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over active 4 year old boy
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over active 4 year old boy

my son is a wonderful and bright child.  I have some dicipline problems that I need to get a handle on.  I am a single mom and we live in a one bedroom apartment for now.  He sleeps with me which he has done since birth.  For a while now, when it is time to turn off the light and go to sleep, he gets up starts jumping all over me, hitting me with his pillow and stuffed bunny and refuses to lie down, or stay down when I physically assist him down.  I don't have a lot of patience at this time because, as it being bedtime, I am exhausted. We have a nightly ritual that has always been in place to lay down read two or three books then lights out.  He gets so wound up the more worn out he is.  Also, when he does something that warrants time out, he is impossible.  I would have to physically restrain him in time out to get him to stay there.  That has been the case since the beginning of his time. I have tried getting up and going to the couch and he follows me.  I close him in the room, and have to hold the door and he screams and yells and bangs  the door.  I can't even give myself a time out in the bathroom, becuase he does the same thing.  I obviously haven't been consitent in anything, becasue nothing works with him.  Yesterday, we went grocery shopping and he took off the opposite way from me to go potty. Running through the store.  When I got him and put him in the basket he started tantruming and trying to stand up and get out.  I just don't know what to do with him in any of these intances which are daily. Any good advice for this one??
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Sorry to hear you are having a hard time, I know it gets really tough. Maybe you should take him to a pediatrician to have him tested for different things. Some foods can make children go off the wall, keep the sugar away from him for a couple of days and see how that works. Also, a warm bath right before bed really calms them. I'm no pro at parenting that's for sure, my 9 year old can be a real brat at times. When he gets time out he bangs things up, screams and all that, I just let him go and ignore it. Have you tried taking the toys he loves from him until he behaves, no TV, no treats, that sometimes works. For time out, sit in a chair and hold him tight until he stops thrashing. He really needs to be diciplined in some way. Talk to him and explain why you did it and reward him when he is really good. Positive re-inforcement sometimes works. Remind him when he is good, he'll enjoy the compliments. Good luck.
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This is a very good book:  Lynn Clark's SOS: Help for Parents

I recommend you get a copy and read it.  

Good luck--I know you are frustrated and tired.
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I would just like to say how much I respect you just for being a single mom and seeking help for your child. I have a very active 3 year old and am a stay at home mom, if it weren't for my husband taking him to the mall, park, toy store etc to play pretty much every night the child, as much as I love him, would probably drive me insane.

Good Luck! and Hang in there!! One day he will thank you.
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Avatar_n_tn
I can understand what you are going through. My 4 yr old boy is the same way. I have a lot of help from my husband, but when my son is being very difficult I just tell him if he doesnt stop acting the way he is then I take something away from him that he likes, like games or video games, cartoons for the day or whatever. It works most of the time. I wouldnt beat your self up about not being consistent, it is important, but I think that he is just going through normal 4 year old stuff. They are showing their independence at this age. And mine just started preschool. We had trouble for a couple of weeks with accidents. But he adjusted and is fine now. Their are lots of books out their about raising your child, and I wish I had the names of the ones I have now, but Im on vacation in Texas. I think the key is just understanding what milestones in emotional development your child is at will help cut down on the frustration, and help you realize that he is not personally attacking you or anything. Of course this is all just from my experience so far, Im no expert. But I hope this helps....
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I think we have the same son!!  My 4 year old displayed exactly the same behaviour.  I chalked it up to lots of changes in a few months, left daycare, started JK, new baby sister, grandparents coming and going, mommy home...what else can I throw at him to mess up his world.  I am now a believer that consistancy is EXTREMELY important and empty threats are useless.

My son wouldn't sit at the table for dinner.  So, after trying everything else, I told him if he didn't sit down I was going to throw his dinner out.  He didn't, so I threw it out.  He was so shocked that he now sits through dinner, problem solved.  I now follow through on my threats and after a few days he doesn't test me anymore.

Luckily his behaviour has greatly improved in the last few months.  I think he has settled into JK and his new sister and we have found our "normal" life style.

I guess if you had a friend who never did what they said they would, it wouldn't take you long to lose respect for them and what they said.  So, why should kids believe us if we don't follow through with what we say.

Good luck!!  Don't beat yourself up, we are all trying our best.
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