couple questions!!!!!

i have seen a couple post pretty similar but didn't really answer my questions as i have post lots i am 81/2wks pregnant and had a few problem. but the main problem is pain in abdimon. my hubby has picked up alot of slack since i got the cramping going to work coming home and doing everything. anyways since i found out that i was pregnant i lost any earge to have sex. did anyone else come across that prob. also when i do have sex it really hurts in the abdimon mainly after not really during. i wonder if the pain is what turns me off it... that would make sense wouldn't it....lol

also i was told that sex during the first 3 mths is dangerous because the mans sperm softens the uterus and that could cause a misscarrige andyone else hear of that???

anyways good luck to all

[anxiousmomtobe?]

Sex is fine unless you are spotting although if it hurts,I can understand you not feeling up to it.  I would ask you doctor about the postcoital pain.

[deanne11]

no problems with sex for me during my 1st pregnancy.  my drive was fine...about 3 times a day actually...LOL
also the sperm can't hurt the baby.  my daughter was perfectly fine at 3x a day.

the other 3 pregnancies I've had this year unfortunately ended in m/c and I wasn't having sex at all then because I was having problems from the start so it's anyone's guess.

[HOPING TO BE]

thanks for your help i am a first time mom and trying to make sense of everything and sort everything out.

[deanne11]

it's probably just your hormones and ligaments already stretching and stuff.

sex is fine but not if you are in pain.  if the drive isn't there...don't worry it should come back after the first few months.  your body right now is rocked with change.

[2songbirds]

I'm 10 1/2 weeks, and I have also totally lost my sex drive. It hurts after we do the deed also, I cramp for a couple days. But I have something called cervical erosion which I've had since before I got pg this time. I would spot and cramp for a week or 2.

It even hurts the next day if we take it easy. I make sure he doesn't go in too far to hit my cervix. OMG, does THAT hurt!!

Maybe just avoid having relations for a while and see if it helps. Your cervix is so irritable and tender while pg. Anything can upset it.

[deanne11]

GEEZ - am I the only nympho out there????  LOL

[Jenny77]

Yeah, I'm 39 weeks and I still haven't gotten my sex drive back completely. I guess its been a little better lately, but I truly have not wanted sex since I was 6 weeks. I really hope it comes back after I have the baby.
Its also very normal during pregnancy to have discomfort after sex, especially after orgasm for a female. It can feel like a cramping feeling too, but it is normal, no threat to pregnancy at all. If its still painful a few days later though, you may want to ask your doctor, that seems a little long.
The sperm are not dangerous either. The only way sex is bad during pregnancy is if you have a cervical problem, which is actually pretty rare. otherwise, you can have sex as much or as little as you want and it doesn't matter. In a normal pregnancy, your cervix stays closed tight until about the last month when it is getting ready for delivery.

[girliegrl1723]

hi ladies. i just wanted to day that i am with those of you who lost your sex drive. mine is missing also. i had no urge furing the first three months, it came back pretty well during month four and five and now i am just beginning month 7 and i feel this time it is gone for good :o( anyway, i just wanted to say that i persnally have never had any pains during or after sex, but i'm sure that unless the dr. has told you not to do it, you'll be just fine.

the other night when my husband and i had sex, he told me that it felt so tight it almost hurt him. i was surprised as i thought it woul dbe the opposite. anyone ever heard of this or know the reason why?

[mommie2]

no your not the only nymph but eventhough I crave sex every day , I can not have it. I have a cerclauge and am on modified bedrest. Maybe I want it so much because I can not have it. All I know is I can not wait 8 more weeks and then I am having sex!!!!!!! At 34 weeks it is safe for me.

[HIS GIFT TO US]

I never heard that before :) but then again I'm always so sick from 6wks-somewhere in the teens wk, so I guess I minded fairly well :)

[HIS GIFT TO US]

I'm sure your drive will return :) Could just be pain from your cervix, it's really extra tender when pg. Bding would be bad if your water broke b/c this could lead to an infection but u don't have that problem so I'm sure you r fine, things r just changing as u r making room 4 baby :)

[Jenny77]

I've heard of the vagina getting a lot tighter during pregnancy. I think it can have to do with all the extra blood being sent to the genitals etc, they can defnitely be swollen down there causing it to be tighter. My Dh said it felt a little tighter at times too. I think that didn't help me with my lower sex drive either.

[Momoftwogirls]

at 7 wks - It isn't my drive that's the problem - it's that I'm WAY TOO TIRED!!!

[deanne11]

just wondering did all you gals with a LOW sex drive have boys?

just wondering 'in fun' of course about the 'old wives tales'

I had a ton of drive....and I had a girl.

[girliegrl1723]

yes! i am having a boy. i wonder if that has anything to do with it? if thats the case, i'm hoping for a girl next time around, so i can see if there is any difference. how interesting!

[emma10]

What does your doctor say about pain in the abdomen?  8 1/2 weeks is pretty early to have ligaments hurt so bad you can't do any work, etc.  Is it cramping?  Or more like stabbing pains?  As long as you have ruled out ectopic with early ultrasound I guess you are not in any serious danger--if not, I would definitely make sure doc knows about the pain.

About the sex, yes, at 12 wks I can say DH has been a little deprived lately. I tell him it is his burden since he can't be pukey or sore all day he can at least be horny to keep up with my suffering (lol!) He doesn't think it is as funny as I do. I just don't even like to be touched when I'm sore.  I was hoping after the nausea passes and the tiredness, that we would get some good months (we're newlyweds!) before baby comes. The few times we could have sex, btw, it was way better than not-pregnant sex (worth a try if you've been avoiding it--).

[HOPING TO BE]

well actually i mentioned to my doctor that it was hurting he actually said that you shouldn't have sex for the first 3 months i never knew that!!!!!!!!

[deanne11]

yeah - being told not to have it makes it 10x worse.
i had a dnc for my last m/c on 9/29...was told to wait 2wks for sex...i caved at 8 days...

i'm such a loser.

[HOPING TO BE]

well i had a ultrasound back but my doctor never recieved the results yet he told me to make sure that i keep an eye out for major changes in pain. the pain has gone down a little bit before it was stabbing pains now its more like cramping pain so i guess that may be a good sign. hope i will hear about the ultrasound thing soon
i am just happy to hear that i am not the only one who has lost there drive. my man has been so suppotive though so that makes it somewhat easier poor man lol....
but i do have a big thing for healthy food i eat something fattening a i wanna throw up ( or i do) but eat healthy stuff and can't get enough. my first craving was banana dipped in strawberry yougart and a apple,peanut butter,banana sandwich sounds grouse but wow is it really good!!!