missed miscarriage...waiting for it to happen

I am struggling through a missed miscarriage right now. Monday the 26th, I had my first ultrasound.  I should have been 9wks along, but it became apparent that the fetus died at 7 wks.  Got my blood test results yesterday, and my hcg is now falling. I am going to try to have this miscarriage naturally, and am giving it two weeks.  If it has not happened by Nov. 12th, my doctor and I decided to talk surgery.  I am not really having any warning signs. No cramping or spotting.  I don't really know what to expect. I am very emotional about the loss and have taken 2 days off work already. I am nervous about being at work, or far away from home.  I feel like a ticking time bomb!  Has anyone been through this that can give me some advice about muscling my way through this? Any pointers about preparedness for the miscarriage? Even some natural ways to speed the process along. I have heard the medicines make the cramping more severe, and would like to avoid unnecessary drugs if possible.

[AnnieBrooke]

When I miscarried my twins, their hearts had stopped at about 9 weeks 2 days (we were able to pinpoint because I was changing doctors and had two ultrasounds within 4 days) and they did not pass for about three or four more weeks.  I learned the news on about the 7th of December and passed the embryos on January 1.  (The placenta can keep functioning for a while, and until it gives up, the babies do not pass.)  

I had no signs until I began to have bleeding on the 26th of December, i.e.,19 days or so after fetal demise, and passed a couple of clots that I thought indicated something, but really (in retrospect) they were just clots.  The bleeding for the next couple of days was perfectly manageable, not heavy, and did not even feel as crampy as a period.  I did buy some "Depends" in case bleeding should catch me unaware someplace.

Then December 31 in the evening, I noticed a great increase in cramping and the bleeding was nothing until I would stand up, and at that point it would rush down and flood whatever (pad) I was wearing.  After several hours of this, I called Labor & Delivery, just because night was coming on (New Year's Eve, to boot -- just when you want to be going to the hospital!!!) and I needed to know what I should be watching for.  They advised me to go to the ER just to get checked because the possibility of losing too much blood was on their mind.  By then the blood was coming by the cereal bowl full when it came (though only when I would stand up) and it was making me somewhat nervous.  (My husband is useless in an emergency.)

At the ER they took great care of me, and we watched and waited, and I passed a lot of clots, and then at one point I was on the commode with a nurse standing by and she told me my face looked awfully white, and I told her that I had just passed what had to be it, because it felt like an absolutely enormous clot.  We peeked into the commode, it just did look like a big (red) clot.  But I knew by the way they felt coming out, that it was the babies.  She said, "It looks like they got encapsulated."  They were not visible embryos, just red forms.  The nurses were so helpful and supportive, my husband would have had to be mopped off the floor by then.

After that, I got examined and stopped bleeding and went home.  All in all, it took about 12 hours.  Probably in retrospect should have had a D&C, because a tiny piece of placental tissue was retained and caused me to need a D&C to get it, in March.  But I didn't want them to mess with my cervix, especially to take out twins seemed like it would artificially open it to an extent that would not be so great for a subsequent pregnancy.

As the twins passed, I felt dizzy (and had the aforementioned white face) but the cramping was manageable at such an early stage, and since it was two who came out together, my experience of cramping is likely to be worse than yours will be.

Good luck, I thought the natural way was better, was not pleased at the idea of going in with a surgical procedure if my body would take care of things.

FYI, you can have the embryo cremated, and give it a more ceremonial good-bye if you want.   I did and it made me feel like I had not left my babies to be sent off to the unknown.  We sprinkled them in the daffodil patch in the spring.  I suppose it sounds strange, but it really did make me feel like I took care of them all the way.

[cricketsh]

Thanks for you response, it doesn't sound like fun...but it helps to hear from people who have been through it.  I am still going to try to do this on my own, the natural way but I am glad to hear that the ER was such a good resource for you and that the nurses were so helpful.  How was your recovery with the D&C?

[AnnieBrooke]

Recovery from the D&C was one or two days.  It was a really, really small piece of tissue that they took out, maybe recovery from a D&C to remove the embryos would have taken longer.  I had a couple of polyps removed by D&C before and it was similarly no big deal.

[natter492]

For anyone else wondering how long it can take to wait for a natural conclusion to a missed miscarriage, I've been waiting for months. DIscovered baby's heart was no longer beating at 14 weeks (he/she probably passed away at around 7 weeks going by gestational size). I'm now at my 21st week, and subsequent scans have shown no changes. I've had no cramping or bleeding either, at possibly 14 weeks after our baby passed away. Just wanted to let people know that it can take much longer than a couple of days, so do be prepared for this. But it has given much needed time to comes to terms with the emotional loss. We've named our baby and had many conversations about them. We've planned the burial, prepared everything, I've even sewed a tiny teddy-bear from a print on what would have been their baby-wrap. Hang on in there, get lots of advice and support, try to ignore those igorant comments that might upset you, embrace those people who can help, listen and understand and be good to yourself and your partner. It's a rough time, and so terribly sad, but you do come out feeling so much wiser and in many ways stronger for having seen it through. Lots and lots of love to you if you are reading this forum and have these same comments. It's a lonely time, but you're never alone xx