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miscarried at 19 weeks
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miscarried at 19 weeks

Hello, I misscarried my baby boy on Wednesday At 19 weeks. I had been bleeding and passing huge clots for 2 weeks, hospital said it was due to low placenta, then on Tuesday my fears were confirmed after i was worried i was leaking fluid, and i was right, although he still had a heartbeat tghey said he wouldnt survive.  I was told to make a decision but i didnt have to, 5 am it started, and he was born at 815am on 8th feb.  He was perfect, but so tiny.  We named him George.My boy will be buried next week.   I have had no advice given as of yet to what happens now in respect of my body.  I was told a follow up at the hospital is in 6 weeks. But i want answers now.  We wanted no tests done on George but tests are being done on the placenta.....when do you get the results?  It was my second pregnancy, i have a 3.5yr old girl so i know i bleed after birth, but i dont know how long for.  Also the pain of the loss when will it get easier.  I have never had ne so close to me die, and this is tourture. I am just glad i had the chance to say goodbye on Tuesday, and for him to come in his own time.  Im just so empty...Please help with any advice.

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Firstly i am so sorry to hear of your loss, i can't imagine what you are going through! i lost my baby at 10 weeks, i was constantly crying for about a month, i still think everyday oh i'd be this far now, it does get easier but i think i will take longer for you as you were nearly 5 months. bleeding should stop soon, but it depends on the person. there are no words to discribe what a women goes through, just know that you are not alone... that helped me!
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thank you, thats all i kept thinking last week.....'if i can make it to 24 weeks then he may have a chance....but it wasnt meant to be.  its breaking my heart, as we wanted a boy, and we kinda knew throughout the pregnancy it was a boy, but it was never confirmed until he was born. Thats all i wanted was two children a girl and a boy, and its breaking my heart that he is never going to be here...
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I am so sorry for your lost, I can't explain the pain I felt for you, but just pray and God will make a way, remeber Job after he lost all he had he was given better, what the devil mean for destruction, God meant it for construction, climb above your storm and make it a stepping stone to success, I am sorry I have no answers for you but I lost my baby at 2 months along and I bleed for about 8 days, the bleeding was very heavy, take care and God's richest blessing towards your way.
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It's horrible the way the world works! All i can say is keep your chin up.. will you be trying for another? I know you can never replace your son. But ttc has helped me. I'm sure you will get tests back soon. your body will heal but the mind takes a lot longer. atleast you have a wonderful daughter, i'm sure she can help you through it.
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im lost not being pregnant, i siad to my bf that i read drs recommend 2 periods then try for another, and when i said that he just looked away and said nothing, so i dont know if i offended him. He said i didnt, Its still early days, i feel one minute i want another baby then i feel no he was my second and he will never be replaced. Im just so mixed up...is this the normal process tho feeling all these emotions?
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Please if ne one has experienced a m/c please add me to your msn....as i have so many questions

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xxxx
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What makes this harder is my next door neighbour is 27 weeks pregnant....b4 we were comparing notes, now its just haunting me when i see her.....i dont hate her, its just a bad reminder as when her baby is here i know George would have been not long after....Plus she is 19 yrs old and a bit immature....so i just hope she understands the pain and keeps her distance for now.  I will phone a counseller tomorrow, did ne one else have counselling and did it help?
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WE LOST OUR DAUGHTER @ 37 WEEKS...DEVASTATING....ONLY TIME WILL HEAL YOU AND THAT STARTS WITH PUTTING HIM TO REST...LET YOURSELF FEEL WHAT YOU FEEL AND DO IT IN YOUR TIME.DONT ALLOW OTHERS TO INTERFERE..MANY TIMES THEY THINK THEY ARE HELPING..BUT THEY ARE NOT...AND MOST OF ALL TALK ABOUT HIM..HONOR HIM.. REMEMBER HIM OUT LOUD..ITS A RESPECT THAT WILL HELP YOU HEA QUICKER....WE LOST ^^LILLIANA GABRIELLE^^ ON 1/13/05 I COULDNT BURY HER UNTIL 2/6/05 I WASNT READY I WAS IN DENIAL...37 WEEKS? HOW? SHE HAS 4 SISTERS WHO WERE EAGERLY AWAITING HER ARRIVAL THAT I HAD TO ANSWER TO AS WELL. IT WILL GET EASIER BUT NOT FOR A WHILE.WHEN YOU ARE READY YOU WILL TRY AGAIN...I AM NOW 27 WEEKS PREGNANT AND VERY SCARED BUT NOTHING COULD EVER MAKE ME ANY DIFFERENT AS WE LOST HER SO LATE...THERE WAS A POINT THAT HELPED ME AND THAT WAS TO THANK GOD I WAS NOT FARTHER ALONG OR SHE WAS BORN AND LOST A WEEK LATER. eVERYBODYS SITUATION IS HORRIBLE TO THEM BUT I HAD TO REALIZE IT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE.... YOU DAUGHTER NOW HAS A SPECIAL GUARDIAN ANGEL TO WATCH HER EVERY STEP. YOU WILL SEE HIM AGAIN SOMEDAY..HE IS NOT LOST!
BLESS YOU
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i have added you to my msn, i'm here if you to talk. x
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i lost a daughter at 24 weeks gestation.  that was in april of 04, and i am still greiving, but i can live my life again.  time helps a little, and make sure to find support in friends, support groups, this forum, family, whoever is there to help.  talk about George as much as you feel comefortable with.  i also buried my daughter, and going to her resting place brings me comefort.  i take her things on holidays, or just because all the time.  George will always be a part of your life, and your heart.  im terribly sorry for your tragic loss.  life can be cruel sometimes.  i hope your daughter is doing ok.  my older son was quite upset and confused when his sister died, but today, he likes to talk about her in heaven with Jesus.  

im praying for your comefort and strength.
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that is what i need to hear ppls stories and to tell them mine, i think only ppl who have experieced similar can help.  thanks
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I really don't know what to say, or the words to comfort you. I miscarried but very early on in my pregnancy. I can't imagine what I would do if I lost at the time you did. It has to be hard. But mommies are the strongest! :) We can take anything life throws at us. Just know you will see him again one day, he was called with Jesus for a reason, and is being well taken care of until you get there. I know talking does help, never keep feelings bottled up, and I'm glad to see you are talking. You're a strong woman!! I don't know why things happen the way they do, but my saying is "God will never give me more than I can handle" I'm not trying to be religious here ladies, and sorry if that did offend anyone. But I am just telling you what comforts me, and I know that ANYTHING that is thrown my way, good or bad I can handle because it happened for a reason. May God Bless you and your family. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers! :)
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I am so sorry to hear about your loss.  i hope i am not getting to personal, but i am a chronic worrier.  i have had 2 m/c and i am now 26 weeks, but had bleeding in the beginning.  Were the drs able to give a medical reason for such an unfortunate event?  were there any signs prior to this that something was wrong?  my thoughts and prayers are with you.
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i'm so sorry for your loss. not sure if you'll check back to read this or not. On november 11th, i lost my son at 21 weeks exactly. we named him Dylan. we didn't want an autopsy performed b/c he looked so normal. but the pathology report on the placenta was back to my doctor 2 weeks later. i read it earlier b/c i work for the pathology department at the hospital where i lost my son. i had a bleeding episode at 9weeks. i was passing giant clots and the nurses in the emergency room thought i was miscarrying. but i wasn't. a few days before i lost my son there was a little bit of spoting. if i wasn't a hypercondriac and notice every little thing, i would have passed it by. i went to the hospital and they put me on bed rest until i could get a level 2 ultrasound in two days. at the hospital they said my cervix was closed, wasn't having contractions, and his heartbeat was fine. i went through all this with my husband in florida on a business trip. the 10th i went for my ultrasound and i was dialated 2.5 cm. i was transferred to a different hospital where they were going to try to do an emergency cerclage. but i was dialated another cm. they did an amnio to see if there was an infection, and there was. so i had a choice of waiting 3 more weeks, or ending it. i didn't have the choice after the results of the infection came back. finally my husband shows up and i tell him that we were going to have a boy. we were going to make it a surprise. he was so upset and had so many questions. i had to be induced b/c the infection was really bad. at 1:05am on the 11th he was born. 12.6oz. we were able to hold him and have pics of him and his footprints. he was so beautiful and so tiny. i'm still going through some tests, but i was found to have a blood clotting problem. i had a blood clot caught behind the placenta and it tore away from my uterine wall. put me into preterm labor. he was my first son. i still get upset, especially around the end of the week when i would have been "so many weeks along" however, it's been 3 months and i feel a little better. my husband and i are anxious to try again. we have our little angel boy looking over us. it was hard for both of us. still is some days. i joined a support group and this website. my advice is to get all the answers you can from your doctor. ask to see your report and ask questions. it helps a little to know that maybe it was something medically wrong. good luck to you and again, i'm sorry for your loss.
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Hey, I am also very sorry to hear about your loss. It sounds like you're staying really strong, and also trying to conceive again!! I wish you the best luck. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. I wish you another healthy and happy nine months!! Good luck to the both of you! :)
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thank you. we have the same saying in our family, that we aren't given any more than we can handle.
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I also lost a baby at 16 1/2 weeks. This is my first time at this website. I am very sorry for your loss! My situation sounds very similar to yours. I am paranoid and I had bleeding so I was in and out of the hospital weekly. The Doctors would tell me that although the bleeding was not normal, they could find nothing wrong accept a slight infection and the bleeding they were finding was "not active bleeding". They put me on an antibiotic. Less than one week later, I went to the bathroom and large clots started coming out. Not to be gross but I grabbed them, wrapped them and went back to the ER. I told the nurse that this cannot be normal. Again they sent in a Doctor, he did an exam and tried to tell me that it was not "active bleeding and the baby looked fine". I told him I had brought the clots and wanted him to look at them and tell me again that everything was fine.  He didn't want to see them but he did agree to run some more tests. He got out some fancy machine and said "your right, your cervix is thinning". Anyways, to make a long story short, they tried to do an emergency cerclage but my water broke and they had to induce labor. We had tried for years, this was my first son and I was absolutely devestated. They said I had an incompetent cervix but I don't feel confident w/ that diagnosis since everything I read says there are no symptoms to Incompetent cervix and I was having episodes of bleeding for 4 weeks.  It is frustrating when you tell them something is wrong and they can't diagnose or save the pregnancy. Maybe I should say it's devastating. I lost my son in July of 05, it's been nearly 6 months. I have been feeling mentally and physically healthy this month. I started to heal after his due date passed. The week of his due date, was the hardest. I cried for 1 week straight. Hang in there everyone. The memories will never go away but it does get easier. Sorry this is sooo lengthy! Rachel
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Hey there, I am so sorry to hear for your loss. There are a couple of women that have been through the same thing here. I can't believe it's happened as much as it has. It really just amazes me because they basically make you feel like after 12 weeks everything is ok! I will keep you in my prayers along with the rest of these ladies, just know your angel is in a better place and you will see him again. May God Bless You! I hope if you conceive again you will not have to go down that road again! Happy and healthy 9 months to you if it does happpen!

God Bless You!!
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This is the first time visiting this forum..So sorry to hear all the stories. I myself have gone through 2 of them/ Last july 23 I was diagnosed with Ectopic(tubal) pregnancy at 7 weeks and misscarried naturally...Felt so down after that..
Then without expecting fall pregnant again in Oct..23 everything went normal. My 12th week scan on 19th december showed a perfect little baby with healthy hearbeat. Gyno's visit on 19th Jan showed a perfect healthy heartbeat...Then the day came on 10th of Feb for a 19th week scan. Me and my husband went there with lot of expectations and dreams..The person who did the scan told that he has a bad news and can't hear the hearbeat of the baby and imeediately asked us to go to our Gyno. We asked him to re-check the it was confirmed that baby must have dies around 16-17th week. Was too much to take in and was in a state of shock. Within few day I was hospitalised and delivered the baby through induced delivery.
I feel so lost and empty after this happened. Its now exactly 2 weeks now since all this happened. I don't know what to do.. Feel so miserable.....
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I'm not sure yet if reading all these comments makes me feel better or not, but then I'm not really sure how I feel these days.  I lost my boy one week ago today.  I thought I was 20 weeks with no sign of complications.  I went in for my normal visit and the dr. couldn't find a heartbeat, the dr. said the baby probably died at 17 wks.  24 hours of labor and a perfecly normal baby boy 6 1/2 inches and 4 ounces was born.  There were no answers,and I don't know if there ever will be.  I still can't believe it and don't know what to think.  I am so sorry to hear of everyone elses experiences and wish everyone comfort and peace.
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So sorry to hear your story..Sounds very similar to mine. Can understand the pain you are going through. I am still feeling so lost and empty......I am sure god would have better plans for us. That's the only believe that's driving me.
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Our stories do sound  very similiar.  I was just wondering if you are going to try again.  One day I am so sure I want to and the next I am so scared, I can't imagine going through this again.  I can't think of anything I did wrong that I could not do in the next pregnancy to make things go right.  I know it might be too soon to be thinking of these things, but it's hard not to.  I still have to hear the results of the blood tests the dr. took to see if something is wrong with me, wont't know until next Thurs.  Sorry to bring this up if it's something you're not ready to think about yet.
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No..don't feel sorry. Ofcourse I want to try again. But as you mentioned me too feel so scared of going through another pregnancy, feeling the uncertainity. I have also been very careful during this pregnancy and took utmost care. But I guess things are unexplainable...
For me, the tests are being done on the baby and only seeing my gyno on 29th of March. Then only we would know the results and hoepfully some answer. Please do let me know how you go with your test results and will do the same myself.
Please take care


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Thanks.  I too had tests done on the baby, well on the placenta.  But because he looked so perfect, the doctor suggested that tests be done on me too.  He said because it was a second trimester miscarriage, and up to that point everything was so normal, he recomended testing me for anything that would attack the pregnancy.  I won't find out the baby's test results for a few more weeks.  Will let you know.  Thanks for your support, and I hope you feel mine for you.
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First and foremost, I am so sorry for our loss and I know exactly what you're going through. I lost my healthy and beautiful son at 21 weeks on 1/25-1/26/06. His name was Miles. His rate of growth and heart beat were perfect. The hardest thing we had to do was cremate him three days later. This loss occurred due to physician negligence and arrogance. I had an incompentent cervix. Although I voiced this concern along with my predisposion to cervical cancer to the idiot at 8 weeks, he blew me off. These are problems for me because I was exposed to DES through my mother in the late 60s.

To make a long story short, I didn't lose my son...he was murdered by the doctor. Just so you know, this doctor works at one of the best hospitals in northern california.

As for the pain and loss, I am not sure when it gets better. Trying to understand the loss, dealing with the anger at the first steps in recovery. If you live in northern California, I can refer to a support group at California Pacific Medical Center. If not, I can definitely have one of the counselors refer you to a group in your area.

Hope the days get a little easier for you.
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Went to the dr. yesterday to find out results of tests on me.  He didn't find anything that would have attacked the pregnancy.  As he said it's great, yet not so good, news.  Not so good because it would have been nice to be able to "know excatly what happend and be able to correct what was wrong" for the next pregnancy.  But good because I am healthy.  He did say, as you probably know, that there is no increased chance of this happening in future pregnancies just because it happened this time.  That was good to hear.  Still waiting to hear about tests on the baby.  Hope things are going well with you.  I finally feel like life might get back to almost normal.  I miss my boy, but know he is happy and good things are still to come for all of us.  Take care and let me know when you hear something.
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Its good to know that you are ok & healthy. As you said on the other side we always want to know and look for the reason. Your baby boy would be your guardian angel from now and look after you and your family. That's what my husband says and I too hope my baby is happy up there and look after all of us.
I got more than 2 weeks to see my gyno. I would only get the results done my baby by then. Looking forward. I am trying to get back to normal. Started work again and working keeps my day time occupied. The thing is after work when I get into the car, for no where the sorrow comes and hits me and I cry..cry and cry in the car. I have been reading alot on the internet about these miscarriages..Its says that when I embryo is formed, if the chromosomes are not linked perfectly the baby is not destined not to live. Even then the baby would continue to grow uptill a certain week as if its healthy and would eventually die..These sort of things are above us and only god knows..
I am sure God has better plans for all of us...
Will let you know when I get my results..Keep in touch

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Went to the dr. yesterday to find out results of tests on me.  He didn't find anything that would have attacked the pregnancy.  As he said it's great, yet not so good, news.  Not so good because it would have been nice to be able to "know excatly what happend and be able to correct what was wrong" for the next pregnancy.  But good because I am healthy.  He did say, as you probably know, that there is no increased chance of this happening in future pregnancies just because it happened this time.  That was good to hear.  Still waiting to hear about tests on the baby.  Hope things are going well with you.  I finally feel like life might get back to almost normal.  I miss my boy, but know he is happy and good things are still to come for all of us.  Take care and let me know when you hear something.
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Wow, you sound just like me.  I will think, okay, I can do this, but then out of the blue I will just start to cry.  For me it hits hard in the shower and when I am driving in the car.  I too have been reading a lot and asking a lot of questions.  My doctor said almost exactly the same thing about the baby.  He fought as long as he could to live, but things probably just weren't right genetically for him and he couldn't do it anymore.  I know our boys are watching out for us and hopefully having a great time playing with our other little ones waiting to come to us.  Looking forward to hearing your results, best of luck and God bless you and your husband.
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Im so sorry about your lose! I was 18 weeks pg when I lost my baby in November. I went for my first ultrasound and found out no baby had ever developed. My doctor was amazed my body hadnt already had a m/c. I decided not to have a d and c and spent 18 hours in labor because of that. I ended up having to have a d and c anyway because they didnt think my body passed everything. I am now 6 weeks pregnant and I hope it goes better for me this time. I hope everything goes well with you and any furture pregnancies
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I read your story with tears in my eyes i'm so sorry for your loss its heartbreaking. I was 12 weeks pregnant and starting bleeding a miscariage never crossed my mind as I already had a healthy baby girl then a few days after bleeding I was passing clots and feared the worse then 2 days off being 13 weeks I passed a wee baby I was in shock this little baby in my hand had just only died midwife thinks it was a little boy but wasnt a 100 percent sure but I knew right from the start it was a boy its just so heartbreaking I miscarried in November last year I think about it everyday I was due May 27 so that day is creaping up. We are now trying again I;ve just got to keep positive.
I'm so sorry to hear your lose just think your wee baby is safe in heaven now thats what keeps me going.  
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Just wanted to check how you are going..I got my doctors appointment coming wednesday. Feel so nervous.
I was hit very hard with my past memories last weekend(that's when I had my first period after all these) and emotionally this had driven me down...Feeling scared of how I am going to come out of this..Hope I can get back to normal life and move on. Its been so hard.
Will post to you after I see my gyno...
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Good to hear from you.  I have been thinking about your apt. on the 29th.  Hope things go well and I am anxious to hear your news.  It was interesting to hear your comments about your emotions.  I went to the gym a couple of days ago and saw a girl I hadn't seen for a while.  She was obviously pregnant, she told me she was due in July with a boy.  UGG.. this sent me right down I cried almost the whole day.  I'm not angry about her having a baby, just wish I could have said "ME TOO!"  I'm guessing we will have a lot of those days for a long time to come.  I havn't had my period yet.  I have always been very irregular...not easy to get pregnant that way.  Hope you are feeling a little better today.  Good luck on your Dr. apt.  I'll be thinking of you.
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I went to see my gyno today. Complete results done on the baby is not back yet. But he says that if something was wrong they would have contacted him immediately. Now he has asked us both to do blood tests to check various tests. So no answer was available for me today. Have asked us to wait for 3 months before we try again to ensure that all goes right next time.....
I am glad to share my grief with youand others on this forum. lets hope for the best in the coming future. Keep in touch and do let me know about how u are doing
Take care
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Hi there, am new to this but have been getting alot of info from forums the past week. At the present momment I should be 12 weeks pregnant, but after a scan on Tuesday have found out that the baby is not there, i'm having what they call a blighted ovuam, the sac and everything is there a part from the baby, i have only passed a small amount of blood when wiping but nothing else, if nothing passes by next tuesday then I will have to go for d&c. I am 22 have a little boy who is 2 years 5 months, had a miscarriage at 6 weeks last year, when i found out i was pregnant this time in Jan it was great,thought everything was fine, now it's like am having a bad dream, alot of people I know are pregnant i can't bear to see them, i really don't know what to do, am so upset, ive even thought about leaving my work as i can't face people asking me questions, i don't want to speak to my family, won't answer the phone and just can't stop crying, just keep thinking i never drunk, smoked, had coffee, i done nothing, can't understand why.
it does help knowing that other people know how i feel, I am sorry for your loss and hope we can talk. xxx
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Sorry about the "no answers" from the gyno today.  I'm kind of thinking that may be the way things are going to play out with the whole thing - never knowing exactly why that it.  At least that is what I am starting to prepare for.  I hope the tests with you and your husband go well.  I was interested to hear the waiting for three months part.  My gyno said as soon as we are ready it's okay.  Just not sure when that will be.  I sure hope you will have some peace soon, you have sounded quite sad in your last couple of comments.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.  I will let you know when the results from my babys tests come in.  It's always good to share with you.
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I am so sorry to hear about your baby.  Unfortunately, a lot more people than I ever thought, myself included feel your pain.  As you have read in these comments, every feeling seems to be normal at this time.  I still can't believe this has happend to me and my baby.  Not a day goes by where you don't think about it, and EVERYTHING seems to remind you of what happened. BUT... you do have days where it is a little better and you do start to feel like it all might have happened for a reason, whatever that might have been.  As far as seeing people and talking to family, just do what you can.  For the first little while it will be hard to do much of anything, but poeple will understand.  Take care of yourself.  I hope you will have one of the "good days" sometime soon.
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Clara, so sorry to hear about your loss. Totally understand and feel your pain.
I tell nowadays ti myself that everything happens for  a reason and hope something better is waiting out there to happen soon in the future.
Talking and sharing your grief I believe would help you to ease your pain and feelings.
please take care ...
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Just re-read your comment from the other day and noticed something I didn't before.  Your comment about not drinking, smoking etc.  I was the same way, thinking it had to be something that I did to cause my baby's death.  I talked to my gyno. about this and his comment really helped me.  He said that if there was something that moms could do that would surly cause a pregnancy to go so wrong that they wouldn't have to continue it, there would be no need for abortions - women would just do that one thing.  If you're like me, you will still think "oh, maybe it was because I did this".  It is really hard not to, but deep down I think I know that it wasn't anything I did.  Anyway... I've been thinking about you, I know how very hard those first couple of weeks are.  Hope you have found someone to talk to and are feeling a little bit better.
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thankyou very much for your comments, it has helped. Its ture I do think everyday what did I do? A few of My friends are pregnant, they are goning to be finding out what sex there baby is and I can't handle it, don't want to meet up with them for lunch or anything and I feel really bad about it. Hopefully this will go soon, I keep thinking to myself that other people have been through worse and I should really be greatful for My son, which I am, I love him so much, but another baby would complete my life and at the momment it looks like it not going to happen.
Your stories are a lot worse than mine,I am so sorry for your loss, u's are brave and sound like lovely people, I just can't understand why a thing like this would happen to us, I know of a girl who is having her second child, she is 5 months pregnant, she goes out, drinks, smokes, takes drugs, she doesn't care, it makes me angry to think that when her child is born, it will be going in and out of care like her other child. Why give children to these people and give us lots of heart ache. I am not saying that people don't deserve a chance to change but babies are not meant to be born sometimes because there's something wrong, but it always happens to people who don't deserve it.
I hope your feeling better too and i'm sorry for going on and on but sometimes its easier to speak with a stranger. take care lv cl xxx
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I'm very sorry for your loss. I know this is an old post, but I wanted to share some information that may help others.  I just recently lost my daughter at 19 weeks gestational. Throughout the pregnancy I had some unexplained bleeding.  Sometimes the bleeding was so bad even with clots I went to the ER and they found nothing that would have caused the bleeding. The baby was always fine as well as my placenta.  They told me that it was normal for some woman to have bleeding. (I should have never taken that for an answer). The morning I lost my daughter I awoke to contractions and then shortly after my water broke; the rest is history.  In the hospital they ran my blood. A few weeks later It came back that I have a gene mutation called MTHFR. It causes my blood to clot and is probably the reason I lost Sophia. They found a large blood clot behind my placenta.
I have never known that I had this and have two prior children. (I had pre eclampsia with the first and some minor bleeding with the second with high BP towards the end; induced with both).
A MTHFR mutation may go undiagnosed until a woman has experienced several pregnancy losses. Some women with this mutation have trouble conceiving or have early miscarriages.
If anyone experiences bleeding during pregnancy or having difficulty getting pregnant and sustaining a pregnancy, please talk to your doctor about having lab work done to see if you have this OR Factor V Leiden. It is rarely tested for and could make a huge difference. This is all treatable, it just starts with a diagnosis. I'm just hoping to save a baby in memory of my daughter Sophia.
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