this goes with the "pot smoking" post: TO EVERYONE

[On baby #3]

it was getting too busy on that post. I know a variety of girls who did a variety of things while pregnant. i know 3 off the bat who smoked thier WHOLE pregnancy!!! my friends mother smoked weed with her for 9 months and she is ok. NOT THAT IT IS RIGHT AT ALL! but I am in the same boat. I have smoked weed for years. I am a great mother, a hard worker, i am not a drug addict or anything. Now with both of my children- ages 5 and 3- i smoked UNTIL i found out I was prego then i weened my self off and stopped for the duration of the pregnancy. both kids are fine. my 5 year old is a brainiac!!! Now I just found out I was prego and I am already over 8 weeks so I have obviously stopped smoking. You are not a bad person for asking this question. At least you are asking. SOOOO many girls just do things and DO NOT worry about how it is affecting the babies. My suggestion is STOP smoking now and then you wont have to worry about it.

And another suggestion- lets not bash the hell out of a girl who is asking a question. thats what we are here for. Everyone has different lifestyles. I bet a bunch of girls on here smoke ciggs and they are bad too and one girl said she drinks wine so no body is perfect. Just stop smoking and u will be ok.

[nikkicole827]

I agree that she was asking a question and we shouldn't be too harsh.  I just hope that she understands what I said in my response to her.

[newbie2b]

I wouldnt say that everyone is bashing her.  But I can understand where the frustrations of some women would come from.  A lot of women on this site have been ttc for such a long time and have tried everything.  So for them, it's unthinkable to put a precious life in any unneccecary jeopardy.
I had a co-worker once who had such trouble getting pregnant.  She and her husband tried EVERYTHING.  Finally the fertility treatment worked and she was pregnant.  I was eating some Lindts chocolates with Armarretto in them and I offered one to her.  She read the whole package looking for the amount of armarretto that it actually contained, before she declined. So if you can imagine her turning down a chocolate, what a women like her would say to a pot smoker.  
I'm not judging anyone.  To each there own.  I worry about what I do and what goes in and out of MY pregnant body, not anyone elses.  But I'm just saying that I can understand their frustration.

[pertykitty]

this was a waste of a post. someone might have a question and not get to ask it because there are only so mnay allowed per day. lets not open a new post to voice an opinion when we could state that in the previous thread.

[pertykitty]

AND to someone that smokes pot and keeps it at their house when they have kids, its a risk of cps taking them away. so THAT  makes a mother that is risking losing her kids for what? pot? EXACTLY!

[On baby #3]

I agree. I waited a long time to have this third baby. But it so happened that i smoked in the meantime. I was trying for 2 years so in between you have to live. some girls got drunk some girls partied what ever you do b4 you are prego is your own thing. Now to anyone who smokes weed or cigs, it takes a day to maybe a week to get yourself off of it when u find out u prego. NOW the reason in MY case that it tooka day or so to stop was becasue when your body is used to smoething and u rip it away u have a hard time. In MY case i would rather just ween myself off than be so ridicoulsy stressed out that THAT may hurt the baby. it is hard to explain to anyone who doesnt smoke. OF COURSE i care about my baby. I worry about EVERYTHING even tho this is my 3rd baby i worry about things like it was my first but Im human and I had to stop a bad habit that I had. Now if the girl continues to smoke than she is wrong. I agree but my advice to her is NOW that u know and u heard our opinions then stop.  

[jd1419]

I read your post (you got to live) as you said between the pg's.  There is a difference in living and having fun or living and doing illegal substances.  UNless you live somewhere that it is legal--you are putting yourself and children at risk if you get caught.  Live a great life but live it legally.

[Wooly25]

I have a good friend and they really believe that her sil smoked pot or did some form of drug while pregnant.  We know that she smoked cigs.  Anyways the baby has major problems.  she has a trache that won't be removed (maybe ever) and has major structural problems.  The list goes on and on.  It's sad to see that little girl has to suffer so much.  It's just not worth it, it's not like you need it, so just stop.  Smoking cigs is dangerous enough with a baby, what would make you think that smoking pot, would be OK.  I also know a family that lost there kids to drugs, they were taken away from them.  Those kids will remember that and they are not getting good role models would you want your babies to grow up and smoke pot because mommy did.  Kids are starting earlier and earlier, before you know it they are going to be smoking at 5, if we don't show them that smoking anything pot or cigs is not safe or healthy.  I hope you make the right choice if not, well, I just hope the baby doesn't have to pay for your mistakes.

[mslkpage]

Just because you can come up with a SMALL sample of women who's children appear to be okay despite the fact that their mothers use drugs, it doesn't mean there are no adverse effects. I know someone who drank until their 4 month of pregnancy and her son appears fine. I work with a probationer who smoked crack throughout the first trimester, and her DD appears okay for now, but you never know. And if you're using drugs while actively TTC'ing, then your priorities are just f*cked up.

Nice waste of a thread, BTW.

[wantthisbaby]

you know i am 25 years old on my first pregnancy.. And i was so glad i found this site that i could talk to other women about anything and not be judged. but look at all of you who are judging these women, sickening that you sit up there on your pedistals only to be moved to judge. pathetic!!!!!!!!!!!!! I dont smoke or drink.. but i cant knock anyone that chooses that.....

[nanis]

I still stand for the comment I made on the other thread.I do not appologise & am more discusted for this new thred.I understand your asking a question SO WHAT! I think doing any sort of drug is stupid.Especially if your preg.How are you going to teach your kids whats right & wrong if you dont have a clue? I suggest you both STOP excusing it.And instead of using other people(who really) have med-problems threads.go to your nearest hospital & just check out the newborns born with drugs in their system.And if that alone does not make YOU quit,you dont (in my opinon) deserve to be a mother.

[vsentz]

Ok, here's what I gotta say: not just because you 'have to live' between TTC'ing and getting pregnant means that you party like an idiot, drink, smoke...and do stupid things, there's a point in time when you do that, you're young and yeah, stupid!, and NOT ready for a baby....when you settle down, IS when you decide to start a family....i guess what i am trying to say is that, not drinking, smoking (pot or any other nasty sh*t out there to burn) not necessarily means you are 'not living life'!!!, and if that's what life means to you, then i think you need to think about certain other priorities and issues to fix in YOUR life before creating another one. Living is MUCH MORE than that!!!!
At least for me fun is a WIDE variety of things!! like taking my dog for a walk, smelling the fresh morning dew on a saturday in my yard..., seeing my mother smile or hearing my dad and my dh sing...., there is MUCH MORE to life than smoking people!! and BTW if you can't give up shoving toxines down your throat, how can you expect to be able to sacrifice yourself for a child????
There....do whatever you want anyway, it's your life, not mine.

[nanis]

Vsentz,Hi mama!! How are you? MUA ((hugs))***

[vsentz]

Oh and by the way....hey Lisa and Comadre!! ahahaha xoxoxo

[On baby #3]

Thank you!! that is what I think!  None of us know each other so STOP JUDGING. so what if I smoke NOT around my kids then I am a bad mom but one of you may beat your kids and that makes u good? I am actually to the point to say **** it and not come on here again since you bring up a topic and everyone jumps down your throat about it!!! I was just commenting because I felt bad the girl that you all bashed and now you badhed my comment to. AND IT IS NOT A WASTE OF A THREAD IF IT IS IMPORTANT TO SOMEONE OUT THERE. so forget it. good luck to EVERYONE and thier pregnancies but I am not going to come here and share my thoughts if they just BASHED. thanks a lot ladies

[On baby #3]

one other thing if to the one person who said her SIL had to do drugs for her baby to be ill. that can happen to anyone DOESNT HAVE TO BE DRUG REALTED dont accuse of her **** you dont even know


and know your facts CIGGERETTES have more checmicals so does alchohal that WEED. WEED is an HERB and babies with withdrawl problems are from crack and **** like that you people have me so angry right now.

[pertykitty]

hey i cant believe some of you think its ok to talk about what you have to say, and those of us that voice our opinion (its still ok to do that in the states!!) you get pissed. its because you dont like to hear the truth, you live in denial. judge, maybe, but anyone who says they NEVER have judged, they are liars. if you were in the store and saw a mom smack her kid or give them sips of their beer in a restaurant, what do you think you would say? you would be judgmental. so how is it different just because the baby isnt in the world yet outside the womb?? there is no winning this battle.

[nanis]

WTF???? About the WEED being herb,tell that to the judge.See ya!

[pertykitty]

so weed is natural. weed is blah blah blah. you are angry because we dont agree with smoking it? what has been said here is that it isnt safe for the baby. and smoking it with the kids around isnt smart. pot is illegal. it can land you in jail, lose a job, lose your kids. some people shouldnt reproduce.

[pertykitty]

and my guess is with your attitude and anger, you still smoke it.

[vsentz]

OHHH MY GOD pertykitty!!! i am the one that's gonna lose my job because of you!!! i was just about to spit my tea all over my computer!!!!! holly cr**!  now that's funny!

Ok, so if you smoke weed....does that make you a 'hippie tree hugger???' so, now it turns out that you are better than greenpeace for smoking pot??? ....now someone is on crack....besides pot.....


Yo mama!!!!!!!!!!!!! how are you doing today comadre!??

here!!! have some *passes the joint* ;)

[On baby #3]

no my anger would be because you say go look in the hospital at the babies on drugs THAT IS CRACK< COKE< ALCOHAL (alcohol) not weed TRUST ME. u may live a perfect world but I live in Philadelphia where nothingis pretty and we have a lot of things to face and cant just smell the roses in our yard as one girl said. My anger is becasue we are suppose to help other girls on here but all you do is make people feel like ****. like i said I stopped smoking now that i am pregnant but that is really none of your business. So does that u are  aperfect mom probably not. but no one is sitten here blastin you. The first girls post didnt say HELP I am addicted to drugs a nd pregnant! it said hey has anyone experienced this... does anyone know if the one or two hits i took will hurt the baby? she didnt ask to be blasted on how bad a person she is. the real drug addicts probably aint even on this site. so thats where my anger comes from. you are probably some rich lady sitten home without a care in the world in her suburb home and maybe you never were faced with drugs or problems of the city but guess what they exsist and if this girl came on to aska question i bet none of your answers that made her felt like **** helped.

[anxiousmomtobe?]

It's an illegal substance and no pregnant woman has any right to subject her child to something that science says is harmful.

It makes me sick.  Here I am worrying about taking a vaccine and there are young women glibly talking about drugs and alcohol while pregnant.  Grow up, be a parent.  That means acting like a responsible productive member of society.

to all the mums who kicked the habit for their babies, I applaud you.  I know it must have been hard but you are doing the right thing for your unborn child.

[mslkpage]

Public forum, people...deal with it.

And as someone who works with drug offenders day in and day out, I have to say there are effects on these children. Justify it to yourself, but arguing that other drugs are worse is kind of weak- they're all bad. Cigarettes, alcohol, marijuana, crack, meth... You can't say that using pot is "better" than using anything else.

That's like saying that beating your kid with your fist is better than using a belt- they're both wrong.

[CYW]

I have a little comment on WEED...It used to be a natural product. If you are not growing it yourself and what not then it is in no way natural. I remember the stuff a guy I baby sat for at the time put in there. Javex, Hertel, Rat poisoning, hair  spray omg the list goes on. I think personally if weed was natural I highly doubt it would have a big impact on people. I remember people that were buying from this guy i was babysitting at the time kept saying oh ladida i know what the tastes like etc etc but little did they know it's what they were hooked on I mean I guess it's safe to just drink of bottle of javex or another form of substance. Alot of people who grow nowdays and mix different things in there do not know what they are doing and can be hurting others.

It's like my dad says...Pot used to be just pot u barely got high off of it but now days you're on this whole new high...

I don't agree with drinking or doing drugs with pregnancy nor smoking but those are my views.

#3, honey I don't think people were trying to bash YOU, people are just angry at the fact that some people do that and maybe how you posted it may have seemed as though you said it WAS okay to do.

Imean whatever you do on your own time is your thing and anyone else who does as well. I am a child and youth worker and am in canada and here well I work with the children's aid society-also known as child protective services; if a child is a risk-which means the parents are always too busy smoking dope and all to take care of their kids thats a problem. Once the kids are in bed or are away for a weekend and you get high out of your cucoon thats your thing..You know what I mean?

I don't think we should all be discussing parenting as a whole because who is to say what is the best parenting? It's a learning experience and we all do the best with it.

It's like i was told, because my bf doesn't want to be in the room when I deliever because he doesn't like blood and is afraid of is and will pass out-and my mom might not be able to make it in time because if her boss is out of town-she cannot close the store-things like that-but i have great supports that will be there with me UNTIL it happens and if it does im not alone. But someone had told me, without naming any names, that I should put my baby up for adoption because i didn't have support-e.g bf/mom at the time. I bawled ladies I seriously did. But just because my mom cannot make it there on time and my bf doesn't want to be in the room while the baby is born does that make me a bad mother to be? I sure don't think so-so in that sense I think you all do the best with what you have...

I don't agree with marijuana or ANY illegal drugs for that matter AND I don't smoke-but some do and I'm not going to lecture anyone about stopping either-I choose to not smoke-even thought i never smoked a day in my life and I choose to not drink-even though I wasnt much of a drinker to start off with before being pregnant.

I agree with some things and I don't agree with others- I don't think that anyone was trying to be rude and judge #3 or the other girl, she asked a question and she got a response. Which mainly is to think of your child-just because we disagree with something someone says or does, does that mean we're still not there to support them? I highly doubt that because this site is amazing and all you ladies are wonderful regardless:)

[vsentz]

Dear belive me, I have NO perfect life!!!! I have BEEN THRU HE** AND BACK in the past few years!!!!! do I act like a coward and go take the easy route out of it getting all high smoking pot-crack-whatever the heck you may burn!!??? HE** NO!!! I pick my groggy self up and my pride is bigger than anything else!! I seeked proffesional help, got my bony a** out of my depression and with my chin up high I am getting back to enjoy life!!! ....do not have roses in your back yard? ...go get them at walmart.......
I don't care how important your beloved drugs (or nicotine) are for you, your child gets HARMED!!!! period! if you shove toxins down your throat (very unnecessary to begin with) you WILL harm your baby one way or the other.

[sk2006a]

rock on, milk.

hi vsentz!  

my SIL adopted a crack baby.  you probably can figure out what i would have to say, but why bother?  i think everyone already - deep down - knows what's the right thing to do.  some are just really adept at justifying their lifestyle choices.

[vsentz]

sk2006a!!!! Hey girlie!!!!!!! what's going on!?
So happy to see you!!!! ;))

[NataliesMommy]

I have to say a few things.  I am not here to judge anyone.  When I read your comments about someone being some rich woman sitting around and your other comment about not being able to stop and smell the roses because you live in Philly, I have to say this.  I grew up in a upper/middle class area and the rich folks are doing as much if not more drugs than the lower income people.     They can afford it and drugs are a problem everywhere, no matter what someones financial situation is.  Second, with the money you spend on weed, you can go to your local supermarket and buy a few pretty roses for your home and smell them anytime you want.  Might make you feel better too.  Congrats on your baby and I hope after you give birth, you will not go back to the pot.  

[deanne11]

I just wanted to say first off congrats on kicking the habit for your baby.  I also wanted to say (about the previous poster and smoking pot), I do think it is without question the most absurd thing someone could ask on a medical forum with all the information out there and that is provided by drs and even free prenatal clinics....it's not okay for you or your baby.

(Has anyone listened to Ozzy Osborne talk recently - effects of pot over and over)

Look, I’m not rich as you say and I DO live in Philadelphia (which by the way is beautiful – the most beautiful city in the world – and I’ve lived in several), I've dealt with drugs/alcohol problems and my brother being institutionalized for drugs (all kinds) for about 4 years.

I do my best as a Christian not to judge people for what they do to themselves…however what people who choose to do to their children is my business as I’ve worked in it for so many years and my family has fostered so many children.

I’m not judging her nor you for your situations are unique to each of you but you have to understand everyone’s hostility over this.  Many of us are treating our bodies like the temples GOD intended; for the hope of one day delivering just one healthy baby and to hear women say, yeah I did this and I did that and my baby was fine is heartbreaking for the rest of us.

I lost 3 babies last year all the while consuming only the best and to hear that other people can abuse their bodies and their babies in uetero is disturbing to someone who is having a difficult time carrying to term.

Just playing devils advocate.

[CYW]

I totally agree with alot you have to say. This is my first pregnancy and I wasjust talking to my mom about this the other day, bawling my eyes out, talking to my bf too.

If you've read my posts I've been diagnosed with Chlamydia which now has beena  week since taking the treatment-i get tested on the 13th-and i also have bacterial vaginosis.(i got the Chlamydia from bf from his past relationship about a year ago)

This is what I was talking to my mom about how some people sleep around random people get pregnant and just hurt their bodies and their children and they end up with perfectly healthy babies but people who dont do ANYTHING wrong and just end up having the most amazing children but they have all kinds of health issues.

I've bawled to my bf a few nights ago because all the meds I have to take and the docs say it doesn't affect the baby and it's safe but the baby is still getting it and yet i have NO choice but to take it-So I was so angry at the world that night that i was bawling and bawling and said the most horrible thing and omg I think i would die if I lost this baby-(I said i should prolly just have an abortion-OMG I bawled and regreted what i said after hearing myself-I would never do that)
I mean I said ah freak people F%$# all kinds of nasty people and blah blah and  drink, get drunk and do excessive drugs and they have healthy babies but people like you and me just want a healthy baby-just one! And now that you posted that it made me realize just how precious life is, especially when it's out of love with someone else for making a little being that you both share-it's unconditional...I still don't understand how some people can do that:(

[vsentz]

Here's a good example of what you might end up being like with 'some' drugs:

Brittney Spears.....



i HOPE from the bottom of my heart, and for the wellbeing of her kids she gets back on track.....but i honestly wouldn't be surprised if we hear about a second 'Anna Nicole Smith' case......

just as a reflexion......you might not like what people say to you (or whoever smokes) in this forum and run away, but the fact is: is part of a support system, supporting doesn't mean sugar coating a wrong act that affects innocent babies. No dear, we are not gonna tell you 'yes, we agree, weed won't harm your baby. Now run like the wind to get your pot cuz the store is gonna close soon....'. Hope you (or anyone doing drugs while pg, or smoking) get it.....

[deanne11]

You'll be fine.  The dr would not give you anything that could harm your baby....but I understand the tears.  I had to have xrays done at 9-11weeks and major oral surgery....I was a wreck, bawling...threw stuff at a dentist thinking he was hurting my baby....lol

Hormones....My little girl is fine.  Beautiful 8.2lb baby who is now 2 and half and a little terror at times.

I just feel bad that people don't know or don't WANT to know the facts.  I have family who had years of pot smoking....you should hear them talk....it's like horrible.  I don't know how to explain it but I've lived it so no one can 'snow' me on what rich people do and what inner city people do...I've seen all sides, and we've foster children from all sides.

I pray for you a lot and hope all goes well for you and this little baby of yours...are you going to find out what you are having?

[deanne11]

You are so 'in your face'....I love it!
I wish I could be more like that.....

[vsentz]

LOL!!!! OMG!.....im sorry, i just get so 'disturbed' when i see sh*t like that!!! YOU out of anyone knows what is like to go thru the pain of miscarring, and hoping to become a mother one day, and nothing....yet you feel like you turn your face to your left and right and here's 'mothers' popping out of nowhere doing THIS!! is unbelievable!......
One big downfault (or gift???) i have is a HUGE mouth! hahaha oops!
Anyway! girl! how's your pregnancy going????????? Have you heard your baby's hb??
=)

[CYW]

I plan on fostering children after having my own family-What would you say are some positive as well as negative experiences in fostering children? I mean I'd like to foster between 9-12 because everyones just given up on them and it's sad-they need that love and nurture their parents just were unable to provide.

I hear yah about the whole things ehat you've seen and what not. I have an uncle who is an EXCESSIVE drug user. Fireballs(cocaine with heroine) AND another who apparently had custody of his second daughter because CAS took the child away from mom because mom all she did was smoke pot in front of her kids-he now has custody but is not in any better shape-he's plastered all the time and is into drugs as well and well the family is FIGHTING for custody of that little girl because my dad's family was put into foster care and have lived a hell. Some live great lives but some are treated so horribly and so hence why it interests me.. any words of wisdom-I'm soo young lol

[deanne11]

Yeah - I've noticed a lot of these...can I do this and that post....I've been concerned...but try and keep in mind not everyone on here is in the US and I don't know what laws are like elsewhere...but regardless....I don't care what people say it's harmful.

I did see the hb on Friday at 5w5d but...very big but....I haven't been doing well the past 2 days.  And I'm trying to stay positive but the cramps have gotten so bad!!!  Not sure I'm going to make it.

It saddens me, if I lose this one...that makes 4.  I just can't do it again.  At least for a long long time.  Then to come on and see this garbage....I'm just in a bad place right now.

Always thinking of you...I saw you may be getting a HSG?

[CYW]

I have seen the heartbeat 2 weeks ago when i was at the ER because of bleeding and automatically they assumed I was young(20) and i was into drugs/drinking/or spousal abuse.. i laughed and told them no lol...I felt horrible that they thought that way of me because I'm younger...well all in all cant be as young as what i saw when I was just starting out in college.. Was at the transit and saw a young imean VERY young girl full blown(pregnant) and i asked her how old she was she said she just turned 11. I was shocked-so i immidiately asked if she had supports etc-which she did and that was a relief-innocent child "experimenting" and got pregnant...:(

I havemt heart the HB yet-how far along are you? I am 13week 5 days..my doc said not till 18-22 weeks:S

[cantwait4baby]

The person who posted the inital question has not even commented to anyone.  I replied in a comment on her orignal post but everyone knows she is going to do what she wants.  I would just hope that no-matter who you are you can put your baby first.  Like I said before - I recoved from 2 surgeries without ever even considering the pain I was in or asking for any relief.  My baby became more important to me then my own self, happiness, health, etc. the day that test came out positive.  To most of us that is normal to some it is not.  I have family members who did a lot of drugs while pregnant and I had a m/c go figure.  I am now 30 weeks and I dont care if someone offered me a million dollars just to take one hit I wouldn't.  oh and I live in Philadelphia and I can guarantee it is worse then where anyone else may live.  I grew up in Grays Ferry - google it.  and I never did drugs.  I live in a better area of PHiladelphia now and I still see the drugs.  It does not matter where you live or who you know it is your personality that makes you do what you do.  I did not judge that woman and I still am not judging her - I hope she makes the right decisions for her baby and moves on to have a happy life.  She was asking for advice - as sick as it may sound to some of us - we should support her like everyone else on here - that baby in her belly needs all of us.  She was just asking a question.

[deanne11]

foster care is hard.  at any age.  my family fostered many with medical conditions....some were even part of extended family that were adopted or fostered by other parts of the family....etc.

dh and i may foster someday, especially since we are having a hard time having our own children now....but the emotional strain.  especially when they find permanent homes or when it just doesn't work and they come back for them, the older kids sometimes have power struggles and if they get out of hand or in trouble to many times it's tough on the family unit.

we've had both good and bad experiences....you need to do a lot of homework on it before hand.  it's not something you go into lightly....just for the greater good.  and you are so young....you just worry about you and your new baby

i lived through it and still don't know if i want to do it with my family.

[deanne11]

I live in Philly too....but I think it is the most wonderful city in the world.

[vsentz]

Deanne, I know exactly what you mean......unfortunately, is hard to separate certain feelings (for most of all) of frustration with TTC'ing and with immature attitudes from people.
Anyway, have you gone to a doctor's check up??? did they say anything about it? are you bleeding????? i know it's not gonna even touch your soul if i say 'try to relax', cuz i wouldn't, but would you be more settled if you ask for a second opinion?? Wish you lots of good!!!!

CY-- Hey!! it's so good to hear you have heard a hb!!!! the day i hear one I will FLIP OUT in tears of joy!
No, i am not pregnant....(or like some people would say: pregnate, hahaha) but, that is not just yet...;)

Yes, i am having my HSG done tomorrow, i am a little anxious, but anything means nothing compared to the real pain of infertility....so, here i go again.....=)

Take care you two!!!!

[jenniferolivebridge]

i have two things to say:

1. some people do stupid things when they are pregnant and end up with perfectly healthy kids and some do not, please tell me why anyone would ever want to take the chance??? its just pure stupidity to put an innocent child's life in danger.

2. If the place you live is such a terrible place that leads you to do drugs, why the H*** would you want to bring a child into that??

some people just dont make sense.

[deanne11]

Thanks for the thoughts.  I am trying to relax.  I am not seeing the same drs as my other m/c's so technically it is a 2nd opinion.  Dr is more 'high risk' and I'll be seeing both drs during my pregnancy.

DH is handling everything...he's so good to me...and my car died yesterday...oh what fun...always something, ya know?

GOOD LUCK TOMORROW!!!!  Many happy thoughts and prayers....please tell me how it went if you feel up to logging on.

[cantwait4baby]

Hi Deanne, Thats right I do remember you saying that before.  I like it much better now that I got out of where I grew up - it was pretty bad and I work in the city which I enjoy.

How are you feeling?  Did you have your first OB yet?  What hospital in the city did you deliver your DD?  My hospital is closing its maternity on May 30th.  I am due May 6th so I just make it.

[On baby #3]

Saying **** like the Anna Nicole comment is what makes me find u to be a stuck up *****. If I just told u i stopped smoking where the **** do u get off saying some ignorant **** like that? i will NEVER Come back on here because of YOU. some support- tell people thier gonna end up dead like anna nicole who did a hell of a lot more drugs than weed. I said my peace. YOUR A ***** i will take my thoughts somewhere else.

[mslkpage]

And yet another dramatic exit...

[vsentz]

hahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh my! thank you! i needed a good laugh!!!

Oh, here's a saying that I LOOOOOVE!!! and applies to 'situations' like this:
'you call me b*tch like it's a bad thing'....
I JUST LOVE it!!!

Oh...wait....am i supposed to feel bad because of this crack head leaving??? oh.....ooops!

Anyway, i recommend a good anti-aging and anti-wrinkle cream for your face dear....with this hissy fits your gonna get a lot of them....(if you haven't already) ;) Loreal is a good brand (for stuck ups like me, anyway...)


steping out of dramaland.....
Thanks Deanne!! I appreciate your good thoughts!!! ya know, they help a looooot! =)

[low22]

O...M....G!  Take that, V!  Just read your post -- good luck at your appointment tomorrow!  Let me know how it goes, -k-.  Love ya!

[vsentz]

AAWWEEEEEEEE my girlie!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how are you sweetie?? I miss ya already and it's been like 2 days since we talked?? hahahaha I will! i promise I will shoot an e-mail to my girls tomorrow as soon as I can (or feel better anyway) cuz I am sure im gonna be waddling like a mad cow....but hey, on the bright side, i'll be glowing in the dark!!! dh will find me easier!!! =))
Love ya!!!!!

[chellybeans]

this is almost humorous at this point. in a disturbing fashion. i have a friend. after she delivered her son i found out she had smoked weed the whole time she was pregnant. he has chronic illnesses. she got pregnant again and said she was not smoking anymore. her daughter was born sick. my friend tested positive for weed. she ate right, took her vitamins and did everything by the book, (the what to expect when you're expecting book to be exact)except that she smoked weed a couple times a week the whole time. she denied doing it so we would not judge her and only admitted it when the doctor confronted her about her blood work at the hospital in front of us.

both children are chronically ill. ear infections, digestive issues, asthma and more. the son recently tested with behavioral health and developmental issues. the mom is and has stayed healthy. but her three year old speaks in one word spurts. her daughter cries incessantly.

the doctor said that could be related to the marijuana smoking. that's a chance i would never be willing to take with someone elses life. NEVER.

congratulations on stopping. please don't start back up. i know you said you're gone but i am sure you're hanging out reading. you can reduce the risks by sticking to your guns and not going back to pot. saltines help, ginger helps, the doctor even wrote me a prescription for my morning sickness when i was pregnant.

there is no buzz better than holding that perfect baby in your arms and knowing that you are the reason he/she is here and healthy.

[deanne11]

I lived in AZ 3 years ago...then came back....so I delivered DD out there.

Wish I could help.

[vsentz]

AMEN!

[ImmortalOne]

I admittedly only scanned over the posts here.  And something that did concern me was the judgementalism that was posted.  This is a forum for us to come together and find others whom we can talk to openly and frankly.

There is no "norm" that is acceptable for everyone, there is only what we perceive as the social "norm" which we feel we can accept.  However, everyone has different lives.  We all live differently.  What is right for one person is not right for another and so forth.  Also, remember, that just because someone is doing something we don't agree with, or is illegal, we were not put on this earth to make judgement.  We were placed here to help others that we meet, to live our lives to the fullest, and simply to experience life to the fullest.

"It is illegal", so what?  Are you a police officer?  Are you a judge in a court?  Do you have that person in your handcuffs or in your jail?  No.  If people told you that alcohol was illegal what would you do?  Well, what happened in the era of prohibition is that it got worse and a lot of people died for it.  And for the record, Alcoholism is the only drug that when you "sober up" and "dry out" can actually kill you because of the withdrawl symptoms.  

There are a lot of things that we will disagree on, such as disciplining our children, on this forum.  However, we need to remember to RESPECT the opinions, thoughts, experiences and feelings of those that come to our community for whatever reason there is.

[projectbaby]

I just have to say that I am a mandated reporter for CPS and
this permits a call in to them.... THere should not be
any drugs in the house near the children (and if you are preggers
and smoking, you ARE harming your baby!!!- you might as well
hand your child a bowl!!!) and YES, pot is
illegal and harmful!!! End of Story!!! You should not take
pregnancy and children for granted!!!

[mslkpage]

Yes, some of us are police officers. I'm not a judge, but I do work for the court system. As far as this forum goes, I could care less what these women do when they're not pg or TTC. But I will state my opinion when the same ladies admit having to taper off their drug use in early pregnancy, or using it to help with morning sickness.

My character and sense of ethics is not just limited to my job- it applies to my personal life as well. When this subject comes up, I'll speak my opinion whether it comes across as supportive or not.

[ImmortalOne]

Mandated to report to CPS?  So, you are a teacher or a health care worker of some kind?  I was under the impression that you could only report suspected abuse of children you physically see or witness.  

Let's not get into the CPS debate and why they are so "wonderful" please.  Because I am certain my opinions wouldn't be welcomed here on that, since no one else seems to be able to RESPECT others.

[mslkpage]

No, abuse does not have to be witnessed before it can be reported. How would most sexual abuse cases come to light if that were the case?  

[projectbaby]

Thank you mlskpage!!!!  That is why I can call it in....it is then CPS's
job to investigate further!!! It is my duty to protect
ALL children!!!

[pertykitty]

wow!! people are free to do what they want, we are just voicing our opinions. this thread is full of people (ok just a few:) that believe they live in a world that causes them to behave in a certain way. sure when we are teens we are influenced by things that are wrong. but as we grow older, and decide to procreate, we know the difference. the angry ones , they use. i know and have family members and friends that have been alcoholic, crack and meth addicts, heroin. dont tell me i dont know what its like. i also have seen people realize that they are a product of their will. change, live life for their children and not just for their selfish pleasure. i am not rich (i sure wish) am my life has not been a bed of roses. i have made my mistakes and a mile high. one thing we have to remember, our kids mimic us. if we feel its fine to use, they will too. immortalone, you seem to not be bothered by things that are illegal. does that mean you would steal? park in a handicap spot when you not? your actions will catch up with you. and it will probably be your child at school caught smoking pot in the bathroom with a pint of JD in his/her locker. dont be so sure it wont!im sure you will bash me again, but your point will be invalid and show your education, or lack of.

[azgirl1016]

grll some people r ignorant....and funy @ the same time...i dont c anything wrong with it ..every body has an opinion...some of them r worthless some of them help  .sum people needs to get a life!!lol sory ima a b somtimes.its not our fault some people have a hard problem concieving...my doctor knew about it and asked me to tone it down...we could go on 4 hours bout this but it wont make a difference sooo ya kno

[azgirl1016]

cps ...lol blahh blahh ya tell them the screen name! ....u guyz should b watchn ur kids instead of posting so many dam comments.....lol

[mslkpage]

^^^^^^ And that right there, ladies, speaks volumes. Don't do drugs unless you're cool with coming across as a complete idiot.

[ImmortalOne]

Who is doing the drugs?  The person who might not have the proper English skills to be posting full thoughts like you would like them to?  

Threatening to contact CPS on someone you don't even know, who for all you know is 12 years old themselves, or a CPS worker, or for that matter not even in our country, is really ignorant.  It is an empty threat and very unneeded.  If you are such a crusader of protecting children, perhaps you should start walking through the poor neighborhoods, and actually worrying about children of crack mothers (amongst other things).  As for "sexual abuse", yes it is witnessed.  It is witnessed by the acts, and reactions, of the child.  You cannot determine **** without knowing what you are talking about.  I'd really like to see how you intend to report a screen name, yeah I.P.'s are traceable, but do you honestly think that a non-lawenforcement group such as CPS really is going to give a damn about someone mentioning a few tokes of a joint?  If they did then they are failing 10 children for the single 1 you are sending them hunting for.  

[Mertek]

In my humble opinion the original poster opened themself wide up for public comment when she opened up a brand new thread about smoking pot around her children.

How can you not have an opinion about this? There is a large difference between a support forum (someone losing a baby or having serious medical questions) vs. some nut job smoking pot and posting about it. And nutjob applies whether they are a 12 year old making this **** up or some hapless soul in Philly smoking her troubles away.

Either way, the original poster should grow up and take charge of their life instead of falling back on the crutch and blaming everyone else for their "issues".

There is no justification for the original poster. ZERO.

[sk2006a]

oops - you just missed her.  she's made the typical damatic exit.

vsentz - i miss talking to you!  good luck at your appointment tomorrow!

[Wooly25]

All I have to say is I feel so sorry for all those babies who never had a chance.  And when the mother feels like she failed her child, when the child is either sent to a group home and has to wear diapers for the rest of their life and be hooked up on machines, or they struggle badly in life because they mentally can't comprehend everyday things.  That is her punishment, and I hope she never is able to forget it and forever feels bad until the day she dies.  Your not hurting only your baby your hurting God's child, a gift that he let you choice how to raise, and to cherish.  I just hope that those kids that do know what their mother and fathers even did or does, will grow up to fight for a drug free world, and will be strong enough emotionally and mentally to make a difference and overcome their horrible past.  I had family that did drugs and committed alot of spousal abuse over it,plus alot of other crime to support the habit.  It made me sick and I have never and will never touch drugs, cigs, and am very responsible if I ever consume alcohol.  Drugs of any kind are just so not worth it whether your 15 or 50.  You can lose everything you have worked so hard for in life in seconds, and will forever have a record that will haunt you.  It will ruin your reputation with others.  Some will say "OH those people were never my real friends or family", but deep down after they are all gone and your alone you will see what all you lost for that high.  Life isn't all rainbows and flowers, and if it was it would be boring and dull.  The world is a beautiful place and would be much better if we all worked harder on cleaning up the crime rates, instead of just getting high and adding to them.  It's a vicious circle (yeah some areas are poor/rich and drug ridden), but if we all keep smoking pot or doing other drugs, do you honestly think that things will get better, no the cycle will just continue.  Someday they will come up with a better detection system that will stop it, but until then it's just will-power, and the threat of losing the life you've work so hard for.  That should be enough to keep a person clean, but sadly they just have one person in mind themselves not their family or babies.  Do what you want but if you lose everything or screw up a life of your baby don't come here and cry that your sorry, because it's to late, and you have to live with your choices good or bad.  

[mslkpage]

Okay, lemme spell it out for you- she wasn't saying she would turn in the poster for using marijuana. Projectbaby was stating that this kind of behavior is something she would be required to report. And that is because it can be considered negelectful supervision. Of course she's not going to turn in someone from a freakin' message board!!

[vsentz]

Susan! thanks girl!.....shoot me an e-mail! just add: at..rmshanover.com, ok? I'll let you guys know the results as soon as i get back....*big hugs*

Alright, if we are living in a 'free' world/country...and will not follow certain rules and laws....then why in the HELL where they created for in the first place, right? then why be part of a society when we can do what ever the cr*p we may please.....right? because, rules, anyway, were created just to bug the sh*t out of people, and not to prevent unfairness, injustice, and to defend those who are innocent.
Dear, if alcohol would be prohibited, in that moment I will not consume it! period!!! one, because it would be prohibited FOR A REASON....(in case you need to explanation, this is JUST an example....;)), and two, because I am PART of this society, and I chose to live in this country, and if i am NOT gonna follow the rules and laws made for it, then I might as well GET THE HELL out of here since I am not worth living and being part of a comunity. That's what jails were made for.

You are getting a little mixed up with 'free' and 'licentiousness'.....(google it up ;))

[PGB]

Hey!!  Know what this reminds me of?  My kids when they do something that they know is wrong.  When they get busted and get grounded from their tv, playstations, etc. they start trying to justify WHY they did it.  And how it's really not that bad, cause someone else did something "worse."  LOL

[Mertek]

Don't you remember, they came up with that Inspector Gadget computer program that lets you ID people on internet forums now, so you can turn people in now. HA!

[mslkpage]

PB&J- Yes, that's what I noticed too. Instead of admitting that it's just wrong to do during pregnancy, they're pointing out that alcohol and crack are worse. Well, no sh*t!! But we're not talking about alcohol and crack. If someone wants to start advocating crack use in pregnancy, then we'll discuss it!

Mertek- Aha!! I forgot about the Inspector Gadget program that comes with a free Gadget spy ring!! That must be what projectbaby was referring to.

[pertykitty]

ohhhhhhhh i want a shoe that is also a phone!! and what did the girls fingernail do??

[vsentz]

pertykitty, you just have to be careful with the phone shoe..........it gives me badbreath......

[Mertek]

The shoe also has another use. You can use it to beat sense into someone. Perhaps buy the lug sole version so you only need to whack the person once or twice

"Pot smoking around children is bad. Drugs are bad."

[vsentz]

Becca, i have some nice platform ones......(im size 10).....but for the looks of it, not even with sky-shoes here....

[vsentz]

sorry ski.....
darn....it's contagious

[sk2006a]

LOL just make sure you don't use a stiletto shoe phone.  ouch!

[1stTimer]

wow. this thread has shown inconsistent train of thought and a lot of anger. my dh is a medical user and I have to say I see nothing wrong with it in that sense. I do see something wrong with disrespect and bashing of any person who speaks honestly. the sad thing is I will probably be the next target for "defending" any pregnant user. I miscarried last year and am now 19 weeks, do not even take aspirin while I am pregnant, nor morning sickness pills, or anything like that. I have a b.a and m.a., I am 25 WELL educated and have life experience to boot. I live in so-cal and have seen many people I know make choices I would not make and maybe do not agree with while pregnant. Christianity teaches love the sinner and hate the sin. PLease stop the haha's, anger, judgment, and comparisons that only degrade and disparage a person. I try and think would I want to be that baby. The answer may be "no", but speaking your peace does not mean disrespect until you feel like you are a better person than those you are judging. Judge not lest ye be judged Ladies. No one is perfect. I came to this forum for support during and after my miscarriage. I would hate to think it just becomes a chat room for a select few who think of themselves as worthy while the rest of us search for another support forum. Peace!

[julia241]

I am not advocating the use of drugs during pregnancy, but we cannot judge those who do.  All of you who are freikin out about pregnant mothers, and after pregancy mothers, have never smoked and read too much, and don't know how to think for themselves.  I advise you to smoke a joint.  

I have been working with infants and toddlers under 5 years old in Special Education for almost 10 years.  I am the person who writes reports about a child's 'developmental functioning'.  I work with many drug exposed kids, exposed to all kinds of drugs.  There is no rule.  Not every kid exposed to crack has developmental problems.  SOme do.  I really think in the future, they will find that different women metabolize drugs differently when they are pregnant.  

Just so you know, babies exposed to crack are typically removed from their bio parents at birth,  if there is a positive tox screen (blood test reveals drug exposure at birth), they are put in 'the system', going to foster parents.  Those affected, may have stiff legs and have difficultites in self-regulation first 1-2 years of life.  If they are in a good home with caring parents, these symptoms are gone by age 2.  I also remember working with a child whose mother was a homeless crack addict.  This child, at 30 months, was the smartest in the class.  THe only symptom that reminded us that she was homeless, was that she was a voracious eater.  

There are many many idiots providing developmental services to children.  People who don't use common sense.  Many of whom read the child's history of 'drug exposure', and then any symptom of drug exposure (in toddlers, reduced attention, difficutly in self-regulation) and attribute these symptoms to the drug exposure.  As these professionals often do not work with typically developing toddlers, they don't realize that NO 2 year old has good attention skills.  So, you see, all you judgemental people, YOU are the ones who are labeling and messing with these childrens' lives.  

Everyone is different, and of course, we don;'t want to gamble, when pregnant, with the health of the baby.  BUt just because you won't eat an amaretto chocolate, doesn't mean its bad.  That's your hormones talking.  But let's not judge people.  We don't have enough info to do this.  And those who are concerned with it being legal, please give me a break, and learn to think for your own self, its quite liberating.  Don't let the government think for you.  

Do you know how strong the drugs are they give you when you are giving birth?   A lot stronger than weed.  I have never, in 10 years, met a child whose mother smoked weed (quite a lot, to come up in a tox screen at birth) have developmental delays because of that.  That doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

LIVE AND LET LIVE!!!!  Send the message to your new babies that GOD IS LOVE, and love leaves no room for judgement.  

[mami1323]

Was there a reason to go into the archives and pull a post that is a year old and comment on it?  We have enough drama on these posts that we don't need to stir up another post about the effects of drugs during pregnancy.  

[Kim1989]

yes there WAS a reason to go up in teh archives and pull out this post....

to start drama! duhh

[mami1323]

Oh that's right...my bad!!!