off subject - they set childsupport

so i went to the meeting today and based on what i make and what ryan's dad makes they set the support at $976.00 a month - they use a formula that makes it fair to the both of us.  his income is $4900 a month compare to my 3466 a month.  so we go to court on June 24th.  he is going to be so so mad.  i haven't told him and think maybe i shouldn't i tried to work it out with him but he only wants to pay his little 350 not even near half of what ryan costs.  so should i tell him.  i can't feel sorry for this man.  i take care of ryan and he suffers because craig doesn't want to do his part.  the amount may go down a little but i am happy over all and want him to see how they made it fair.

[AHP84]

Hey, cool! Your court date is the same as mine for the same issue! We'll have to keep in touch that day with text messages! :-D

[Cheyenne_08]

Wow....you must live in a good state. My sister gets 20 bucks a week, and her daughter's father is a corrections officer!!!! So, he makes really good money! Also, child support never covers near what the child costs, so you must be one of the few lucky ones.

[AHP84]

Also, don't bother telling him--he'll find out in a within the week, I'm sure. They'll send him a letter in the mail telling him when the court date is set and he'll be served to make sure that he knows when it is and he should show up if he cares.
If he's mad then so what. He'll have to get over it. Make sure you keep all personal contact with him extremely limited for a while, if not eliminated. Is he capable of being violent? If so, then make sure you prepare yourself to get a restraining order as soon as he starts making threats, and keep a record of all contact you have with him for the courts.

[kris123]

i live in VA in northern va my rent is 900 and daycare is 649 and i am lucky for that.  so it is so expensive to live where i live

[fungirl1011]

I am so glad that things went your way.  I would let him find out through the courts.  Are they going to take the payments out of his check?  That is the best way to do it.  I agree with Cheyenne, you must live in a wonderful state.  I get 400.00 a month for my 13 year old son and that just started this year.  I am glad that you are able to get what you son deserves.  It is about time that the non-custodial parents do thier share.  My step son's mom does not pay ANY child support and does very little to help with him (He is 12 and has lived with us since he was 5).  She is a dead beat mom as far as I am concerned.  IT is really sad when he tells me I am the best mom he has.  I love him so much.  Good luck at court.  Please keep us posted.  Also, good luck to you too AJH84

Hugs,
Kasie

[Kim1989]

damn how come everyones got their court dates already. im still waiting on the dna test to come back! its been over a month and they told me 2 weeks!

i dont even know how much hes gonan have to pay he keeps saying he doesnt make anything hardly, plus hes in debt.

i think that courts should make fathers who went mia during the pregnancy to have to pay half of what it took to get ready for a child. i really do. diapers, clothes, furniture, everything else.

[AHP84]

I've waited 11 months for this court date. It takes the state forever to get to these cases.

[Kim1989]

your kidding!!?!?!!??!?!? im just wondering why the results havent come in yet. i had to take  it april 24 and they told me two weeks.

[AHP84]

Yeah, first they told me about two months, then it was another few months, then my case received a continuance twice (one in Jan and another in Mar) because my ex moved out of state and they "couldn't find him" to serve him, even though I gave the social workers his address and his parents' address and his school location etc, etc. When you have to go through the state for child support issues, I learned the hard way that you can't expect anything to get done in a timely manner.

[kris123]

it is funny he always say how he is going to live but yet i have little left over for food and rent.  they want what they want.

[AHP84]

Oh, and don't be surprised when the case workers make mistakes in your file or your case. It happened to me about three times, and if I wasn't on top of everything, I'm sure I'd still be waiting for a court date to be set or my case would've been dropped.

[Kim1989]

grr!!! that sucks. did you kno he actually sat there on mothers day and told me that he missed me and that if dominics his he wants us to move onto base with him because if dominics his he deserves a father and a family! ha then a few days later he started yelling at me, becuase i guess he got angry outta the blue for having to be forced to help support him.

[kris123]

ryan's dad is hot and cold too - i hate it.  it drives me crazy.  i get 400 for my 12 year old but her dad is ALWAYS behind

[kris123]

my county's court is really good.  hope it goes my way and at the least if they change it i would take 800

[Kim1989]

Yeah i dont understand why they do that. its like MAKE UP YOUR MIND! you kno i havent heard of a guy yet who isnt behing on child support. im glad you two are getting  to go to court.  i kno my day will come....but i dont see it anywhere.

how did you all get your results. if you had to do that in order to get support.  the lady who gave me the test said they come via mail. but the his father said that he thought the results would go back to the court, and then they would order us to go back to court and then they would tell us there

[Cheyenne_08]

Mike has a daughter and he pays 135 a week. So it around 500  a month....but Kim, he has never once missed a payment. There are good guys out there hat get stuck in crappy situations! But either way, in Michgan DNA tests take 30 days to come back and take into considertatin that the agency might be really busy, so is there any way you could call??? When Mike had his DNA test done, he called after two weeks, and was told the results over the phone....however no paperwork showed up in court or at the Child Support Enforcement Agency for another 3 weeks!!!!

[AHP84]

Yeah, you really have to follow your case diligently by phone or email with your case worker or the DHR. Many times, you don't know what's going on and you don't get mail they supposedly sent. It's crazy. You have to keep on top of it or they WILL make mistakes, as they have with my case like three times now.
I never had to do a DNA test--what's kinda out of the ordinary is that my son's father petitioned the courts for paternity. I never denied he was Trev's father of course. So he was the one who voluntarily put himself in our son's legal life as far as visitation and child support.
He's been late on many payments but has never missed a payment. But for the last 3 years, he's only paid $147/month, and he's complained and griped about it SOOO much; how he can barely make ends meet and how it's not fair that I "take his money." And this and that and other excuses.
I think with this court date, he's going to end up with a monthly payment of $400/month minimum, but child support calculators that I've played around with online come up in a range of $400-630/month.

[kris123]

OMG i just told him and he called me an F__cking A--hole and that I will pay. he said he is not going to court and what about his two other kids that don't live with him and he doesn't pay support for. his ex makes about 80000 a year.  i told him ryan is more important then his other two kids and he is to me.  i am scared a little of him and now he wants to give 500 but

[AHP84]

If he doesn't pay cs for his other kids, then that's really his ex's decision for not pursuing it. Not necessarily that Ryan is more important than his other kids.
But you have gone after him, and there's no shame in that. None at all. He shouldn't be able to get away with not being held accountable for his offspring--maybe now he'll think twice before impregnating some other poor woman in the future.
Since he's told you "you'll pay," that's a threat. Start documenting and recording all contact from him and prepare to get a restraining order if you need to. Don't hesitate to get one if you know you need one. You shouldn't have to live in fear of this man.

[Kim1989]

ive called the lady at least 3 times a day for the past week and she doesnt answer or call me back!

AJH84- yeah they complaine like they dont need to support their children right now becuase they cant pay the bills they have right now. keith yells all the time and says "im robbing him blind" "im in so much debt. i have bill i need to pay" and its not like hes even paying child support right now!

I CANT BELEIVE HE THREATEND YOU! actually i can because guys seem to get nasty when it comes to child support like your the animal! i would get one if i were you!

[kris123]

yea and we don't pay bills, we support them, take off work, pay the exta dr bills, we miss pay.  they will never understand because they don't take care of them.  the state set what is fair and that is that.  i could care less what he thinks, my son deserves to have food, a home ect..