miscarriage at 17 weeks 1day

I AM 30 YRS OLD I WAS PREGNANT WITH MY FIRST CHILD FOUND OUT I WAS RH NEG SO I HAD TO GET RHOGAM SHOTS, WENT TO ALL MY PRENATAL AND WORKED FULL TIME AS A CASE MANAGER. I WAS AT WOEK ON WED AND FELT PRESSURE WENT TO THE HOSPITAL FOUND OUT I WAS DIALATED THE BABY HEART RATE WAS DROPPING AND AMNIOTIC FLUID WAS LOW. I WAS ASKED IF I WANTED TO TAKE MEDICINE TO TERMINATE THE PREGNANCY OR WAIT IN LABOR AND DELIVERY UNTIL THE BAY CAME OUT NATURALLY. MY CHICE WAS TO WIAT IT OUT. I PUSHED THE BABY OUT AT 9:40 PM AND FOUND OUT IT WAS A GIRL. MY HUSBAND KNEW ALL ALONG IT WAS A GIRL. IT IS JUST SO  SO HARD WE HELD HER AFTER SHE WAS CLEANED UP FOR ABOUT 3 HOURS AND TOOK LOTS PF PICTURES SHE WAS SO PERFECT AND HAD ALL HER TINY FEATURES A PERFECT MIX BETWEEN MOM AND DAD. THEY TOLD ME IT WAS DUE TO AN INCOMPOTENT CERVIX BUT THEY WERE GOING TO RUN TEST TO DETERMINE THE EXACT CAUSE .MY CLOSEST FRIENDS MY MOM AND MY HUSBAND WERE THERE TO WITNESS EVERYTHING. HAS ANYONE WENT THROUGH THIS ANY ADVICE, COMMENTS OR EXPERIENCES WILL HELP THANK YOU.

[AnnieBrooke]

I am so very sorry.  Nothing makes it better right away, you just have to accept that you are going to grieve so deeply and life won't feel anything like normal for a while.  One thing that helped me when I miscarried twins was to be able to have a -- I guess it would be a service -- for them.  I didn't miscarry as late as you did, so we had them cremated, but it did ease my pain a bit to feel like I was still taking care of them and treating them and the situation with every kind of care and respect, even past the point when their hearts stopped beating.  The other thing that did help was to begin the plan to try again.  Loss of the twins had represented loss of hope of ever trying again, and when we worked out that we could still try, it eased the pain of it feeling like the end of the road.

[Tanker Chic]

I am so sorry for your loss.. I have never experienced that kind of loss and probably can't even imagine the true magnitude of what you have been through..

I really just wanted to offer you some encouragement.  I also have an incompetent cervix. I had an emergency cerclage put in at 18wks becasuse I was already 4cm dilated.  So far the cerclage is working and I'm now 28wks.  I also have friend who lost her baby due to IC, but in her next pg she had an elective cerclage put in at around 13wks and carried to 40wks...

I'm sure you pain runs deep, but I just wanted to let you know there is hope for your future pregnancies.  

best of luck to you...  

[Michele, Katy, TX]

I am so very sorry for your loss as well.....I wish I had words.  I always wish I had words when I hear stories like yours but there just don't seem to be any.  I always want to speak from my heart, yet I always get this big lump in my throat and just can't seem to.  Again, I am so sorry.  I hope and pray that you find strength and peace through your husband, family, and friends.

I was going to say what the other ladies said as far as having an IC.  I don't have one, but have know many women on here at MH that have and they get the cerclage.

Again, so very sorry for your loss.....

[ladywoo08]

I also Had miscarriage in i was 17 weeks. But He was a boy. I went to all my app. everything. Back in April. I don't no wy it happen. I look at it as if he's nd a better place and its wasn't my time to be a mother just not yet. Just Keep Your Head Up. Keep Moving Forward.  

[Lance06]

An excellent person to talk to about this on the Pregnancy 18-34 communitiy is Amberlee. Her user id is Asking4AMiracle. She also went through this, and is pregnant again in her third trimester with a cerclage to keep her little boy in. She lost her first son Aidyn to the exact same thing. Hang in there girl.....and if you need any advice, Amberlee is a great person to turn to!

[scorpiogirl32]

im sorry for your loss

[RIPBLESSED7_8_09]

thank you all for the words of encouragement i really appreciate it and it really helps alot.everyday i just pray god gives me strength i understand she was needed more back in heaven. we are having a thanksgiving service for her next week.please continue to keep me in your prayers.