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miscarriage at 12 1/2 weeks
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miscarriage at 12 1/2 weeks

I just miscarried at 12 1/2 weeks.  I had a CVS and as a result had a loss of amniotic fluid and 16 days later miscarried my little boy here at home.  This was my first miscarriage, and seeing my tiny baby when he came out was completely devestating and I am having a difficult time getting through this.  Has anyone else had a similar experience and have some advice on how to cope?
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165078_tn?1255610007
OMG, I am so sorry I had a m/c but not that far along. I cannot even imagine the pain you are going through.  I will keep you in my prayers.  Again, I am so so so sorry.
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Avatar_f_tn
I'm sorry for your loss, I too miscarried at home. I was almost 11 weeks.I had no pain until our baby actually dropped into my underwear.(sorry)  There was no real blood for another 1/2 hour. I could see their fingers and toes.  He or she was beautiful and it was so difficult to see. But I'm happier that I saw our baby, it allowed me a chance to say goodbye and to give him/her a safe home.  We are catholic and I'm lucky to be the secretary at my church. I had tons of support from our priest and we actually buried our child in the catholic cemetery, they have a circle of innocence just for people like us or children lost at birth. No one knows that our child is there but my husband and I.  

It will take time to heal, and you will never forget, but remember that you have an angel and make sure your children know they have one too. Our 2 year old knows. And he is going to be a big brother in 21 weeks, God allowing.

God bless you and your family. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
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Avatar_n_tn
I'm so very sorry to both of you and your late miscarriages. I miscarried at only 7 weeks and that was hard enough to deal with, I can't even imagine.

((HUGS)) to you.
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Avatar_n_tn
I just wanted to let you know that I am so sorry for your loss,  know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers through this difficult time.
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164559_tn?1233711618
So sorry for your loss.  I had two miscarriages this year and I know how painful it is.  

Find a way to honor that little life...plant a tree...donate to a children's charity.....write a poem.

Grieve as long and as hard as you need to.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Ciel
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Avatar_n_tn
Thanks so much for all of your kind words,its such a difficult time but it helps hearing from people who know what I'm going through.
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Avatar_n_tn
I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks  years ago. I started to hemmorage and had to go into emergency, where surgery was performed so I did not have the same visual experience as you did. I wanted to let you know that I am very sorry, there are no words that can comfort you but please remember that things happen for a reason. That made me feel slighlty better. The good news is that my best friend had a miscarriage last November (10 weeks) and successfully became preggers within 35 days and now has a happy and healthy baby girl she just brought home. Take care of yourself, good things will happen!
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161782_tn?1201221532
I am so sorry!!

I, too had a mc after a CVS at 14 weeks.  Ended up in the hospital for a few days with an emergency cerclage that didn't hold.  It was a nightmare.

I will never have a CVS again, that's for sure.

It really stinks being that 1%.

I did end up getting pregnant three months later with my daughter.  I opted for an amnio with her.  It's strange to think that if I did not have the first MC, I would not have my little peanut.  I guess that is my silver lining.

Will you try again soon?  Again, I'm really sorry this happened to you.
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Avatar_f_tn
im sooo sorry that is horrible! god bless you dont worry, wait until you get your first af and give it a try. I was pregnant with my first and it ended with a d&c on nov 10, my BF and I first appt. was on nov 9th and that was the worst day of my life, hearing no heartbeat seeing no baby on 3 ultrasounds, my baby died at 8 weeks i still cry everyday this morning when i was driving to school i bust out in tears. I just hope and pray I get pregnant this cycle. I was a reg 26 day I spotted 6 days before i got this period on sunday it should be over tommorrow i only get my periods for 4 days i cant wait to concieve (conceive).
Keep your head up and dont worry focus on trying for a new baby.

Sticky Baby Dust To All Of Us!
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151571_tn?1189759427
I am sorry you had to go through this.  I too suffered a miscarriage in March 2005 at 11w4d.  I went to the ER for cramps (something told me the pregnancy wasn't right) anyway, as they called me back my water broke and then another gush.  Well, once I got back there and they got me undressed, the doctor did his thing.  He didn't let me see my little angel and said he was sending my precious baby to the lab so the doctor could do test if needed.  Once I got home and focused a couple of days later, I realized I needed closure and I called the hospital and asked for the pathology department to see if it would be possible for me to get my little one.  To their amazement, as well as mine, they had NO RECORD!  Apparently, this jerk took it upon himself to "throw my baby in the trash".  I was devestated, emotional stressed, etc.  I am sure you understand that.  Anyway, needless to say, he no longer works in the local ER and I did go on to try again, only to have a chemical pregnancy in July 05 and miscarry at 5 weeks.  I thought I was through but to my amazement I found myself pregnant (& frightened) again in October 2005 and went on to deliver a beautiful, healthy baby boy this past June.  He is 5 1/2 months old and to put the icing on the cake, I am almost 13 weeks pregnant with another gift from God!  I worry myself to death, but I have seen the heartbeat 2X, today for the second time.  So....God works in mysterious ways...he knew when it would be right for me to have my babies, and I know my precious little angels are in heaven looking down and I will reunite with them one day.  I wish you the best of luck and I hope your time comes soon!  Sticky, Sticky baby dust to you and please keep us posted.

Angie
***@****
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Avatar_n_tn
A CVS is a genetic test similar to amniocentisis but can be done earlier than amnio.  The miscarriage rate is 1% so I thought I was safe, I also would never go through a CVS again.  I really believed this baby was meant to be, I never imagined I would have any complications.  I'm having such a hard time because i feel like its my fault this happened, as a mom its my job to keep my baby safe and instead I put him in harms way.  

I'm so sorry that you were also one of the 1%, my heartfelt prayers go out to you.
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Avatar_n_tn
I am so sorry for your loss.  It really hurts to have a mc especially when it happens at home and you see the little person.  I miscarried at sixteen weeks two years ago and it happened partially at home and at the hospital.  I lost identical twin boys and I got to see both of them.  My heart was broken and it has taken me this long to try and have another baby.  Currently I am six weeks.  I would suggest counselling to help you overcome the pain or I really like the idea of having a tree planted in the baby's name.  I truly feel your pain and i hope you feel better soon.
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Avatar_n_tn
I am so sorry for your loss.  It had to be difficult to see that.  What is a CVS?
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Avatar_n_tn
I went through exactly the same I was 12 weeks and 1 day and started bleeding then a few days later it got really heavy with clots then I got a big thump in my tummy and knew it was my baby I went to the toilet and out came my little baby fully formed im sure a boy also I couldnt believe what I was seeing I screamed it was very traumatic and that was Nov last year. I'm so sorry for you loss it is very cruel to go through this our little babies are in heaven now. I went on to get pregnant again 3 months later and now have my 2nd girl who was born 4 weeks ago.
Take care im really sorry.
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Avatar_n_tn
Thanks so much for your kind words.  I'm so sorry for your loss last year, right now for me I feel like the pain will never go away.  Congratulations on your little girl, I'm hoping that I will be able to get pregnant again soon as well.
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Avatar_n_tn
hi, i am so sorry for you as i had the same only today i found out,when i went for scanning. doctor gave a week if the baby come out by itself otherwise i have to do the sergery (surgery), i am scared and shocked,my husband is very worried about my and the rest of the amily as we are living far from them.... doctor didn't explain how the sergery (surgery) is gonna be.she said i have to wait for a week. dose anybody know?
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Avatar_n_tn
I'm sorry for your loss. I know words can't explain the thoughts, pain, and sadness your feeling but this is not your fault. You can't blame yourself because you didn't cause this. In this world bad things happen everyday to good people and we don't know why but I believe if we look to God he will guide us through the storm. Have faith and Believe for goodness, and don't blame yourself this was not your fault.~GodBless
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108334_tn?1253647995
I am very sorry for your loss. My SIL had a miscarriage at 14 weeks and it was devestating to her and my BIL.
Did the hospital say anything about a support group for loss? When I had a MC the hospital gave me a ton of information on where I could turn if I needed someone to talk to. They also had support groups. Are there any resources like that in your area?
I know it is easier said than done, but it is not your fault, everything happens for a reason, although we may not know what that reason is.
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Avatar_n_tn
I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks and actually felt and saw the sac fall out into the toilet and could not stop crying knowing it was my baby.  It was as big as my hand.  I can't stop thinking about it, but I know I have to be strong. I don't know what else to do about my feelings....where to go from here, if it is ok to talk about it, etc or just deal with it.  Why does it hurt so bad?
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Avatar_n_tn
I am so sorry for your loss. I know how incredibly painful this must be for you. I also had a miscarriage at 12 weeks, just on April 1, 2008. I had really light spotting for a few days and as soon as it turned red I knew I had lost my little one. I tried to schedule a D&C but the miscarriage began to happen naturally in the middle of the night. The cramps were so painful and the bleeding was so bad that I ended up in the emergency room. I passed most of the baby on my own and am still trying to figure out how to deal with the loss. It was so graphic, awful, and sad. I want to heal and feel closure. I am not sure what to do. My friends and family have been amazing but my concern is trying again. I know I will be so panicked that this may happen again. Any advice for moving forward?
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159354_tn?1286371288
I'm so sorry for your loss.

I lost 3 babies in 2006 and all three were the most painful experiences of my life.  2 were natural and the third I allowed a d&e.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I found that this group of ladies will see you through some of the worst times and scaried moments in your life, even when your husband and family can't understand.

Whatever you need......just vent or talk.  We can all help you through it in our own way.
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Avatar_n_tn
my heart gos out to u all cus i jut lost a baby at 15weeks...3weeks ago. cant get over it. he was my little baby.i feel a failure .this was my 6th pregnancy.i've got 3 boys and had 3 miscarriages.i cry everyday..i want my baby back and am not sure wheher to try 4 another baby.
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Avatar_n_tn
hi, i am just wondering what you did with the baby once you passed it?
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513504_tn?1214175594
firstly im very sorry this has happened to you. i myself know what its like im 37 yrs old and already have two girls one 11 and one 14. but in between ive had 7 miscarriages. one i carried to almost 5months. all were lost at home except one which the heart had stopped and i had to have a D&C. that one hit me the worst as it was much older. now two years with several medical probs im 5mths gone and im hoping that all will go well. i know the lose you must feel and noone can say exactly how you feel but believe me when i say there is always hope and if your planning to another chance. keep the faith . and god bless.

bestwishes sinster
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592626_tn?1219020279
my sister has just had a miscarriage im devasted she is literally only gone in the ambulance,i saw the baby im so upset and my sister is so soft i don't know how she is gonna cope and i don't know how 2 react when i see her again its lucky though that other family members are being really supportive she was just 13 weeks and was saying tonight that she could barly walk and looked very pale then all of a sudden she just let out a scream and her waters broke then upstairs the little baby came i seen its little hands and stuff im so upset.
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Avatar_n_tn
I just had a miscarriage, 2nd one at 12 weeks exactly. We are wondering why at exactly the same time it could have died? We are getting tests and pathology done on the baby. I saw the baby, little hands and feet fully formed. The face was so delicate. I delivered in the hospital and had the best, caring nurse ever! They were so sympathetic. However the doctors weren't. Hopefully they'll figure out what's wrong so we can try again, soon.
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Avatar_n_tn
I just lost our second baby.  We had to have invitro to get pregnant. When we finally did we conceived twins.  At 6 wks we saw both heartbeats. At seven wks the first baby no longer had a heartbeat and it was absorbed by my body over the next month or so. The other baby had nothing but perfect checkups. We vene heard the heartbeat via doppler at 10wks. At our 12 wk ultrasound the baby no longer had a heartbeat and the amniotic sac looked like it had collapsed. We had a D/C.  The pathology reports showed that the baby was normal and a boy. Wondering if its me...
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Avatar_n_tn
I just had a miscarriage on the 7th and feel completely devastated. This was my first pregnancy and it was a shock when I found out I was pregnant. I called my doctor on Friday to get in because I felt something wasn't right. Her nurse assured me that everything was fine and that I was over the hump for being at risk for a miscarriage. That night around 7 I started spotting and around 11 my cramps were so bad and I was in so much pain I just cried. We decided to go to the hospital but when I went to use the restroom before we left I started to lose the baby. I felt a gush of fluid come out of me, having absolutely no control of it what so ever. I continued to miscarry at the hospital. It has been very difficult for me to deal with, and the hardest part for me is I don't know where I lost the baby. I thought it was at the hospital but the doctor informed it was just a blood clot. I feel so helpless not knowing where my baby went or what happened to it. I feel like this is so overwhelming and I'm not sure how anyone is able to overcome this.
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Avatar_n_tn
I know your pain.  I was 12 wks 4 days when we did not hear the twins heart beats, when just 4 wks ago we had.  I was sent to the hosp. to deliver the babies and then under go a D&C.  I felt my water break and then the baby A came, my second bag of water then broke and baby B came.  I had to stay in bed, with the babies there until the doctor arrived. I could not look at my babies, I'd seen their perfect still bodies on the ultrasound.  I had a picture in my head of them and I was not sure I was strong enough to see them.  It already hurt so bad to lose them both.  I don't understand what happened.  I have 3 healthy girls, and this was my 4th pregnantcy.  I am hoping for answers from tests, at birth they were the perfect weight and size for their age.  I want to try again but am scared, so is my husband.  I pray for answers and guidance.
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Avatar_n_tn
I am feeling the same pain...I went to the doctor yesterday because of some light spotting..They did an ultra sound and discovered my baby had no heartbeat..this is my 1st pregnancy and im devastated..it hurts so much!! I just cannot understanf why my precious baby is dead.the worst part is i have to wait to pas the baby..so i kno a miscarriage wil occur i just dont know when..this is the hardest thing ive ever been through.i feel for you abd everyone else who has been through this..
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Avatar_n_tn
my first two kids,my girlfriend is totally devastated,and to be honest i am not far from there also ,week before,doctor did an ultrasound we saw them in fine conditions,3 days later,abdominal pain,on that tragic  Wednesday Vaginal bleeding,it was terrible,we are going to try it again,hope this time it works(PLEASE GOD!!!!),now the main problem is to get my girlfriend in the mood to do it.  :(
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Avatar_n_tn
im so sorry for everyones loss.
i miscarried in feb , i would have been about 9 or 10 weeks, since that was the last time i'd had sex, then my boy friend and broke up. I didn't realize I was pregnant, i had really bad cramping, and heavy bleeding I passed the baby in the loo.  I couldn't believe what I saw, you could see its little hands and feet .  I was so shocked and scared and didn't go to the doctor, i realize this was really silly, i just couldn't take it in, and i didn't want anyone touching me.  I'm devastated that my boyfriend ended our relationship, and now i've lost a baby, it just seems that none of it was meant to be, i feel hurt and confused as to why i'm going through this. My boyfriend didn't want me, and he wouldn't have wanted this baby, but I would have kept it and it would have known it was loved, even though it wasn't planned.  I told my ex what happened, he just said he was sorry to hear about it.  I'm not coping very well with everything, I need to move on with my life but its constantly in my thoughts, i cant get the images of the baby out of my head.
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Avatar_n_tn
I read all the comments and I had a different experience.  I was 12 weeks and about a day or two pregnant, we finally told everyone!  But then I started spotting and then  there was alot of blood.  I went to the emergency room and that experience was awful because they just left me to sit and bleed without any extra pads!

I figured it was nature's way of taking care of something that was going wrong with the pregnancy and I never grieved over the loss.  I never felt like it was a baby, not yet anyway.  

We got pregnant again in about 3 months and I had my third child, a really beautiful girl.

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Avatar_n_tn
I'm in the process of a MC now at 12wks 2 days and I'm truly devastated. I don't know how to cope and although my hubby is being supportive, I am really struggling to talk about it. I started bleeding yesterday and last night noticed a few clots. Today we had our dating scan and we got the news that the baby has not been growing properly and that there was no heartbeat. We both so desperately want another child and this seems to cruel.
So far I have just been concentrating on my daughter because she helps to take my mind off what is really happening.

I'm due to have a d&c tomorrow morning which I am dreading but I know that it will also put an end to the pain too. Not sure if I can cope with seeing the baby yet or even if this is an option but having read that some of you have, I am now considering it to help me grieve and get closure.

At the moment I am feeling a mix of emotions including devastation, numbness and guilt.

My heart goes out to everyone who has suffered a MC. I truly know how painful they are both physically and emotionally.
I've just finished reading all the posts and they have helped me a great deal.

Thank you and god bless
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1043895_tn?1253520087
i had m\c in february this year and it wsa the most painful thing to go through, worse when your partner is not suppotive, and presently iam esxperiencing another m\c. i dont knw if i should tell him coz our relatioship has been rocky since february and we never planned to have this one, it came as a suprise that i am pregnant and i started to have trrble abdorminal pain and bled heavily . i love him so much, but its as if he cant see that, i made a choice to go through this one alone coz it wont make a diffenrence  if i tell him. life is really hard for me, i mean two m\c in one year, i am going through hell right now and as for my family they have  never been suppotive with the first m\c coz they dont like my partner that much.  i need to make decisions about my life now and its so hard and painful.    
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Avatar_f_tn
Thank you for sharing this very personal event.  Last week I was told our 12 week old baby had died in utero (sorry I don't like the word fetus).  The next day they induced me because baby had been dead about 2 weeks and hadn't come naturally.  I also delivered a tiny baby.  I am happy I got to see my baby although it is a very devastating experience.  I can't find any information except on forums like this on this kind of experienc.  There is info on stillbirth but they classify that as after 20 weeks.  The info on miscarriage will say usually it is natural, you pass "tisssue" or you have a d & C.  I had no idea this could happen!  And it is almost like my experience isn't real because it isn't validated in literature.  I am glad my doc didn't direct me to a d& c as I had had this previous for miscarriage and the experience left me so confused.  Where was my baby?  What did it look like?
Again, thank you for creating conversation in this.  I would love to see our experiences recognized in professional literature and even in miscarriage support.  This is definately more than "heavy bleeding" and "passing tissue".  
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Avatar_m_tn
went for my 16week check up and got told they couldnt find the heart beat so ended up down hospital,had a scan and my baby had died over 4 weeks ago inside me, i chose to let nature take its course, one week later iwas getting labour pain really hurting i was crying,then my waters went and my baby came out,then the after birth, he was so real,i couldnt stop looking at him,i took him to the hospital a day later and they are now cremating him ,i never wanna go through that again,it was painful and horrible.
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Avatar_f_tn
I'M TRULY SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS I HAD A MISCARRIAGE AT 12 WEEKS 1 WEEK AND 4 DAYS AGO AND I SEEN MY LITTLE BABY CAKES TOO.   THIS IS FOR ANYONE WHO HAVE HAD A LOSS JUST KEEP THE FAITH!!!!!  GOD KNOWS ALL AND HE MAKES NO MISTAKES... HE KNOWS YOUR HEART AND IN DUE TIME JUST DON'T GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Avatar_f_tn
I just found out yesterday that my baby has no heart beat. Im nearly 13 weeks, but the scan showed my baby died at 11 weeks. I don't know whether to let nature take its course and have m/c or have a curette. I would like the baby in my hands, to bury and to plant a tree on. This is a ritual that I would like to perform to give thanks to the little life that filled me with so much hope, joy and appreciation for my loved ones and life in general. I am truely thankful for this experience. It is important that this life that was created, which is truly miraculous, and is now passed, can return to the earth from where it came and another life be created in another form as is the way of nature. I wish for peace to those who have suffered the same loss and hope they can find some solace in the experience.  
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Avatar_n_tn
Sometimes there isn't a fully formed baby and that's why we miscarry. What happens is the egg partially fertilizes and makes extra cells, but the complete information to make the baby just isn't there. In some cases, its just a mass of cells, in other cases your body absorbs the baby
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Avatar_f_tn
Hi,  thank you so much for your note. My story is exactly the same as yours. I was 12 weeks and no heart-beat. I had to have my DC today and I am still recovering. I logged on and found all these posts, that have helped me tremendously. Thank you for sharing your story.
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