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im so frustrated!
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im so frustrated!

so courts on the 28th. and it was for child support. i talked to our friend and he told me that keith said that he called home and told his mom to send him the paper that says when we have court

(he said he never got it because he moved from california to like the east coast when i got the peice of paper at least. i know it was supposed to get sent to cali because it says it on the paper....so i dont know how it wound up in nj)

he told our friend he called the courts and had the date changed to september 15th!

i never got a call or anything from the courts...i dont kno if hes lieing but i got the paper on june 21st...here it is july 18 and if it was changed i havent heard anything yet and thats so messed up! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GO TO COLLEGE WHEN DAYCARES OVER A GRAND A MONTH! MY MOM AND I HAD IT ALL PLANNED OUT THAT COURT WAS THE 28 AND WE WOULD HAVE A DETERMINATION ON THAT THEN. I HAD TO GO BACK TO THE DAYCARE ASSISTANCE OFFICE AND GIVE THEM A COPY OF THE CHILD SUPPORT DETERMINATION. THEN ON THE 30TH OVER A GRAND WAS DUE FOR COLLEGE NOW THATS ALL MESSED UP AND I DONT KNO HOW WE ARE GOING TO MANAGE A GRAND THIS MONTH AND THEN A GRAND FOR DAYCARE AND THEN WHO KNOWS HOW LONG

I HOPE HE LIED. I HOPE HE DIDNT CHANGE THE DATE. I NEEDED THAT CHILD SUPPORT....SORRY DOMMY NEED THAT CHILD SUPPORT AND NOW IT LOOKS LIKE ITS IN THE FAR FAR DISTANCE. AND THE COURT HOUSE IS CLOSED NOW SO I CANT CALL THEM!
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Avatar_f_tn
Be prepared to go to court on the 28th, as planned, unless you recieve another certified letter telling you differently.

DO NOT pay attention to this mutual friend!

PAY ATTENTION to the court papers!
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Avatar_f_tn
I agree w/ wannabenana - be prepared to go to court on the 28th.  With court cases there has to be a VERY VERY good reason to change the date, its not just something that will happen because its inconvenient for one of the parties.  I know its hard, but theres no point in getting upset about what your friend said because theres a very good chance the information you got 2nd hand is not true - as wannabeana said, pay attention to the court papers, those are what count.  Also, it wouldnt surprise me if Keith is lying about this to try and get you to not show up for the court appearance in order to delay the whole process (and make it seem like you are to blame, etc.)
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o i am but the paper says it was sent to cali! so his mom didnt get the paper. if they couldnt find him in cali why wouldnt the marins tell the courts he moved or something!

im going to court on that day. they dont kno how much that court date ment to me!
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Avatar_f_tn
Kim: how did Keith know about the court date if he supposedly  never received his summons?

Also, I recall you said you were going to receive some mail that you had to sign for a few weeks ago and that you thought it was from the court.  Was that the summons?  I ask because if that was the case, you better bet that Keith got his summons to.
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Avatar_f_tn
i told our friend about it and his family knew about it and i guess osmeone told him.

yeah i got one in the mail and then they sent it to me where i had to sign it and they sent that signature back. they sent it twice!

i just pray he didnt change the date and i would like give my reasoning in why it should remain! all he should have to do is fax his income information and stay on the phone because thats how it worked last time!
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457721_tn?1256644398
DO NOT believe what this "mutual" friend said.  I would show up for court as planned on July 28th.

Also...I wanted you to know that when you get a judgement in your favor it CAN take from 2 weeks to 1 month to actually start receiving child support.  Keep that in mind.  I am sure the daycare assistance office will work with you based off of what the courts determination is.  

The only reason why I know this is because my husband pays child support on his daughter (VERY WILLINGLY).  

Hope it works out for you!
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Avatar_f_tn
i beleive what my friend said however keith is KNOWN for lieing but im like what if hes not lieing this time. court was the week after next and i need some money by sept 1st so that was over a months time.

his sister was like keiths more than likely leing and dont be scarred to just contact his mom because she would have been the one to send it to him if hes telling the truth. and his mom donesnt even have a FAX! the assistance paper said i need to go on the 28 (day of the court hearing ) and give them a copy of the determiniation other wise it was going to get turned over and i was going ot have to do EVERYTHIGN all over again!
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Avatar_f_tn
Ladies i hope your right about him lieing. im going to call the courts...no ill just go down there because it usually takes 2 weeks for them to call me back anyways. and th funny thing is even after i got those two peices of mail in, the lady who oversees our case, even called me and left me a message saying the court date and time and everything !

i feel a little bit better
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Avatar_f_tn
It totally sounds like he is lying!

Since you received the mail in person and had to sign that you received it, the same thing would have happened to Keith.  Its unlikely they wouldnt be able to find him especially since it had to be delivered in person so if they originally had the wrong address they would have done some searching for his current address pretty quickly.

The whole fax thing sounds fishy too.
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Avatar_f_tn
yeah well his mom doesnt have a fax she has a lap top and a desktop but im pretty sure she doesnt have a fax.

the marines know he has to pay child support because the court originally served him three times in californa and it doesnt come just straight to him it has to go through people anyways.  the envelope says superior court of new jersey....hello i dont think thats just something someone would ignore!

ugh men!
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men.... you cant live with em, you cant live without em......
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Avatar_f_tn
u should of went to court. i would call the cops are get a lawyer i hope he is lying get the court date sooner screw his a** u need child support thats a serious deal and the courts should make him go sooner hopefully he missed it then hes screwwed
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Avatar_f_tn
you got that right
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Avatar_f_tn
california law is tough! if u messed up there they give it to you 3 times harder than any other state.
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Avatar_f_tn
i live in jersey. hes right now in alabama i think..he was in cali for awhile.

its not like he wouldnt be able to come up here. during the 4th he wasnt allowed to leave the state, but since it was a weekend he signed himself out, had his ex drive 15 hours to get him so he could spend 24 hours in jersey with his friends, then she drive him all the way back just for her to come back here! so its not like hes too far away. i dont see what good reason he would have to move it!
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HES A JERK GO KICK HIS A**
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ugh my mom just came in from getting her hair done and she said one of the hair dressers say her babys father is a marine and he got the child support date postponed and the courts usually dont need a good reason, and will postpone it for military personel.

if i do call on monday and find that he got it postponed....is there anything i could do? could i try and get it moved or anything? i dont kno how this works really so bare with me
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141601_tn?1264732309
i would plan on going on the 28 it is his responsibility to notify the child support office of any change of address so they can make sure that he gets his mail if he did not notify them then that is his fault also if you have not received anything in the mail then the court date is still on trust me i am going through the exact same thing with both of my childrens fathers my sons father actually got his license suspended and a fine of 500 dollars because he didn't appear for a court ordered paternity test and actually i never even had a court date with him they mailed me a letter saying how much he had to pay and that was it and with my daughter i did my court date over the phone because i was on bedrest from my last pregnancy and they told him how much he had to pay i have not received any payments yet they said they should both start this month and my court date for my daughters father was last month so it takes atleast a month for the payments to start. Also unless he has a good excuse they won't postpone it and like i said him not getting his mail is not a good excuse because it's his fault he didn't notify them in the first place.
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Avatar_f_tn
wow it sounds like you have your hands full too! i wish this was so much easier than it really is. i called the lady in charge and left her a message hopfully she will call me back on monday with a yes its been changed or no. i still wonder how much child support i will be receiving

thank you so much.
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141601_tn?1264732309
they go by your income and his income and they kind of average it out I am not working right now and they actually put me down as if i were making minimum wage i told them that there was no way i can go to work any time so right now because i just had a baby june 24 and plus with the cost of daycare for 3 kids would be crazy and then not to mention my son is autistic and also has a weak immune system so he is always sick and having to go to appts for being sick and for test for the autisim thing that i would always be missing work but they said i had to get a job full time making atleast minimum wage and i told them well that is impossible right now especially with them only paying the amount they are telling me they have to pay i am not getting nearly enough for my daughter they are having him pay 56 dollars a week and for my son he has to pay 87 dollars a week which really doesn't help all that much considering day care is alot more then that so it really stinks but i guess i can't complain considering  they have not done a thing since they were born to help with them and my son is 5 and my daughter is 17 months so it's better then nothing.
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SO JUST TO LET EVERYONE KNOW I CALLED THE COURTS AND KEITH DID GET IT MOVED TO SEPTEMBER 15TH
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145992_tn?1341348674
Aren't they supposed to contact you first since you are the one filing?  New Jersey's family court system is sh!t.  Sorry to say it but we've been through it with them and my fiance's ex-wife and they are so backwards.
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Avatar_f_tn
i guess not. i havent recieved anything in the mail and i just called the assistance on child support...and they said they wont help pay until i receive child support and thats not even gonna be till september. i called some lady and i told her to call me back (hopeufully she will but it seems like no1 does what their supposed to at work) and i dont kno if they can move it back up or what even if its not the same date but if it was in august that would help!
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145992_tn?1341348674
They will move it if he has a good reason.  They usually do it once.  My fiance tried to bring his daughter's mother to court regarding child support and visitation and she was going on vacation the week of the court date and she asked for it to be moved and they did.  I was p*ssed because we were the ones who were taking her to court.  What gave her the right to call and have it changed.  But she did and she was able to.  They won't send you money unless Keith sends them money.  He pays them, they pay you, that's how it works.  So they will make him pay back child support from the day Dommy was born until the date he pays.  Not that it will help you now or anything.
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Avatar_f_tn
o i didnt know how it works..in regaurds to how we get the supprt. i know that it goes back to the day i filed it...dominic was i think 10 days old at the time. i dont see why he just cant do it over the phone and fax stuff in! i dont want him around us anyways. do you think they will move it up a little or something?
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172023_tn?1334675884
Don't count on getting much.  That way, you'll be pleasantly surprised by whatever you do get.

He sounds like a skunk, and he'll have to be forced to pay, and he'll probably try to weasel out, and you will spend the next 18 years fighting with him and chasing him down in the courts.

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Avatar_f_tn
he told me once he will try and find a loop hole somewhere.

but he cant run to far the marines have his *** for the next 5 years
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145992_tn?1341348674
My friend had a baby with someone who was in the army.  It took years for her to get anything from him.  He was relocated all over all the time.  Germany, Kentucky, etc...she would have the toughest time finding him and then getting the state that he was in to enforce the child support.  Just know that it's going to be a long tough road ahead.
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yikes....really? i dont even know what state hes at! i know hes not on a coast, in the us somewhere, and not in california anywhere.....that narrows it down for me a bit!
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145992_tn?1341348674
Yeah, now after years he's actually become a responsible parent and he even takes his son for summers.  Last year she allowed their son to stay there for the entire year.  They are very good parents...open and communicate.  When I first met her about 10 years ago, I remember the screaming matches him and her used to have over child support and his inability to stay in his son's life.
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193609_tn?1292183893
I don't know what you guys are talking about, but my ex is in the military and they followed his *** constantly making sure his family was being taken care of!!! If it comes out that a soldier is not taking care of his children, the military will take money from their check and send it to the kids mother themselves! The military does not just let kids set back and get NOTHING from their soldier father's (or mothers). So my advice to you is get in tough with the local JAG office, and make it KNOWN that Kieth is is NO WAY helping take care of your son, and the military will make sure that changes in a h e l l of a hurry!!!
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145992_tn?1341348674
Well that's good that they did that.  This was just my friend's individual experience.  It was really hard for her and I don't think the military did anything to help her.  
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218870_tn?1240259255
you may make out a bit better with daycare assistance with out the child support.  Apparently here in MD child support counts as income even if you dont get it.  If he is supposed to pay but doesnt pay it still counts as income for you whether you actually receive it or not.  So all assistance places may not help if you get awarded too much in child support.  He could really end up f-ing you if he doesnt pay.
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172023_tn?1334675884
He's only in the military for 5 more years.  That leave a whole lotta years for Kim to have to chase him for child support.

I repeat:  Do for yourself.  Anything you get from him will be an extra help.  Look forward to the future.  You have put yourself in a situation where you now have to work twice as hard to make a good future for yourself and Dom.  Don't expect much from Keith, and you won't live seething with anger and disappointment.   I

nstead, you'll live with pride in your accomplishments, with joy for your child, and with your dignity and self respect intact.

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Avatar_f_tn
Cheyenne_08- bare with me i know absolutly no military terms. whats a jag office and do you think they will do anything becuase after all we are going to court. its just not yet! because someone wants to get back at me at everyway possible and he knew i started school at the end of aug

kjbutcher- they say i need child supprot to start for them to help. i guess beause on the form it had both parents addresses, income, jobs/ schools etc so if thres only me in the household  then i need to be receiving child support

peek- yeah i know. i am trying. sturuggeling but trying. im trying to get a job because all my classes end before 1130am and daycares full time so i could get a job until like 5 to pick up dommy. you cant really count on anyone but youself i guess
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172023_tn?1334675884
"you cant really count on anyone but youself i guess"

Truer words were never spoken!  
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Avatar_f_tn
mail just came....here it is

"please be advised that the above captioned matter originally scheduled for (support) hearing) on july 28, 2008 at 01:30 PM., has been rescheduled for (support hearing) at ------------------- on september 15, 2008 at 1: 30 pm

questions about this notice?? contact the probation officer.........(WHO NEVER ANSWERS THE PHONE)

Ugh i wish they would move it!
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184674_tn?1360864093
I haven't read all the above posts, but this sounds EXACTLY like my case, which by the way has been dropped, so I won't be getting a modification of child support for who knows how long now.
Here's the deal how it worked for my case, which went through social services and not a lawyer: every time a court date was set for our hearing, a certified letter had to be sent to my ex, Jason. If Jason did not receive his certified letter, or it was not served to him, then the court date was still set, BUT the hearing would get a continuance. I made two wasted two hour trips for court that ended up in no hearing BECAUSE MY EX WAS NEVER "OFFICIALLY" SERVED, even though he knew our court dates each time they were set (they were set three times). Even if he had shown up to any of those court dates, our case still would've been "continued" and not heard because he was never "officially" served.
Okay, so this is a recap of what happened. I opened the case with social services July 2007. All the paperwork and information was processed and ready to go to court by Oct 2007. A court date was set for Jan 2008. Jason, however, moved his sorry *** out of AL to CO in Dec 2007.
This was social services mistake #1, Attempt #1: When Jason was living in AL, I wrote his address on the paperwork so he could be served. But what did they do? They must've pulled up his info on some other system and attempted to serve him at his previous AL address. Obviously, he wasn't there. So he wasn't served. They did not notify me that he was not served and they didn't notify Jason either (although they had his phone #, SSN, and address). I went to court in January only to get a continuance. Wasted trip #1.
Attempt #2: This case was for AL only, and Jason moved to CO. Therefore to reach him, social services would only send him a registered letter and would do nothing other than that because the case was restricted to AL only and was not an interstate case. Yeah, and all Jason had to do was NOT SIGN FOR HIS REGISTERED LETTER. The second court date, set for March 2008, was filed for a continuance because he had not been served. The only way I found out was by calling the social worker in charge of the court cases at that county courthouse; otherwise, I would've made another wasted trip.
Attempt #3, social services mistake #2: Another registered letter was sent to Jason in CO. This time, his roommate signed for it. So Jason had the paperwork. I called the same social worker at the county courthouse to verify if he'd been served. She said yes, but he didn't sign for the letter, but no worries, it went to his address and it was signed for, so that meant he was served. I called my local social worker to verify this and she said that yes, that counted for Jason being served. WRONG. I went to my court date June 2008 and whaddayaknow, it was going to get a continuance BECAUSE HE HADN'T BEEN SERVED! But did I get a call or a letter saying this? Nope. Nothing. Wasted trip #2.
That's when I dropped the case (I requested it). The only way they could serve him is by registered letter, and all he has to do is not sign for it. Easy out.
It'll take about another two years to get an interstate case opened through social services because I have to live in my county for three years to open one. I've lived in this county for a year. And I can't afford a lawyer, otherwise I'm certain this would've been done already.
So my point is, unless you know directly from Keith that he's been served, then don't count on your case being head. Show up though, unless you know you don't have to. But don't count on your case being heard.
I pursued my case for 11½ months through social services and it got nowhere, and it wasn't worth the time, stress, and gas money for me to keep continuing it.
Good luck to you though.
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Avatar_f_tn
he moved! on the paper it says it was going to cali....he moved before he got it he told everyone. but he said he called home and had them fax it to him...(i just found out hes in sc so thats where they had to fax it to) so he didnt sign for it!

that ***** for you and all they put you through! i really hope it works out for you! i really wished it was a LOT easier to get child suppor to help children along but i guess its not that easy (CLEARLY) and i doubt it will ever be that easy!
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193609_tn?1292183893
Jag is the term used to describe the lawyers/legal department in the military. Keith should still be paying SOMETHING for the baby since his name is on the birth certificate and the DNA test has come back. It will not hurt anything to at least speak with the marines and see what they say:)
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nope his names on the birth certificate. i called and asked him if he was going to come back to the hospital and sign it and he thought for two mins and said no he still has doubts dominics his...but the test did come back 99.99% i dont know where to go and talk to them....theres a recruting station in my town but they wont be able to help me and im worried they will be like "well mam what do you want us to do about it? hes already going to have to pay child support"
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193609_tn?1292183893
It sounds like you are between a rock and a hard place! I have been there!!! I am not sure the military will do anything since you two are not married and there is no support order in place! but the minute there is one and he doesn't pay it, the marines will be ALL OVER HIM! You just have to hold on and do the best you can for a while!!!
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Avatar_f_tn
yeah i know. i head that they will make him take care of his family!
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193609_tn?1292183893
They will force him! No matter what, Dominic will have insurance and child support. What is Dominic's middle name? My sister is having a baby in the next few weeks, and if it is a boy, she is naming him Dominic Michael, so I was just wondering what your little man's middle name was!
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Avatar_f_tn
Anthony......same as his fathers middle name : (

aw thats cute too tho.
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so more information.....

he just imed his ex, and his ex sent me their converstation saying that he pushed it back further for 7 months since september because hes getting deployed and stuff.

i dont understand how he would be pushing it back again, when the courts wont even call me back....i called and left messages to two different people last saturday, monday, wednesday, thrus and friday and not one of those people at that courts have called me back

i dont know if the marines will make him pay or if i will just have to wait for the child support
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193609_tn?1292183893
Military personnel are protected by the Soldiers and Sailors Deployment Act and therefore are protected against civil action being taken against them while they are deployed. If he is deployed, then he can have any legal action stopped until he is state side.
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Avatar_f_tn
yes i know about it. so theres nothing i can do. hes not deployed yet. so im pretty much screwed until he comes back....sorry IF?
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i just dont get it. i dont. our court date was for tomorrow. hes in nc. hes not going anywhere anytime soon. he could have made that court date so why are the marines pushing it back and why are the courts letting them. noone at the courts is calling me back and im sick of it. how many missed calls and messages do they need to finally call someone back?

i cant beleive they would do this. what about dominic and what he needs. thankfully i have my mom she helps with a lot. but what if she had no money? how would he get the things he needs?  A JOB! BUT HOW WOULD I BE ABLE TO WORK IF I DONT HAVE THE 1140 FOR DAYCARE? how is the marines just gonna be like sorry kiddo ***** to be you! what about providing for children
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13167_tn?1327197724
Kim, the military would treat you differently if you were his wife.  This is maybe not the best time to bring this up,  but it's true.  Military men get in big trouble if they do their wives wrong.   I'm not sure ex-girlfriends or their babies get the same protection.  
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Avatar_f_tn
its a shame their children dont though. the marines talk about FAMILY and stress the importance of taking care of your family. i might not be his family but dominic is! and if werent for my mom....my son would have pretty much nothing. at this rate hes never going to have to pay child support and this is totally what he wants
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