not a question just an update on my situation!

hi all.

i posted on here a few days ago as i wasn't sure whether or not to try for a 4th baby with my dh. dh was happy to go along with thatever i decided.
i sat and made a list of reasons for and against having another baby as my heart has been ruling my head on the matter. the list showed me that i want a baby for the short time it would be a baby but not another child.
my dh agreed the list of points was basically telling him the same too, so the decision was made that we won't be trying again. i did get a little upset, but feel more positive now as i'm not in limbo anymore and can look forward to the future now and doing things with the 3 great kids i already have. it also means i will be able to start my midwifery training once my youngest has been at school a year or so. i do still look at babies and think how sweet, but my time of sleepless nights and being covered in baby sick are over!

[AnnieBrooke]

Honey, that sounds right, especially about not being in limbo any more.  I've read that when people get to this point and start passing along the high chair, crib, etc. to others, it is not as sad or poignant as one would expect, because it means they are not "on hold" in that way any more, and are free to devote their energy elsewhere.  Somehow it reminds me of "binding off," in knitting.  You've knitted and knitted, and then you get to the last row where you do the stitch to make a finished edge.  It's not a sad row because the knitting is over, it's a happy row because you feel like you've done a good job and now you get to do something else.  With three children, there is plenty of stuff for you to do!!!   Anyone can make a baby, it takes a really special person to raise a child well to age 18 or 21 or beyond.

You'll also certainly get plenty of baby exposure in your new role as a midwife.  (My sister is thinking of taking doula training for this reason.  She has zero yearning for another child to raise, but loves babies.)  

Now that I've compared your important life decision to knitting, I'd better sign off before I say anything else asinine!  Congrats on a hard decision well thought out.

Annie

[snagglepuss1]

thanks Annie, i definitely didn't feel as sad as i thought i would about saying this is it & you are right about any one can make a baby, but raising a well balanced child to adulthood is the real task. i just want the best for the 3 i have, but will enjoy the experience of holding newborns as a midwife albeit for a short time, before their parents deal with the sleepless nights etc!