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heartbreaking news

i dont know what to do. I went and got my u/s not even thinking anything was wrong and bang...no heartbeat. I just dont understand what is wrong with me. I cannot take this. I only have 1 live baby and i have been pregnant 6 times. Ive gotten checked and there is supposively nothing wrong with us. I am so heart broken right now, i dont even know what to say
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I am so sorry that you have to keep going through this. My heart goes out to you and your loved ones.
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I am so sorry.  I was hoping that everything would be okay for you.  my thoughts and prayers are with you.  Dana
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I am really, really sorry, girl.. I don't even know what to say. Your post broke my heart... Please, be strong for your little one you already have.
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I too have been pregnant 6 times and i just had my first live baby on nov 7. I understand your feelings and i feel your heartache. I had 5 m/c's in 2 years. You are in my prayers, and everything will be ok!
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There are so many things that don't make sense and don't have explanations.  My heart breaks for you.  My stepmother has lost 6 pregnancies.  They could never figure out why she kept losing them.  I see the pain in her face even to this day when the baby topic comes up.  I am so sorry and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers...
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Oh, no!  I am so very sorry.  You are in my thoughts and prayers.
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i just dont understand why people who dont even want a baby can have them  and then here i am (with many other people) who desperately want them and keep losing them. It is so unfair. I hate it. It makes me sick to see someone have a baby who doesnt even want it or those who abuse or neglect their children. How can they be so freakin blessed with the miracle of children and the ones who would do anything for it are not so blessed. I hope i dont offend anyone. I just got done hysterically crying for like a hour now. I just couldnt believe this is happening again...i know some people would say that at least you were not farther along, but this is just as bad. I went 2 weeks ago and saw the heartbeat at 148 and now this week its gone. It "stopped growing" at 8 weeks and i was suppose to be 10. I hate the thought of having a dead baby inside me, i dont know how that makes me feel other than saddened. My words cannot even express what i am feeling/going through and i know that i am not the only person who goes through this stuff, but it still hurts like hell. I just want to feel better, but i guess that is a long road ahead. I dont even want to try to have another baby anymore...i will be so afraid of this happening yet a 7th time. i knew something was wrong the whole time and no one would listen to me at the dr.s office. I am so angry at them. I feel like i should have been treated like a high risk patient, as i was diagnosed, and i was being treated as a regular OB patient. I just wish i could feel like everything possible was being done and it wasnt. Maybe we could have stopped it, i dunno, i do know that it would have made me feel a little better. I am sorry this is so long and my thoughts are scattered, i have had a tough past hour.
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I am so sorry for your loss and i feel ur heartache as the same happened to me i was suppost to be 13.5 weeks and i went for my first u/s and the tech told me my baby was gone at 8.5 weeks b.c there was no heart beat and this was my first i was soo heart broken..my love goes  out to you n all ur loved ones...Amanda
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im so very sorry. I just finally got pregnant for the first time ever. My husband and I have beem trying for almost four years. Well I lost that baby today as I write this. My tears are tears for you and me, and our guardian angels. I believe in miracles, the Dr.s said I would never conceive naturally for my insides were a mess. So God showed them. I did conceive. I know we will receive our miracle babies, even if it means we have to have sorrow before joy. God Bless
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So sorry hun, I know we all feel terrible dont loose hope okay just say your prayers. My first pregnancy end in a m/c 2 weeks ago. I'll keep you in my prayers.

BABY DUST!!
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I'm so sorry! I wish I had some answers for you, but the same questions run through my mind all the time.

If/when you decide to TTC again, ask for a referral to an RE (if you're already seeing one, sorry...I couldn't remember). It sounds like it's time for a fresh pair of eyes to look at your medical history.
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When i read this i felt my heart drop. i remember your previous posts and was so happy for you that you got pregnant again and now this. I am so very sorry i will put you in my prayers. You are a strong woman and you are going to get through this and they will find out what is wrong and you will have another beautiful baby someday soon. We are all thinking of you Good Luck and God Bless!
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I dont know if this is the right time to post this but i will and if it is i am so sorry but it may help I had a friend that got pregnant many times but they all ended in m/c. well she ended up carrying one to 6 months and she was born with a chromosomal abnormality call Trisomy 18 and the doctor told her that many times you will get pregnant with it but more likely then not you will m/c and there are many other types of Trisomy. But of course either the mother or the father has to be a carrier.

If this was to much i am truly sorry i am just trying to help
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I just wanted to say I am so very sad for you. My heart broke when I read your post. I will pray for you and for your quick healing. (of your heart and your body)

God Bless,
Lara
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Keirstnmommy and baby believer:
I am so sorry for your losses... I know it is NOT FAIR!!!
I have also been TTC for over 2 years and I had 1 m/c
I know how awful it is and I pray that you two
find comfort somehow and somewhere... I know all too well
how it feels and it is very painful!!!  Thinking of you
both!!  Jacquie
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I am so sorry that you are going through this again, please lean on us as much as you need to.

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oh honey! I am so sorry. I know what it feels like. I too went in to an u/s thinking nothing was wrong and saw no heartbeat.  it was the worst day of my entire life. i know words cannot express what you are going through.

hang in there and if you need someone to talk it out with who knows what that u/s feels like, let me know.
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thank you for your kind comments.
Deanne11 the story starts off as in January 2004, i became preggo with my first, i lost him at 5 months due to no kidneys or liver. It was called potters syndrome. He was imcompatible with life and i had to make the decision to let him go instead of him suffering inside me. I thought it would be easier for me. Now, i wish i would have kept him as long as i could have. Then, in 2005, i got preggo with my daughter. The pregnancy was smooth up until 36 weeks. She would have been still born if i would have waited 3 more days. She was not moving that much and i went in to the hospital for a routine non-fetal stress test and delivered on October 25, 2005 at 37 weeks. In June of 2006 i became pregnant again and lost the baby at 8 weeks due to a blighted ovum. I had a D&C on august 12, 2006. My AF returned and I found out i was preggo on september 29, 2006. This was this pregnancy. I was supposed to be 10 weeks today and not really thinking something was wrong i went in for an u/s to make sure that the baby had a heartbeat and there was none. I knew from the second i saw the baby, it was not moving or anything and when they checked the heartrate she would not tell me anything..she said "im sorry i cannot tell you nothing." I knew right then that my baby had died. I had no symptoms, the only thing that lead me to believe something was wrong was not being able to hear my baby on the doppler. I knew something was up because i heard my daughters heart beat at 8 weeks and I am 10...so i did have a hunch. I guess some people would call it intuition. I have always known in a pregnancy when something was not right, but no one would listen to me. So, i had just told myself that i was crazy and that this u/s would prove just that. I was right, my worst nightmare had come true. I just saw my babies heart beating 2 weeks ago, he was strong and moving all around. I live in maryland, but i am from arkansas, my husband is in the military and we are stationed here for at least another year. All these pregnancies happened so fast and in the first monthof trying, i should have already had like 6 kids by now. (the other two pregnancies ended before AF was due) I am a stay at home mommy just taking care of my daughter while my husband goes to work. I just got certified as a family child care provider and can run my own day care from my home. IT is not a problem for me to get pregnant, just to get out of the first trimester and safe. I just want to thank everyone for their kind words and thoughts. Annice, we will still be sidekicks! I am praying that your pregnancy will be better than mine, i know it will. Thank you for being there for me...i am talking to everyone when i say that! This is such a great place for me to express my feeling and for people to be there and comfort me in my time of sadness. I just really want to thank all of yall from the bottom of my heart. Your words really do help, even though you all think that they dont. I am scared to tell my parents because i dont want to hear i told you so. I just know they are gonna say something stupid like that since they didnt want me to get pregnant after my blighted ovum. I just feel ashamed and embarrased. I am the only one in my entire family to have these kinds of problems. My SIL is pregnant and we were supposed to be preggo together. Now, this is the 2nd baby ive lost during her pregnancy. I just dont understand and i guess i will never know why until i get to heaven and see my little angels, but until then, i will wonder what all those babies would have been and looked like. once again, thanks to everyone who has shared kind and beautiful words to me. much love
amber
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My heart goes out to you at this time. Although I may not know you, I feel your pain and am keeping you in my thoughts. It is a hard thing to go through, and that poem that was posted on either here or the fertility board really hits home. I have had my share of ill luck but nothing that comes close to what you are going through, IMO. I too, am finding it hard to get through the first trimester, and come December 12th, may not ever experience a natural pregnancy. I don't mean to upset you when I say this, but to me, I found that the heartbreak rested on the what could have been, the planning of a wonderful 9 months until birth, etc, and knowing that it won't happen as of yet. I pray that you give yourself time to heal before trying again, and although I am not there in person, please find it comforting that I am there to help you wipe your tears.
This is the best place to come to you feel you are in your darkest hour, and need to talk. It is comforting to know that there are people out there that will listen when you feel like your whole world just crashed, and everyone has turned a deaf ear. We will help you get through this, and please take care.
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I am so sorry to hear about your loss.  I know there is nothing I, nor anyone, can say to make it hurt any less.  Just know that we are all here for you.  

You'll be in my prayers...
Amy
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Hi hon...I'm so sorry.  I don't know what to say, because I'm living your heartache too.  I wish so much that life was easy and we didn't have pain but we do.  I'm praying that you find peace...I'm still not there myself.  I love my God and pray everyday but it still hurts and always will.  I have been pregnant 4 times with 1 little girl. The pain is to much some days I just want to give up.  I'm am crying real tears for you now and your lost children, but please know you will see them someday.  And I bet mine and yours are together.  You reached out looking for me the other day and I believe GOD spoke to me yesterday in church because HE knew you'd need someone today who has been there with multiple losses....I know this is why I logged on today.

Boy do I understand your feelings, especially about others who have multitudes of children and do not care for them.  

Some days I feel that I wish I couldn't get pregnant.  It'd be a little easier to handle than having my babies keep dying.  I too have been through all the tests.  Supposedly I am fine and so is DH so why are our babies dying.  I'm going to take progesterone on my next pregnancy just in case its that...what about you?

Please give me your whole story...I know it's hard but it'll help in my prayers for you...how far along were you at all your m/c?  Where do you live?  What do you do for a living?  All that stuff could factor in...I know I'm no dr but sometimes...us women may hear something that a dr may not consider....I want to help you through this however I can.....

Please let me know what else I can do besides pray.  Where are you living?  If you need something let me know.  I don't know what I can do but I can try anything.  My heart is truly breaking for you.  

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I'm so very sorry.
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I also wanted to say there was absolutely nothing you could have done to stop it.  You know that in your heart you are just hurting now.  Please know this was nothing you did or didn't do.  I'm so sorry....I just don't know what else to say.  I'm just sitting here crying for you.  It hurts me to see someone in so much pain, especially another mother who has my kind of heart.  We deserve babies...lots of babies to love and cherish and raise as Godly young men and women.  I'm so scared to become pregnant too....especially since my last baby that died did NOT have a chromosome problem...it was genetically okay.  Which makes me wonder why then...why no heartbeat?  

Anyway...I just wanted you to know that my tears are for you, my heart is breaking and I DO feel your pain.  With everything that is in me....GOD be with you and with me as I pray
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Amber,
I just cannot believe this happened to you.  I could have sworn you'd be okay.  I am sooo sorry girl!  You were my sidekick...and I never thought anyone with such intense symptoms would miscarry.  This hits sooo close to home because we were the same....and it could be me at my next appt.  I've only lost one baby, but that was more than anyone should lose.  I pray that you will soon find out what the problem is, and that you will much sooner than later hold a brand new healthy baby in your arms.  You do not deserve this...not at all.  I know that nothing I can say will make things easier...but I can pray for God to help and comfort you...and I will pray for that daily, I promise.  
Jess
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So sorry for your losses...I hope you go on to have normal pregnancy in the near future.
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Amber,
I am SOOOOOO sorry. I wished you well this morning when I saw your post about your ultrasound today...and then tonight I read this post. I am feeling awful for you.
It is so hard to get through this, I know. I have had one miscarriage and can't deal with it. So your pain is multiplied even more.
All I can say is I am so sorry and you will be in my prayers.
You are such a sensitive, maternal woman. I know you will be blessed with more children...
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Hi Amber,

How aweful if was to read your news.  Are they 100% sure??? do you think to get a second opinion?  I personally would just to make absolute sure as I have heard of them missing the hb at the 11th hr b4 doing a dnc....maybe worth it for you too?  My heart is with you and yours during this very trying time.

Trudy xo
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I am so sorry for you.  I too have been following your post and I was so happy for you when you announced your BFP.  I don't know what to say.  I have had miscarriages and I know no words can really help.  I don't mean to be personal, but did you have any signs or symptoms that something might not be right, or just a feeling?  My heart goes out to you, please stay strong for yourself and your little one.  It will work out.  I wish you the best of luck in the future if you do ttc again.  This just makes me sad :(
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I'm sorry((HUGS))..nanis
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My heart just broke for you.  I am so sorry for your loss and know exactly how you feel when you say people who dont even want them, people who have no right having them when they cant afford to feed them and teenagers who just want a toy to play with for a while have no problem getting pregnant and delivering - sometimes even while putting toxins into thier bodies.  My first I did EVERYTHING right and lost the baby I am now 18 weeks and have had so many complications but we are bouncing along but everyday I am scared to death that something awful is going to happen and to hear about this happening to you just breaks my heart.  You are blessed to have your daughter and my you be blessed with another child in the New Year.  I will be praying for you.  So sorry :(
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So sorry about your loss - its really bad. Dont loose hope - you maay need to wait abit and they start the ttc all over again after some time.

God bless!
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I'm so sorry.  I was up praying for you most of the night.  And me too honestly.  I feel for you.  I lost all of mine in what seemed to be different ways as well...just like you, there really is no pattern.

The little girl you had early?  She is your live daughter.  You said she 'would have been stillborn' so I assume this is the daughter you have now.  Hold her close and cherish her everyday.  I think you just need a break for awhile.  Take some time just to be 'you' again and love your family that you have.  That was my thoughts after I lost my 3rd this year....3 in 7 mos....uggh.  I so understand the 'ashamed' and 'embarrassed'.  I feel that way too.  All the time....I am so lost and don't know what is wrong with me when the drs say nothing.

My SIL is pregnant too....It hurts.  I want to be happy for her since this is her first but all I do is think about the 3 I lost and how the first would have been about 2 weeks old now.

I'm sorry...here is my email address if you ever want to talk offline....***@****
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I just saw this now and wanted to tell you how sorry I also am for your loss.  We're all thinking of you and sending you lots of hugs!
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I am so sorry this is happening to you again, take care.
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I am so sorry for your loss.  I lost a baby at 10 weeks with no heart beat in January.  I know all to well that sinking feeling of seeing a still baby on the ultrasound machine and i will never forget the tech's face when she was taking the measurements.  She was so sullen and then she told me my baby was dead.  

I never understood why people got to have babies who didnt want them or neglected them.  I came up with a theory.  You may disagree, but it is something that helped me cope.  I believe each child is sent to us for a reason.  Every woman becomes a mother for a reason.  Even if the baby was neglected or unwanted this child is meant to bring joy to someones life.  I dont know if you are religious, but i told myself that God sends these babies to families that need them.  Those babies are sent to save someone elses life. Even if it is indirect.  I work with Relative caregivers and a lot of my caregivers state that these children "keep them going" even though they were unplanned and unwanted.  I've seen adoptions take place and let me tell you, they are the most beautiful thing in the world.  Each child has a purpose.  I know its unfair and trust me ive questioned WHY a million times.. We cant change this.. we just have to except it.  

You deserve a healthy pregnancy and baby... no doubt about it..  Just be patient for your miracle..

My Miracle is due in 43 days...  If i hadnt lost my baby in January i wouldnt be expecting my perfect little boy.  Best of luck to you..
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Sorry, I'm a little late with this but, I didnt get on until this morning.  I really dont know what to say. I feel terribly that this has happened to you as well as every other women on here.  I wish there were ways that we could help you but unfortunately, all I can do is send my thoughts and prayers to you and your family.  This site has helped me an immeasurable amount since the beginning of my pregnancy and I only hope we can some how give you some silent support during your rough time.  I thought about a lot of things over the Thanksgiving holiday and one thing was, the ladies on this site.  This is probably the best site I've ever seen.  I'm praying for you.  But I trust that you will be ok and give a beautiful life to another beautiful baby. Stay strong.
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I am so sorry for your loss.  I had two misscarriages both late, one with twins boys at 21 weeks and the other a boy at 14 weeks.  Two of the darkest times in my life, after my the second loss I went to see an specialist "Perinatologist" and the was the best things I could have done, he was so attentive and monitored me so well that today I am the proud mom of a two month old.  Please don't give up, when you are emotionally well, Change your OB, get a referal for a Perinatologist and get consultation, try again and know that time will heal your broken spirit and hopefully bring you healthy happy babies.  God Bless
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