okay i am pregnant and my husband is not ready

my husband is not ready for a baby and hes changed his mind a few times but we had gotten into another arguement because of someone he knows and now he dont want it again but said the next one we can keep i was wondering if anyone knew how to have a miscarriage because i dont want to lose him and if i have it i will lose him and end up living on the base and working and having to put the baby and my other kids in daycare while i work so can someone please help me out with this big circumstances that i have going on thank you

[fungirl1011]

I would say ditch the idoit husband.  I can't believe that you would put a post like that on here when there are women who would give anything to have a child.  I would say that you husband needs to GROW UP!!!

[brianswife133]

i dont want to  he wants a family but our truck is ****** up we have had agruements off and on and the latest one was on the 7 of this month and i just want to have a happy family but i want to be with him at the same time and know that this child could have some hard core issues is going to be hard when i have to go back overseas after i have it and my husband is bipolar do you know how hard it is with someone who is bipolar that dont take meds at all

[fungirl1011]

I have no clue how hard that is, but if he was not positive that he wanted a child, he should have wore protection.  I understand that you want a happy family, but the BABY is now a part of that family.  I would say at least consider adoption.  This baby did not ask for this to happen.  Good luck to you and your family

[Hope2OneDay]

Sounds to me like you both need meds. First, I think anyone who stays with someone who is bipolar (and KNOWS it) and deliberately doesn't take meds for it, is asking for trouble.
Second, I would be more concerned about an innocent baby than a man who obviously doesn't care about you. If the did, he wouldn't give you an ultimatum like this. The baby or HIM? Sorry, but I'd pick the baby.
Even if you don't KEEP the baby, put it up for adoption. That way you can still keep your lovable man, he doesn't have to take responsibility for his actions AND you can help someone who would do anything to have a child.

Honestly, I think anyone who would TRY to miscarry a child on purpose must be very self centered. You aren't thinking about anyone but yourself and your relationship with a man who needs mental help for requesting that you don't have this baby "just because he isn't ready". Too bad...if he wasn't ready, he should have used protection. And you should have been on the pill. And don't give me that "I was one of the 1% who got pregnant on the pill" line. He could have used a condom and that would have helped prevent the inevitable, too.
Anyone who doesn't want a baby should do everything in their power to prevent it.

And for him to pick and choose "oh, we'll keep the next one" like it's a puppy that you decided after a few days that you didn't want and figure you'll take it back to the pet store. Life isn't like that. Not when it comes to babies.

For all you know, there may not be a next time. And by the sounds of it, it may be for the best.

Sorry if this sounds crude, but when you post something ridiculous like this, you have to expect answers that you don't like.

[Hope2OneDay]

Oh...one more thing.Since he said "the next one you can keep"...what if you were to get pregnant two months from now? Would that be long enough of a wait for him? Just curious as to "how long is long enough" before he'll actually let you "keep the next one"?

[carrie78]

i really cant believe what im reading...ARE YOU SERIOUS???  I cant believe people get pregnant and then decide hmmmm i dont want to have a baby(especially a married couple)USE PROTECTION

[casandbaby]

I agree 100 percent with everyone's comments, you both should of used protection especially knowing he is bipolar and not taking meds. For you to call your unborn baby "it" it seems like you could care less and the baby deserves so much more than that! You should consider adoption, the baby is innocent and for you to even considering causing a miscarriage is murder in my book!

[marsxp]

this is the wrong forum to post your question. you dont know how many women here are dying to have a baby, and i;m one of them. i am disgusted that you are choosing to kill an innocent child just so you can have a happy family. if you want this baby to grow up with no hard core issues, you have to either shove some bipolar pills down his throat or pack your bags and leave. killing an innocent child should never be your only option. you do the deed, you take responsibility for it. not throw it away and keep the next one.

[pugroxie]

to all...MOSTLY TO brianswife133.  you call yourself Brian's wife.  you should rearrange his name and call yourself brainless wife. i have been trying 2.5 yrs to conceive with my husband and to see this posting from you, it makes me want to throw up.  i agreed with everyone else you both need meds.  how could you even consider murdering your unborn child.  the baby deserve to live, he/she DID NOT ask to be born.  you two decided to be childish and got pregnant.  you might think this reply is crazy.  i am fieriest.  *&%* YEAH.  DON'T YOU EVEN POST ANYTHING LIKE THIS AGAIN.  YOU ARE HURTING THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE WHO ARE TRYING AND WILL GIVE ANYTHING TO HAVE A BABY

[peekawho]

Neither one of you is ready to be parents.  At all.  

[April2]

OMG, I can't believe this. I agree with above poster. This isn't a puppy that you can take back! How can you and your husband be so casual about this?! He keeps changing his mind? Oh, today he wants it but tomorrow he doesn't? This appears to be a game to him! Next one we can keep? What is this, Russian Rulette? And what if he changed his mind that time?! This is a helpless, innocent child! Not something you can change your mind about and take back to the store! The deed is done. You are pregnant now. The time for deciding should have been before you conceived. If you all really wanted to wait you would have been more careful to ensure that there'd be no pregnancy at this time. This is not the time to change your mind!
Your husband needs to grow up big time! He has a family and responsibilities now. He's acting like a teenager.
Did you say base? I'm assuming then that he's military? I'd think that would have made him grow up. If it's true that he's military then he's got free health insurance and a steady paycheck. Yeah, it might be a little harder. Money might be a bit tighter but deal with it! Make adjustments to make it work. Others in worse positions than you all made it work. This isn't a plaything that you all can play with and then put down when you're tired of it. So what if you have to live on base and put the child in daycare? You wouldn't be the first. Is there some reason you can't work? And what's wrong with living on base? My husband was military for 22 years and we lived on base for most of that time. It really helps with living costs. Are you too proud to live on base? I actually liked living on base. I felt a little safer since most have guards and check ID's going in and out.
Look, this child didn't ask to be created! It is depending on you! So buck it up and take care of your responsibilities.
Sorry if I'm coming across as a little harsh but this really is upsetting. I've seen teenagers act more mature than this. At least give this child to someone who would really want it and take care of it. You guys are being terribly selfish. It just breaks my heart.
Try to put someone else's needs above your own. Try to do the unselfish thing here. Can you do that? You can't just think of yourself or even your husband right now. You need to think of this innocent life. Please do the right thing. Put the child first.

[Crritter]

I agree with all the others.  How sad, brianswife, you don't even give yourself your own identity, you go under his name.  You put an innocent baby  to the backseat of his wants.  He may very well change his mind hundreds of times before hte baby is due, and even if there is a next time, he will probably do it again.  He needs to grow up, be a man and take responsibility for himslef and his actions, take his meds and help you.  You are both not ready to be parents, you are both very selfish and only thinking of yourselves.  Leaving the husband would be har, but do you know how many of us have to work and put our kids in daycare.  It's a fact of life, you whatever you have to do to support them.  Talk to his Dr. about his meds and once he's clear headed you should decide what to do.  Good luck, I hope you find a nice home for your baby.

[Crritter]

Sorry for all the typos, as I type this my 15 month old son is snuggling up to me and "helping".  He's a sweetie!

[Hope2OneDay]

I just have to say ONE more thing...

If this guy is in the MILITARY and KNOWS he should be taking something for Bipolar disorder, that is VERY frightening. It's scary to know that someone like that is in our military, a ticking time bomb who could turn on his own comrades, or possibly be the next one in line to murder his pregnant wife/girlfriend like the last two guys did in NC.

So sad that we have people like that wasting away our tax dollars. You'd think the military would teach them discipline and to be MORE responsible for their actions.

[agomez333]

It is sad to know that there are pwoplw out there who actuallt think like this, or get a kick out of getting all these women riled up... Go take ur meds...

[agomez333]

sorry for typos... I meant peoplewho actually think.....

[BabyHardiman]

Honestly, I know for a fact that he would not have been excepted into the military with being diagnosed bipolar.  This chick is off her rocker.  

[April2]

Maybe it's her in the military? All she said was she didn't want to have to move on base. That sounds almost like it's her in the military. Or maybe they both are. Who knows? I noticed she didn't come back on to clarify anything.
If he's the military member it's possible that he was accepted into the military BEFORE any diagnosis. If that's the case, then he's probably hiding it from the military so he doesn't get kicked out. But I would think he'd screw up eventually and get kicked out anyway.
I still think it sounds like she might be the military member. If that's the case then why is she worried? The military has so many programs to help their people and they're all free! They are pretty good to single parents too and even offer free drop-in care once in awhile to help overwhelmed single parents. They can also get reduced rates on their childcare. The military treats it's own pretty well. She just needs to check into all they can offer and help her with. I'd suggest going to the Family Support Center. She can do that whether she's the military one or the spouse. That would be a good first step.

I sure hope she sees all this. I feel sorry for this little baby caught up in all this mess. Poor little soul. Still, one can hope that she comes to her senses and does the right thing.There's always hope.

[nyychic]

I think that it's her in the military cuz she said that she would be deployed right after having the baby.  Whatever......Doesn't matter she's psycho and to think about a child like that is just pathetic.  I mean come on I have 4 children I had 3 miscarriages and it was horrible.  I'm lucky enough to have children and I would never consider an abortion.  Right now I can't handle another child (financially) it wouldn't be fair to my children-----(including the one I'd be having) and I would have to look in to adoption.  I would hate it.  It would kill me.  But I would pick out parents etc.  I wouldn't think about a child like this that's horrible.  She should be ashamed of herself.  I had a tubal ligation to avoid pregnancy I think that she needs a COMPLETE HISTORECTOMY.  

[New Mommy 2 Be 2007]

why doesnt he want it can u guys afford it  if so whats the issue

[tarrah87]

are you kidding me that is an insane question to even ask! that baby deserves so much more than both of you ppl would kill to have a baby and you are wanting to murder your unborn child. i had twins that died when i was 21 wks and i would give my life to have another baby and you are wanting to kill your baby are you F******G crazy. if you dont want him or her at least give the baby a chance at life by adoption

[kenadismommy]

You are sick..  How can you intentionally want to get rid of the beautiful baby you growing inside you??  I can't belive you are wanting to do this for your husband only to be with him.  You are sick and both of you need help.  You say he's bipolar, well what does that make you??  You sure aren't any better than he is.  He's your husband and is suppose to have your support on this.  Then he tells you the next one you can keep, I mean, do NOT SEE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS/?????   Oh, i forgot, you are just as crucial as he is..  So why post on here with this stupid question, I mean do you honestly think you'll get support???????  Girl please, we are mostly all mother here and proud of it...    You DO NOT EVER DESERVE HAVING CHILDREN, i mean this is your opportunity to be such a great mother to your baby but yet you want it out of you just to please your man..   You are A SICK WOMAN..  

Oh and about all these excuses of leaving the baby at daycare and staying on base, these are all very stupid excuses, you are just not ready to be a mom and don't know why you even say you'd keep the next one.

[GoingOnFiveKids]

Look, I'm not one to judge concerning abortions and stuff but it may be in the baby's best intrest that she abort before she kills it herself when its born! She looks the typeto do just about anything for this loser, and she sounds just as sick as he is!  She an idiot for staying with a person with these Mental Problems who wont accept any help for the condition and not only that we all know this mental illness will be passed down to the baby too. She should know that the reason he keeps changing his mind is because of the bipolar disorder. He may even cause her to lose the baby or kill it himself when it's born because he's not right in the head. Remember he's not taking anything for it. That makes him dangerous! I wouldnt want to have a baby from a man who feels he can change his mind on something so big and acting non chalanty as if he was switching coffee for tea. They should take her other kids away too she's seems as unfit as he is. and one of these people are in the military too! that's even more scary. I wouldnt want someone like this to protect ME AND MY COUNTRY who hold absolutely no value for life!    POOR BABY with IT'S SICKO PARENTS!!!!!!!!!

[jenstam]

Doesn't anyone else think this is a fake post? I hope it is...

[GNicole]

I agree-seems like a fake one to me! I sure hope so!

[FebruaryBaby]

I found this post shocking. How could anyone ask something like this.  There are women on this site that want to be mothers and pregnant women on here that have had miscarriages and pray that it doesn't happen again.  I don't want to see you have a miscarrigage but I do think you should consider giving your baby up for adoption, no baby needs a mother that would ask such  a thing.  

[kenadismommy]

I don't think it's a fake post, i think there really are sick people out there like this nut case.  

[kris123]

you never know if it is fake - any way, doing something like trying to have a miscarriage for someone else is not wise.  If you do something you can hurt yourself.  Hummmm, not sure what else to add, don't do something because others in your life say you have too or pressure you to because you will regret it

[addysmom]

As I sit here and type this I actually can't decide if I am sickened, enraged, or sad.  

WTF are you thinking!?  Oh wait...you aren't.  Let me tell you something...I have had 3 miscarriages and wanted a baby more than ANYTHING in the WHOLE world.  My husband and I went through HELL to carry my daughter to term...HE WAS NOT READY for a baby...but failed birth control...yada yada yada....you know what...even though he didn't feel like we were ready he didn't care about his feelings...and he is the best father to our little girl.  

My best friend cannot get pregnant...and it breaks my heart to see her cry when more and more of our friends get pregnant.  I am SO thankful she isn't on this site...or she would probably LOSE IT!

I cannot believe that you are so retarded that you ACTUALLY want to miscarry...and then have the NERVE to come on to a Maternal/Child forum and ASK women who desperately want children how to KILL your child.  

In all honesty...you should be sterilized.  KILLING an innocent unborn child is NOT a form of birth control.  Geez....grow up.  Are you so insecure that you are willing to kill an innocent baby to keep a nutjob husband?  

Ugh...

[digchild]

This is a difficult situation.If your husband still refuses to have kids,just be prepared to be a single parent.But if he changes his mind,it would be fine though.