is it right

i dint know what category to put this question in but im freaking i recently got off all kinds of pills due to my nerves i was on them and realized i was missing my baby growing up so i finally gave them up and now i can be with my baby im pregnant again thought i had a miscarriage because i was told in the first place i couldnt have kids im not ready for a nother kid and my fiance isnt either ok im just 6 weeks preg and we were thinking about abortion and i know everybidy is gonna give me **** about it but im so afraid that if i have this one it will be more than my nerves can bare and ill go back to the pills i no i will and i dont want that for my little boy so in my part and with my story would abortion be bad

[vasdi]

I am so sas because I think I may be having a miscarriage after waiting for so long to get pregnant....you should not post this kind of questions on a site that is trying to give hope to people.  If you did not want another baby you should have prevent it,

[Fourpaws]

Have you thought about adoption? There are tons of families who can't have children on their own and would love to adopt.

As for an abortion, I don't see how one can have one especially after having a baby and seeing the joy they bring to themselves and others around them. There are other options. When you decide on what your going to do, maybe you should think about getting a permanant form of birth control so you are not faced with this decision again. Good luck to you

[hisgirl69]

see thats what im saying this is suppose to be a support site and itsnot everyone gives you **** and they dont know your story....so if you take time to read it here i will fill you in....

ok i was told i couldnt get pregant my organs wouldnt strech to hold the baby so any way i wound up getting pregnant well i had so many complications i went in labor 2 months early lost so much blood and it was so hard on me i almost died my child also had so many complications and just about died hisself ....after that my doctor told me it was a miracle and that i would probably never carry to fullterm again so it scared me alittle but after a while i tried again ended in 3 miscarriages and made me even more anemic..ok so i was scared from there i started having these pains in my stomach that wear unbearable eventually found out i had cervical cancer and endimetrosis so i got on so many meds and got addicted then i realized i was missing my child growing up so i finally kicked the meds now im happy as ever with my lil boy i didnt think after having like 3 doctors tell me that i couldnt get pregnant again that i actually would im not ready for another one and neither is my fiance and me and him are all my little boy has im afraid of dying if i try to have this one and my lil bot losing me and im afraid of it being to much on me and im afraid ill go back to the pills and i dont want that for my little boy besides he is a very small child and requires 24 7 attention so my fiance works all the time i just dont think i can handle it so im just wandering if with my story if abortion would be bad and im very sorry to hear you had a miscarriage i hope things go good for you

[tiredbuthappy]

i would be worried that the remorse and guilt from having an abortion would increase your problems with your "nerves". you have many things to consider here.

it's interesting how you phrased your question- "so in my part and with my story would abortion be bad."  you are asking for people to be upset with you. you are asking for a debate. this is something we cannot answer, especially since we don't know much about you or your family situation. we don't know your medical condition, if you see a therapist, if you're religious, etc...

so, would it be bad? consider the following questions and answer for yourself...
- "nerves" is a very non-specific problem. what is your problem? how are you treating it? did you simply go off your pills, or are you seeking counceling? without support you'll probably need to go back on to pills anyways.
- look deep inside. is this a convenient excuse? a cop-out? or is it a genuine concern.
- you're not ready to have another child yet. when do you think you will be ready? will this be a concern then too?
-have you spoken to your doctor? your therapist? if you're religious, you can speak to a pastor. all of these people could help you make an informed decision much better than we can. all of these things you need to consider and ask yourself.

back in January, a member of this forum was asking about aborting a pregnancy when she had an infant at home. she chose to terminate. maybe she'll see this and be able to share with you her thoughts.

[jenstam]

I'm not sure what you want us to tell you. Do you want someone to tell you that abortion wouldn't be bad? Nobody is going to tell you that. It is your life. You don't need a bunch of strangers to make this decision for you. Do you want our opinions? You will get that, guaranteed. Some people will be angry, some people will support you, some people will tell you that it doesn't sound like this child should be brought into your world anyhow. Especially if you don't want it.

This is your decision to make. Do YOU think abortion would be bad? Can you live with that decision? Could you love this child? Could you give this child LIFE and then let another family who cannot have children adopt it?

You are pregnant now. You have decisions to make. We are not going to make it for you. Good luck, I feel for you. Hopefully you can stay away from the pills. I'm not sure what the pills have to do with the pregnancy though? I'm confused with that one.

[tiredbuthappy]

you posted while i was typing...

the details make it sound like less of a cop-out. however, even reading all that i can't say whether it would be "good" or "bad." good luck making such a difficult choice. i assume you are seeing a high-risk obgyn.  make sure you get all the info you can get from him/her and use that to make your decision.

[tiredbuthappy]

by the way, how old is your baby?

[hisgirl69]

god at least someone on here is helpful but i take one pill a day now for my nerves they want me to get a hysterectomy in march and my little boy he isnt the healthist in the world you no so he needs my attention my full attention and after i have my hysterectomy im not gonna be able to have kids any way and im at the point in life with my little bot were i dont want any more and i cant handle anymore i no an abortion would be hard on my nerves but i think i could beat it ive thought about going back on the pills but i just look at my little boy he smiles and it all goes away so ....and thanks for being considerate and not judging me

[hisgirl69]

he is going on 3 and im not asking for anyone to make a dicision for me im asking for opinions and i no abortion is bad but with me being pregannt if i go along with it im afraid ill get sick get half way through it and have a miscarrigae like last time and be in the hospital for evr leaving my little boy without the care he needs

[jenstam]

What kind of care does your little boy need?

You want us to tell you if it is bad. Some think it is bad. Some think it's not bad. Some think it's the right thing to do. Some think adoption is the answer. You will get a whole spectrum of responses and opinions on the subject. In the end, you are looking for us to validate what you already know. You want an abortion but you feel bad. Right?

[hisgirl69]

im still thinking on it i honestly think its what im gonna do i just want more opinions on it

[mami1323]

Asking for women's opinions is not the way to go.  You will get mixed ones, especially from women who have been ttc for years and are unable to conceive and are on this forum.  To me this child seems like a miracle.  It didn't seem as though you would be able to get pregnant again.  Could you possibly consider adoption?  Either way, this is a choice you will have to make.  You are going to get a lot of opinions that you won't like with this post.  Good luck to you and your little boy.  I hope he gets better.

[jenstam]

So...the title of your post "is it right"...

Right for who? You? The baby growing inside you? God? Your son? Us?

You want validation and you're not going to get that here. Plain and simple. I already said it, you know what you want. Do you want us to talk you out of it? We don't walk in your shoes. We don't have to live with your decisions. YOU do. I have not heard of many women that don't carry grief and guilt after having an abortion. If it is strictly for health reasons, that is a different story. You need to speak with a doctor, assuming everything you have told us is correct. Again, good luck.

[tiredbuthappy]

jenshim said it well. i would stop pushing for opinions from people. you have made up your mind, yet you posted looking for opinions, despite expecting people to attack you

i am confused on how you can have such a negative opinion of the people on this forum when you have been a member for 3 days.

[pertykitty]

first i cant understand your writing without any periods.  second this is a question for you and your drs.  what are you wanting us to say?  have the abortion and get that hysterectomy the dr wants you to do?  ok do that.  do you have problems with pills?  sounds like you have many issues to work on besides the fact you are pg.  medhelp is a great site and i have found so much great advice here, but when it comes to your wanting approval for an abortion you wont find it here.  good luck i hope you can find what you need to do.

[hisgirl69]

ok i see were you all are coming from i guess i was just looking for someone to talk to you no ease things a bit help me not to worry so badly.....but i guess this site just isnt for that so ill let yall be and im sorry i write with no periods im not good with puncutation i dont know what goes were so sorry bout that but thank you all for the time you gave me and god bless

[RockRose]

hisgirl,  I remember when you posted before,  and I'm still confused about your diagnosis.  I've never heard of a woman whose "organs wouldn't stretch enough" and so they became anemic.  Have you had your cervical cancer treated and cured?  

I think you need to talk to your doctor,  or a nurse practitioner in the office,  and get an answer about your pregnancies and miscarriages.  It's only when you understand exactly what the diagnosis is that you can decide what is the best plan.

Best wishes.

[momof2girlssm]

I guess my question would be............... If you know you can't carry a baby to term, and your afraid to leave your little boy without a mom why wouldn't you use protection?  You said that you had almost lost your life while giving birth to your son and your son almost lost his life also.

Best Wishes

[kjbutcher]

will you ever be ready for another baby?  If so, I would consider doing everything possible to keep this baby and make sure you get the best care possible for both your baby and your nerves.  Since everyone has told you you cant have more children, you may want to consider having this baby.  Do you think you would want a sibling for your child?  How will you feel in 9 months when this baby would have been born?  If you dont want more children, you may want to consider a more perminant form of birth control.  Only you can make this decision.  Good Luck with whatever you choose.

[hisgirl69]

i was already anemic my pregnancy with my son i lost so much blood i became even more anemic and i honestly think them tellin me that i cant carry any more and me having 3 other miscarriages is what makes me not wanna go through with this one i mean if i get excited about it say i get down the road three months pg and have a miscarriage its gonna hurt me alot worse idk im suppose to go to the clinic in the morning to have it done idk if i will go or not i guess however i feel in the morning

[jenstam]

"i guess however i feel in the morning"
NICE!
Such a nonchalant attitude about something of such great magnitude.

Ladies, I'm not so sure this is a real post. Matter of fact, I'm almost certain it's not. I think it's someone with a fake profile trying to get us all riled up. I asked what was wrong with her son and she didn't answer. Also, being anemic is an easy fix. She doesn't have any medical terms for her problems she talks about. Most women who have a miscarriage are very hopeful once they are pregnant again and want to protect their baby with everything they have. I think this is a troll.

hisgirl, if you are indeed a real poster, please explain your situation a little better. Also, I would recommend visiting with a high risk OB doctor to discuss your situation and have a clear understanding of how this pregnancy can progress for you first, before making an permant "we'll see how i feel in the morning" decisions. This is a life you're talking about.

[tiredbuthappy]

i suspected similar. i think many people have which is why she didn't get the controversial responses she was expecting.

[kjbutcher]

I also think the same.  It is one thing to have 3 miscarriages and to be sad from that, but she is almost taking the approach of well I'll just kill it instead of waiting for the inevitable to happen.  If she was so sure it would be another miscarriage she would just wait for it instead of going to get an abortion if she feels like it this morning.  If anyone were truely having a hard time with the 3 miscarriages than they certainly would not be thinking abortion!  

[adgal]

Although I am pro choice, I have to be honest that after all I have been through trying to bring a very very wanted baby into my life, its hard for me to read a post like this one.  I guess you have to consider whether or not having this baby will truly risk your life.  I also had severe hemoragging  (one was actually life threatening) with two of my miscarriages, and am now anemic (not sure if I was before or not).  My OB has still not told me I can't have children, just that now we know there is a problem there, and it will have to be managed.  It can be managed.  As for your nerves, perhaps therapy might be a good solution?  And as for them telling you you can't get pregnant, I am not calling you a liar, but thats sort of hard to believe after 1 birth and 3 miscarriages.  They are obviously misinforming you as clearly you can get pregnant.  When I say I am pro-choice, its because I believe in actual choice...keeping the baby, adopting it out or choosing to terminate.  I don't beleive in abortion as a form of birth control, nor do I believe its a decision that should ever be taken lightly. I feel it has its place, but more in life threatening situations, etc.  I urge you to think through all options, and to be completely honest with yourself as to whether you can live with the decision you ultimately make.  I can tell you that there are many of us out here who would love nothing better then to adopt a child, but its a 7 year wait as so many women choose to terminate.  No matter what you decide, please get on birth control afterward.  I truly wish you well.

[BearHitch]

You know, I find it humorous that people will post on here "don't judge me" and "why am I not getting support" knowing that they will not (likely) get support for an abortion and I don't really see it as being judged... you after all asked for a stranger's opinion, why should we sugar coat it just to help your conscience?  Anyway, can't MedHelp make a new forum for the women wanting an abortion so they can stop posting it on here and getting people riled up and upset (as I am) and then they can filter out posters to help ease their minds?

[pertykitty]

bearhitch whether or not any of us agree with abortion or support it, its not our forum to chastise them.  i have had my feathers ruffled over the abortion issue,  but im not in their shoes nor do i have any idea of what their whole situation is.  i think if there were a forum specific to abortion, it would have to be monitored very closely because some anti abortion people would venture into their waters to yell at them as well.  its kind of a catch 22.  

[adgal]

As usual, I agree with you.  I would never choose abortion as a personal choice, and I have been beaten up for being pro choice, but until I know someones 100% situation I can't say whats right.  Besides, who am I to make that decision for someone or to judge them on it.  It is definately upsetting to hear for those of us (like myself) working so hard, or who have worked hard to have a child, but a seperate forum would raise a whole new set of problems on its own.  When I see a post that is sure to upset me, I just stay away from it.  Its tough not to put my 2 cents in, but it saves my peace of mind.