I am curious to know how may of you ended up pregnant while using the withdrawal method. I have been reading more and more that it is not that effective even if your partner pulls out before he ejaculates.
I have actually read in a magazine that the pre-stuff contains a higher concentration of sperm...of course it is not shooting up or out, so they usually don't make it...But many women on here can tell you, it is not a reliable means of birth control...and it is possible to get pregnant this way!
I am thinking of my sister, who got pregnant two times, expecting that withdrawal would prevent it.
Several things trouble me about trying to use this as a way to prevent pregnancy:
The first is that it is not natural -- a guy's deep impulse when he feels he is about to ejaculate is to push in, not pull out. You are counting on him to do something against his impulse at the very moment when people don't have full control of themselves. This is even more difficult on an occasion when he might have had something to drink. Also, it is not very fun to have to stop right before an orgasm comes, for either him or probably for you either, unless you have already had yours. (And how fair is that, really?) I think it's hard on a person to have to ignore their basic sexual timing, especially over a long period of time if this is the way a couple is trying to prevent pregnancy over a period of months or even years.
The second has been discussed on this forum a lot. The pre-ejaculate (liquid lubricating the penis before ejaculation, and sometimes as soon as an erection) is not necessarily full of sperm, but some recent studies are reputed to say it doesn't have sperm in it. But after the guy ejaculates once, if you keep going and he hasn't gone to the bathroom (or a lot of time hasn't elapsed), he can have live spermies in the tube that come out in the pre-ejaculate, and that is there at the beginning.
The third reason is that it is hard to be sure ejaculate won't come into contact with the woman's secretions, which (at least during your ovulatory time of the month) are specially designed to welcome the ejaculate in. So if you are really excited and, say, have some secretions on your upper leg near your vagina, and he pulls out but ejaculates near you and some of it comes into contact, then the spermies (great little swimmers that they are) might readily find a pathway in. And that's the subtle way; there is also snuggling after, or fingering after, and other ways his spermies can come into contact with your helpful vaginal secretions after ejaculation.
Also, if you are counting on this, you are saying you don't practice safe sex. In a totally monogamous relationship, that is OK, especially if it would be OK if you did get pregnant. But in a relationship where you aren't sure how monogamous your partner has been, it's Russian Roulette. There are annoying things you can catch, dangerous things you can catch, and there is pregnancy too.
Finally, I am kind of distressed when people use the words "withdrawal" and "method" together. There are actual methods of birth control that work, and you hear the word "method" about something that depends on human perfection (and might not even work then) it's misleading. I think of 17-year-olds who have vaguely heard about the "withdrawal method" and think it really is as reliable as other things that are called methods.
This all said, one woman has written on this site that she and her husband relied on it for three years and it worked for her. My response is that maybe it was the withdrawing, and maybe it was something else, such as their timing in relation to her ovulation, or maybe it was even just luck. It works poorly for most people.
Good luck, honey, whatever method you do decide to use.
I would rather were a condom.Think about it,Personally I would rather finish & not worry about preg. than finish pull-out & be worried the rest of the mon.I know you can't compare natural to condem but hey.I cant ttc till jan due to ectopic,use condems & still get freaked out when its AF time.If you think that pull-out is a form of bc.Then be ready for BFT.(smiles)..nanis
I have to say, WELL SAID! Oh and are you free for a sex ed talk to my child in say...14 years??? lol it is due in June 07 so I think 14 will be a good age....sorry dont mean to joke at a time like this but it was said rather well.
One of my friends got pregnant using the withdrawal method but she had been doing it for about a year and was shocked to find out she was pregnant but now has a beautiful baby girl doesnt use the withdrawal system now just condoms which arent always safe either as I got pregnant on them.
Hello, ladies, and thanks for your kind words; I hate to think of the lousy information teenagers get about birth control (such as, some girls think that if they don't orgasm they can't get pregnant) and the grief and panic it can cause (not to mention larger dangers) if they have gone along with bad information some early adolescent pal has told them. You don't hear so much about the (so called) rhythym "method" any more (my mother got pregnant five times using the 'rhythym method' as her contraception of choice) but you sure hear a lot of women on this forum saying "we have been using the withdrawal method," as though it really is an official method. It seems like we mommies, and daddies too, need to tell both our sons and daughters at whatever age, what they can understand about human sexuality, pregnancy and how it happens, the consequences (especially today) of taking things too casually, and teach both our boys and girls to respect the decision not to, as much as they toss around the decision to, indulge. It seems so sad to hear phrases like "friends with benefits." That is the worst way to look at sex, and so many teenagers try to handle it like that.
Goodness! That is what I was gonna say! I know one thing, you always know exactly what to say and how to say it! Well said!
ps...I agree totally with what was said about the "withdrawl (withdrawal) method"
Well i thought that was an ok thing to do.. then I got preg with my daughter.. so that was ok.. i was on the pill .. ran out .. n jus was so busy never made it to the doctor .. but he was tryin to be safer then he ever was.. since thats how my daughter was brought here.. and again.. i got pregnant and had my son .. so two babies on that method n we thought he was doin a GREAT job . apparently not .. n if u dont want to get preg.. u better get on some real bc or i can guarantee you it will happen
Hi, hon, I didn't think you were a teen or unmarried either. I just was thinking about where young women's information does (or usually doesn't) come from, and why the poor darlings don't have access to clear info, and when the ladies were teasing me about giving a sex-ed lecture to their daughters, it started me on the topic of teenaged bad information. I had a friend in grad school who was at least 29, if not in her 30s, who was amazed when I casually compared the size of the uterus to a pear and the vagina to a toilet-paper roll, flattened, and commented on the angles at which they sit in the body. She had been married for years and nobody had ever told her any of that, not her health-ed classes, not her doctor.
I got off my BCP in March and my DH and I have been using withdrawal as a round-about way to concieve (conceive). We don't want to go crazy charting and stressing over the science project ttc can become, so we're willing to take the greater chance the withdrawal method gets us. Still nothing though... :-/ How much longer?!
if ur ttc why dont he just leave it in, theres more chances for u to conceive that way....no one call tell when withdrawal or if withdrawal will get u pregnant. chances are great it can but no one can gurantee that for you.
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