public, private or home school

someone suggested a type of school post in the pregnancy forum so i figured i'd get it started.

i know the school i went to was GREAT. while i was there. i went back 3 years later when i was writing my thesis for my psychology class. wow....it was AWFUL!!! the kids....were so disrespectful and the teachers i'd known for years and loved were so miserable. the ones who were the most amazing teachers, who helped me to learn and understand in high school looked like they were just.....drained and lifeless. the girls (between the ages of 13-18) were walking around in these tiny, tight, belly showing spaghetti strap tank tops, jeans that were so tight they looked like they were painted on (of course the bum crack was hanging out), or skirts so short the bum cheeks were hanging out OR shorts that looked like undies. i was shocked, horrified and couldn't believe what happened to my alma mater. while i was observing in one of the gym classes i saw a boy and girl kissing in the corner!!! then i saw what shocked me even more....kids walking around on their cell phones... while i was in school all of that behavior and the way they dressed and the use of cell phones was strictly forbidden. if you were caught kissing you were sent to detention. if you came dressed like that the principal sent you home to change and gave you detention. if you were caught with your cell phone the phone was confiscated and after you were caught a second time the phone was confiscated in the office until your parents could pick it up and then the security guard (we did have metal detectors by my senior year) was given instructions to make sure you did not have your phone. if you did it was confiscated till the end of the day. so i asked one of my old gym teachers about it and she said the teachers quit caring b/c the new principal didn't care. i was sickened and heart broken by how my beloved school had turned out.

which do you think is better for your kids? or what are your experiences?

the dh and i are already starting to talk about schools for the boys (even if they are only 9 months old) and we're REALLY leaning towards private school. but neither of us went to private school. we both went to public. my cousin, however, DID go to private school and she said she loved it and when she went back (to register her son for kindergarten) she said it was exactly the same.

[pertykitty]

i suppose it depends on the district (public schooling) and which school you go to. the school i attended at as a child has changed but i think its due to the the changes of the neighborhood itself.  while it was once a middle class area it is now not.  

my son goes to public school and its a very strict district.  clothing, hair, no tolerance policy.  i love it, but with any school anywhere, there are pros and cons.  i think its one of those things i can say public school is great where we go, jane doe can tell you her private school is best, another say home schooling.  its what works for you and your family.   there are many charter schools now that specialize in science, arts, medicine, and they are free.  if you choose a private school start saving now, maybe even find a tax deductable savings.

from my experience it makes or breaks a kid what type of environment they are in with their education.  parent participation is a must as well.  good luck!

[AnnieBrooke]

My nephew goes to public high school.  I asked about gangs, since there have been some problems in his city.  He said there weren't any in his school.  He said "it draws from a middle class population; there aren't any gangs."  So even if one public school has problems of whatever kind, another in the same area does not have to have them.  You just have to do your research.  

I support public school, and know a lot of people who have gone a long way in life who went to public school and to public university.  I went to public school through high school and then to both public and private universities, and I did not feel the public version was any worse than the private at the college level (though by graduate school there was definitely a difference in the amount of resources the private university had for the students' benefit.)  There is also no guarantee that a private-school education will make people happier or more successful in life.  

It also seems like supporting public schools is part of being a good parent, and part of being an good citizen.  If everyone who could afford it scooted their kids into private education, there would be an inevitable drain from the support of public schools, leaving the less powerful to suffer crummy schools, and leaving society with a less-educated base to have to try to function with over time.  Ignorance is very costly to a society, and failing to support public education asks for trouble in the long run.

This does not mean I won't do my school visits, look up the schools' ratings, and try to choose a school wisely for my son.  The neighborhood where I live now is pretty white-bread, and I've heard of a Spanish-English immersion K-6 charter school nearby with a population about 60% Caucasian and 40% Hispanic.  It might be that he'll go there, so at least he knows other kids who don't look like him, and can speak another language!  Americans can be so unaware of any society besides their own, and that's not the way the world is.

[pertykitty]

calebs school is full of all races, and he honestly doesnt see the difference.  how great is that!!  

drugs are part of all school.  maybe gangs too.  sex, drinking parties.  heck in high school the best pot came from the catholic school kids, so there you go!

[AnnieBrooke]

I didn't ask him about drugs, knew the answer to that already.  Every high school kid knows where drugs are sold, usually within feet of the school.  (That's been true since *I* was in high school.)  

He's a pretty sophisticated kid and is widely known in the school, and had nothing to hide about his school experience (I wasn't going to make a case about it even if he did say something negative), so I believe him about the gangs.  If they are there, they are low-keying it or they aren't a bother to kids.  They sure must not be wearing colors and tossing signs in the halls, or he would have mentioned it.  I just was pleased to hear a high-school junior, from a big city and a mixed-culture neighborhood, act like he enjoyed his school experience and wasn't feeling pushed in any way by the social environment.