Potty training

  My child (son) is 3yrs old.  Will be 4 in April 99-  We have still yet to get him fully potty trained. He will urinate in the potty, and never 'pees' in the bed or his pants.. But the other.. he absolutely refuses to do.. on occasion, if I set there with him long enough, reading books, playing, for 1/2hr or more at times.. he will go.. but he tells me its going to hurt.  he's never had any problem with constipation or anything.  We can set there for 1/2 and nothing, yet 5-10 mins after we get up, he will go hide and go in his pants. I've tried taking him once an hour to see if we can just catch it at the right time, but still he will wait until we get up from the potty and go hide to do it.   Im afraid to punish him for not doing it, or for going in his pants - like some relatives tell me to do.  I dont want to damage him in any way mentally on the idea of goin potty.. Im at a loss as to what to do.  I also know that children do things at different ages.  Any suggestions?

[HFHS.RN-AM]

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Thank you for your question. You received some very good advice from other moms. Resistance to toilet training is frustrating, and can consume entire households. It sounds as though your son has no organic pathology going on as he is able to hide and stool in his pants. I take it he doesn't complain of pain when he goes behind the couch!    One of the first things to do is look at his diet. Increase his fluid intake and decrease the amount of carbohydrates, in particular junk food, increase the amount of fiber and bulk (fruits and veggies!), and daily, have him drink 8 oz. of undiluted apple, prune, or pineapple juice. These are natural laxatives. Metamucil and laxatives should be reserved for children in whom dietary measures don't work. Continue giving lots of positive reinforcement with praise and encouragement, and assure him that all his goog, healthy eating will make it so it wont hurt. If these measures don't work, you need to discuss further management with your pediatrician. Good luck - you are doing things right!
HFHS.RN-AM
*KEYWORD: encoparesis, constipation, toilet training