I'm not bleeding that heavily, it's sometimes like fluid, in the beginning it was a dark brown.. now its light red... it's more like a light flow that's on and off... but maybe the depo has knocked off my hormone level to where the pt can't get a positive... my stomache is shaping and is really hard where the uterus is and around the top... I thought it was possible to become pregnant instantly when you're about to get the next shot... maybe Iam sterile.... I really do want one
You can continue to post under your original thread. We are limited in how many can be opened a day.
The hormone created by pregnancy would not be masked because of the depo shot. I would talk to your nurse or doctor about trying to become pregnant. I am sure they will be able to offer you better advice than we can here because they have your records there in front in them. Good Luck.
thanks... I guess I need to wait a couple of weeks or months before actually really "trying" then. so how will I know when I am on a regular cycle and not just bleeding, or how will I know when I finally ovulate
When the bleeding you have now stops and your cycles come at fairly similar intervals. You can do a search on Ovulation with any search engine. You should pull up many signs/symptoms. There are also online calendars that can help you track your cycles. Since you are 17, you might try asking your mom (if possible) for her guidance in this matter as well.
I am so glad that the above statement was made. You cannot take the idea of having a baby so lightly. It is the biggest decision you and your partner will ever make. Stability is a must! Give yourself time to grow and learn about life. There is no rush.
I'm confused...did I in some way shun the topic of teen pregnancy? I thought I did address it by encouraging her to think about what she was doing, and wait. Should I have given her some other advice? Like, hey, you're 17, unmarried, bleeding heavily for weeks, swollen stomach...go on and try to get pregnant?
I have never made a secret of the fact that I am pro-choice, despite the fact that that is a very unpopular stance here. I'll agree that abortion cannot be discussed in a reasonable way on this forum.
But just in case....
Lets get this straight. You are 17 years old and are trying to get pregnant. You are not even married yet. Did you finish high school early, or are you finishing this coming June?
Why the rush? Your body is barely finished maturing and changing, and your intellect and emotions still have a long way to go towards maturity. I'm not saying that teens can't be loving mothers, but to deliberately go out of your way to conceive when you have not yet begun your own adult life is not exactly the most adult of decisions.
You need to get your health checked out and your priorities straight before undergoing this most serious of life changing events. Finish your education if you havent', get married, and learn to live with and grow with your husband for a while before adding a baby into the mix.
You are having odd symptoms and the adult thing to do before trying to conceive is to go to the doctor and figure out why you are having these symptoms.
Good luck to you. I know this comes off preachy, but I see so many teen moms and they give very little thought to actually raising a child for the next 21 years. Most only want a cuddly baby and can't think beyond that. Grow up first. There is time for babies later.
I so totally agree with you. I have a 16 yr old sister who goes to high school every day and sees pregnant girls all around her. They all think it's "cute" and "fun" to be pregnant and have babies.
I think you are right that all they think about is a sweet cuddly baby. They don't think that those sweet cuddly babies could have colic and scream for hours on end for weeks. They don't think that those sweet cuddly babies need diapers and food and that costs way more money than any teen can possibly earn. And forget about the future. What teen mom has EVER considered that her child will need college tuition money?
I was 23 when I actually gave birth to my first child and I can tell you even then it was tough. I am 26 with 2 children and it is still tough. I was pg at 14 and again at 17 (both were condom babies) and realize now that is was a blessing I lost both of those babies. I would not normally ever consider a m/c a blessing, but I do know that I would not have ever met and married my husband and had the two wonderful boys I have today.
Teen pregnancy is a scary thing. I saw many teens getting pregnant when I was a teenager and also saw most of those babies taken into the system because the mothers realized it wasn't all fun and games. Babies are a huge responsibility to say the least.
NO! NO! That isn't how I meant for it to be taken. I'm so sorry you took it that way!!! I should have written it better. I was trying to word it in a way I wouldn't have to use exact language. If that makes sense.
I meant it along the lines of Hmmmm? Two touchy topics and the Hmmm? posts usually stem from those. Only a regular would know which buttons to push. Know what I mean?
Not knocking teen moms, but for someone in the above situation, 17 years old, not married, bleeding and having concerning symptoms, to actively be trying to conceive is in my opinion, not the best situation.
Teen pregnancies can and do obviously happen all the time. Each person has to deal with the situation to the best of their ability. But to actively try to put yourself in that situaion is not the best choice, though I commend you and your husband on how well you have done. I'm sure it was quite hard work, and I would bet you would not lightly encourage another teen to blithely try the same thing.
Thanks, Kellie! It is amazing how two average looking people can have such cute boys : ) Notice how really beautiful couples have not so beautiful babies,lol. That's okay, karma paid us back, Tristan is colicky and Jonathan is 2, need I say more?
Joined this conversation a little late but wanted to put my two cents in. Not all teen mothers are bad mom's. I'm 22 and have three children. I had my first child right after my 18th birthday. I feel I am a great mom. I have owned my own home for 4 years and have been married for five years. My DH (only 3 years older than me) and I own our own HVAC company a boat a fourwheeler and three vehicles. We are doing so much better than most older parents in our comunity and it always upsets me so much to hear people downtalk teen mom's.
Sorry i must have misunderstood the post's. It's just a touchy subject for me because when i meet people out like at my doughters dance class they are nice and treat me as an adult but when they find out how old i am they act like i am just some dumb child. Yes it was very hard work to achiev all we have but well worth it.
I believe this is what was said about teen moms "I'm not saying that teens can't be loving mothers, but to deliberately go out of your way to conceive when you have not yet begun your own adult life is not exactly the most adult of decisions." I don't recall us saying anything bad about teen mom's ability to parent. At least I don't remember Heather, Christie, Kellie or I saying anything.
We were commenting on this particular poster's intentions. There is always an exception in most cases, but as a general rule, the reasons for having children as a teenager are not because they are ready or responsible enough to be a parent, but rather they are looking for someone to love them, are naive and think it is easy, or are trying to save a doomed relationship.
THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR COMMENTS... BUT i REALIZE THE RESPONSIBILITES.. BELIEVE ME i HAVE BEEN TAKING CARE OF BABIES FROM BIRTH TO THEY ARE 12 AND UP SINCE i WAS 7.... i REALIZE THAT i NEED TO BE MENTALLY AND FINANCILLY STABLE BEFORE EMBARKING MY LIFE INTO TAKING CARE OF SOMEONE ELSE BEFORE TAKING CARE OF MY SELF FOR OVER 18 YEARS.... BOTH ME AND MY FIANCE' ARE READY FOR THAT... AND YES i ALREADY HAVE MY GED BUT AM IN A HIGHSCHOOL PROGRAM IN ORDER TO HAVE BOTH... PLUS I'M A CNA... I THINK THAT MAYBE YES, I DO NEED TO WAIT BUT HE'LL ALREADY HAVE THE CAR AND HOUSE BY THE TIME I'M DONE WITH TRAINING WHICH WILL BE IN FEB. WHEN I TURN 18... I'M IN JOBCORPS RIGHT NOW..
As was already mentioned-what's the hurry? You are ONLY 17!!!! YOu have years and years ahead of you!
If you KNOW he will have a house and car in Feb, why not wait until Feb to concieve? Or better yet, at least until he is a husband, NOT a fiance.
And I go back to my original concern as well.... do you have a plan for saving for college (for the baby)? What about a plan should something go wrong, such as birth defects? Do you have health insurance that will cover a premature infant staying in the hospital for several weeks?
I dont' really expect an answer to these questions, my point is, these are things YOU shoudl consider before jumping into the parenting pool before your really an adult yourself.
I will also add that you can have all the material things in the world but that is not what makes a good parent. If you are spending all your time working to pay the mortgage on a house that is more than you need or paying on 3 new cars, that is time away from baby and added stress you could live without. I am able to be a stay at home mom because we both drive used cars (paid for) and value time at home with our kids more than having the latest and greatest of everything.
My dad and stepmother each pull 6 figures a year, but they are both lousy parents. Neither were ever home and when they were they were bringing their work home with them. Money does not provide happiness, I can attest to that! When I was working, dh and I made a handsome living, but that never mattered to us. As long as we provide for our children the love and support they need along with basic necessities (food, shelter, clothing) and the occasional treat (I say occasional,but they get treats often) all is fine and dandy ; )
Sorry, it just bugs me when people think you have to have money to be happy or good parents. We have great health insurance and our kids never have to worry about anything, but we are still a paycheck to paycheck family.
I was just curious if that comment was directed towards me because if so there is alot you apparently don't know about me. I am a stay at home mom who spends every moment of my time caring for and loving my children. All of my vehicles are paid for also and so is everything else we own. My husband works a 7-3:30 job and has plenty of time that he spends with our children. My point is age doesn't have alot to do with things. everybody matures at a different rate and some are just ready to have a family sooner.
We live in debt, not huge debt and we are responsible about not letting that debt grow, but debt is debt and puts a dent in plans you want to make.
I wanted a 3rd child. Truth be told, I wanted a house full of children and once I got preg with this baby I realized the ENORMOUS cost this extra child will be. If we have that 3rd child, then it takes things away from our first 2 that I am not sure I am willing to sacrifice. I have to decide what's more important, satisfying MY desire to have a 3rd child or being able to take the 2 kids we do have on nice vacations every few years. OR affording dance, karate, gym or whatever classes they may want to take.
And another cost that is hitting hard on us that you never realize is school!!! School clothes, school photos, PTO dues, fundraisers, buying books from those little flyers, etc. It's only $5 -$10 here and there, but when you write a check EVERY week, then look at your statement at the end of the month, it's pretty shocking!
We have had plans to homeschool our kids since before they were ever born, so I guess my years of education will pay off afterall. I get to miss out on all those crappy fundraisers (I have always hated the idea of my kids hawking things to strangers) My point was material possessions do not make a parent great or a life more blissful. I was on both ends of the spectrum growing up, I lived full time with a mom who made a great living as a nurse, but drank it all away and left us with no food in the fridge. But I also lived with my dad and step mother in middle school and while they had money coming out of everywhere, they were no more satisfied with their lives and neither were us kids. Truth be told, though our mother was rarely home, I had more fun at her house as it gave my brother and i the opportunity to form a great and lasting bond as we weren't preoccupied with possessions or bickering over what belonged to who. I just take offense to people implying that because they may have more financial success that it equips them with the necessary tools to be a better parent.
As far as debt, ours is small. We pay cash for everything, save up for the big stuff and we never worry about anything. I am happy to say that we have happy kids (well except for Tristan, difficult baby from the start, but he is big and healthy and has all he needs).
You say you have thought this out, but do you realize that by having a baby now you will be responsible for another human being LONGER THAN YOU HAVE BEEN ALIVE? Pretty serious stuff.
I'm thinking y'all are right about the HMMMM but I thought I'd add my 2 cents in case any other teens wander on here wanting a baby. maybe this is mean but if you need something to cuddle for awhile get a doll. They make some really realistic ones now.
I had my children when I was 20 and 21. I don't regret them for a nanosecond...they are my world, but I will tell you this. I wasn't equipped to raise them then like I am now. I did it by myself the first 3 1/2 years and it was both financially and emotionally draining. Wait until you are older and financially responsible (and I don't mean in jobcorps and making $9 per hour) that won't even pay for daycare.
I know this was harsh but I'm hoping for a reality check.
As for the depo, I was on it. Statistically, the majority of women may take up to a year to conceive.
I agree and think one should also consider waiting until they will no longer be relying on assistance from other people/places. I know of quite few women who think they are in great shape financially, never mind the fact that the state provides them with childcare and their kids with medical insurance as they cannot afford their own. I think making the decision to become pregnant should never be entered into lightly and that there needs to exist a solid relationship between both partners.
I know I sound old fashioned, but I still like the idea of a married couple (notice I am not saying it has to be man and woman, don't get me started,lol) that is secure in their relationship. Not all marriages last, but that does provide some security. Face it, statistically some 70% of all prison inmates grew up in single parent homes. I don't think that is a coincidence. Why not give your kids the best shot at succeeding. I did work as a grunt aid before nursing school, it is all to easy to get a career ending injury and there you are 17, still not married and trying to figure out how in the hell you are going to pay rent, let alone feed you and the baby.
Take some time to think about it long and hard before jumping into anything. Taking care of someone elses kids, even your own siblings is much easier than taking care of your own. When you are ultimately responsible for everything in that child's life and their well-being it is tough. I raised my little brother as our mom was always gone, but I was not the one providing a roof over our heads and food in our mouths. Raising is more than babysitting, it is a lot of responsibility.
Now who is the one preaching,lol. I need to get out more...
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