why am i being so horrid to my partner through this misscarige

i am going through a misscarige at the moment and i dont have any one to talk to but him, i know he is also upset but he doesnt understand that i cant just jump back to being normal , im angry and sad and i was so nasty to him last night , i dont mean to be it just comes out as angry words and im realy hurting him and i hate myself,

[waitingwithhope]

Men are different because they are usually less attached to a pregnancy like a woman is because it is not happening in their body. Plus, men are brought up to be stoic and strong and not show emotion. They are "problem solvers" so he probably just wants to solve the problem (which would be him encouraging you to get over it and keep going). The rough time you are going through is normal and I'd encourage you to seek out support from other women who have gone through it. It is a loss of not only a pregnancy but a dream. Women have already planned their life out around the new little one to come, they're planning names, the nursery, the whole thing whereas men tend to be less involved until the baby is born. You are needing to just get your emotions out- let him know that. And, when you have a m/c, there are a ton of hormones lingering around and it does make one angry, teary-eyed and frustrated. Let him know too that you don't mean to hurt him but that you are going to be hormonal and he doesn't need to "solve" the problem but support you- just even with a hug. If you give him concrete things he can do, that will help. When I m/c, I told my hubby I needed hugs and he was more than willing to do that.

[Steph_b]

Sorry you are going through this touch time.  I think it's part of the healing process.  I went through the same thing after my m/c.  I would snap on anyone, especially my partner.  I knew it wasn't his fault, but sometimes I just needed to be alone and it was easier to fight with him than to talk to him.  I think men heal very differently than women do.  Things will get better as more time passes.

[waitingwithhope]

Men are different because they are usually less attached to a pregnancy like a woman is because it is not happening in their body. Plus, men are brought up to be stoic and strong and not show emotion. They are "problem solvers" so he probably just wants to solve the problem (which would be him encouraging you to get over it and keep going). The rough time you are going through is normal and I'd encourage you to seek out support from other women who have gone through it. It is a loss of not only a pregnancy but a dream. Women have already planned their life out around the new little one to come, they're planning names, the nursery, the whole thing whereas men tend to be less involved until the baby is born. You are needing to just get your emotions out- let him know that. And, when you have a m/c, there are a ton of hormones lingering around and it does make one angry, teary-eyed and frustrated. Let him know too that you don't mean to hurt him but that you are going to be hormonal and he doesn't need to "solve" the problem but support you- just even with a hug. If you give him concrete things he can do, that will help. When I m/c, I told my hubby I needed hugs and he was more than willing to do that.