need help

[poppedgirl]

hello
I am 38 weeks pregnant.  My doctor told me that if I didn't stop smoking my child had nearly 100 percent chance of respiratory problems in the future.  he said he has lots of data to back that up!  he also said that If I choose to breastfeed (which I do) and I smoke the baby can have several problems from that.  He sais there is proof that the nicotin stays in your system and the baby actually becomes addicted to it.  He is having a social worker come out tomorrow - but I am really concerned that they will report me to the authorities!  anyone have a real quick fix  to stop smoking?

[waterskigirl]

Everytime you want to smoke, get an icecube or a candy or a lollipop and stick it in your mouth.  Or go for a walk. Chew gum, throw out all the lighters and cigarettes, not in the trash at your house either at a dumpster or public trash can you wouldn't even dare go through because it is too disgusting!! Make your partner do the same thing!!!! If one continues to smoke, the other one will start back up!

You won't beable to smoke in the hospital when you deliver so that will give you at least 48 hours to break the habit but you need to start now!!  Plus you will be WAY to busy to smoke once the baby comes!

I have a child with Reactive Airway Disease (I did not smoke while pregant but have smoked on and off for years) and let me tell you it is heartbreaking to have them in the hospital connected to a nebulizer struggling to breath!

I wish you luck!

[clinique_diva]

they cant report you for smoking. it's your choice, yes it's best to quit, throw out all your smokes,and try to keep yourself busy.it's hard i know.why on earth would he be sending social services, unless he thinks it's a little more than smoking cigarettes?

[chysmom]

Huh that is strange, my brothers gf was told she could smoke 2 lights a day when she was pg.  And a friend of mine was told she could smoke 2 cigs a day and it wouldnt harm the baby.  I dont smoke myself so I cant too help you but if you do wanna quit now is a great time to.

[gonza]

Why dont you take the doctor's advice and quit?  It shouldnt be a question of IF you should.  When you decide to have a baby, you give up all selfishness.  The baby's life is priority and smoking harms the baby.  That is it.  QUIT.

[meikman]

They can and will report you for smoking and not only that but if you have your baby around smokers.  It sounds as if your Dr. is trying to scare you.  My son who is now 13 years old spent the first 2 years of his life sick.  During one Dr. visit the Dr ask if I smoked and I didn't I had already quit but I lived with my parents at the time which my dad smoked.  The Dr. said that if I didn't move out that he would have my son taken away from me.  I said that I couldn't move out at that time I just didn't have the means and that he couldn't take my son away because my dad smoked.  He said that he could because I was endangering him because I kept him around a situation that I knew was keeping him sick.  

I would think that he couldn't threaten you until he knew that it was defenite that the smoke was making your child sick.

I can tell you that smoke is such an irritant and not just cigs.  If someone was burning trash or leaves and my son came in contact with just the smell of it he would end up in the hospital.

[blondie72]

I agree that smoking is a HORRIBLE habit, however, both my parents smoked and my mom DID smoke while pg with me and my sisters and none of us have resp. problems.  I do agree though that you SHOULD quit.  I feel everyone who smokes should quit if you are pg or not.  It is really NOT good for you.  We have neighbors that smoke and my DD goes over there to play and comes home with red, watery eyes and sounds like she is hacking up a lung.  I have a niece who just got tubes in her ears a few months ago because she is always sick with ear infections and resp problems and she is around A LOT of ciggy smoke.  Good Luck I hope you make the right decision.  I just feel that some kids are more affected by it than others.   Maybe yours won't be but really do try to quit for them if you can.

[waterskigirl]

I went into a gas station the other day to use the ATM and after 2 minutes in there I had to leave because I thought I was going to puke, the smoke was like a haze in there.  I think even if I wasn't pregnant I would have still gotten sick and I used to smoke!  I had to change clothes when I got home too, it stuck to them that fast!

[Jaysienna Laelyne]

i totally know what you are going thru. i have smoked throughout 3 of my 4 pregnancies. about one pack a day. with my oldest, i did not smoke and he has athsma. with my middle child i smoked the heaviest and he is the most healthiest child in the world. with my 2 year old i smoked as well and he developed RSV at 3 weeks old. now he has grown out of it. i am currently in my 4th pg and i am still smoking. i hate myself for it, i consider myself a selfish bi*%h. quitting is best, but like me, if you can't, please cut down.



sienna

[cutiemama]

With regard to being reported, I believe that as long as cigs are legal, the authorities can't do a damn thing about it. However, I am speaking as a layperson and have no legal background to say forsure.

I would say that one should definitely try to cut down if you can't quit. The thing is that our children are not asking to be brought into this world. We are bringing them here and it is our responsability as parents to give them the best lives that we can. If you're going to smoke, refrain from smoking in the house and smoking in front of your kids. It's not fair to our innocent children- to be afflicted with health problems because their parents can't excercise willpower in front of their kids. I am speaking here as a smoker not someone whose anti-smoking.  I am practicing what I preach and I wouldn't dream of ever exposing my children to second hand smoke- they deserve the best start in life.

[Aruba417]

I am not a smoker, so I don't know how hard it would be to quit, but whatever you do, please please try your hardest for your baby's sake! My mother-in-law smoked through most of her pregnancy with my husband, and when the doctor noticed that he had stopped growing in the womb, it scared her enough to quit. Unfortunately, it was already too late. He was born pre-mature, and at 2 years old he was hospitalized with a collapsed lung. He spent most of his childhood taking steroids because of his lung issues. He spent a lot of time in the hospital. He was treated for asthma up until 2 years ago when he almost died from another bout of pnemonia (pneumonia). The doctors finally found that he didn't have asthma, his lungs were just abnormally small, and that's why he had so many breathing problems. He's had so many health problems I've lost count. His immune system is so, so low. He is 26 years old and has the lung capacity of an old man. Please, for your baby's sake, stop smoking. My husband knows that it is his mother's fault that he's had so many issues. He doesn't resent her for it, but she lives with that guilt everyday. Fortunately, she hasn't smoked one cigarette since the day the doctor told her to quit 26 years ago, and her other 2 children are completely healthy. Good luck!

[mejoje]

My sister (9 years ago) and my SIL (1 year ago) were told that if they quit they would put the baby in harm due to the fact that the baby will go into with drawl. Also the two of them had differant doctors so it probably depends on the doctors personal opinion on the subject. Good luck

[blackfyre3]

I started smoking when I was 16 and quit when I was 25 and found out that I was pg with my first  3 months along.  Luckily at that time I was strong enough to quit cold turkey and I was only smoking under stress and socially 2x/day. Never went back but thought about it from time to time. But I dont miss the smelly, smokey clothes and bad smokey breath.  I wish you well and hope you make the best decision for you and your baby.

[prettygirl626]

I thinks it's horrible to even consider lighting up when you are pregnant.  Here I am TTC (for a year adn 2 miscarriages) and am longing for a baby so badly and people who smoke are hurting theirs.  It just pains me to hear that.  Not that I don't think you won't be a good mom  or that you don't love your child.  I think it's just selfish.  I would do anything you could to stop smoking ASAP!

[Still_AndiJ]

I think your doctor was trying to scare you. If you live in the U.S., I KNOW they cannot take your child away if all you do is smoke cigarettes. Now, if you leave them down and your child gets ahold of them, you may have a problem. But the act of smoking is not enough to get your baby taken away.

The withdrawal symptoms for nicotine are not fatal (not even close) so the concern over harmful withdrawal effects is also a scare tactic. If you were a heroine addict, that wwould be far different.

Obviously, it is best of you can quit smoking, if you can't quit completely, at least cut back.

Andi

[poppedgirl]

thanks for all of your opinions
the social worker called me today.  And she said she has documented proof of the harmful effects - she will show me and I have to sign I received them.

She also told me that a woman just lost her baby last week cause of her choice of husband

she told me they will give me a warning then after that it is up to me.  SHe  told me that they have full authority in this area.  I see her on Friday - so I am very looking forward to seeing her proof.  The visit is mandated by the government.

[IWantToBeAMom]

Oh my!  Are you in the U.S.?  What state??

[poppedgirl]

I am not sure if we live in the same state - but in MY state the social worker said she has full authority to remove the baby from my custody if I smoke and brestfeed.  She is bringing me all of the papers.  She also said she has documented proof of permanent damage if you smoke and breastfeed then the baby doesn't get the nicotine anymore after that because you stop breastfeedng.  I will definitely tell you all about the papers becuse it sounds like you might be really surprised!

[IWantToBeAMom]

What state are you in?

[gonza]

They are trying to scare you if they are indeed telling you they will be able to remove your child because of you (or any member of they household) smoke.  If children were removed from their parents/guardians because they smoked, our foster care system would be overran with children.  I am speaking of the US, I believe state is irrelevant.

[ateague]

I completely agree with gonza, there is no way they can take your baby away from you.  I knew a lady that had gone to court because she was caught smoking marijuana in her car with her baby in the back seat, (and this was not her first offense) and they did nothing to take her child from her.  They just had a hard time passing a law that prohibits smoking in a car with your windows rolled up if there are children present.  Next, they'll be taking children away if they catch you drinking caffinated tea while you're pregnant!  It doesn't make sense to me and I'd talk to a lawyer about it.  It's a matter of free will.  Don't get me wrong, I don't think you should be smoking while preg., but it's your decision and your baby.  The government does not have the right to intervene on a matter like this.

[Still_AndiJ]

I find that interesting, considering that former smokers are able to quit and within a certain period of time are able to return their vital organs to the state of a non-smoker. I find the argument bogus at best, it is a scare tactic.

Again, what state are you in? I will do the research myself if you let me know.

Andi

[springbabyonway]

i bet shes in nebraska  i just googled and it brought me to a nebraska site which says smoking can be child abuse - "It is doctors', nurses', teachers', and everyone's duty, and requirement, according to Nebraska state law, to report people who smoke around children if their health is made worse when exposed to secondhand smoke. This is considered child abuse or neglect under our state law."taken from http://www.gaspnebr.org/
-however- they are saying they wont take reports about healthy children only ones who are sick and getting worse.
lets see......ok i tried to get cps and each state has their own so it does matter which state your in it looks like

[Christie2004]

This is a bogus post.

I'm a labor and delivery nurse, and have been for almost 28 years now.  I've worked in many different states across the U.S.

Smoking is NOT ILLEGAL.  No one can take your baby away from you if you smoke and breastfeed.  It is as simple as that.  I have taken care of countless women over all those years, many many of whom smoke during pregnancy and while breastfeeding.  We do counsel them on quitting, offering help and advice.  If they are not amenable to quitting, they are advised to smoke outside the house, and never to smoke while actually breastfeeding.  

But taking away the babies of smokers?  The foster care system can hardly handle all the meth, heroin, and crack babies floating around out there.  They have other things to worry about.  If this is a real post, they are warning you due to something else entirely, and you are fixating on the smoking part (maybe they mentioned smoking too, but trust me--smoking isn't the big problem).

Someone the other day commented that people who smoked during pregnancy/breastfeeding should be put in jail.  Brilliant!  Perhaps they can let some drug dealers go free to make room for all the smokers in the U.S to be incarcerated.  

Smoking is legal in the U.S.  I don't smoke, but I will support the rights of the people who do until we no longer live in a free country.  

If they do take away your baby just because you smoke and breastfeed--you will have it made.  Get a nice law firm to sue the **** out of the DSS and you'll be on the Today show within the week.  The book deal will come later.  

Give me a break.  Go post this somewhere else.  There was an link to a private chat-type forum posted under yesterdays open forum.  Look it up.  They are a very supportive group who have a lot of knowledge in this area of child development, potty training, smoking, breastfeeding, and bottlefeeding.  Many have advanced degrees in various fields.  They will be sure to help you.  If you can't find the link, post back and I'll break the rules and post it for you so that you can find them.

[shubunkin2974]

not that i agree with smoking while pregnant or breastfeeding but i think that is crazy. there are far more drastic issues out there to take babies from mothers for other than smoking.

[shedevil31]

Never heard of that before where do you live?

[poppedgirl]

well
I am sorry I came here for support
christie obviously you aren't there to help people
thanks for nothing ladies.  If you want to accuse me of things other than smoking cigarettes - you are way way way off base!  I was hoping for advice from smoking moms who quit - not advice about anything else!  
I am in nebraska  (outside of Omaha) and searched for hours for soemwhere to get advice.  I am glad I didn't give too much personal information
I thought this site was a good idea
If you want to call me names and accuse me of other things I am not admitting to - you are wrong and I don't want to be here!  
I thank the one of you who offered help with suckers etc
the rest of you I hope you don't treat every newcomer this way!

[gonza]

It is a very helpful, fun forum where anything can be discussed.  You will have to look back to the old post to get the link because I do not feel right breaking the rules on this public forum, and posting a website/link is breaking the rules unless I have written permission.  I hate you feel you have been mistreated here.  I thought most responds were helpful.  I am sure others (just like I was) were shocked of your situation.  Once again, most people here are just great, real peaches, try not to give up just yet.  Good luck.

[NEYLIA]

I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ARE UPSET WITH ANYONE BUT YOURSELF..STOP LOOKING FOR EXCUSES AND PEOPLE TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT SMOKING WHILE YOUR PREGNANT AND QUIT. WHAT DR DO YOU KNOW THAT OACTUALLY SAYS DO IT WITHOUT HESITATION..THEY MAY SAY CUT DOWN BUT I MEAN CMON WHEN THE BABY IS BORN WOULD YOU PUT HIM/HERS MOUTH TO THE EXHAUST PIPE OF YOUR CAR ..OF COURSE NOT.BUT YOUR DOING THE SAME THING TO HIM/HER BY SMOKING AND BEING PREGNANT!AND NOBODY WHO SMOKED DURING THEIR PREGNANCY CAN TELL YOU THEIR KIDS ARE FINE BECAUSE PROBLEMS CAN ARISE LATER ON IN LIFE! I DONT JUDGE YOU AT ALL I AM SURE YOU ARE A GREAT PERSON YOUR JUST MAKING A BAD DECISION..DO THE RIGHT THING BY YOUR CHILD...QUIT!

FROM AN X-SMOKER

[mgi]

I have a few things.
1.  I am sorry you were disappointed here - I hope you come back and read the comments cause I am gonna try to find info for you
I am also sorry I can offer NO advice on how to quit!

2.  I am sorry some people offended you - there are people here who are offended by the fact that Ihave a master's in Biochemistry and a PhD.  I don't know all the answers just cause of my degree.  but this quarter I am teaching a class in the Biochem dept at our university.  I will ask a couple of researchers what I know and get back with you on the baby getting addicted.  Hoepfully you'll stay a member and see the info if I get it (I am preggo and due any day so no guarantees)

3. I am (or was till I got pg)  a foster parent.  I know all states are different.  But in Ohio - the social workers bend over backward for the maternal parents.  SO I really hope that this lady will help you.  MAybe she has ideas of what you can do.  With all my kids they had to visit their moms and their moms had to do tons but the social workers helped every step of the way.  Again I know states are different - but instead of being scared of her look to her as a resource!  I really wish you the best there.

4.  You may not want to hear this BUT. This is a public forum. I personally think the purpose is to ask other people's opinions.  If you don't want to hear their OPINIONS  then you shouldn't ask.  It doesn't seem like there is much point going to a public opinion forum if all you want to hear from is people who agree with you.  i am sorry if I offend you but I jsut feek we should be allowed to give our opinions here!

best of luck

[Christie2004]

They can't take away your baby for smoking and breastfeeding.  Period.

Funny how it wasn't until someone else mentioned Nebraska that you said you were from Nebraska.  Smoking while breastfeeding is not desirable, people are counseled to quit, but ultimately...even in Nebraska (which is still part of the United States last time I checked) they cannot take your child away if you state a desire to breastfeed and you are a smoker. Smoking is a legal activity.  Yes, there can be detrimental side effects in some cases.  But the baby can't be taken away from you.

Springbaby's quote was that "IF a childs health is made worse by being constantly exposed to secondhand smoke" being child abuse may be true.  But did you notice that it said IF THE CHILDS HEALTH IS MADE WORSE?  They can't pre-emptively take your child away.  Period.

Maybe you will be the novel test case!  In that case, as I said--you don't have a thing to worry about as the lawyers will be beating down your doors to take up for you.  Violation of your civil rights and all.  

Let me know if you want that website.

[Aruba417]

Wow...I'm sorry if my inspirational story offended you.

[Christie2004]

Cindy said that if the website was not promoting for profit, we were ok to post it if you will recall when I posted that peeonastick site.  

And we all get it about the peaches thing.  Moles like peaches, don't they?

[gonza]

OK, cool about the website thing.  I dont know if moles like peaches or not, I was simply saying it because someone called another poster a "peach" the other day and I thought it was funny so I wanted to use it to purely for humor.

[shedevil31]

No we have had moles visit our place,since  and moles dont eat peaches they like to feed on insects in the ground like bugs,worms etc...but fruit bats like to eat peaches.


Popped girl- I wish you luck trying to quit.

[married_newfie_mommy]

I know that here in Canada it is illegal to smoke in public...I am not sure about homes though..I don't think so...Here in Newfoundland it is illegal to smoke in bars, bingo halls, restaurants and up to 50 meters from a public buildings doors...I hope that you can quit for your babies sake but I don't think that they can take your baby away if you don't...

[penny13]

Acctually here in canada it is indeed illegal to smoke in public places, but you are free to smoke in your own home if you please. I smoked 7 years ago and know how hard it is to stop, but i think you child would be a big insentive. You can do it. Good luck, and yes if you need help we  will be here for you:)

[Countrymama]

i'm sorrythat you got discouraged so soon. alot of people here are quick to judge. and yes ,ANDI, i know i have done it myself, but i made my apologies for that.
anyway...i was a smoker, but when i was pregnant with my son, it was no problem to quit. i never started back up. one or two on occcassion with a drink, but that was it.
my mother smoked with me, and fortunately i came out healthy.
a friend of mine smoke with both of her kids, and her 2 yr. old son has chronic ashtma and allergies. her daughter was born in october, and so far they have had no problems, but only time will tell.
as for taking your baby away, i have no idea. it could very possibly be a scare tactic. but you may want to call you loal child protective services office and ask just to be safe. good luck with quitting. and if you can't quit, i would strongly suggest NOT breastfeeding and NOT smoking anywhere near your baby.
i wish you the very best.

[waterskigirl]

Countrymama made a good point.  If for some reason you can't quit smoking, you should probably go ahead and just bottle feed to be on the safe side.  I think the risk of passing nicotine through breast milk would outweigh the benefits of breast feeding.

[Still_AndiJ]

Okay, I stayed out of it long enough. Do what YOU think is best. You can still nurse, just make sure you nurse AFTER your nursing session and wait at least an hour before nursing again. Wash your hands, keep your hair up, wear a "smoking jacket" and brush your teeth when you come back in.

If you want to nurse, do so with these things in mind. In the beginning, you won't be able to smoke (my kids never went an hour between feedings, so I didn't smoke much until after they were much older) The amount left in breastmilk after an hour is negligible.

Andi

[married_newfie_mommy]

well put