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tattoo as memorial for my unborn children? Advice?
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tattoo as memorial for my unborn children? Advice?

Good morning ladies,
Well, I just had a need for some advice this morning. I have 4 tattoos and my DH doesnt really like them but i love them and I would probably have alot more if it werent for him but lately I have really been down about my past m/c/s and have been looking for a way to remember and honor them, because they still were our babies. I have decided to get another tattoo in honor of my babies but DH doesn't approve. I know if I push the issue he will be ok with it but i dont want it to cause problems.
What should i do, what would you'all do?

Thanks, I am constantly watching this post and each and everyone of you are in my prayers no matter what your going thru!!
HUGS!!!!!
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19 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_n_tn
I only have one but have too been thinking about having two angels (small ones) placed on my shoulder. about the size of a quarter.  small enough but its not like I'
d ever forget..
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Avatar_n_tn
I wouldn't get a tattoo, but that is my opinion.

My family has tattoos so I'm not against it, but I wouldn't be getting one to honor the MCs.  I would rather honor them by remembering them.

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Avatar_n_tn
no i would never forget either but I would like something that everytime and looked at it I could remember and maybe feel some peace about the whole thing.
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Avatar_n_tn
As someone who has 9 tattoos and will get another as soon as Quinn is born with her name and a design. I say def get one. It is your body and DH will just have to live with it. I think it is wonderful that so many women get tat's to remember their little ones who have passed. I find it a very fitting tribute.
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148691_tn?1260198503
Hey girlie, i don't think you would be honoring your miscarriage, you would be honoring your Baby!, and i felt the same as you, i thought about a tatoo...but, in my job they are very strict about this stuff and in a warm weather is not gonna be easy to wear skirts or sleeveless shirts then.
I got a little charm that attaches to my watch. It has a little blue baby chic (or peep) very cute and has little ornaments around it and has stones hanging. It was not expensive at all, but i kissed it and said a little prayer and made it the charm that honors my little baby (i have the feeling it was a boy), and to be honest, everytime i feel down again, i raise my hand and touch the charm and i feel a little boost of tenderness and hope.
Have a happy begining of the week! =)
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Avatar_n_tn
Thanks everyone. When I say honoring my m/c's I dont mean honoring the actual m/c, but the beautiful babies that didn't have a chance.

THanks ALL!!!
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Avatar_n_tn
I say go for it. You have other tatoos so you're "experienced". I think we women know when we can push our husbands to be more open to things and when they're just not going to budge. If you know that DH will be ok with it, then go for it, but if it would truly cause more issues, its probably better to do something else. I was a peircing girl myself and still feel the urge sometimes to get another one, but my DH is more conservative in that area than I am, and honestly, its just not that big of a deal for me at this point. Good luck.
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129291_tn?1205780063
When I lost my second baby, we decided to honor her by planting a Pink Jasmen infront of our house. DH, DD and I all did it together and even though I am 21 weeks prego again and all the talk is about this baby, we see it growing infront of our eyes everyday! That was just our way of honoring the  lost angel!
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Avatar_n_tn
I like the idea of a memorial tattoo.  I think that if you sat your DH down and explained how much it would mean to you and how it would be you way of coping, he would hopefully understand.  I've thought about getting a little cherub on the inside of my ankle to honor my departed little one.  I would have to wait until this one is born, though,obviously.  But still, i would have one with my baby's name and dates and whatnot....why not have something to commemorate the one that never had a chance to live.  I have other tattoo's, one of which is in memory of my departed father.  Why would it be any different to memorialize a lost little angel.
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Avatar_n_tn
I had no tattoos and really wanted one but knew hubby wasnt so keen. Last Nov I m/c naturally at 12 weeks a little baby and it tore me apart we burried possibly a boy into our garden with a nice statue I already had but felt I needed something to honour my wee baby I lost forever and I went and got a tattoo done on my lower back with nice butterflys on it I love it so much my hubby quite likes it to I think its a wonderful idea. I havent told many friends I got a tattoo done I dont like talking too much about the baby I lost. I'm so sorry for you. I'm now 27weeks preg with my 2nd girl cant wait to meet her. take care
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Avatar_f_tn
I don't have a tattoo for a m/c, but I do have a tattoo in memory of my dad who passed away in a car accident. His favorite junk food was m&m's. So I got a red m&m on the top of my foot. It makes me so happy to talk about him when people ask me the meaning of it.
So I think it's a good idea to get a tattoo for your angels!
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117004_tn?1218648744
I have a memorial tattoo for my baby that i miscarried in january.  I think it is a wonderful idea.  I think that your husband will have to accept that it is your body and your choice.  I made mine discrete enough that someone would have to ask what it means.  If your husband is against it, put it on your body in a place where he wont have to see it all the time.  Did he give you a reason WHY he doesnt want you to get this tattoo?  is it because it is a tattoo??  my dh doesnt like tattoo's either but hey, its my body and he respects that.


good luck girl.. and i am sorry you lost your babies...
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108334_tn?1253647995
I agree with Staci, he should understand that this would really help you. I got one less than a month after I miscarried. DH is not against tattoos, but it was "his turn" to get one. He gladly let me do that, it helped me a lot. It is on the top of my foot. People that don't know me just think it's a tattoo, but if they ask, I tell them. Good Luck!
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Avatar_n_tn
I personally like the idea of the charm, but if ur into tattoos then one more wouldnt hurt? Sorry so many posts on here did u say u was getting one for a new arrival? If u are then why skip one? I think try to talk to hubby again, or come to a compramise. I know he should understand etc, but if hes really not a tattoo man (Or maybe it hurts for him to be reminded constantly, u could ask him that) maybe u could do a tree? I like that idea too, cos the tree grows and brings happiness and life to it as ur child would.

I think find wat works for u, maybe see if theres something else that feels fitting before asking hubby again. all the best
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Avatar_n_tn
why not add to the ones you already have instead of adding another"placement of the tattoo"  Just a suggestion so he could meet you 1/2 way....doesn't hurt to ask him on that.
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Avatar_n_tn
I have 3 tattoos myself, and will get more i'm sure throughout the years.  my first and favorite is the one i have of my children.  i have a tattoo of a sun and in the sun are my childrens' initials.  as of now i have 3 sets (my niece included) but once the baby is born i have to get 2 new sets added (my little one and my nephew).  i am lucky to still have these wonderful children with me and hope to never deal with the loss.  i'm sorry for all you are going through.  
the reason i treasure my tattoo so much is no one really knows what it is until i explain it.  every living thing needs the sun to go on, as i need my children.  they are the light in my life.  my daughter is proud of her initials being on her mommy and would show them to anyone she could.
i went to school with a girl who had the nickname she had given the baby she lost on her arm.  she said the reason for that, and not the legal name was because it was something special shared between her and the baby she lost.  let dh know this is something that you're not so much doing because he doesn't want you to but rather something special you can share/give for those little ones you lost yet loved so much.  i hope everyone has a wonderful afternoon and good luck to all of those ttc.
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Avatar_n_tn
I have had such an awful time with my current third pregnancy that I plan to have another tattoo done after the baby is born, maybe not so much for her but for all the pain and worry and personal decimation I've gone through. I plan to have a phoenix tattooed over the area on my lower back where all the pain has been, as the phoenix, like the Moon and Jesus, is "dead" for 3 days and then rises from the ashes. I think it's a wonderful idea to remind yourself of the transformation you have endured from knowing these babies. Also, it's awesome you respect your hubby's opinion but I'm with the other ladies that it's YOUR body. I also think he might soften up a bit to it over time, after all they were his babies too. Good luck to you!
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Avatar_n_tn
I have had 2 m/c in the past 8 mos. About a month ago I went to my tattoo guy and got 2 blue hearts with wings and the dates in each. My tattoo artist said that blue hearts represent sadness. I got them on each of my shoulders so my angels are always watching. I say go for it. My husband got praying hands on his bicep. I also have a butterfly for my grandmother between my shoulderblades with her initials in it.  It is a wonderful idea.
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Avatar_n_tn
I have a memorial tattoo for my little girl who passed.  I went with an angel kneeling and praying and then a halo over Sara's name
You do what makes you feel comfortable, and what you think of when you think of your baby
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