in 2 weeks. when saying moderate i used a maximum of a pad and a half  a day for the rest of the week till date, and strangely found that when i sat or lay down i hardly bled but when i went toilet i used to drip ( not pour)as they also suggested bed rest for 2 weeks. so here i am 1 week later and yesterday i began to clot about the size of like 50p  it did again today twice and so i went back to er and they did another uss and told me that its coming away slowly. i could see the gestational sac there and the doctor even asked if i had pictures from the last scan to compare hers too. and whether it looked about the same size as the last time i was scanned. she also said it looked as though my uterus was thinning. she discharged me saying i have had a complete miscarriage but if i was to start bleeding heavier i should go back to the early pregnancy unit.  this has left me very confused, because if i had totally miscarriages surely there should be no gestational sac at all.by my lmp dates i am 6 weeks 5 days today... if i go on monday i will be 7 weeks gestational age/ 5 weeks fetus age, is that too early to hear a heartbeat?

[jennyp410]

I'm certainly no expert, but I think that is a little early to hear a heartbeat. I found this site after my missed miscarriage - http://www.misdiagnosedmiscarriage.com/ . It might give you more answers, whether good or bad.

I'm in the same boat as all of you. My first dr appt was 10/24, and I should have been 11-12 weeks. There was no heartbeat, and our baby had died at just over 9 weeks. I chose to have the D&C, and it was done 10/31.

As someone else said, it was very easy. The procedure took less than a half hour, and I felt fine that day. I thought I would sleep most of the day due to the morphine shot, but I didn't. I stayed in bed and watched tv. I only bled for three days, then had a slight brown tinged discharge until two days ago. Only had cramps for a day or so, and they were very light, like menstrual cramps. I took a few Advil for the pain.

My symptoms had disappeared two weeks prior, so I had a sinking feeling that something was wrong. I regret that I didn't mention that to my husband, because he was blindsided when there was no heartbeat. I had thought that I was just being paranoid, so it would be silly to mention it to him.

It has been almost two weeks, and things are getting better. But I realize that I will never completely recover. We didn't plan to have children, and are 34 yrs old, so this pregnancy was quite a shock. We knew for 4 weeks prior to the miscarriage, and it was a total roller coaster of emotions that still hasn't ended. At this point, I don't know if we'll try for a baby later, but I do know that this one has changed my perspective, so it is a possibility.

[asia4]

First, sorry for mu English, Im not american, but happened I live in MA. Anyway, I had miscarraige (miscarriage) last year in October. Started with spots (dark, brown) on Saturday, mid October. I went to emergency, they did ultrasound and said everything looks good, sometimes this happens. Send me home. For next 2 weeks there was days with spots and without. Tuesday I told my mom about this, she is a doctor and she told me to go for second ultrasound even my first appiotment was coming on next day.  They didnt see heartbeat, it was over. Went home and next day pass the tissue. It was the worst day in my life. Today is Tuesday, on Thursday I have my first doctor visit. 4 weeks ago I had some brown spots and I went for ultrasound, everything was fine. Since then I didnt have anything however Im so affraid, to the point I dont want to go for this visit. Im affraid this will happen again, Im affraid my pregnancy is over I just do not know this yet. I do not have pregnancy symptoms anymore, my breasts are not sore, Im not eating much like before, dont feel sick, Im not going to bathroom that often. Im saying myself it because the first trimester is almost over but deep in my heart I know something is wrong....I dont want say anything to my husband, he want this baby so much, this will break his heart. Just need to say this. Nobody knows Im pregnant this time, last year we told everybody and It was to painful after I lost baby....

[buddhababy12]

I am very glad to find this board.  I knew nothing about the possibility about missed miscarriages - only the usual kind has ever been talked about to me.  So, I was shocked when I went in this past monday for what I thought was a urinary tract infection (I had had very minor inconsistent spotting the 2 days prior and some abdominal pain) and they did a u/s and found our baby had died.  Although I should be 13 weeks, the u/s showed the baby had died at 10 wks.  We had heard the heartbeat at 9 weeks and since I was growing my baby bump, all seemed normal.  We are in total shock.  My symptoms had definitely lessened around 11 weeks, but I was going into 2nd trimester, so I didn't think much of it.  I am now deciding whether to let the tissue pass naturally or have a D&C.  I told my dr.  I wanted to pass naturally, but the pain of carrying my baby who has died coupled with still looking pregnant is really hard to bear.  I think if I have not begun the natural process, I will schedule a D&C in the next few days.  I would like the baby to be able to get on to wherever it needs to go and my husband and I need to begin to heal and go back to work etc.  Thank you all for sharing your stories.  I wish that there was more knowledge and education on this subject so that people would at least be aware that it is a possibility.    

[lisamafia]

my 16 yr old daughter is 15 weeks gone but the ultra sound confirmed baby stopped growin at 9 weeks shes refusing any medical intervention and just wants things to happen naturaly my deep worry is that as its already had no heart beat for 6 weeks and is still attached is it dangerous 2 just wait for nature i am worried sick and dont no what 2 do dont want 2 pressure or rush her as i know how she feels having 3 miscarriages and an ectopic myself she is so precious to me any suggestions or info on how long is too long 2 just wait xx

[bostongirl80]

On Friday, I went in for an U/S at what I thought was approximately 11 weeks (but could have been earlier).  Unfortunately the doctor was unable to detect a heartbeat with the doppler - likewise, the technician was unable to find a heatbeat with both external and internal U/S.  The baby had stopped growing at 8.5 weeks and what had grown appeared to be abnormal.  While I was sad, I am firm believer that nature knows best.  I scheduled a d&c for Tuesday (today).  I called my doctor's office yesterday to speak with the nurse so that she could go over the ultrasound again and reassure me that my baby was abnormal and without heartbeat - which she did.  I felt much better going through with the procedure after speaking with her.

Well I entered the operating room at 9:09am today (one of the last things I remember is the nurse stating the time) and was in the recovery room well before 10am.  I left the hospital by 10:30am.  The hospital was great - the procedure was painless.  Bleeding is moderate but improving by the hour.  I have no pain and minimal to no cramping.  I have absolutely no recollection of the procedure even though I was only sedated (i was not put completely under).  I highly recommend this procedure to those of you in my situation.  I wanted to share my story in order to ease the fears that some of you may have concerning the d&c procedure.

[Bee30]

My heart goes out to each and everyone of you. I have 3 yr old and the pregnacy was find besides an ovarian cysts. However after her I have had 2 misscarriages. I'm glad I found this fourm because when I had mines it just seem like noone understood the pain. I'm still hurt but do leave all up to God. I will keept all in my prayers. It does get better but you will never forget. Stay strong as we women do!!!

Hugs

[emmykatesmom]

I can relate to what all of you are going through.  I was 13 weeks pregnant with my first child, started having a  tiny amount of brown spotting then went in for an ultrasound and found out the worst news of my life... My precious angel had died.  I had an ultrasound at 9 weeks that showed a normal baby with a stong heartbeat.  I was devistated. I had the D&C the next morning. It is now almost 3 years later and I have a healthy 17 month old little girl.  When I was pregnant with her I was so scared that the same thing would happen.  At  7 weeks with her, I started the brown spotting and I knew that I had lost her, but an ultrasound showed everything was fine.  Hugs to everyone.  You will have a baby... Just know that our precious little ones are in heaven and we will see them someday...

[TXHopeful]

I went to the doctor when I was at what I thought was 7wks4days.  The ultrasound showed an empty sac, and I was told I was either less pregnant than I thought (4-5 instead of 7-8) or that I am miscarrying.  

I never had a lot of pregnancy symptoms to begin with, but the one I did have (radiating heat) has gone away.  However, I have other symptoms that can be associated with early pregnancy like acne and slight breast sensitivity on random occasions.  I haven't really had any signs of a miscarriage that couldn't also be associated with a healthy pregnancy (slight lower back pain 2 separate days after tense work in a cold office and light spotting once after sex).  I'm not quite sure what to think except that I obviously can't trust my body to tell me anything conclusive...

I go back to the doctor for a followup ultrasound with a definitive answer this Monday the 26th.  I was charting so I don't possibly see how my cycle could be 2-3 weeks off, but I guess it *could* be possible???  I don't know what to think, but this waiting 2 weeks is killing me!

Has anyone here been what they thought was 7 weeks, seen an empty sac, been wrong on their timing, and still had a healthy pregnancy?  I'm afraid my reality is miscarriage, but since it's been a week-and-a-half from that ultra sound and I still haven't seen any bleeding or had cramping I can't help but hold onto a little hope.  Have any of you heard of *missed* miscarriages this early?  It seems like most miscarriages this early are not missed...  What do you think?

[qwertyasdfg]

I am so sorry for everyone who has to go through this. I went in last Friday for my first midwife appointment at 11 weeks. My husband and I have a 2 year-old daughter, and my pregnancy was easy with her, so neither of us was worried. The midwife was unable to find a heartbeat, and as she looked around for it, I had this sinking feeling in my stomach. She sent me for an ultrasound, which showed the baby had died at 9 weeks. I really wanted to miscarry naturally - I somehow felt like having my body acknowledge this loss, and being able to see the baby, would make it easier to get over emotionally. At the same time, I'd been told that spontaneous miscarriage this late in pregnancy, or inducing it with misoprostol, can be very painful and carry risks of heavy bleeding. Not much happened over the weekend - just some spotting - but on Monday morning, my water broke in the shower and I passed the baby and placenta. I had almost no pain at all -- just the slightest cramping. I felt much more at peace having done this, but things immediately got bad - I started to hemorrhage, and by the time my husband got home 10 minutes later to take me to the ER, I had already lost a lot of blood. I ended up having to get transfusions because by the time I got to the OR I was passing out, but the ob/gyn performed a D&C to clear the rest of the tissue and stop the bleeding, which was surprisingly easy. I have felt no pain at all from the D & C or the miscarriage itself, just pain from all the IV sticks trying to find my veins.

I think a lot of women struggle with what to do after finding out their baby has died but they're still pregnant - some want it out as soon as possible, but others (like me) think it would help to have the body deal with it naturally and maybe even see and hold the baby. Even though it was physically pretty awful and I ended up hospitalized, I still am so grateful to have had the opportunity to see the little guy -- it made the grieving much easier. For any of you who are thinking of doing this, don't let your doctor talk you out of waiting for nature to take its course if that feels important to you, but MAKE SURE YOU'RE NOT ALONE, YOU'RE ALWAYS BY A PHONE, AND YOU ARE NEAR THE HOSPITAL if you decide to do this. I was completely taken by surprise by the bleeding, just like I was completely taken by surprise by the missed miscarriage. It was still worth it for me, though, to have my body end it naturally -- even though I was at the extreme end of how badly the actual miscarriage can go. I am so grateful that I could be in the ER within 15-20 minutes of it starting.

To all you who have to go through this, it is more common than any of us think, which really helped me to accept that this wasn't my fault and it's not your fault, either. Good luck getting through however you decide to proceed. Be careful with your heart and with your body.

[killiekat]

I'm so glad to have found this board! I'm sure you'll understand when I say that it is both awful and wonderful to be in your company.

I had a missed MC last July -- went in for my first U/S at 8 weeks, and as soon as I could see the Dr. struggling to find movement, I knew. I was still in shock, but I knew. (My husband and I have a 2 yo, from a totally non-eventful pregnancy, and I remember vividly what that first heartbeat looks like.) Given the three choices of wait, D&C, or misoprostol suppositories, I chose the last.

I miscarried that night, and all seemed to be okay for time. I kept bleeding, but had been told that 2-3 weeks of that was normal. But 4 weeks later, at a office lunch, I started to hemorrhage -- even more blood and tissue than when I had first miscarried. I ended up back at my doctor, who checked me out and said that yes, there was still tissue, and because I was losing so much blood, she did an emerg. D&C. As soon as I woke up, I could tell that it was finally over.

I'd never try to convince someone to choose a D&C, but if it happens to me again, I'd be scared to do the suppositories. I felt as though I had a month-long miscarriage, which was pretty awful emotionally.

I'm now at 5w5days with my 3rd pregnancy and don't have an ultrasound scheduled until 2/24 (slightly earlier than 8 weeks, given the miscarriage last time, but late enough to be able to expect a heartbeat). Of course, I'm terrified that there won't be a heartbeat. I find myself trying to convince myself that I'll probably miscarry again, just so I'm not so disappointed. But of course, the usual healthy-baby hopes are hard to ignore. And the waiting to find out, as all of you know, just *****. At 40, I'm not sure how many more opportunities I'll have.

Your stories have helped remind me that many, many others have been through this or worse, and often, there's no satisfying explanation. It has sure made me incredibly grateful for my husband and daughter. Thanks to all of you.
H.C.

[qwertyasdfg]

Thanks for sharing your story - what you went through sounds awful, but I'm glad to hear you're pregnant again. I am sure you're nervous about the ultrasound! I hope everything goes fine and that you have another non-eventful pregnancy. Good luck, and stay hopeful!

I am starting to think about trying again (I miscarried a few weeks back - Feb. 2), but wondering how long it takes the body to recover after hemorrhaging. It sounds like we had a similar (god-awful) experience. If you don't mind my asking, how long was it before you felt OK again? I think I'm still pretty anemic, despite the transfusions, and I'm curious whether my period and strength will be back anytime soon.

Take care!

[nscy]

qwertyasdfg,
thank you for sharing your experience.  you said you waited to let the baby pass naturally.  at 11 wks, did you see it?  i was in the same boat.  i had my d&c last week and my OB didn't even give me any options.  i went in for my almost 11 wk check-up, to find out the baby had passed at 9w4d.  i wonder if seeing the baby would put more closure to my feelings?

[qwertyasdfg]

Dear nscy,
I'm so sorry to hear about your experience. I know exactly how you feel - it is brutal. I hope you are doing OK. Sorry not to answer sooner - I haven't check this in awhile.

In answer to your question, yes, I did see the baby. My water broke in the shower, and the baby came out first, so it was easy to find. I wasn't 100% sure it was the baby at first, but when I put it into water, I could see the tiny fingers and toes and everything. It was really surreal ... but it did really help me to feel emotionally resolved about the pregnancy loss. I was surprised with how much i wanted to just look at the little baby and touch its tiny fingers and toes, and we actually had a little burial for it (not in a cemetery or anything, but out in the forest). It really did help. I see a midwife, and she was really supportive of my doing this and said that in her experience it really helps women to heal emotionally. in contrast, the OB who did my D&C in the ER (who was very compassionate and kind) definitely didn't understand how important that was for me. So I can see why yours didn't give you any options - I do'nt think it's in most OB's "bag of tricks." I can also see why your OB pushed you for a D&C - physically it was pretty brutal. So - in short, I think it was physically worse to go through what I did, but emotionally much much better. Does that make sense? I am sorry you didn't get to see the baby - some women definitely seem to feel creeped out by that, but I found it very healing. I hope you can find some peace in your own way. My husband and I both wrote letters to the baby and buried them, and I was also surprised how much that helped. Ceremonies aren't really all that much of my thing, usually, but again, it just helped me to resolve my feelings and acknowledge the end of something. I wonder if writing a letter or having some kind of ceremony would help you, too?
I wish you all the best getting through this. I am only a few weeks further out than you, but I can tell you that I actually feel really pretty OK. I think the more acutely you can grieve, and the more you can DO something tangible to acknowledge and let go of that little life, the better it is for you psychologically. Good luck to you, and let me know if you have any more questions. I am happy to share. It helps so much to know you're not the only one going through this, doesn't it?

[sheza_marsh]

I am sorry for all your looses! I had a missed miscarriage at 8wks.  However I didn't find out until 11wks. I had had slight spotting around 8wks but it stop after a day or so and when I phoned the hospital they said it was nothing to worry about.  When I got to 11wks I was out at a friends bday when I started spotting a bit.  A few days before I had pains in my stomach and felt a bit unwell but didn't think anything of it as I wasn't bleeding.  I wasn't worried at first until the following day when I had a few clots so phoned the hospital to an got an emergency scan for the following day.  When they did the scan there was no heartbeat! I was devastated! But I just knew it! Having to wait a full day until I got the scan the whole time I had the nauseating feeling at it was going to be bad news I couldn't help it! I had to get a medical management miscarriage.  I wouldn't recommend it as it is like going into labour!  If I had known I would have gotten the d&c! I thought I was bleeding to death I was terrified and the pain was unbearable! I felt so bad that I didn't know my baby had been dead for 3wks before I knew. I still had pregnancy symptom but the doctor says this can happen as your hgc levels are still high! After the meds I ended up having the miscarriage on the sat I would have been 12wks.  It has only been 1wk and a half since.  I stopped bleeding after about 4 days but I have started again today. I'm not sure if it's my period or not.  I'm terrified it means there is still tissue left! I've got an appointment on Friday to get a scan to check! Fingers crossed everything is away so I don't have to end up getting a d&c anyway! I'm desperate to get pregnant again but don't know how soon I can! I had unprotected sex at the weekend just 1 week after everything came away!!! I don't think I could get pregnant that every as I was told it can take 2-6 wks after everything to ovulate and sometimes you don't even ovulate the first month.  I'm also terrified it will happen again! Ever since I've found out I have been eating my 5 portions of fruit and veg a day and cutting out the ****! I've still been taking my vits and folic acid and staying off the drink to make sure if I do fall pregnant soon my body will be ready!

[Tina81369]

First sorry for all of your losses, I know how you feel.  I too had a mmc.  I went to a high risk dr every 2 weeks and my reg ob the other 2 weeks. One week my baby had a strong heartbeat and within 8 days it had none.  My husband & I were devastated.  I was 10 weeks but the baby stopped growing at 8w6d. We decided not to tell too many people about the pregnancy before 12 weeks now I fell alone because i have no one to talk to about it.  I feel like everyones life went right back to normal except mine especially my husband.  I had to wait a week to have a d & c, had that on friday night and husband went bk to work on saturday. Maybe i'm just feeling sorry for myself...but I don't really feel like doing anything.  Anyone else feel this way?  I have a beautiful healthy 2 1/2 yr old boy that I love dearly but I find myself even being short with him.  I've read maybe this is my hormones going bk to normal. I sure hope so

[sheza_marsh]

Hi Tina you are not alone I feel the same! We didn't tell many ppl which means alot of my friends and fam don't know also! I was going to tell everyone at 12 wks but found out @ 11 wks there was not heartbeat ( docs determined missed miscarriage happened @ 8wks) ! I don't want tell them now as they maybe offended that I didn't tell them I was preg in the first place and just looking for sympathy! I find it hard to accept that ppl are just carrying on life as usual! I have been off my college for nearly 3wks go bk next wk I'm terrified! Although I'm glad I have someone to talk to when I go bk to college as one girl knows she walked on me asking my tutor for time off! She is gr8 since she had a miscarriage also earlier last year so she really understands! Since you haven't told anyone and you don't have anyone to talk to maybe you should tell one person you trust and know well as it may help to talk to someone other than your husband! I also understand where you are coming from with your husband going bk to normal I feel the same about my partner! I feel like he thinks I should be bk to normal and if I'm upset asks what wrong???!!! I can't believe he would even as this!!! But I guess that guys for you!!! Take care xxx

[kel421]

I'm home waiting for my miscarriage to happen.  Like many others, we heard a healthy heartbeat at 8w and at our 12w checkup, no heartbeat was found and u/s confirmed baby had stopped growing at 9w.  The still image of the baby on the screen will probably always stay with me.
I definitely want things to happen naturally, but I'm not seeing many people that have had positive outcomes going that route.  I started spotting yesterday and what felt like bad menstrual cramps started last night.  Today I've been in the bathroom for about 4 hours with clots coming out, but after that time frame, things just kinda stopped and I'm actually feeling pretty good.  I'm nearly positive I haven't passed the baby yet so I'm not sure what to do at this point.  I know this is gross, but I did poop at one point.  I didn't check that out as I was pretty sure what it was, but now I'm wondering if that was it?  I never noticed any placenta or anything; just blood and a few tissue-y clots.  Anyone who passed at home have this happen?  Is the baby pretty noticeable?  Judging by what the u/s looked like two days ago, I was pretty sure I would recognize it.  I have two older children and giving natural birth to both of them definitely felt like pooping, but I kinda think that's a different scenario.
I know that's all pretty blunt and graphic, but I think everyone here will agree that once you go through childbirth or a m/c, modesty becomes a thing of the past.

My heart also goes out to all of you here.  Especially those of you who have had to suffer through this without having had children first.  That's about the only thing keeping me from completely losing it since I've found out.

I do go back to the doctor Monday (it's Friday now) and if I haven't passed on my own, he will schedule D/C for Tuesday.  If I did pass, they will confirm everything was expelled.

[sheza_marsh]

Hi Kel

My heart goes out to u! It's an awful experience! I know what you mean about pooping @ one point (sorry graphic) I pooped at the same time as I was passing clots! It's totally normal I've been told since your body is pushing! I saw my baby when I pass he/she.  I was totally shocked and just sat crying for ages! It's was so tiny and It just broke my heart to see it just being so still! It was really really small but it was something I could easily tell. So I would guess you haven't passed it yet if your not sure but your doc will defo tell at your scan! I went on Friday and everything passed ok! So I've got all the all clear to try again! They recommend waiting at least 1 cycle or 2 but I don't know if I'll wait! I think I'm gonna let nature take it's course as I've read alot and my gp told me and it wont increase your chances of a miscarriage just difficult to tell your date at first! I just don't want to loose the chance of having the baby nature wants me to! It's just my decision but I will see what happens because I might not even ovulate the first month! I am still so numb inside but healing each day! I am going to get a tattoo soon of the miscarriage awareness ribbon to remember by baby to help me grieve! Take care all and my love to everyone who's gone or going through this! I don't wish it on anyone ! xxx

[LFSRN1]

I went in for a routine transvaginal ultrasound last week at 8 weeks and 4 days, and the baby measured 6 wks, 2 days and had no heartbeat.  On the ultrasound, before the doc even said anything, I could see the embryo, and saw no activity whatsoever.  Even before the US, deep down, I think I knew something was a little off.  I had a couple of bouts of nausea before I found out I was pregnant, but other than breast tenderness and mild fatigue, I felt normal. Even though I knew some women just don't have much morning sickness, I was nervous about it and couldn't wait for the first ultrasound to confirm a heartbeat.  Well, that didn't happen.

My doc gave me the choices of D&C, meds or letting nature take its course; but he wanted me to go home and think about it.  My first instinct was to let things happen naturally, but the down side of that is the not knowing.  It would be a nightmare for it to happen at work.  My husband and I were very upset when we found out and I was thinking, this is just the beginning.  We have to do this all over again when the baby passes...which could be days or weeks.  

Because we need to move on emotionally, physically and do want to try again as soon as we can, we've opted for the medication (Cytotec).  I'm an ICU nurse and as much as I give medication, I personally do not like taking anything unless it's absolutely necessary.  So this was a hard decision, but I think it's for the best.  We're going to call the OB tomorrow to let him know our decision.
Emotionally, I feel like I've put it in perspective.  The first couple of days were very rocky and I still cry at some point every day.  I've known people who have had "normal" miscarriages, but none have had a missed miscarriage.  It's like you have a twofold grieving process.  Reading about others' experiences has really helped me.  Getting a medical perspective is one thing.  But it's helpful to get a personal perspective from those who've gone through it.

[kleam]

reading everyone's stories have really helped, but they also brought back the sinking feeling i felt when i first saw the spotting, when we didn't see the heart beat and when i had to go in for a d&c.  

i could have sworn that i was 8 weeks along, but according to their measurements, i was only 6 weeks.  this could not have at all been possible because my husband and i only had sex, twice, at the very beginning of the month, and they were saying i conceived on january 28th.  

wednesday night, when i first noticed the spotting, i freaked, but my sister in law calmed me down.  we were on the phone when i noticed it.  it would stop, then it would start, but it was more what they call "staining" with no real clots, until i went in for an u/s the following day, which was only one day before my regular, scheduled appointment.  

i had to take my 4 year old with me, and we were there in the room, and i heard the heart beat, saw it on the screen, and the tech was all smiles.  she even printed up a copy for my son.  

my ob checked me and said everything looked great, that there was no active bleeding and my cervix was completely closed.  she was completely optimistic, but i felt something wasn't right.  i even called my dad when i got home, tears and all.  i just felt that sinking feeling in my gut when i am about to predict the worst.

we went in the next day to have my blood drawn to check my levels.  i didn't know it then, but i was very low in progesterone.  

that sunday, while doing laundry i had several shooting pains through my uterus, i could feel it in my cervix.  i had been worrying the entire time, but trying to stay optimistic about my test results.  

monday, i called for them and they sent in a prescription for progesterone suppliments.  i went in an hour later for another u/s.  i didn't see the heartbeat.  she tried to keep a blank face, but i know the routine when you do see the hearbeat.  also, it's not rocket science, and i could see no movement, no heartbeat, and the embryo and sack just LOOKED different.  the measurements were at 6 weeks and 4 days, which meant, the baby had just died..  within a day or so.  

the doctor seemed baffled.  i was in tears, and my son was confused.  my husband was very supportive, but all i wanted to do was crawl in a hole and die.  i still don't know what caused it.  another story posted above was similar in that she was measuring smaller, and that could have been a reason the pregnancy didn't stay.  

i wanted so much to pass the tissue naturally, but every trickle of anything, felt like someone was stabbing me in the heart.  i felt empty and disgusted in myself.  i would look down at my abdomen knowing it was still there, but it was gone.  the emotional pain was unbearable.  i decided to go with a d&c, and as hesitant and bothered by the idea as i was, it was the best decision ever.  

my husband initially said he didn't ever want to try for another one.  it was really hard to cope with the loss knowing that this baby was my only shot at having another one.  three days ago, we had a huge talk about it, and now he's had a change of heart.  i couldn't be happier.

now, i'm concerned about everything.  i want to wait one or two cycles, and this past thursday marks two weeks after the d&c.  i can't help but think it was something wrong with me.  my ob said miscarriage is common and that my son is proof i can carry a healthy baby to term, so it wasn't a progesterone issue, that the low progesterone level was a warning sign.  i can't get over the idea that i still had my symptoms, although nausea wasn't one of them- ever.  with my son, i was sick as all get out, but with this one, just fatigue and REALLY tender and engorged breasts.  what still bothers me is that my body ultimately took so long to reject the tissue, yet i started spotting before the baby died.  so, that's all very confusing and upsetting.  it was such a shock because my previous ob always told me my pregnancy with my son was "textbook".  

i've started back on the prenatals and i'm going to start exercising regularly and just make everything well for a new baby to live.  that's all we can really do, i suppose.  i'm still frightened, and as one woman said, she will never face pregnancy the same way ever again.  we're all in the same boat, more or less, and i hope that we all have a much better outcome in the future.

much love to you all
kourtney  

[Angie_M]

I also just had a missed miscarriage last week.  Although mine was quite a bit later than most I think.  I had a normal u/s at 11 wks so we told everyone we were pregnant.  I then heard the heartbeat at 12 wks at a routine checkup - it was 155 bpm which I was told was perfect.  When I went in for my prenatal checkup at 16 wks there was no heartbeat and the baby had died at apparently 12-13 wks.  We were absolutely shocked because we felt that everything would be fine because I experienced no spotting or cramping.  My obgyn performed a D&C one day after finding out that the baby had died.  

This miscarriage seems to have happened to us quite a bit later than most, which the obgyn is attributing to a problem with the placenta rather than the development of the baby since the baby seemed completely normal at 11 wks.  The placenta could just no longer support the needs of the growing baby.

I also attributed the loss of most of my symptoms to ending my first trimester, other than I didn't seem to be growing bigger like I expected.  But being my first pregnancy I didn't know what to expect and didn't think it was unusual to not feel any movement yet.  My breasts are also still swollen and tender even 1 week after the D&C.  Maybe due to hormones as they induced a "mini labour" prior to the D&C to dilate my cervix.  It was absolutely traumatic and I can't even think about getting pregnant again.  It all seems too raw right now to consider but everyone keeps saying I should try again.  It's going to take a lot of time to get my confidence back up to start trying again.  I'm also concerned about my husband because he is not one to talk about his feelings.

[zeebear]

i have been reading all the threads on here and i had a mmc at 10 weeks went to scan at 8 w 5d they saw heartbeat i just knew something was wrong even though they were saying i was alright  i don't have any children so i thought it was just me being my first pregnancy!!!! i am 36 i had the d and c on 3rd april going to drs tomorrow to see if i can start conceiving again no idea when i will ovulate or have my period but time is of the essence  
i hope we can all keep each other updated  take care
Charleyxx

[sunny469]

I have been lurking for a while out here.  I figured after reading all of these posts I'd also tell my story.  I am currently 6 wks 6 days.  No heartbeat as of my 6 week appt.  So I'm very nervously awaiting my u/s tomorrow at 7 weeks.  I still have symptoms, but not all of the symptoms I've had with my successful preg's.  So I could go either way with believing it's only the hormones and the baby is not viable, or maybe it will be OK this time.

This will be my 5th miscarriage.  I have 2 healthy girls.  Between them I had an ectopic pregnancy from scar tissue resulting from a surgery where my OB prescribed too much Clomid and my ovary hyperstimulated and I had to have my ovary removed.  That was in '06.  And the ectopic was a few months after the ovary surgery.

After my second child was born in '07, I got preg again 4 months later and everything was great!  We had a level 2 ultrasound at 11 weeks and everything was fine.  No chromo problems - healthy.  However, at 16 weeks, there was no heartbeat at my normal appt.  They figured I had lost the baby a week earlier.  I had no symptoms of miscarriage and chose to be induced, deliver, and cremate my baby.

After that, I had another missed miscarriage.  There was never a heartbeat with that one, and we kept checking back all the way through 8 weeks gestation, but the heartbeat never started.  I had a natural m/c at 9 weeks 2 days.

After that, I had my 4th miscarriage, another missed miscarriage.  This one was a blighted ovum.  At 7 weeks, we only saw a sac, and no fetus ever developed.  Again,  I had a natural m/c around 9 weeks.

I am not sure what to think.  I'm seeing the best RE in the state, and have had numerous tests, but they all come back normal.  I have to believe it's something to do with my body or my hormones.  I just pray this baby is OK, but I am scared since we didn't see a heartbeat at the 6 week u/s.  

Hope that helps some of you.  

[kayaleeah]

hi i had a missed mis, i started bleeding on the 30th april and i had to be ruched in to hospital on the 5th  coz i was bleeding like mad and the result was  the baby got stuck so the doc had to pull him/her out wish by the way hurt like hell he even said would u like to take it home but i tought it would be for the best if they keeped it as i wasent in the right frame. i have 3 healthy girls ,all i ever think about now is that i may killed it some how is that normal , and i want to get preggy as fast as i can i just hope when it happens that every thing will be fine as i dont think i can take it again xx ty guys

[curiousgrge]

Thank you all for sharing your stories, it was a tremendous help. This was my first pregnancy.  I took test the came back neg then the next month I missed period again and it was positive. I went to my OB for the first time on May27th, I should have been 12 wks the baby was 8wks2d . I was wonderful to see the u/s  but then the bad news there was no heartbeat, so it was a mmc. My husband was not there so the next day we went for another u/s with a different OB. with the same results. I scheduled a D/C for the 30th.  

It was hard to think for the last month my body had all the symptoms but the baby was dead. My sister-in-law called me when she found out to tell me her sis went in and there was no heartbeat then one week there was one. I knew it was not case for me but it made me feel guilty about no waiting. Emotionaly i could not take a week of false hope, but I was still 2nd guessing.  The day of I started bleeding so i knew i made the right decision. So go with your own feeling and know that you know best.

The D/C was the best decision, one of my friends went through it was the pills and she wished she did the D/C, my mother had a mc and ended up doing the D/C anyway.  It is a weeks since I found out, and I feel so alone. My husband has been wonderful but it is hard for him to understand. It is hard to grieve when you feel like no one understands. I can talk about it without crying but  I went through the pregnancy aisle at the grocery store and started to cry.  I know we will try again but I am so scared of being worried the whole pregnancy about mc.  Sorry this was so long. Hopefully this help someone, it helped me write it.

[Carebear82]

I just found out I had a missed miscarriage.  I went to the doctor for a routine appointment at 9 weeks.  She had a small US machine and said she was just going to take a peek.  I was so excited to see the baby.  Then she said she was having trouble seeing the baby and it's heartbeat.  I was schedule for a transvaginal US the next day.  As soon as the tech started I knew it was bad news.  I watched her measure the baby and I new it was to small.  I was 9 week 2 days and the baby was only 7 weeks 5 days.  We went to meet with the doctor and she gave me the option to wait it out or have the D and C.  I am leaning towards the D and C.  I feel like a walking coffin and want to move on.  I am wondering if anyone who has gone through this felt closure from the D and C.  I have had no symtoms (symptoms) of MC and find it hard to believe this is happening.  Also any grieving advice for my husband and I.  I worry about this affecting our marriage.

[curiousgrge]

I went with the D/C.  And I am glad I did, I knew I could not wait to let the mc happen the thought of the baby was too hard for me.  It gave me closure and I feel  I am ready to try again. Now I just have to wait for the OK from the Dr.  I went back to work 2 days after the procedure; it was good to have something else to think about.

Grieving will be a process.  My husband is not very religious so he looks at the science of it, something went wrong with the genetics. Also we never saw a heartbeat so that made it alittle easier. It is hard for men to understand what it meant to you to be pregnant.  I told him I am going to be sad and need to cry. When it happens he tells me he loves me and it will be ok (then cracks joke to get me to smile).  

I find I am strong enough to talk about it without crying, but there are moments where is it disappointing not to be pregnant.    I found it harder on people to try to console me so I put on a happy face and had an answer to help them in an awkward situation.  But it was nice to tell people and know that they cared. My sibling did not know we were even pregnant, so it was nice to have their support.  

My advice is to cry when you need to, talk to friends ( I am lucky my best friend also went through a similar situation.) and know it is OK to grieve.  Be honest with your husband and make the decision about the D/C together.  Everyone is different about how the grieve so respect your husband’s process and tell him to respect yours too.  

Best of luck with everything.

[Princessa745]

Like i had stated in an ealier post, i was 9 weeks and 1 day and when i went the baby was the size of a 6 week 3 day fetus. I had no symptoms of miscarriage. That was a friday. I couldn't stand to wait for my baby to come out on its own. I couldnt' stand to see if so I went with the D&C. I'm glad i did, my boyfriend went with me. I was at work the next day....

[Sadandshocked]

I just found out that I had a missed miscarriage. I thought I was 10 weeks, but it turns out that the fetus died at 8 weeks 5 days. I had been having brown bleeding, but the doctor said that could have been from the cervix being bruised from sex or from the ultrasound (there was a heartbeat at 8 weeks). I am feeling so many emotions right now. I am really disappointed and, obviously, I am terrified that this will happen again. I know that so many people have miscarriages and I am trying to be positive and look toward the future, but it's really hard right now. I am definitely going to have a D/C as soon as possible. I won't be able to move on with my life until then.

[Princessa745]

I know how you feel. I felt the same way. But a few months have gone by and i feel emotionally better and stronger. At the time i just wanted to stay in bed under the covers and cry, but i have come to terms with the fact that it happened for a reason and if it did it was because their was something wrong. So i know its hard and you feel sad, but try to be positive and hopefully you will have a BFP soon!! Lots of SBD to you and everyone!!!

[heidifrews]

hi guys i have never commented on here before but wat you are doing for one another is fantastic!
i have also suffered a missed miscarriage and truely feel your pain, like most of you i went for my 12 week scan to find my baby had no heart beat but the baby was only very small on the screen so another scan was booked for 10 days later. my second scan was today and comfirmed my worst nightmare my baby had actually stopped growing when the cell division was taking place (so just after implantation.) i am ment to be almost 14 weeks pregnant today and my body has still not let go naturally of my baby and like most of you i did not see this coming! i just want to wish everyone here the best of luck for the future and hope me will all become mummys soon!! baby dust sent to all****** x x x x

[Goldy005]

Wow!  

30 years ago I went through this!  I still have moments where I re-live the horrible time.

I found out at 20 weeks that the baby had stopped growing... and just 3 weeks earlier my mother-in-law was looking at me funny and related to me how she had had a 'missed' pregnancy years earlier.  I was as far along as my sister-in-law and we would always be comparing things...  but I wasn't getting any bigger. The doctor told me there wasn't any heart beat that my body would pass it out.  I was 22 years old.. and waited a whole month.  Don't wait!!!  We were a small town, and the doctor situation wasn't good.  I started to have minor cramps one day but to this day, I think it was just me thinking I had waited long enough and a month with a dead baby inside me just didn't sound healthy.  Plus I was tired of being in public and not knowing what to say when people asked me how far along I was.  It was an awkward situation to be in. So my sister-in-law insisted I come to her larger town and we went to a woman's hospital where they induced labor.  The next morning I was told I could leave, and by the time I got back to my sister-in-laws house, I was hemorrhaging.  We went to her doctors office and he suctioned out my uterus right then without any pain reliever and I was passed out for hours.  I couldn't believe he did that.  
So please don't wait.. just schedule that DNC with your doctor who you know and trust.

I now have three wonderful children.

[cindy450]

i went in at 6 weeks to see the doc because i am a high risk pregnancy. He did an ultrasound and did not see a sac. I was sent to the hospital to check my hg levels and to see if i had a missed miscarriage. My levels came back high and i was then sent for a more high resolution ultrasound. Once again no sac.... Now i have to go back on monday to see if my levels are going higher...early pregnancy..or lower missed miscarriage. Today,friday, i started to slightly stain brown but no blood.... i am just really confused because i still feel pregnant nauseous etc... just wish i knew what was going on.... Why do doctors make you wait so long to tell you what is going on?? Cindy

[hopekat]

Tuesday (9/29) I went in for my first official prenatal appointment. Prior to this on 9/10  I had gone to a clinic which I did not know beforehand was operated and overseen by conservative Christians but they gave me a free ultrasound at the time when I estimated that my pregnancy was 6 weeks, 5 days but their ultrasound indicated it was only 4 weeks 4 days. I was confused by this but not overly concerned because I told myself they didn't know how to use the machine (because the woman who actually did the scan was training to be an ultrasound tech, and there was an actual tech there but he didn't impress me as being particularly intelligent) or that maybe what was being measured was actually from the day of conception (which would have meant mid-August, which seems reasonable to me, a person without vast knowledge about medical stuff)..anyway, I was not bothered by this information. Everything seemed OK at the time. I was having symptoms such as increased heat, considerable breast growth and tenderness excessive salivation, very mild and occasional nausea, heartburn.. I had told my b/f on the day I found out I was pregnant (8/26) and he was so happy and supportive even though I was scared because I am a recent college grad and have not been able to find a job yet. I still pursued trying to find a job and in the meantime my boyfriend took amazing care of me, even purchased some pregnancy books off the Internet (2 for me and 1 for him..it was very sweet, I was touched) and I went ahead the next week to schedule the appointment for this past Tuesday. My b/f took the day off work to be  able to come with me. The prior scan was completely out of my mind. I saw a midwife at a local clinic and they were by good graces able to fit me in for an u/s that day. My b/f was sitting next to me and we watched the screen with anticipation and the tech was searching, probing, moving the damn thing around in me for a long time without speaking. Then she took measurement after measurement before asking me, are you SURE about the date of your LMP? Of course I was, I knew it was 7/25 because my periods had been very regular and the reason I was aware of the pregnancy just 32 days after my LMP was because I was waiting for it and it hadn't come. I had done 2 urine tests one day (one positive, one inconclusive) then 2 the next (both positive) back in August. So she finally told me something wasn't right b/c the pregnancy only measured about 6 wks, where I should have been 9 weeks 3 days, and she detected no heartbeat... and I was pretty much in shock for the rest of the visit. The doc took a blood sample for my HCG, told me to come back in 2 days (Thurs), which I did (and believe me the rest of that day and the next were incredibly agonizing) and then to call Friday for my results. They were able to tell me by about 2PM that my HCG had dropped from 14k to 10k units over the course of less than 48 hours so my pregnancy is not viable. This is devastating even though it wasn't a planned pregnancy, we really wanted it once we knew about it. Even with worrying about finances, moving closer to family, I had (and still have) the utmost faith in my partner because he's a good man, definitely the best I've ever been with. Initially he was much more emotional about what was going on than I was able to be. As soon as we walked out of the clinic on Tuesday my logical side turned on so I wouldn't have to deal with the painful emotions. Though that night when I got on the Internet, the more I read, the more I knew that this was very unlikely to be just a fluke, and the HCG results finally confirmed for everyone the horrible awareness that I've had since Tuesday. I had not scheduled a D&C or anything else (on Tues the midwife told me since the size of the pregnancy was only 6 wks that it could be medicinally aborted but this was not mentioned to me over the phone Friday) mainly because I do not have insurance yet (stupid reason) and the more I have read on the internet the more confused I get. I feel like I could deal with having a natural miscarriage but then again I am afraid that it will be incomplete and lead me to be ill and ultimately need D&C eventually? I read (maybe on here or maybe elsewhere) that if you take the pill for it that it can cause a lot of pain and you still risk an incomplete miscarriage. So I guess all I can do now is pray, wait, stay close to home, and cry...it just kills me that I should now be 10 wks but nothing has turned out as it should.. Anyone have any advice? Is there anything else you can do at home to help the process along?

[chappellmiss]

Its amazing to see so many people are experiencing the same thing.  I had a missed misscarriage last week. I Thought i was 11 weeks but baby died at 9... its been a really hard and sad thing to deal with how ever common you get told it is!  I had found it strange that i didnt have any morning sickness at all . Through out my last pregnancy(also sadly ending in miscarriage) I had had morning sickness all the way through... really bad ,,so had somethiung to compare it too. Did anyone else have no morning sickness before their misscarriage? just wondering if its linked???
were still trying and hoping that next time is the time :(  Good luck to everyone trying to conceive xx

[Tina42803]

I went in for my first initial pregnancy check up at 10 weeks. The obgyn couldn't find the heart beat at first then after a minute or two she claimed she found it and said it was strong and healthy. I was scheduled to have a 13 week ultrasound and when I went they said their was no heart beat or blood flow, the doctor said the baby measured only 8 weeks...so what I wondered is what the hell did my obgyn hear when she did the dobler...at 10 weeks she said she heard of a healthy heart beat but yet the baby only measured at 8 weeks old...I'm heart broken it's been 5 days since my d&c and I still can't get over it I still find myself depressed and crying out of nowhere mourning the loss of my baby...thank goodness I have a healthy 6 yr old son that keeps my spirits high...but how after having a healthy boy 6 yrs ago with no complications am I dealing with a missed miscarriage and again was my baby already dead when I went in to my 10 week check up? I feel for all of you out there I don't know how to get over this...all I know is I want to get pregnant right away I want that feeling back again I have nothing left to look forward to....my advice to all of you always have an ultrasound done with every check up don't trust the dobler...

[ericjess83]

I've had two miscarriages and the first one I was supposed to be 8 weeks and the baby died at 5 weeks so I had a d/c done. The second time I was supposed to be 13 weeks the baby died at 5 weeks and 6 days it was very unexpected I am pregnant again now 9 weeks and 5 day hoping that this pregnancy is going ok I'm havn insurance problems so I have been unable to see the doctor I am takibg vitamins so I'm just waiting now to see if the baby is okay or not everyone pray please me and my husband want this baby more than anything in the world.

[skwairpeg]

This was my first pregnancy, I am 34 years old.  I had an ultrasound at 7 weeks 1 day and saw my baby's heart beating away nice and strong at 132 bpm.  My progesterone was sort of low (12.9) so my doc put me on endometrin (vaginal suppositories) and I went on my merry way.  Went back to the doc at 8 weeks 5 days for a PAP and breast exam, doc said everything felt and looked normal but he couldn't find a heartbeat with the doppler.  He asked me to come back at 10 weeks 1 day so we could listen for it again, saying it was just a little early to hear the heartbeat.  Came back for the next appt. and again couldn't hear the heartbeat, so he sent me and my husband in for ultrasound.  The tech couldn't see anything doing the belly ultrasound, she did a vaginal one and my doc entered the room just as she measured my baby at 8 weeks and said there was no heartbeat.  

Earlier that week I had noticed I wasn't feeling as nauseous and my energy was coming back.  My breasts were still tender.  I had no idea my baby had died.  I thought my other symptoms were backing off because I was getting close to the end of the first trimester.

I had a d&e (dilation and evacuation, not curettage) the following day (last Friday) and have a follow up exam next Monday.  My doctor says we can try again after I have two menstrual cycles which means sometime in late January.  I am afraid to try again and possibly go through this again but it took so long to conceive this one, I don't want to miss my opportunity to have a child.  

After the surgery my pregnancy symptoms just vanished.  My belly was immediately smaller and my breast tenderness was gone within a day.  It is a very sad situation to be in.  My husband is being very supportive and loving but I feel a bit guilty not being able to keep my chin up since he is grieving too.  I am still in a bit of denial even though my baby is gone.  I keep thinking that it isn't fair and that I want my baby back.  I was so happy being pregnant.  I was so ready to become a mom.  It's like I'm having an identity crisis now, I don't know who I am, I don't want to be who I was before I became pregnant but I'm no longer carrying a baby.  It is a lonely feeling.  

It was exactly one month after we found out about the pregnancy that I had to have the d&e.  I could not face going back to work today, I need one day alone at home to collect myself before I can go in and face all the people I told about the pregnancy.  I don't want to see their sympathetic faces or have to endure any hugging.  I just want to sleep and be with my husband.  I've started taking sleeping pills at night so I can get to sleep and stay asleep through the night.  Waking up is a nightmare when it all comes rushing back to me.  I am lucky to have a supportive hubby.

I'm so sorry to all of you who have gone through this.  It is so painful.  I had no idea how common this is until it happened to me.  

[Smee78]

it is of real comfort to know i am not alone in this.

I am currently off work after having a missed miscarriage last week. It is the sadest thing i have ever experienced in my life.
I went for a routine scan at 8 weeks (on friday). As soon as I saw the baby I knew something was wrong - the consultant confirmed my worst fears. The baby's heart had stopped beating a couple of days ago at 7 and a half weeks.

He then went out to point out the baby's head, at which point I just wanted to scream " i don't care about the baby's head, it's dead!".  I am now struggling to get this image out of my head. It would have been so much easier to deal with if it didn't look like a baby. The fact that I had absolutely no symptoms is also hard to deal with. I always thought that as long as I hadn't had any spotting, the baby would be fine. I didn't have any morning sickness, which worried me a bit, but apparently not everyone gets it, so not sure if it's linked.

I hadn't told many people abot my pregnancy, as I knew I was at high risk. I have PCOS and have insulin resistance but was following a low GI diet, which helps control testosterone levels, as well as taking Cyclogest to improve progesterone levels.

I have started to tell people what has happened and all have been so supportive. I can understand "skwairpeg"'s point about facing people's sympathy as it sometimes makes things worse. I just answered the door to a flower delivery and nearly cried again. My husband has been absolutely fantastic, comimg straight home from work when I found ot and hiding all the baby stuff straight away. I think it's important to have people around you.

I am seeing my midwife tomorrow to get referred for medical help to expel the fetal tissue and placenta and while i am not looking forward to it happening, I want to have this done asap, as at the moment I feel I cannot move on. It is horrible knowing that it's all still inside me.

Next time, my gynae says he'll put me on metformin, which is supposed to help with insulin resistance. However, if it was an abnormality, I know that there's nothing that could have been done to prevent it.

I loved being pregnant and can't wait to be ready again, both emotionally and physically to conceive again. It's hard, but I will try to not get so excited next time, as it has made it so hard now to deal with.

Good luck to all of you and sorry you've been through this too x

[Nettie208]

I went for a scan after some bleeding on monday, thought evrything would be fine, but baby only measured 6 weeks when I should be almost 12 weeks. The bleeding got heavier Tuesday, but was still very on and off, so i would not let myself give up hope. Been for blood tests this morning to check pregnancy hormones and although they are still high they have dropped since monday which confirms a miscarriage. was unable to accept it till today.
Heartbroken as we were planning to tell everyone this week.

[nun00]

I lost my baby Oct 7th. We had just told our parents and close friends. It was really hard on me. Doctor told me i either had a m/c or ecoptic. I was 7 weeks along. I didn't have to do a dc since my body did it naturally. It really hurts. It's over a month now and i finally feel like i can talk about it w/o crying....Time seems to really help. I feel as thought i'm ready TTC. My body's back to normal. I'm really scaried it can happen again. If it was a ecoptic preg. it can happen again. Next time i get preg. i have to go in for blood tests until my levels reach 1500, then a U/S asap. scaried....

[Nettie208]

Thanks for your support.
I'm so sorry you've been through this too.
It's an awful experience and it's so sad so many of us go through this.
This time last week I was so happy and blissfully unaware anything might go wrong.
I'm very grateful that everything seems to be happening naturally as I wouldn't want any proceedures in hospital. I have to go back for more blood tests next week to check hormone levels. How long does it take for these to come down to 'normal'?
I'm so emotional.
I'd got so carried away thinking about this baby for weeks, knowing the due date and working out when to go on maternity leave. Can't believe I nearly got to my 12wk scan. :-(
I hope you can be strong and TTC again.
It's good to know time heals.
At least they will give you earlier check ups next time, which will reassure you.
I truely hope all goes well for you next time.
Thoughts & prayers
Nettie xxx

[ashnron]

i had a m/c on October 25, it will be 4 weeks sunday. My menstrual cycle has not returned. The past 3 or 4 days I have felt really nauseous, a little tired, and i am really hungry. I feel like I did when I was pregnant. I took a test this morning, but it said negative. I thought maybe it was too soon to take one, but I could just really not be pregnant. Has this happened to anyone else?

[Nettie208]

Sorry you have had a m/c too.
Try to stay positive.
It could just be too soon to test
I really hope you are pregnant again, but try not to think about it too much.
Love & prayers
nettie xxx

[Nettie208]

I can't believe I didn't realise I hadn't actually had the miscarriage yet!
I thought the period type bleeding was it.
Then Friday afternoon I had painful contractions for hours followed by very heavy bleeding which didn't stop. In the end I had to go to hospital in an ambulance! Had fluids, blood transfusions, etc and stayed over night. Now I am home I just can't stop crying.
Has anyone else been through this after having a missed miscarriage?

[nun00]

I haven't had that happen to me. But just wondering how you are doing? My prayers are with you also:)
Take Care

[PeainaPod]

I started bleeding in the a.m. Saturday, Dec. 19th and immediately knew something was wrong. The on call nurse suggested I go home, get off my feet and unless the bleeding worsened, to wait until Monday to seek medicial assistance. I had an ultrasound on Monday and there was no heartbeat. Hearing those words out loud was so painful. I was supposed to be about 9 weeks along (based on my laster period) but the baby only measured 7.5 weeks. Given it was early, I was able to avoid the D&C and let things happen on their own. I miss my baby and the feeling of being pregnant so much I can hardly breath. My sister is pregnant and is 13 weeks. We were supposed to go through this together and now her joy hightens my pain. I'm so happy for her but so sad for myself. We had been trying for 1.5 years and I finally thought I was going to get what I always wanted, a child of my own. I feel like I did everything right but I can't help but blame myself. I want to try again but I'm so scared and know I need to wait at least 1-2 cycles.

[curiousgrge]

I had a d/c in May then no period until mid July. I felt like I might have symptoms and to a test. It was negative. Then I missed my Aug. and Sept period, had Oct and Nov. Now I missed my Dec. and had a negaive test. It is frustrating to not have a normal period. I tried the ovulation predictors and that was a waste of money. I think I started them to late in my cycle. It has not helped that my sister in law is pregnant and my brother is oblivous to my pain and keeps telling me all about it. I want to be happy for them but it makes it worse. I hate that this is such a lonely loss. It was my due date on Dec 5th, I was suprised how well I did. I miss being pregnant and hope it happens soon.

Good Luck to Everyone and Merry Chistmas

[klaasje]

Being around other pregnant ladies after miscarriage is very difficult.  I've had two miscarriages this year, one at 6 wks and a missed miscarriage at 16 weeks.  Now my sister and sister-in-law are both expecting.  They talk about it all the time, and i am happy for them, but feel so much pain still myself.  I have no children and am scared to become pregnant again.  

[Nettie208]

Hi nun00.
I am feeling much better now thank you, much more healthy, although still tearful at times when I think about being pregnant.
It is over 5wks since my mc now and still bleeding-which is really getting me down :-(
How are you doing?
Peainapod, curiousgrge, klaasje- so sorry for your losses. Hope you are ok and getting better slowly. It will take a long time to get over a mc. It is so heartbreaking. It makes me so sad that so many ladies have to go through this.
Sending you all ((((hugs)))) & prayers
nettie x

[babegirlisa5]

Sorry to hear about all your loses,I went into my ultrasound thinking everything was going to be ok it was my 18week ultrasound,only to find out that my little girl passed away at 13 weeks 8 days.When I went to the doctor she was very surprised to here about it and revered me to another doctor to get a D&E I had to Wait 2 weeks before I got in to see them and have the procedure done.The entire time my belly was still growing and everyone was congratulating me on being pregnant.It was the hardest and longest two weeks of my life.
This all happened 4 months ago and my husband and I have been trying to get pregnant again with no luck.Has anyone had a baby after a missed miscarriage and if so how long did it take?

[sag2272]

My husband and I went in for our 10 wk appt. yesterday.  Went through all sorts of questions, advise, etc, really excited.  Then had the u/s, and they couldn't find the heart beat.  I couldn't believe it.... I was having all the symptoms, except no morning sickness.  That worried me at first, but I read that not everyone gets it.  They say the baby died at 6 weeks.  I can't believe I haven't noticed anything.  We told most of the family at Christmas because it was getting close to the appt and I was feeling more confident since nothing had happened yet.  I cannot describe the pain I am feeling.  The doctor wants to check my hormones again tomorrow just to make sure, and then I will probably have a d&c.  I would like to get it over with as I keep holding my belly thinking about it.  From reading everyone's posts, I'm sure it gets better, but it just hurts so bad right now.

[Silver77]

I've had a terrible ordeal because of my missed miscarriage. Our baby died at around six weeks and we found out when I went in for the first ultrasound at 7 1/2 weeks. I went back a week later for another ultrasound, just to be sure, and then I took Cytotec to induce a miscarriage. The first time I took it, I was in a lot of pain, but that was it--no bleeding--except I did pass out and turn blue because of a bad reaction to the Vicodin my OB prescribed. I took the Cytotec again the next day and felt nothing. My doctor was convinced that it would work the third time (although I don't know why!) but again, nothing happened except for some light spotting. For about a week, I just had brown spotting, but then it turned into a regular period flow on Friday. On Saturday, the blood became red and the flow became really heavy. I was changing a diaper-like overnight pad every hour for about six hours, maybe longer. At about midnight, I had just gotten up from the toilet when I felt a rush of flow coming from my vagina. I hurried back to the toilet and felt this deluge of blood come out of me that ended with a "plop". I felt certain that the embryo and sac had fallen out of me, but it took me fifteen minutes of crying there before I could even look. Once I finally did, I just saw a whole lot of blood, but figured the blood was obstructing any view I might have of the sac. After that, the bleeding suddenly slowed to just a little spotting again. I really thought it was all over. Now it's Monday and I went to see my OB earlier today. The ultrasound showed that the fetus is still inside me and he recommended that I have a D & C because he doesn't see me miscarrying anytime soon. (I guess it was a big clot that fell out of me, not the baby, which I felt silly for not realizing, but I haven't had an experience with miscarrying before.) I have surgery scheduled for Friday. I wish that I had just had a D & C after the second ultrasound. I wanted to miscarry naturally because I was afraid of surgery, but I'm telling you, it has not been worth it AT ALL. It's been very emotionally and physically trying. I've had to deal with all of this terrible cramping, all to no end, and even right now, I'm having horrible cramps. I have to work Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, and I don't know how I'm going to manage. Anyway, I just hope everything goes smoothly with the D & C. I can't take any more of this. To all the women out there suffering through a missed miscarriage, hang in there. That's what I'm trying to do!

[Nettie208]

I'm so sorry you've had to go through all of that.
You've had a really rough time and you are being very brave.
I bled for 7wks after my mc and ended up having d&c in the end too.
I wish I had checked my email earlier I would have said try not to worry the procedure -it is over very quickly and I felt much better after having it, although I was a little tearful when I first woke up.
I have found lots of support on the babyexpert website, on the ttc after mc forum, it is much busier with lots of ladies on there to offer you support and advice after mc.
I couldn';t hav gotten through it without them.
so sorry for your loss.
thoughts & prayers
nettie xxx

[Nettie208]

so sorry for your loss.
You had such an awful experience. That must have been so hard for you.
I had mmc at 12 weeks, so I really feel for you.
There are lots of ladies on the babyexpert website forums who have gone on to have healthy babies after mc, it has kept me going to read of their positive stories, think the forum is called pregnancy after miscarriage.
there is also lots of support on the ttc after mc forum.
Hope you can be strong and ttc again nettie xxx

[Nettie208]

so sorry for your loss.
That must have been really hard after telling everyone your good news at Christmas, but at least everyone knows and you can hopefully have lots of support.
I had to tell everyone-family friends etc as i was very poorly in hospital after heavy bleed, so even our neighbours found out about mc! But in a way i am glad of that because i had plenty of support and people to talk to in those weeks after mc. i think it `really helped to talk everything through as it is such a big thing. you don't realise how upsetting a mc is, until it happens to you.
I hope you can be strong and get through this.
Like I said to the other ladies i have found the baby expert forums really supportive for me at this time. hope you have plenty of support around you.
hugs & prayers
nettie xxx

[mummywannabe]

I am 36 yrs old and didn't think my husband and I could get pregnant. We did and at 6.5wks in December went for our first check-up together. We had an ultrasound and saw the baby's heartbeat, 115bpm, they wanted to check a week later to make sure that the rate had increased so we went in about 10days later as it was just after Christmas. The ultrasound showed a good strong heart beat of 130bpm. I went to the doctor yesterday for my 11wk check on my own and she tried to listen with an external doppler for the heartbeat but couldn't find it, she rushed me through for an ultrasound and there was no heartbeat, they said the baby stopped growing maybe 10 days ago. I have had no spotting at all, things were just continuing as normal, my breasts were slightly less tender but only in the last day or so, and I wasn't worried when I went in. I am so upset after having had 2 ultrasounds and seen it's heart beating twice before to suddenly not see it but see the baby still there and bigger than at the last ultrasound. The doctor was very nice and gave me the options of natural mc or a D&C. I am not sure it's truly set in yet and of course I now have to tell my family and close friends about it. I have had some stress at work which I wonder if contributed but having a science background I know that truly something must have been wrong with the development of the baby, it doesn’t make it any easier though. Whether we will try again I don't know, a family member of mine had a similar experience at a similar age to me and 18mnths later they are still not pregnant having continued to try. It seems so hard right now. I have a D&C booked for Monday and next week I am supposed to re-interview for my job, which I have asked them to move until the end of the week due to a ‘surgery’. Right now I am not in the right mind for dealing with anything but the MMC and Monday. I need to read more stories of success after this, let me know where I can find them….

[Nettie208]

Hi Mummywannabe,
so sorry for your loss.
Things will get better with time, but I know that's very hard to believe in those early days.
I had mmc in Nov, so understand how emotional it is. I remember being in denial one min, thinking they'd say everything was ok at next app, then in floods of tears the next. I read lots on the internet that explained why mc occurs and it helped me to accept that it `wasn't anything I'd done, you mustn't blame yourself.
As I said to the ladies above there are lots of success stories after mc on BE website, in ttc after mc and pregnancy after mc.
Sending you (((hugs)))
& thinking of you at this difficult time.
xxx

[mummywannabe]

Thank you Nettie for your kind words and hugs. I am now 5 day post D&C and feeling much better although still sad. Like you I read a lot in the internet over the past week including a study on mmc's that was done in Europe and made me feel so much better as to why this may have happened. They basically found that most (>90%) of the mmc where due to chromosomal abnormalities or severe deformities. I know this wouldn't be a comfort to some people but to me I am glad I did not carry this baby longer or get to the point where I had to choose at the amniocentesis what to do if they found then that there was something severely wrong, the decision was made for me, and I now realize that if the decision was left to me, whatever decision I made, I would have wondered forever if it was the right one. My husband and I think we will now try again and I have read so many stories about successful pregnancies post mc that I feel more reassured that this will happen again for us. My week this week was a complete nightmare, and quite possibly one of the worst weeks of my life but I made it through, I did my interview (which went well) and met my many, many work deadlines, and in a sad way I think all of that work kept my mind active enough to not dwell on the happenings at the beginning of this week. I am now going to look forward to my next healthy pregnancy – whenever that may happen :0) (((hugs))) back to you. How are you feeling now?

[RainySunny]

Hi mummywannabe,
I'm another mummywannabe who losts her baby. My D&C was on Jan 11 and what this month left me is only tears.
Here in China, doctors suggests resting of 6 month before next pregnancy, but I can hardly wait.
All say that one mc does not mean anything about next pregnancy.
You will have a healthy baby. I have my finger crossed for you.

[angelbabies]

iv had 3 m/c's my 1st one was missed, i had change symptoms i only found out by having an u/s scan that the baby had died, i now have a daughter and while pregnant with her i was worried as i had no pregnancy symptoms at all apart from a missed period and was getting ready because i thort i was goin g to micarry agen but she was born full term heathy baby, if you worried i would see your dr get him to check you hcg levals and mayb ask for a u/s...when i was 10+5 weeks my midwife was able to hear my babys hartbeat if you far enough you could ask then to check. good luck, hope its ok x

[red327amb]

I am 9 weeks pregnant and was so excited.  This is my first pregnancy with a wonderful man that  I married.  I went on monday to have my first ultrasound and found out there was no heart beat and the baby was only measuring 7 weeks  with no movement whatsoever.  My ob/gyn wanted my to  get a second ultrasound.  I went the next day only to find out that not only there is no heartbeat there is no blood flow.  No bloodflow to the placenta, the umbilical cord or the baby.  Im very scared and I still feel like Im pregnant.  I opted to have D and C on friday because I cannot bear the idea of waiting it out another month or so for this emotional heartache to continue on..   Im very religous person and the thought of going through this procedure has been a difficult decision.  I know that this isnt considered an abortion because the baby is already dead, but I still feel the guilt.

[Jessiejo85]

Just wondering if any one is in my same situation.  I have had 2 healthy pregnancies but I just went in at 8 weeks with my 3rd and had an ultrasound.  There was a 8 week sack but no baby…..I am still feeling pregnant and doing GREAT .  How is this possible?  My Doc. Is doing blood work to see if my hormone levels are going down but I wont know anything for a couple of days.  I guess my question is ,  If my poor baby died so early on that they cant even see it,  why haven’t I miscarried yet? And why is the sack still growing?  I should be about 10 weeks along in my pregnancy now.

[shellann628]

So sorry to hear of all your losses.  I went in for a routine ultrasound on Wednesday and they told me that the baby had died 10 hours prior.  The worst part was seeing the baby up on the screen with all it's fingers and toes but no heartbeat.  I'm getting a D&C tomorrow because they want to do tests on the baby and remaining tissue.

I woke up the morning that the baby died suddenly feeling no signs of pregnancy.  (I had thrown up the day before due to morning sickness)  I felt great, as if I'd had a full night's sleep, no nausea, heartburn, etc.  Thought it was because I was nearing the end of the first trimester.  : (

[melrizza]

I'm so sorry to all of you too.  I found out last week that I had a missed miscarriage.  I was 17 weeks pregnant and had some light brown spotting.  I was already worried becasue I had a missed miscarriage last July. I had an ultrasound that day and confirmed that there was no heartbeat.  I had to go into the hospital and be induced becasue I was so far along.  My husband and I got to hold our tiny baby for a while.  We had to say goodbye becasue they are going to do tests to see why this has happened twice so far along in my pregnancy.  We have a very healthy little girl.  My first pregnancy was perfect so we don't understnad what is going on.  We just hope to try again soon.  Good luck to all of you.

[sadfriend]

I just found out this has happened to a friend but all she said was things have not turned out well. She had her 12 week first ultrasound last week. Your posts have helped me to understand what she meant by things haven't gone well and what she is experiencing while I give her space.
I find these posts helpful to read in this regard. I so hope she will heal from this experience. I am glad she has one child already for her sake.
I would never say that though even though she wasn't expecting this pregnancy. I hope she doesn't blame herself because it was unplanned and unexpected.

[sadfriend]

I just found out this has happened to a friend but all she said was things have not turned out well. She had her 12 week first ultrasound last week. Your posts have helped me to understand what she meant by things haven't gone well and what she is experiencing while I give her space.
I find these posts helpful to read in this regard. I so hope she will heal from this experience. I am glad she has one child already for her sake.
I would never say that though even though she wasn't expecting this pregnancy. I hope she doesn't blame herself because it was unplanned and unexpected.

[martinandemma]

My condolences to all of you, my girlfriend and I planned for what turned out to be a missed miscarriage 14 weeks 4 days. The embryo/fetus stopped development at 6 weeks, needles to say we're both devastated. My healthy non smoking non drinking partner of 6 years was up a 7.30am Saturday 22nd May 2010 for a routine swim followed by a trip to a facial when after a visit to the toilet resulted in a sighting of blood.. i drove her to our semi-private hospital for a tummy scan followed by an internal scan which reveled sad news. Monday 24th May 2010 another tummy and internal scan to confirm our missed miscarriage. Wednesday 26th May 2010 she is booked for a D & C, this was both our first time round and i hope will be our last. The doctors and the quick response from the hospital have been excellent from blood & urine samples to telephone quiries. Thank you Holles Street Dublin. We will keep trying.

[dante2002]

I found out on Thurs my baby had died 3 days ago. Im devastated. This was very much wanted baby and thought we were safe as had reached 12wks 3 days. but we weren't. I was given a leaflet with 3 options and I chose nature. This will be my 8th miscarriage. I received awful treatment at the antenatal clinic but after compalining Ive been moved too Early Pregnancy Unit and they are suberb. Ive asked too see my baby and was told they encourage this as part of the healing process and give me photos too keep of my baby. The worst part of all this is my body still think it is pregnant and I can "feel" movements yet I know its little heart has stopped. I saw/told the sonographer myself. I know its my mind but that hurts so much. We have to get through fathers day then next week Im going in too deliver my beautiful baby and Im so frightened. I know they will support all my decisions but the fear is eating away and I dont want my baby too go away. Im so sorry for everyones loss, and I hope your futures are better. I know I wont try again, I desperately want a baby too hold again but after all this is over I know I wouldnt cope with the terror of another pregnancy. Good luck all. Try and get as much information as you can before deciding anything at all. I know the antenatal clinic pushed me for d&c but I kept saying no. Im doin this my way now with the help I shouldve got from the beginning. I will get thro this and I sincerely hope you all do too x

[30and6weeks]

I am sorry for all of your losses, as I completely understand the painand emotional turmoil it causes.. Miscarriages at anytime or any stage of pregnancy are upsetting.. After having a early miscarriage at 6 weeks and then having a missedcarriage, I understand the pain from both sides.  For me, I found having a missed miscariage to be  even more devastating, because at the time, I never knew such a thing existed. After you experience a miuscarriage, naturally when you go to the toilet and see no signs of blood you feel reassured, so when you go for u/s to be told that your baby has died, is heartbeaking!!!!I chose to have tablets to bring on the labour so I can miscarry, as the thought of every morning experiencing morning sicknes (in my case all day nausea) and having no baby, was devastatiing, i needed to grieve without all the pregnancy symptoms being a constant reminder.. everyone has different copint mechanisms, but for me that was the best, choose a method that suits you best, just make sure you do some researh!! and dont be scared to ask your docs questions..I must mention this was my third unsuccessful pregancy. Since then I have had 2 successful pregnancies,2 boys 3 and 2,I am now 6 weeks pregnant and have a early scan tomorrow, I am still very nervous, as I am paranoid that it will end up in another missed miscarriage. I will post on here regardless and keep you informed.  

For all who are worried about trying to conceive again, DONT!!! I wont lie, it is scary and worrying, but when you see your baby it is the best feeling, and all previous concerns are forgotten. God Bless xx

[BoulderBear]

It's hard to believe this thread has been going since 2003...it has been very helpful to me.

It's July 2, 2010, and I had a D&C two days ago.  My story starts in April, when my husband (32 y/o) and I (34 y/o) got pregnant on purpose while on vacation in Maui by pretty much looking at each other :).  I was not surprised- we had gotten pregnant by accident while on birth control 5 years ago, and my family is known for amazing fertility and healthy pregnancies.

I knew I was pregnant a week after having our first unprotected sex.  A few weeks later, I confirmed by peeing on a stick.  During our first prenatal appointment at what I thought was 8w 3d based on my LMP, we saw a healthy heart beat via u/s, but they told me the baby was more like 7w 4d.  I didn't think much of that at the time- people are off with their dates all of the time, but it might have been a sign.

I was really sick up until a few days after our u/s.  I thought it was because I was focusing a lot more on getting hydrated after getting advice from my OB- I started drinking 64 oz of water, rather than the 20 oz I was probably getting.  Didn't think anything of it, really- I was still having plenty of nausea and vomiting, dizziness, a growing belly, ravenous hunger, fatigue, really sore breasts, etc, but overall I wasn't feeling as bad as I was.

Normal pregnancy symptoms continued throughout the following month.  I even threw up last week.  Earlier this week, my energy was returning, the constant feeling of sea-sickness was gone, sex drive was returning.  I figured since I was over 11 weeks, it was simply due to the 1st trimester ending.

We went in for a routine nuchal translucency screening this Tuesday.  The tech said nothing as she did a vaginal u/s.  I was thinking. "this baby looks no different than the last u/s 4 weeks ago, and why is the sac SO huge compared to the baby?"  I couldn't see a heartbeat.  It didn't move.  She took so many random photos, and even did a doppler scan, presumably to look for blood flow.  She didn't scan us a CD before left the room.  For the 15 minutes that we waited for the doctor, we told each other we were being paranoid.

First thing the doc said was "I have some bad news", and I knew.  The baby died probably just a few days after we saw it at 7w 4d- it had shrunk a little and was measuring only 7d.  I had no idea how awful it would feel and the tears came hard and fast for the next 24 hrs.  We had told everyone we were pregnant- even people at work since I was throwing up all of the time- thinking that although it was possible that something could happen to the baby, it wasn't going to happen to us.  Nobody in my family has had a miscarriage as far back as anyone can remember.

I opted for a D&C for the next day.  I was horrified to know that I had been carrying a dead fetus around for 4 weeks already with absolutely no clue.  I was having no symptoms of an impending miscarriage- no blood, cramping, etc.  I chose not to have the medication-induced miscarriage- I had done that before with our first accidental pregnancy and it was incredibly painful, traumatic, and messy.  I went under general anesthesia for the D&C, and it was done within an hour.  The pain wasn't very bad at all, and I haven't bled much- the procedure was done 2 days ago, and I'm done bleeding today.  I felt very sad immediately after the procedure, but relieved to be moving on.

You'll notice your belly is noticably smaller right away, particularly if your sac continued to grow like a 12w pregnancy like mine did.  My breasts already feel normal, and I have absolutely no pregnancy symptoms.  Emotionally, it's tough.  I feel alone, empty, and sad.  Since so many people knew, I had plenty of people to share my pain with, but it was hard to have to tell everyone.  Not sure if we'll tell so many people so early next time, but we plan to include friends and family for sure regardless.

To everyone reading this forum for the first time- it's okay to be devastated.  Missed miscarriages are awful since you often get surprised at a routine u/s, you've continued to have normal pregnancy symptoms, and you feel so stupid having talked about your pregnancy and been excited for several weeks just to find out that your baby has been dead the whole time.  Nothing in life prepares you for this.  Somehow, the pity-faces on the people you have to tell make things worse.

Do what you need to do in order to get through it.  Tell your husband and friends how to help you- only you really get how this feels and they won't know what to do. Give yourself time to grieve- I haven't been to work in 3 days, and my doctor told me to wait until two periods have passed to allow my uterus, cervix, and heart to heal before trying again.  I plan to use the time to take crazy long rides on my road bike, rock climb again, and maybe learn how to mountain bike.  I'm going to take advantage of every day that I don't feel sick!  I have to find a silver lining, or the grief will take over.  Know that your husband and family will grieve differently than you and try not to take it personally that your husband may not feel as devastated as you are.

I'm terrified about how to get through the next pregnancy without worrying about every single change in symptoms, but what can you do but power through the best you can?

Best wishes to all, keep sharing your stories, and don't be afraid to be hopeful for the future.

[blessed13]

7-11-10
We all have heart breaking stories and they are all real to each of us.I hope and pray that we all have the baby's we desire.
I am 38 yrs old and have done ivf  six times.I was pregnant with twins but I lost one at 5weeks but the the other one was fine.During an u/s they discovered that I had a pregnancy in my cervix and one in my uterus. So they had to remove the ectopic pregnancy last week, The surgery went well and the pregnancy in my uterus was doing great.I went back Friday and my baby heart stopped at 8wks and 3days I was suppose to at 9wks.Now this week I'm getting a D&C done.Very sad....My body can't go through ivf again and my tubes are blocked.

I believe that everything happens for a reason.Thank all of you for sharing the heartbreak.  

To all for us.....My prayer is that God will reveal Himself to you with a blessing of peace that passes all understanding.

[angelsrejoice]

I just want to say that I was so glad I found this thread and can't believe how many years it's been going on for. I'm sorry for everyone's losses. I'm here because I was diagnosed with a threatened miscarriage but after reading every single post (yes I really did read through all the posts) I realize that what's happening is most likely a MMC. My doctor did not tell me about this.

I found out at my first OB appointment that I have high blood sugar and blood pressure. I have since been working on bringing it under control and did have normal blood pressure today. However last week I was only measuring 6 weeks when I should have been 8 weeks and there was no fetal pole or heartbeat but the sac was normal. I'm sure of my LMP which was May 28, 2010.

So far I have opted to wait. I did have blood drawn at the hospital and my hcg levels are stll rising normally so this gives me hope that perhaps I ovulated late although with my health problems it doesn't look good.

I did have a similar thing happen with my 2nd pregnancy 2 years ago. I was told there was only a sac and no baby and after three weeks of u/s and blood tests that my levels were not matching how far along I should be. The doctor said I needed an immediate D&C which I would not do. I was not happy with the doc so I switched and when I went to the new doc I should have been 10 weeks. Well, she did an U/S and there was my little baby dancing around with a strong heartbeat. He is now 25 months old and I am so glad that I waited. If I had listened to the first doctor I would have killed a perfect baby and it makes me sick. So that's why I'm waiting with this one too. Personally, because of my last experience, I cannot fathom rushing into a D&C when there may be a chance that this little one is still alive.

((HUGS))) to all the women that have been through miscarriage.

[beans4301]

i was just diagnosed with having a missed miscarrage (miscarriage) today..im still numb..this is my 2nd miscarriage in 15 months..ive had 2 perfectly normal pregnancies before this, now all the sudden, we can't keep a baby...my dr said i had low progrestrone levels and put me on meds and light duty..then a blood clot formed next to the baby..i guess you can say it was doomed from the start, but always kept positive thoughts..i really dont want to go for a d & c tomorrow..but, i have to..i know life goes on..it just *****...why does it have to hurt so bad..

[Hope15]

Hello,

I recently went for my first ever 12 week scan feeling pregnant with nausea etc so was completely shocked when they found no heart beat and predicted the baby had stopped growing at 9 weeks.

I think beacuse I was so close to the 12 week mark it was harder to accept and the one concern i have now and one that I havent been able to find much research on is that if there is a chance i may miscarry again, is there any evidence to suggest that it is more likely to happen around the same time (later on in the first trimester)?...naturally im going to be hugely nervous up until my first scan when it happened last time.

Many thanks for any advice.

[apedone]

I went to the doctor for an ultrasound and found out that I had a missed miscarriage at 9 wks 3 days.  I had all the symptoms of pregnancy and couldn't understand how this happened!  The doctor gave it a week to pass, when it didn't I had to take the abortion pill to get it out of my body.  Not only was I walking around with my baby dead inside me, I had to go into full labor by myself to get rid of it.  It was the most horrible experience ever.  So sorry to all of you other women this is or has happened to!  My heart goes out to you all!  <3

[Sunbuni]

I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your story! I have had 2 healthy pregnancies and until you go through a miscarriage you never understand how it feels. I remember feeling sad for friends who lost their babies who were due around about when my babies were due and couldnt understand why they backed off from our friendship.

Now I know! 2 week ago I had a spot of blood at 10 weeks pregnant so went for a scan. I had had a dating scan a week before and saw the heartbeat immediately. This time there was no little flashing heartbeat and I knew straight away. The baby had died a few days before. I kept it all together as my husband and 2 toddlers were there as well so didnt want to frighten them. I chose to miscarry naturally and waited a week before going to get the medication. Within 2 hours mild contractions started and within the next 2 days I passed ALOT of product of conception (so they call it) and alot more blood then I ever imagined. I thought it would all be over, but had a scan on friday to find the placenta is still attached and circulating blood. I have another scan this Friday to see if it has passed or been reabsorbed and then I guess I will need to look at a d&c.

This baby was a surprise but very very wanted. I dont think I will ever feel complete again...it will always be in my heart and I have no idea how you get through your due date. I decided to name it as it had had a heartbeat and a good friend brought me a little lemon tree to remember it by.

The sadest thing is, even though when I had the spot of blood I went to hospital to have the anti d injection as I am o neg blood type and my husband and daughters are o pos and have had the injection each time they were born, my antenatal tests have come back that I have an antibody which means i was exposed to o pos blood at some stage with this baby, and my body possibly killed this baby and I probably cannot risk getting pregnant again!

Has anyone out there had a normal healthy pregancy when they are o neg blood type and have an antibody?

My heart goes out to everyone and I hope you all continue on to having happy and healthy pregnancies :0)

xx

[2angels1wk]

This is the worst thing I've ever been through.  No one should have to go through this.  My heart is breaking right now - for myself, and for all of you.  Here's my story, for what it's worth.  And I'm sorry for writing a book...but this is the only place I feel I can vent about it.  No one else understands...

DH had a vasectomy years ago after having 3 kids in a previous marriage.  He is 43 and the love of my life.  The fact that he's willing to have kids all over again with me...at his age...geez he loves me a lot.  HOWEVER...we knew up front that we needed to have kids soon, bc (understandably) he didn't want to be 47-50 chasing a toddler around!  So...We paid 10K for a reversal that didn't work, then he lost his job.  We emptied our IRA in order to do a cycle of ICSI (costing over 20K), so this was our only shot.  Everything went BEAUTIFULLY!!  I'm only 28 with no prior MC or pregnancies.  I've wanted a child for so long...

DH and I recently found out that we were pregnant from the ICSI.  Unfortunately, last Tuesday Oct 12 the sonogram showed that we were pregnant with twins, but that it was a heterotopic pregnancy - one in the uterus, one in the Fallopian tube.  I had emergency surgery same day to remove my left tube and baby.  Exactly one week later, we found out  that the remaining twin didn’t make it through the surgery with me.  There was this little body laying on it's back...this little bitty body that I've waited my whole life to see, but no heartbeat.  The day of my surgery, the intrauterine twin had measured at 6 weeks, 0 days.  Exactly one week later, it measured 6 weeks 1 day.  That tells us it’s life continued until around the morning after my surgery.  I was two months pregnant.

The obvious concern now is my health.  My body hasn’t let it go yet.  My Dr didn't give me the option of DC.  He wants me to pass it naturally if possible, then will opt to medicate me in order to induce contractions of the uterus to force my baby out.  If that doesn't work, then he'll schedule the DC.  The wait is torture. So naturally, I lay my hand on my belly, then remember it's dead in there.  The first morning after the news was the worst.  I woke up at 4am giggling because "baby needs to pee again"...then got the wind kicked out of me when I remembered that it wasn't a nightmare, it's real...and its gone.

The pain is all consuming.  I lost 2 babies and my left tube in 7 days...and one is still inside me dead.  Why should anyone have to go through this.  I'm a good person.  I swear!  Has anyone else gone through this??  

Most of the posts I read...the ladies get to try again.  People that don't know we did ICSI try to comfort us by being positive and they say "it's ok...it doesn't mean you'll never be a mom!  it just means it wasn't the right time!  But yall can grieve as long as you need to and then try again!!"

I just wanna scream!!!  "NO WE CAN'T!!!!  WE HAVE NO MONEY!!!!  IT'S OVER AND I GET TO MOURN TWO BABIES, BUT NEVER EVER BE A MOM!!!!!"

I've always been able to FIND a positive out of the worst situations, and pull myself up and go on.  But I'm seriously having trouble doing that this time.  I'm strong, so I know I'll survive...I don't really have a choice.  But I desperately wanted to have a baby - i've wanted that for years and years.  I get my chance and they're ripped from me???

Ugh...ok, I'll stop.  I just needed to vent.  

Is there anyone that can help me?  I've never gone through a MC before and I'm terrified.  It's been 4 days since I stopped the Progesterone.  Tonight I started spotting a bit.  I've had someone with me for almost 2 weeks non stop - first because of the surgery, now because my Dr worried about hemorrhaging.  But tonight, when I started spotting, I sent my mom home.  My DH is at his son's high school football game.  But I really want to do this alone.  No one knows what I'm going through.  No one could've loved it already as I do.  When it happens, I selfishly want to grieve alone, but I'm also scared.  I have NO IDEA what to expect.  If I just started spotting, does that mean I for sure will pass it naturally?  How soon will it happen?  Will it hurt?  How much blood is too much blood?  Will my baby come out all at once?  Will it look like the pictures of a 6 or 8 week old fetus I saw on the internet?  What do I do with it?  Freaking bury it in the backyard?  Hold it in my hand for a while to say goodbye?  I realize it would've only been the size of a blueberry at 6-8 weeks...but it's my little blueberry and flushing it down the toilet doesn't seem right!!  

Please, if anyone can answer these questions...please help me!
And if anyone can give me hope...I'm listening.  I just can't fathom a world where good people can't have the chance to be good parents just because we don't have another 20K lying around...seems so unfair.

Thanks for letting me share, and my arms are around all of you who've gone through similar experiences.  There just HAS to be a special place in Heaven for those who've suffered like this...

Love to you all.
~2angels1wk

[hopelohr]

Hello Guys, I am currently 14wks2days and have a healthy baby. This is my first pregnancy. I am a bigtime worrier about all the risks and things happening much like miscarrying. But here's what I did, and it helps me ALOT. I went online and rented a doppler. I only pay 30.00 a month for it and it is safe to listen to your babys heartbeat with it everyday. It is great reassurance to hear the baby moving around, and to hear your baby's heartbeat.

Girls, go to www.babybeat.com and rent one! They are so great, and it will help you relax and enjoy your pregnancy.

[hopetobehopefulagain]

Your stories all ring so true, very close to my own. On Friday, 1/14/11, I went in for sequential screen ultrasound, should have been 13 weeks but baby only 11 weeks along, no heartbeat. We had seen heartbeat on 9 week ultrasound. No miscarriage is easy to get through, but I wonder if it would feel more real if I had had some symptoms, like cramping, bleeding. I was feeling great, thinking that exhaustion, nausea and breast tenderness were subsiding because of transition to second trimester. Instead I went from ultrasound room to surgical suite, woke up in recovery, like it had never happened. Now I cannot stop crying. The cramping and bleeding seem almost therapeutic, that I can connect with this loss, since the D&E occurred while I was under sedation. Heartbroken cannot begin to describe the way I feel.

[Hope71]

I am 39 and have two healthy children (16 & 8).  In 2006, I had an ectopic pregnancy and lost my left tube as a result.  Last Nov.  I realized that I was pregnant again. My doctor sent me for an ultrasound at 7 weeks and everything was fine.  I went for my second ultrasound on Jan 20 @ 12 weeks where they told me that I had a missed abortion at 9 weeks.  I had a D&C the same day.  

I am OK physically but am very emotional and confused.  This pregnancy was not planned but I accepted it and started to feel the excitements and told friends and family about it.  Now, I don’t know what to do – should I try to forget about it and move on?   Should I try for another?  Thoughts?

[soccermom2406]

Hi, I am 40 years old and I have two wonderful daughters ages 13 & 7.  My fiance has no kids and is only 25 so we decided we would like to have a baby together.  We got pregnant fairly easily and went in for our 9 week check up on 1/20/11.  At this time the Dr. said she would like us to come in the following day for another ultrasound but didn't really say nuch.  We went in the next day only to find out that the gestational sac was measuring at 7wks3dys and the fetus was measuring at 6wks6dys.  At first, we were told that the dates could be off and then we were told that the radiologist didn't believe that the pregnancy was "a good one" because there was no fetal heartbeat.  I have had no bleeding, cramps or anything and am still having all the pregnancy symptoms I was before.  It is almost unbearble sometimes knowing that our baby is dead inside me.  I wasn't offered a D&C because the Dr. said that since the fetus is so small she thought it would pass easy and she didn't want the possibility of scar tissue since we are planning to try again.  The only real option I was given was to wait and it is like living in a nightmare.  I go to the Dr. again on 2/7/11 and if nothing happens between now and then, at that time the baby will have been dead for about 6 weeks.  At this point, I just want it to come out because knowing that it's in there and not living is the cruelest, most painful experience of my life.

[hopetobehopefulagain]

I must say, I keep coming back to this forum because, while I know several women who've had miscarriages, none were "missed". The shock of learning of the loss in the sterile dark ultrasound room caught me by surprise. There was no cramping or bleeding except after the D&E.  What impresses me most about the stories told here is that so many women suffer multiple losses . . . and still try again. I know my loss is recent, 2.5 weeks ago, but this was my only pregnancy. I can't imagine trying to conceive again after such a traumatic loss. How do you find the strength to try again? Where do you channel your anxiety? Can any subsequent pregnancy be as joyful as the first was (until I learned of the loss)? Won't there always be fear of loss?  Everyone's response to my loss has been the standard "I'm sure you'll be a mom someday, just try again." I'm terrified at the prospect of going through this grief again.

[dee2614]

Hi every one! I am sorry to hear all your stories. I am around 9 wks. I have not been to a doctor yet because of insurance situation, but I have been having lots of odd symptoms that I have never experienced with my other 2 prenancies. I have had alot of severe cramps and low back pain. Along with the normal pregancy symptoms which has eased up the last couple of days. But the main thing that has been bothering me other than the pain is a week ago I started having a pinkish discharge with the cramps. Then it has changed to a watery brown with a smell. I am very concerned and bothered. Does this sound familiar to any one?

[Jemgirl202]

Im so sorry for everyone's loss. Miscarriages of any sort are difficult to bear.

About a week ago I went in for a routine checkup (I was 13 weeks) and everything with my pregnancy was normal. My Dr. went to hear the baby's heartbeat and couldnt find it so did a vaginal ultrasound and discovered that my baby died around 9 weeks.  My husband and I were devastated.

She told me I had options but suggested I try to miscarry naturally and in a couple weeks they will examine me and decide if my body could not miscarry on its own. I decided to miscarry naturally.

I was severely depressed ever since i found out. However yesterday I started having extreme cramps which progressed during the night. They turned into actual contractions. Earlier today I felt a pop and started bleed. I was in the bathroom for 3 hours. I was in extreme pain and the actual miscarriage took about 3 hours to pass. The Dr. said what I went through was normal and nature took its course.

So far the pain has decreaed A LOT and the bleeding is heavy but not nearly as heavy during the miscarriage. I go in next week to make sure I passed all the tissue. If we have passed everything, we can try again after my first normal cycle.

Even though it was the worst pain I had ever experienced, i do not regret it. I gave birth to my baby. For me, I felt relieved and sad all at the same time. But I think that have my miscarriage naturally gave me that sense of closure and that I did give birth to my child even though it was dead. This was our first pregnancy and decided to name the baby since it was in fact our child.

[mrsrafferty0924]

I completely undersand where you are coming from.  Both my sister-in-laws and myself were all due within 2 weeks of each other.  I just went in this past week for our second checkup, first u/s and found out that wehad lost the baby.  I was supposed to be 9 wks 2 days and we were told it had stoppd growing aat 6 weeks.  Scheduled a d&c the next day.  It has still been very hard. I am now dreading Sept.  Hopefully, our luck will change and we will be expecting by then.  Saying prayers everyday.

[LP76]

I'm high risk, so went in for an early u/s at 7 weeks, 5 days and baby measured perfectly, with a strong heartbeat.  At 8 weeks, 5 days, we found out there was no heartbeat (via another ultrasound).  The baby had died 3 days earlier. I had no idea -- I felt hungry, slightly queasy, and tired, exactly as I'd felt for weeks.  I'm going for a D&C tomorrow -- I can't imagine trying to wait for the natural m/c.  This is devestating.

[jade717808]

well the same thing happened to me i went for my 12 weeks scan an found out that the baby have died at 9 weeks 3 day it not nice and i wish the best for everone out there goodluck

[TXPJMOM]

I found out I was pregnant with twins and went in for teh sono today and I have lost both babies. I am nine weeks and they could not find fetal heart beats in either baby. I am scheduled for a D&C tomorrow and I am just devistated. I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks just a few months ago so this is twice in a row that this has happened.

[andzelika1977]

I went to a Dr. to get US  two weeks ago and they said that the embryo died, but the clinic does not have equipment where they can hear heart beat. Today I am almost 8 weeks pregnant and still no miscarriage. I still have nausea and tender breasts and my appetite is not as good. I weight the same. Should  wait longer or should I go and get D & C done? My insurance does not cover US with my Dr. or D & C . Yesterday I had one of those cold sweats, fainting moments. I wonder if my blood pressure is up and down. I had same symptoms in last trimester when I was pregnant with my baby girl. Any suggestions. Thank you

[sarah_anne]

on the 27th april 2010 i had my 12 week scan to see my baby for the first time and me and my partner were so excited the best day of our lives, got to the hospital and was in the waiting room my name was called up we went in, i layed on the bed the lady was doin the scan and wen she finally found the baby there was no heart beat, even though it was worked out that it was my 12th week scan and i should have been 12 weeks pregnant my babys heart had stoped beating at 9 weeks, she then got another lady in to confirm what she had seen and they told me i had a blighted ovum (missed misscarrage) i have never had my heart feel so broken in all my life me and my partners day went from being the best day to the worst day ever, the lady then explained to me what i could do then she booked me in to see the doctor at the early pregnancy unit i saw the doctor and had three choices to choose from one was i could wait from now up to 8 week to see if my body would recongnise whats happened and misscarry by its self, takes some tablets to help to make it quicker or go in for an operation, the avaliable dates was the next day early morning or a 3 week wait as of the bank holidays, so i had to choose the next day as i just wanted all this pain to go away so the doctor sent me to the pre op department where i saw another doctor and he took my blood,blood pressure and wight, he then gave me some stuff to wash in and 4 tablets i had to insert down below at half 6 the next morning then to be at the hopsital between 7/7.30 that day, i was in the waiting room with my partner then i got called in to the ward by a nurse then from then i was on my own in the ward then an hour later taken up to the theatre department wher i waited half an hour for the lady to take me to the room to be put to sleep and my products be removed, it took overall an hour for the procedure to finish then i was in the recovery room and taken back down to the ward i was on the ladys were very nice bringing me drink and making sure i was on as soon as yo pas urine you are aloud to leave and go home when i went to get up and get changed to go to the toilet loads of blood gushed out on the floor but this was normal an you bleed for 3-5 days after the operation, but overall i do not wish this on anyone and this is the worst thing ever this was my first ever pregnancy and i know im only 22 years old but its alot for anyone to take i and go thorugh its just how mad it was in just two days from being so happy to feeling so terrible and emotional to there being a living baby inside of you to it dieing and you not knowing to it being removed the day after your scan, im really sorry for all you women that have been through this and if any of you have and way of helping me of letting me know what you lot done to get though this it would be very gratefull as im stuck at wits end with what to do with myself and all i keep thinking back to is that screen of my scan and the scan picture even if i distract my mind i just can never get it out of my head! x

[sarah_anne]

sorry i was ment to put 20011 this year not last year this all happened