post partum depression blues

When does it end?  I delivered my baby girl stillborn 1-10-06 at 21weeks. I can't get over this feeling of emptiness.  I have no desire or motivation to do anything any suggestions?

[TriciaAS]

Oh my gosh, I can't believe this has happened to you. Here I am all upset because I miscarried at 11 weeks. I just don't know how you get over something like this. Could you tell us exactly what went wrong?
Dealing with this is like dealing with anybody's passing. My DH's brother died suddenly 2 weeks ago at 40. Very difficult.
Maybe getting pregnant again would make you feel better?
Please look at the future and imagine yourself with positive images. I'm sure the more people you talk to who have been through the same experience as you, might make you feel better.
There is hope and happiness for you. please take care, and keep us updated.

[freakonaleash]

go to your obgyn and talk about it. in my experience, it doesn't end on its own. get help. there's no shame in it.

[SSASSE]

HI. I'M VERY SORRY TO HEAR OF YOUR LOSS. I'M NEW TO THIS FORUM BUT NOT TO MC. I'VE HAD TWO. THE FIRST ONE WAS SO TERRIBLE. I CRIED AND CRIED FOR EVER. THAT WAS IN JULY OF 1999 I WAS PREGNANT AGAIN IN OCTOBER. IF I COULD DO IT OVER AGAIN I WOULD HAVE WAITED TO GET PREG. I NEEDED MORE TIME TO GRIEVE THE LOSS OF THE FIRST CHILD. I WAS SO BITTER DURING THE NEXT PREG. I FAILED TO ENJOY IT THE WAY I SHOULD HAVE.IT'S YOUR BABY NO MATTER WHAT THE STAGE OF PREG. I THINK YOU NEED TO BE ANGRY, CRY AND FEEL SAD. I WAS SO TORN UP ABOUT THAT MC THAT DURING THE NEXT PREG. I WAS ON PROZAC FOR DEPRESSION. I WOULD SUGGEST YOU SPEAK WITH YOUR OB/GYN AND GET WHAT EVER HELP IS AVAILABLE AND WAIT BEFORE YOU TRY AGAIN. YOU'RE IN MY PRAYERS.

[clarabear]

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I don't think you ever get over the death of a child but you do get through it.  I found I reached a point after my 3rd miscarriage that I was beyond reasonable grief, and clinically depressed.  I could not move on at all, or rec onstruct my life because I was so depressed.  I literaly needed to take antidepressants in order to get to a counsellor.  I would be grieving in your position, but if you feel you might be depressed, you could need to treat that before you can deal with the grief.    Thinking of you.

[jgirl34]

First off I want to say I am very very sorry to hear of your loss. I can't imagine what you are going through. POst partum depression on top of what you are going through must be terrible. I had really bad post partum depression, and there is a shot that they can give you and it instantly made me feel better. You may need some therapy and more depression medications if this does not work, just because of what you have been through. I would talk to your Ob/Gyn and tell him/her what is going on. They will totally understand. AGain I am so sorry for your loss. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. May God Bless You through these hard times!

[dignity]

I want to thank all of you that posted a comment to my story.  It really means a lot when others can empathize with my situation.  I was 21 weeks pregnant with my first girl, I have 2 boys 14yr & 7yrs.  Both boys were c-sections because I wouldn't dilate over 5cm and they were pretty big 8lb5oz, 20"&9lb11oz,23"
I had great pregnancies with both boys.  This is a second marriage now and I was having a great pregnancy with this one as well.  Then I started to leak, I thought the baby was sitting on my bladder, but the next morning it was pink tinged, I called the doctor and she told me to come in that afternoon.  I went to her office and the ultrasound showed a healthy baby girl kicking and moving with a heartbeat of 150+.  but on the vaginal exam I was already 2cm dilated and my bag of waters was intact but starting to come out of my cervix.  The doctor laid me on the table with my feet up and my head down and called the ambulance.  She told me that I was going to the hospital and she would give me medicine to stop the dilation but I would have to stay in this position on bed rest in the hospital for 3wks to 4 months that would be the best chance to save the baby.  that way her lungs would be fully developed to survive outside of the womb. But If the labor wouldn't stop then my water would break and she would be born, probably a stillborn.  the next afternoon labor started and the meds couldn't stop it this time, so my daughter was born, a stillbirth.  my husband and I held her and cried over her and was thankful that she did not suffer outside of the womb.  I just finished my first period so we will try again asap.  I do believe I will feel much better emotionally as soon as I get pregnant again.  Thank you all for listening to my story-----GOD BLESS and baby dust to all that are TTC--Carolyn

[rosie1600]

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I truly understand. I was pregnant too. On November 8, I was 36 weeks pregnant when I was having contractions every 5 minutes then I started to bleed a little. I thought maybe I was going to have a premie, so I went to the delivery department and they checked for a heart beat and there was none at all. They brought a doctor to do an ultrasound and there he was laying there with no heart beat or movement at all. My husband and I felt like the world was going to end. I have a 5 1/2 year old son and I felt crushed to think how was I going to tell my son knowing how excited he was. The doctor induced my labor and had my son like any delivery. I am now going to 4 months and there is days I remember exactly how it was and holding him in my arms and I can't help to feel like my life has no meaning. My husband has been very helpful in reminding me about my son needing me here. Now I am focusing on getting pregnant again but when I see that I don't, I get so fustrated and angry at myself. After all I do have peace and strenght from God but I am human and I do sometimes feel it. You need to always have someone to talk to, to get everything out because that's what I feel is helping cope with it. I hope that advise does help.