christie2004 - qw

[sm8]

i know from earlier posts that niether of you are ttc but i was wondering if either of you had tubal ligations.  my husband want's me to have one but to tell you the truth i just don't want one.  i'm only 22 i know i have three children but im not sure im done.  i told him that and i said if he was sure he didn't want any more children he should have a vasectomy but it just started an argument. any advice

[sm8]

meant to post under an open forum sorry to take up a thread but use as an open forum

[Kassimom]

I actually started a thread about this same issue not long ago. I am pregnant with my second, our first child and we are both positive we want this to be our last. Our issue is not whether to get a sterilization procedure done, but WHO. Fortunately, in my case though, my DH is completely open to getting the vasectomy. I lucked out.

Some points you might make to your own DH are:

1. Most Dr's won't perform a tubal if you are unsure you want it. Especially as young as you are.

2. Recovery from a vasectomy is easier than with a tubal and in some cases, less expensive.

3. YOU had the babies, the least HE can do is take care of birth control if HE is the one wanting a permanent "fix".

Bottom line, it might be a tough road ahead of you, but if you are unsure of wanting the tubal then DO NOT get it.  Even if a Dr tells you it's reversible, with any sterlization surgery you have to assume it means forever. And any procedure to ATTEMPT to reverse is not only not gauranteed, but very costly.

[rosehill]

I am sorry for your situation. I too would not want a tubal at 22. Try talking to your doctor and see what your other options are. I would let your husband know that you are in agreement about not having any children for awhile( whatever time frame you are comfortable with) but that you are not ready to do something so permanent and costly to reverse. I will be praying for you. Sometimes if we can communicate and give more options to accomplish what our husbands want it works out better. I hope you can both come to an aggreement. Helen

[Tivie]

I did have a tubal at age 30 because here in Canada they do not du a tubal before the age of 30.  I had the tubal because my doctor said the the vasectomy was a risk for man (I find out later that my doctor was a feministe(sp?))I did regret having the tubal because two year later I would have like to have another kids but it was too complicated to have a reversal. So now I just have my two kids but I am very happy that I do have them.  To tell you the truth I would not have a tubal if you are not sure at 110%

[qw]

My husband is actually going to have a vasectomy at the end of the month. We have 2 kids. I thought about getting my tubes tied but the Vasectomy is Cheaper & less invasive(Our Dr. said around $ 500). It is done right in his office (will take around 20 min. to 1/2 hour I read). If I remember correctly they only make 1/2" incision after giving local anesthetic. They also gave my husband a Valium to take before he goes in so he won't be as nervous. A couple of people I talked to who had their tubes tied said they cramp more & bleed heavier with their periods now. When we were discussing it with our Dr. He asked if we were positive we didn't want more children ( We think we may adopt after our kids are older) and we both had to sign  a paper saying we wanted it done.

[Kassimom]

Also DH and I read in our local paper that there is a new procedure for vasectomies with a MUCH smaller incision in the center of the testicles. You may want to discuss this option with a DR if considering a vasectomy.

[qw]

If there is a chance you might want more kids later in life have you thought about just getting put on birthcontrol pills for now? Or maybe adoption later? Don't make any quick decisions without sitting down with your husband ( when your not arguing) and discussing all your options.

[rosehill]

Hi everyone,
I know that many of us are TTC and so I thought I would let you know where I get my pregnancy and ovulation tests, since I get them so cheap. They have worked for me even though I have not had a BFP yet. I bought both tests in bulk, you will probably think I am crazy but I purchased 100 of each. It was cheaper that way and I am all about not paying more than I have to and getting a great deal. I have personally bought mine on Ebay, big surprise, and I get them from user id jharr53301. I do not gain anything from you buying from this user. I just thought you might like to spend less money for these products since we use so many. I payed .28 for my pregnancy tests that includes my shipping cost. I payed .37 for my ovulation tests. They are easy to use and if anyone would like  a sample of them let me know and I will mail you one. Helen

[shubunkin]

hello all! I am getting my tubes tied after this one. This is my third. Last attempt for a girl :) I figured I would just rather get it done while I am still there in the delivery room and you know how we women are much stronger than men. I would rather have it done than listen to him moan and groan about it and think I should cater to his every need when he is not the one that just pushed a bowling ball out. From what I read they are pretty simple. Does anyone know exactly what is involved. One lady had told me on her they made a little bity insision and went through her belly button with a laprascope(spelling? any input would be helpful! Thanks Danielle

[sm8]

i've thought about adoption.  I think i would like to adopt a little boy about my oldest dd age 3 1/2 but never really looked into it i also thought about when my kids are grow i will still be young maybe being a foster mom.

[qw]

My MIL was a foster mom (She also had kids of her own). I think it was difficult on her & her whole family when they placed the foster kids in adopted homes & she had to let them go. You get attached quickly. Just something to consider. How soon is it (I can't remember ) until you get to take your HPT. I posted later the day you posted about the condom breaking & I don't know if you seen it . Anyway, I suggested that if you are not pregnant and you are only using a condom for birthcontrol why not use a contraceptive foam with it (again I'm not sure of the effectiveness of the two together but its another barrier at least)

[nanakay]

when you sign up to be a foster parent you choose what type of foster parent you want to be...for example.
my sister was set up for stickly foster adopted...meaning she intended to adopt any child she took in.
the lady that had my neice when she was first born IS strickly a receiving home for infants and small children...and let me tell you even though she chose to be that type of foster parent it is still very hard on her a lot of times...there have been times where she has cried for 2 days after they leave her house.
you can also choose to only have older kids..(this is the type that is in the highest demand since most people want "a baby")
it is (i'm sure) also the most demanding.
just thought i'd add some info for anyone that cared :)
~nanci

[Angel4JohnnyB]

One of my girlfriends is 24 & having her third next month.......the ob's here told her that they wouldn't do the tubal until she is 30.......

Before this I had always heard 25 and at least 3 children.

[could it be #4]

Be sure to think it through VERY carefully, I had mine done May 2004 at 20 years old. I regret it so much i was so young and I thought i was done having kids but now i really wish i could have just one more.

[Christie2004]

Hi
Yes, I had my tubes tied at 24 about 6 weeks after my last son was born.
If you aren't 100% SURE you never want children again, DO NOT GET YOUR TUBES TIED.  In some cases it can be reversed, but it is very expensive, not covered by insurance, and not always successful.
DON'T LET ANYONE pressure you into it, and if your husband doesn't want a vasectomy, don't pressure him.  There are other means, such as an IUD, Depo, Nuvaring (which is a small ring placed in the vagina every week that dispenses tiny doses of contraceptive hormones) that can be used, in addition to oral BCPs, the patch, diaphragms, and good ol' foam and condoms.
Hold your ground on this.  Do a lot of talking to him about it, and about how you feel.  But the bottom line is, never have a permanent procedure done, unless THE PERSON IT IS BEING DONE TO WANTS IT.  

Shubunkin,
I noticed you said you were going to have your tubes tied in the delivery room.  Most, if not at all times, it is done the next day, if that bit of knowledge makes a difference to you.  Most hospitals won't call in staff after hours to do elective surgery if you deliver late at night.
If you are having a c/section, then yes--they'll do it at the same time as the section.

If you have it done after a vag birth, they will take you to the OR and under either epidural (with additional sleepy drugs) or under a general anesthesia, will make about a 2 in incision right under your belly button.  Takes about 15-20 min, you will go to the recovery room for an hour and then back to your room.  You will be a bit more sore and will be given Percocet (usually) for pain.  You might stay one day longer than a regular birth.

If it is done later, say after 6 weeks or so, it is done via laparoscopy.  This entails coming in to an outpatient surgery facility, being give a general anesthesia, and having a short procedure done. (They do inflate your abd. with carbon dioxide, but you don't know it b/c you are asleep.  You might have some shoulder pain the next day from the dissolving gas).
You will usually have 2 tiny incisions, about 1/2 in.  One will be right in your pubic hair, and the other right in the fold of your belly button.  You will recover for an hour or two and go home.  Mine was really simple--worked the night before, went in at 9a and was home by noon.  Took Percocets I think for a day, and went back to work within a night or 2.  

Hope this info helps.

[nanakay]

you know i always thought that was weird that when they inflate your Abdomen with gas your Shoulder is what ends up hurting...you'd think it would be your tummy that hurt from being stretched out a little...hmm go figure
~nanci

[tresmathews]

Thanks so much for the info. I plan on having this done after we have one more, that is if they don't do a hyst. I think I would rather have the lap done. I have had one before and since I have endo maybe they could do endo removal and my tubes at the same time. I will deffiantely discuss it with my doc.

[shubunkin]

Thankyou soooo much for the info. I think I would rather have it done 6 weeks later than have the 2 inch insision and have to deal with a newborn.I am such a weinne when it comes to thinking about surgery! I have never been cut on! Again Thanks! Danielle

[Christie2004]

I don't mean to disuade you from having your tubes tied while you are in the hospital having your baby!  Most moms tolerate the procedure quite well, beyond some soreness and the additional day in the hospital.  Discuss with your doctor and do what seems right to YOU.

You'll be sore either way, whether it is done right away or 6 weeks later.  But not too bad.  Either way, I'm sure you will do fine.

[sm8]

I can test on 9/19.  I know this sounds kindof silly but after thinking about it so much it seems kindof ok.  I'm worried now i might be dissapointed if im not

[qw]

Good luck to you. I hope you get the result you want. Keep me updated.