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lost my baby today
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lost my baby today

Today I found out that my baby died at 6wks 1 day.I was nine weeks. I opted to have the d&c done opposed to waiting it out, or using the medication. I feel terrible. I feel like even though by baby was already dead, that somehow by having the procedure I killed the baby. I'm having a really hard time with this. I have had two miscarriages in the past, but both were blighted ovums, but this one seems different. I was referred to a clinic that specializes in repeated micarriages, and we know we want to try again. I feel like I should've done more, and regret having the prodecure done because now I feel empty. How does one deal with this?
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Avatar_n_tn
I am so sorry for your loss.  You should look into the infertility/fertility forum on this site...the women on there are amazing and many are going through and have gone through (including myself) exactly what you are going through...that website is amazing...so inspiring and helpful...i adore it!
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Avatar_n_tn
I'm sorry for your loss, I will keep you in my prayers, God bless
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Avatar_n_tn
First I just want to say.. I'm so sorry to hear.. Don't think too much.  I felt exactly as you did and was sad for a long time, but found this site where everyone is supportive and listens sometimes better than DH and doctors.  I've had three m/c but never been given details about causes.  I just took the doctor's word on "bad luck" etc.  I was just referred to a specialist and in the process of tons of blood tests/sonograms.  You ask how does one cope?  Understand you are not alone, and stay hopeful, come to this site when you can to be a good listener to someone else.  I don't always participate but let everyone know that I am here and listening.  Good luck and remember you are not alone and you are strong since you've survived other m/c's.  Do you have other children?
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Avatar_n_tn
P.S. Don't give up... This is my 8th pregnancy i'm 36 weeks being induced in 2 weeks. I have had a blighted ovum as well along with several losses before 10 weeks and 1 at 12 weeks, I have a 8 year old daughter and I lost a baby girl at 20 weeks last year due to umbilicalcord accident, they finally decided to check me for low progesterone, sure enough that was it, I took medication for the first 12 weeks and here I am at 36 weeks with a healhy baby boy, my suggestion to you due what we did before we tried agagin, we went thru extensive chromisonal a,d genteics counceling before we tried again, we got the ok and 6 weeks later I was pregnant. Don't give up :-) And don't let others try and discourage you. I knew immediately after each loss I wnated to try again, after the loss at 20 weeks people said give up, I'm glad I didn't
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Avatar_f_tn
I'm sorry for your loss.  I know the feeling that you're describing.  I had to have a d&c and I felt exactly what you're describing.  It may sound crazy but I grieved by crying and it helped me move along.  My dr actually told me that it's better than keeping it all bottled up inside.  I hope you're feeling better soon and believe me, it does go away.  All the best to you.
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Avatar_n_tn
You will be in my prayers.  I just had a miscarriage too--it is so devastating.  You will have a healthy pregnancy--just surround yourself with people who love you.  I have found this site to be a huge comfort--be strong :)
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Avatar_n_tn
sorry about your loss.  I just lost my baby on Jan 6,2007
found out at my 16 week 5 day ultrasound that baby had stopped developimg around 13 weeks 1 day, i was given cytotec to induce labor and then delivered my baby i got to hold him but then the placenta woudln't come out so they had to do D/c for that, i still felt like i had done something wrong too. but we didnt!!
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Avatar_n_tn
I am parying for you, I too just lost my baby at 10 weeks, but the baby stopped developing somewhere before 6 weeks.  I did wait, but had the D&C anyway and went throught cramps and bleeding, I only waited to hold out hope they were wrong, but they werent.  I dont know if I was glad I waited or not.

We are here for you.
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175662_tn?1282217256
I am so sorry for your loss, and you are in my thoughts and prayers tonight.  I have had 4 total miscarriages, and they are never easy.  Talk to your DH and make sure you have support through this hard time.
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Avatar_n_tn
Thank you all for your kind words and prayers. I'm sure that I will get through this, it just hurts really bad right now. I have gotten a lot of really great information from this forum, and it's been a lot of help. Thanks again.
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I am so sorry for your loss.  My prayers are with you - THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT.  It happens to so many women, you are not alone.  
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Avatar_f_tn
So sorry for your loss.
I to have had 2 mc.
Just remeber these things happen for reasons not in your controle, it's not your fault.
My prayers are with you.

God Bless

Scani
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159354_tn?1286371288
I'm so sorry, I went through those same emotions in Sept when I too had to have a d&e at almost 9 weeks.

It was that horrified feeling as 'what if the drs were wrong'...what if I hurt my baby.

You didn't.  I didn't.  Your baby was in GODs loving arms already.

I too had 2 previous m/c but they were both natural and I dealt with them a lot better.

I'm so, so sorry.  Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you through this.
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164559_tn?1233711618
You absolutely did the right thing.  The doctor would not have proceeded if he was not 100% sure that the pregnancy was not viable.

It is a cruel thing that we still fel pregnant after that little soul has made his flight to heaven.

I am so sorry for you loss and I pray you have a child in 2007.
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184622_tn?1258559967
My thought and prayers are with you and your family.  I am so so sorry for your loss.  God bless.
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Avatar_f_tn
I had to go through something similar too... In September at my 12 wk appointment I found out my baby's heart stopped at 10 wks.  The doctor urged a D&C and I went ahead with it because it was terrible thinking of a dead baby inside of me.  However, I had to call my employer at the crisis pregnancy center that I used to work at to make sure it wasn't an abortion.  I was so ashamed of doing that because even if she was dead, she was my baby!  I know what you are going thru- I don't have any advice to give you, because to this day, even though I am now 5 wks pregnant again, I still think and reminisce about that baby.  Good luck to you- I hope that God helps heal you as He did me.  
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Avatar_n_tn
i am soo sorry for your loss. do not feel guilty about having the d&c. nothing you could have done differently would have changed the outcome. i just had a mc that took 5 days of severe cramping/bleeding to pass the baby and i wish i culd have had a d&c. hang in there and definitely go to the specialist. i an also going to see a specialist as i have had 5 consecutive mc. don't wait that long.... good luck and God Bless!!
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Avatar_n_tn
sorry about your loss, i lost my baby 8 days ago (im 35yrs old). Its my first mc, and i know the hurt and the disappointment. God has send several ppl on my path the last week to encourage me not to give up despite of my age and that im diagnosed with PCOS. I dont have advice, as im still working through my own loss, but i will keep you in my prayers.
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Avatar_n_tn
I'm sorry for your loss. It'will pass. It was a natural loss. I'm praying for you ..

You will have a healthy baby next, as you wish. God keeps everything in balance.

My HCG is decreasing, I'm constanly bleeding and my pregnancy is coming to an end very soon. I understand how sad you feel now.
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