scared of labor pains

hi. i am 31 years old and have been ttc for 10 years.so last year underwent IVF and luckily conceived now i am 23 weeks. But im extremely scared of the labor pains and worried how will mine take place. just worried too much though i know im not the first one in the world to undergo this neither the last. but still will appreciate if u can share ur views.

[Kash12]

A friend of mine is like u and extremely scared of labor pains.. this is what I tell her. Whenever u r scared of the pain .. just remember the end result ... a sweet baby that would be in ur arms by the end of it.. and the fear will go away :)
Good luck

[mami1323]

To be honest, they are painful but not too much that you can't handle.  Surprisingly, I wasn't nervous because I was sooo desperate to get him out after being a week overdue.  I actually did really well.  I was sooo afraid that the pain would be too much but it was bearable.  No screaming, just deep breathing.  I did get an epidural but since it only worked on one side of my body it really didn't do much.  Looking back, I really didn't even need it.  My labor was very quick.  Pushing, was long and exhausting but didn't really hurt.  It was more uncomfortable but not painful.  I had a very good delivery and so worth it once they put my son on my belly for the first time.  It was such a surreal moment and I think back and would do it all again.  You will be fine.

[cantwait4baby]

I am a big baby and I went through a lot when I was pregnant.  Pain was daily for me.  Labor and then a C-section was nothing compaired to being pregnant.  I would do that again tomorrow.  (with an epi of course I am not a hero)  Get the epi and you will be fine.  It was not nearly as bad as I had thought.

[GNicole]

I went through being induced for 5 days with no luck. I was having horrible contractions but never dialated. I finally had a c-section and that was not bad at all. I would definitely have another one.  I remember being scared though. One of the nights I was in the hospital the girl next door to me had her baby and she was screaming horribly. I remember being really really scared then but it is all worth it in the end. Just remember the pain is only temporary.

[girliegrl1723]

i will tell ya, it wasn't so much the labor for me that was painful as the recovery! the labor pains were menstrual cramp-like, as they tell you they will be. they get increasingly worse, but nothing you can't handle. i delieverred vaginally and had an epidural, so the whole actual birth was not so bad. it was for the few weeks afterwards that i was yelling at everyone who didn't tell me about that part. i thought i would just push him out and be done, haha, not to scare ya or anything, but for me it took a while to feel back to "normal".

[precious_baby]

hey thanks each of u. hope things work out well with me  

[gen584]

hey girl
im 24 and i have 3 of my own let me tell u the pain is worth it all when u see ur beautiful baby i would dare take no drugs for pain cause i know it would all be over with before long

[CYW]

i remember being in your position just 8 months ago...It is a scary time, especially when it is your first time. I was induced and it did hurt but i got the epidural..that helped alot...under 8 hours..got the epidural 5 hours through and had my baby boy 3 hours later..after they finally realized i was dilated...bunch of dummies...

anyways i wont sugar coat it because labour is the worst pain you will ever undergo in your life HOWEVER our bodies are made to deal with it and the end result is worth doing it all over again...It's difficult to focus on your baby sometimes because it so surreal..i know it was for me but after holding my little one for the first time...I would do it over and over and over and over again for him in a heartbeat...During labour you will find things that will work for you or that will nto work.. you might want someone rubbing your back or not even touching you, you might want someone holding your hand etc..you  might not like the noise.. I didnt want anyone to touch me and i didnt like the noise...it completely threw me off track with concentrating...people need to respect that and if they dont they they ought to leave you alone...

We all say while it's done and over it's really not that bad but while you are going through it you think it is hell...but you will see once you have your baby you wills ay the same as we do...like my mom says "It's a pain easily forgotten"

[chinesebones]

The thing that surprised me the most about labor was the intermittent nature of it.  During the contractions, it was very intense, but in between I felt totally normal. It's like your body gives you a chance to rest and regroup in between each one.  I would tell my dh "Here comes another one" and afterwards "I'm back!"  Since the contractions usually start slowly and get stronger as time goes on, you get a chance to develop your own methods of coping while they're still small enough not to be overwhelming.  I read some books ahead of time that were very useful, especially Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and the Bradley Method book.  Ina May's books (Spiritual Midwifery is another one) are great for giving you a different way of thinking about labor, and all these books gave me useful methods for dealing with the pain.  Just ignore the parts of the books that talk about epidurals- they both have a bias towards going natural, but no one should give you a guilt trip about using pain relief- you're the one in labor, not them!  They can help you not be so nervous, and give you coping techniques to use before the epidural kicks in.
Congratulations on your miracle baby, and try not to worry!
PS GNicole, it took four days of inducing to get my labor started, and I had ladies give birth in the rooms on either side of me.  One went natural and was screaming and screaming- that was so scary.  The other must have had an epidural, because she was so quiet, all I heard was "push, push" and then the baby crying for the first time.  

[CYW]

i wish i would have had a break in between contractions.. it was a non stop thing for me and it sucked but as you say your body knows what to do..its wierd.. as awful as the pain is...you are okay...you want to give up but your body wont let you..its amazing... i was induced at 4pm and got my epidural at 830..by 5 i was about 5 seconds apart with the contraction lasting 55 seconds...so i had time to just breathe in and another was on its way...i wished i wouldnt of had to be induced because i can imagien it would have been less worse..i think... but anywho women were screaming and one nurse told her youre not even having a contraction...i had been in labour for 4.5 hours when they called the anestisiologist and at 910 it did effect...at 11 i was fully dilated from 3cm at 830...go figure...the epidural is a wonderful thing...

[stephanie231]

Honestly alot of the pain in labor is in your head. The more you think it will hurt the more it will hurt because you will tense up and be expecting the worst. If you believe it's not so bad and you can handle it you can. I had my 2nd and 3rd child no epidural, with my 2nd i was freaking but my midwife told me to calm down and I went to sleep for 3-4 hours. Just remember rather you want an epidural or not that you are a strong woman (if you can get through 10 years ttc you can get through alot) and you can do it!!

[shanny400]

Hi,

I know how you feel. Anyway just think about the bundle of joy you will be having after the pain. Its what comes after the pain you should be comforting yourself with and not the pain. Remember "no pain no gain". But pain doesn't last forever.

[chinesebones]

Yikes, I forgot about induction contractions.  I was induced but with cytotec so it wasn't as intense as pitocin (I imagine, having no basis for comparison.)  For me, I started with 5-6 minutes between contractions and only had those contractions one on top of another when I got to the transition stage.  Honestly, at that point I would have asked for an epidural if I could have spoken.  Suddenly I found I was pushing and tried to stop; my dh asked if he should get the midwife- that's the closest I got to yelling at him- "yes!  now!"  I decided that if I weren't completely dialated I would get the epidural, but she said I was, and the next stage of the fun began.
I was trying not to freak out the OP, since she'll probably have the epi long before that stage.

[Hope2OneDay]

Believe me, I worried about it too. But there's no sense in worrying about it (easier said than done ;-).
Once your water breaks, or you're admitted to the hospital, everything happens so fast (even if it doesn't seem like it at the time). I had an epi and unfortunately it wore off. I didn't have the easiest labor, and they ended up using forceps to help me out (which I am grateful for!). To make matters worse, I was throwing up between contractions.

Sooo, a few months later two of my friends have babies one week apart. They both had epidurals, they both pushed about 4 times, and both had their babies within 20 minutes as opposed to my 3 1/2 hours! LOL

Even though my birth experience didn't turn out like theirs, I learned that I am capable of getting through things that I NEVER thought I would be. I think the part you should be spending your time worrying about is what happens AFTER the baby is finally here! Now THAT'S something you can never be prepared for! The hormones wreaking havoc, no sleep, learning how to take care of another human being. Those are the things I should have concentrated on while pregnant. And believe me, a hard labor isn't the only way those little buggers can make you suffer! LOL

Best of luck to you!

[CYW]

steph-im sorry but when your body is FORCED to have labour and your body is going through labour on meds because your body cannot do any of the work...it's NOt all in your head...It's just like someone who has never been pregnant told me morning sickness was all in my head...uhm ya ooook...

chinese-yeah they broke my water but nothing ever happened.. no labour pains or anything...Sighs...I wish it would have...i had to get induced because my bp was too high..every week i saw the dr it was higher and higher...that scared me...everyone has a different thresh hold for pain..i didnt think labour was too bad until 8pm when i had been in HARD intense labour since 4...I remember asking this same question as the OP back in july or so...even those around me said it wasnt that bad...BUT the honest truth was yes it is the most horrible pain you will go through but in the end its for a good cause...

[precious_baby]

yes i do agree its all for a beautiful cause. and I guess at this point of time after reading each of ur comments hmmmmm the only thing I am doing is enjoying my little constructions workers work inside me. yes i ahve gone through lots in 10years ttc from missed abortions to people asking me why no kids oooooo that was the most horrible part. so compared to that this definetly is gonna bear me a wonderful fruit. But can anyone tell me which is the right time to rush to the hospital? should I wait for my water bag to break or run in between contractions ? I wish everyone all the joys and happiness of motherhood and wish everyone whos ttc lots and lots of babydust. love to all of u. never expected so many responses for my question.

[mami1323]

You will go to the hospital when your contractions become consistent and strong.  You need to time them and I believe once they are 5 minutes apart you go.  Once your water breaks you should go straight there.  I'm not an expert on this because I got induced so you might want to check with the other ladies who went naturally.

[MOM2B24]

im scared to death too. I am 32 weeks and I know its coming soon and it freaks me out. Yeah sure women do it everyday, but you haven't. Its ok to be a little freaked out. Its out "lot in life" as women. For men, their eyebrows grow together, lol. Just try to forget about it for now. you have a ways to worry about it. Be strong, its scarey, but just know we're all here for ya!!

[CYW]

if your water breaks as a "gush" you should go to the hospital right away because of fear for infection/dry birth...some women contract an hour later some 5 and some never...especially if you test pos for gbs you need the antibiotics at least 4 hours before you give birth...also if it is just a trickle they may send you home...speak to your dr about it and anything you are unsure of call the labour and delivery...they will be glad to help you...also...to go in for contractions your dr will tell you...if he/she doesnt just ask...me it was 3-5 mins for 2 hours...good luck..enjoy your pregnancy you still have a way to go...but you will miss it before you know it and then your baby will be growing too fast...

[peekawho]

Precious baby, you have a lot of reading to do about childbirth.  Some of the information you have been given here leaves a lot to be desired.  

Read books, ask specific questions if needed.  Its always better to read and learn as much as you can.  There are terrific books out there.  

[JMcGee]

Everything will just come naturally to you. I was scared my first time, and actually I was way worse the second time around, go figure, lol. You will do just fine, and remember that all the Dr.'s and nurses are ALL there for you to make you comfortable and relaxed. I am ttc now and I know my time will come again and I will be scared, for the 3rd time....who knows? it may be worse this 3rd time than the last 2, lol. Good luck to you and just remember to relax. You know that something wonderful is going to come out of it at the end, so you will breeze through it. ENJOY!!!

[kjbutcher]

by the time you are 40 weeks you will be just waiting to feel the pains.  Every little thing you feel you will wonder if it is going to get worse.  You will actually be wanting bad pains to come.  It is a gradual thing so you kind of get used to it by the time it gets worse, or at least know what the next step is.

[mami1323]

OMG!!!  Yes, I would have minor contractions and pray that they were going to get worse.  I was soooo miserable since I was a week late.  I just wanted to go into labor.  That's funny that you wrote that.

[stephanie231]

i was not trying to imply labor didn't hurt, what I meant is that the way you handle it can make it worst or better. If you stress, panic, or just think to yourself that this is the worst pain ever it will be bad (mostly because you are tensing up), but if you try and relax and think to yourself that you can do this, the pain won't seem as bad. Before my 1st birth everyone told me how bad it would hurt so after my contractions started they seemed so awful, and with my 2nd birth I remembered how awful the first labor was (37 hours) but after my midwife told me to calm don and relax, and remember that I could this, it was still painful but it was soooooo much better. Then for my 3rd labor my water broke and after about 10 hours of no contractions I was given pitocin, but the whole time i knew i could do it because I had no drugs the second time and I was able to manage my own pain better. Yes labor hurts like hell, I just don't want anyone to psych themselves out about it because it can be managed.