how to get a newborn to sleep in his won bed?

[romme80]

I had my son on January 10th so he is a week and a half old. We have been home a week ago today. My question is he won't sleep at night unless he is in bed with us. We definetly didn't want to put him in our bed. What do we do??? If you have any ideals or suggestions please tell me. We are open to anything. Thank you soo much!

[sck08]

Do you swaddle him so that he feels safe and secure like he was in your womb?

[tiredbuthappy]

i had the same problem with my daughter at first. she didn't like being swaddled because she loved moving her legs. she was up constantly because she ate every 2 hours, even through the night. i was pumping and exhauster, so i ended up letting her sleep on me a few nights. she slept soo much better that way, but i knew once she got used to that, it would be hard to break the habit. we got a cheap sleep positioner that hugged her sides and made her feel secure. every since she sleeps great. once she got used to sleeping on her own we were able to remove it from the bassinet.

[shesherm]

I also have a sleep positioner, they arent expensive but I have also read to put them close to and edge and not in the middle of the crib..since they are used to close quarters.  good luck

[hldeskin]

We had a bassinet that could be pulled right up to the bed so our daughter was right beside us all night but safe in her own bed.  The first couple weeks I had to keep my hand in her bed on her belly so that she'd go to sleep. After a while she got used to being in her bed and as she got bigger we moved her bassinet further away.  She's six and a half months now and has a breathing condition and many nights we put her in bed with us for our own sanity.  It is different for everyone, but many people co sleep. If it is the only thing that will let you both get a couple hours of sleep don't rule it out all together.  New mommies do crazy things you never thought you'd do before.  

[CYW]

our ds was in a basinet just a few steps from our bed..just like at the hospital...in the afternoon i would put him down for naps in his crib andat night he would sleep in his bed...he loves it..has been in there since just shy of a month but now will not nap in the day in his crib..however will sleep at night ugh lol..i think it might be too bright in the day so..will figure something out..

[romme80]

Thank you all for your comments! Last night was sooo much better! He slept in the basinet beside my bed from 10:30 til almost 4:30 woke up to eat and have a diaper change and then went right back to sleep from a little after 5 til almost 9 AM! It was nice!

I do swaddle him nice and tight in a warm blanket right before bed, he loves to be swaddled!!!!!!

Last night before bed we gave him a warm bath in the bedtime wash and then I rubbed him down in the lotion too. Then we fed him, wrapped him in a warm blanket right out of the dryer, and layed him down to sleep. We left a small lamp on in the corner cause I thought he might not like to be in the complete dark since he had been sleeping with some kind of a light on since he was born. Out of all those things we did something worked like a charm. I figure we will keep the routine as long as it works!

Once again Thank you all for your helpfull comments!!!

[romme80]

By the way where do you get the sleep positioner?? I would like to buy one. Right now we are using blankets tightly rolled up to keep him snug! Please let me know!

[girlybuff]

I've said it once before and I will say it again that only in this society do we have our child in a sterile hospital room, leave them in the hospital nursery, bring them home and place them on a firm mattress without blankets and pillows in another room or at the very least in a crib away from us.
I realize many are concerned for safety and it's a valid concern and that sometimes there are other factors and then there are some that just want to think that by having the baby sleep in a sep place won't "spoil" them and that you will get a good night's sleep but I ask this .... why is it a problem to be solved when a newborn  only wants to feel the warmth of his parents and the closeness of his mother when all he/she has ever known is the absolute warmth, security and tenderness of its mother's womb?

[sck08]

girlybuff-I'm curious if you think it would be better to have our babies in a dirty hospital room?  With all the diseases out there I would hope not.  Also, my baby NEVER went to the nursery-she never left my sight.  Pillows & blankets are very dangerous for infants.  Also, a bassinet next to your bed is close enough.  I know coosleeping did not harm your child but like I said in a previous post, my DH is a fireman and recently went on a call where an EXTREMELY overtired mommy rolled over on her baby and suffocated it.  So some people just dont feel safe sleeping with their new baby.  After my DH saw that lifeless baby with his own eyes, he refused to let DD sleep with me.  I even had my arm propped up on a pillow so I couldnt roll over but the risk was just to great for me.  She got plenty of mommy touch & warmth throughout the day...

[kjbutcher]

i had the same problem.  right around 2-3 weeks he started sleeping well at night and we switched him to his bouncy chair.  we realized he was sleeping well in that during the day.  my doctor also suggested letting him sleep in his car seat.  that is what we did the first night that he slept during night time hours and it worked very well.  It does get better.  Hang in there!

[girlybuff]

"I'm curious if you think it would be better to have our babies in a dirty hospital room? "
Yes, that was exactly what I was saying.

I'm not saying that babies who don't co-sleep get less warmth and love.  There really is no need to be defensive as I am not personally attacking you for your belifes. I don't doubt what your husband saw was terrible.
I do realize that it is unsafe to put blankets and pillow in the crib with a newborn.  Clearly you can see that I am not an idiot.

I am simply saying that as a society we have gone away from the midwives and the home births and all that goes with it and that there is all this pressure on mothers to have their child in their crib by a certain age and sleeping through the night at a cerain age and in a certain nursery school etc.  LIfe is become very stressful starting at the child's first day of life.  

We should all just relax a bit not foregoing safety of course.

I am in no way knocking anyone for their choices, as they are just that, choices.  No one way is better than the next.  

My daughter being fine and safe co-sleeping with me was a lot more detailed than luck by the way.
  
  

[tiredbuthappy]

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but i also found it a couple dollars cheaper at burlington coat factory

[lovefamily]

When my baby was born I felt kind of like one of my dogs.  I don't mean that bad.  Just that when my dog had pups all she did was stay in her box with the pups day and night and nurse them.  She barely left to use the bathroom or eat.  In the animal world most mothers stay with their babies at all times.  I spent the first few weeks sleeping with my baby in my arms.  At about 2 to 3 months he started sleeping in his cradle right beside my bed.  When he wakes up for a middle of the night feeding, I put him in bed with me and nursed him.  We both normally fall asleep in this position until morning.  If I can stay awake, I put him back in his cradle.  Just do what works for you and don't stress.  Your baby needs lots of love and reassurance right now.  You are creating trust and love between you.  Every baby is different.  Mine hated being swaddled but preferred kicking his feet and legs.  Bond with your precious new one and get some sleep :0)

[sck08]

girly-back in the 1800's many babies died from unforseen complications during childbirth.  During my Grandmothers time, they strapped her down to a bed and didnt check on her once-noone was allowed in to see her and she almost bled to death.  That was in the 1940's.  So hospitals, doctors, equipment all make the chances of a baby born healthy and safely.  At 19 wks I had an amniotic fluid leak.  If I had not gone to the hospital, used their equipment, or seen a doctor, then my daughter would have died inside of my stomach.  Or when I had full placenta previa, If I had tried to deliver w/out knowing that I had it then I would have hemorraged and bled to death.  So your saying that doctors, hospitals, and technology are NOT a better route?  I dont think so. What about my best friend who gave birth with no drugs and she pushed so hard and too fast that her sons lung popped the second he took in air.  If she was not near the NICU then her baby would have died.  I can give you so many more examples.  Things, places, people make today's society a much safer and much more successful way to have babies.  I'm pretty sure that if we didnt have these things, then lots of us would have had stillborn babies, or babies that died at birth.

So since you are all about midwives and home birth, did you ever have an ultrasound?  A doppler to hear the heartbeat?  Those things were not around thousands of years ago...

[crzychick]

Another suggestion for helping them sleep is getting one the following stuffed animals.

Heartbeat Bear

Prince Lionheart Original Slumber Bear with Silkie Blanket

Womb Sounds Mommy Bear

Cloud b Sleep Sheep - Four Soothing Sounds From Nature

Cloud b Sleep Sheep On the Go - Four Soothing Sounds from Nature

Summer Infant Mommies Melodies Gund Bear


The whole time the baby is inside you it is hearing the sounds of your body.  Heart beat, stomach noises and whatnot.

They are a stuffed animals that you turn on and they mimic momma's body sounds.

[chigirl29]

I agree with girlybuff.  My children slept with us and they are fine and are not spoiled as older children.  They have their own beds now and transitioned when appropriate for them.
In foreign countries, children sleep with their parents and there are not a significant number of deaths associated with squishing by parents and blankets.

Did you know that the fire retardent chemicals found in mattresses might increase the risk of SIDS?  It has been noted in several studies--sck08--since you were worried about vaccines.

For the original poster:

They have attachments that stick to beds now that alow you to co-sleep with your child once the baby has outgrown the bassinett.  My friends had one and it worked for them.

[girlybuff]

I cannot even hold a conversation with you.  You aren't really reading anything I'm saying.  You're reading what you wnht to read.
And secondly, please look up the meaning of sarcasm.
When I said that you weere right when you said that I meant dirty hospital rooms were better than sterile ones I was being sarcastic.
I get that we've come a long way but we have given up quite a bit to get wher we are.
There are pros and cons to advancement n technology.

[girlybuff]

Thank you very much for educating me. I don't know where I wouldbe without the benefit of your knowledge.
That's sarcasm by the way.

[sck08]

I'm glad I could help you.  Please let me know if you have any further questions! HUGS!