Venting and whinning

I am writing this post for a couple of reasons.. someone earlier started a thread on what really is a true friend.. got me to trhinking about a couple of things.. a friend of ours from med help is having a hard time right now with pain control. if this person wants you all to know who it is they will tell you all.. i dont think it is my place to say, anyways they wrote a comment the other day about how ythey were having many problems with pain and other things mewdically going on, so i pm'd them and told them if there was anything i coulkd do let me know, well i got a pm from them to day explaining what they were going thru and then apoligized for whinning too much .. well as far as i am concerned we all need at times  to vent and whine.. most of us here experience severe pain at times and some times even meds dont help. now i know we know each other just by chatting on a computer.. but we are freinds.. so i am asking everybody and i am 99 % sure that most already do, when someone needs to vent or whine we all listen try to give the best advice we can and try to brighten their day the best we can.. so what i guess i am really trying to say is.. WE ALL NEED TO VENT AND WHINE IT'S GOOD FOR THE SOUL. so everyone be tolerable and put yourself in the others persons pain and see what you would want to do.....thaqnks for listening... god i wish i could type better

[HelpinUtah]

You do just fine on the typing besides you're words are awesome!  Although I don't know who this person is, I will say prayers for them!  I do consider people here as my friends.  Some of us have shared things with each other that we don't even share with our closest friends in the real world.  So, I agree!  Great post!  

[alienshadow]

I lend an ear all the time. You are right I find myself venting sometimes especially while I was on the prednisone my god thats a bad drug to be on! Anyway Most know I am always here for them and I will continue to be

[Tuckamore]

The person Jolly was talking about is me!!  I try not to whine or complain. I want to be here for all those that need me so I try not to verbalize my pain. I don't want anyone to feel that they can't complain to me because I have so much pain myself.
Jolly has been singing and I missed it. I was off MH a few days due to the severe pain flare. When I came back I asked him to sing for me. He is wonderful.
All those at MH give me strength to make it through each day. You all are so special, wonderful and caring ppl. I rarely need to vent because you all help me by just being here. I'm here for you all too.
(((HUGS))) to all, Tuck

[jollyman069]

Amen Tuck i think most of us feel that way about you and the people here at Med Help

[selmaS]

I agree 100%.....and if someone has apologized to me for venting I always say the same thing...."it is in giving that we recieve" so in listening to u....I am also being helped.....either it's by helping u or learning something from the experience.

medhelp is great because we can vent and we know that the people we vent to understand.

thanks jolly!

Godspeed
"selma"

[lagoya]

i  have not spoken to you before i dont think anyways so i will say hello -sorry to see u are in so much pain and dont feel guillty for venting to your friends thats what in here is sometimes about by the sounds of it above u give a lot or your time yourself ,,so if there is something we can do to cheer u up ,,just say
i hope u feel better today

nice post jollyman

[LetaB]

  Venting? Did somebody say my name? We are commonly misunderstood, highly passionate people. It has done me a world of good to hear the voices of other like minds - like minds? When did I ever think I'd be able to say that? I appreciate the people in this forum no end.

  p.s. I hate to sound stupid but....I see you two members are not physically close - what is meant by "singing"?

[Cherie762]

this froum  helps all of us by being able to complain to others who understand, the adverage persons in my life dont really get what its like to hurt for an extended period of time, and I think they get sick of hearin it,on here I have found 6 real good friends that I tell my little secrets too and its helped me so mush, in return Ive had people thank me for helping them I love this web site.

[Tuckamore]

You don't sound stupid. Jolly posts a few lines of old classic rock music every day. We all think he's "singing"  specifically just to us......LOL  I'd tell you he sings to me. But every other member would tell you that he sings just for them. No one really knows...we just listen....LOL
Tuck

[jollyman069]

thank god they really cant hear me sing.. well they may join me in the shower so that couldnt be all bad could it?? well coud it???...lmao

[sobermommy]

I was so blessed when I found MH. I truely thought I was all alone and the only one going through the wierdness that is my world. Here I found so many people who are going through or have been through the same. It is such a huge relief just to know I am not alone. Yes...we all have days we need to vent and whine. This is an amazing site where you can vent when you need to...and offer advice and support when you are able. I love it. I am pretty new to the social site but am finding it very friendly. Thanks to all of you for that. Keep up the great work of being there for each other...it is awesome. God bless...Lynn

[kitty51]

well i can only lend one ear cos the other one is deaf!! Tuck is a real good chook and she has her pain issues and still takes care of those that need it,I would like to see tuck be better to herself as well (are you listening Tuck?)
Hard that theres a shower party at Jollys house!!
Now to see that happen,just thinking about it  LMAO X 10
My typing isnt so good either,I have to correct my spelling before i post!! this problem in my head has buggared my co ordination and spelling.One of these days i am just going to type and see if anyone can work it out.by the way hold that thought about Jolly's party........Still LMAO

[hrt3105]

bless you Jolly, an I hope you get to feeling better Tuck , I dont think we should call it venting or whining anymore, maybe just sharing with our freinds  
Mark

[lonewolf07]

I hope you do vent.  Right now the emotional pain I feel is overwhelming.  If you feel like that I hope you vent and heal.

Maybe emotional pain doesn't count - I don't know but it does hurt me.  Tuck, if you feel pain but don't show it - I admire your strength .... but I still hope you vent.

Hugs to you if you want them

wolf

[mommy52]

I feel like I spend most of my time out in the world apoligizing to others. On MH. I am able to see that others are also in pain. I do not see them as whinning. I see it as a part of   coping /dealing with the pain. My spouse does not understand the pain I feel. The emotional and the physical pain. Until I discovered MH, and to this date, I do not know how I I discovered it. Most of the times I don't feel like I belong. I will sit -read and listen. I have gained so much strength from the people I have read their posts. I read and feel their pain. If they can continue to reach out to others in their pain, I say -- I can make it and can go through 1 more day. My family says I am addicted to MH.  Sometimes and most nights, I will be up til early am hours when I can'tsleep, gaining strength from others. Do I make sense. Thanks to all who are out there for us.  

[LetaB]

  And it's whining, folks, not whinning. You see the double consonant before the "ing" would cancel out the long vowel sound....HEY! I'm an English major! - can you see why people hate me? Sigh

[mommy52]

Apoligize. Can't do anything right, not even spell. Sorry

[LetaB]

  Ah gee, I didn't mean to make you feel bad! Forgive me. I spell pretty well and suck at things you wouldn't believe! I was 12 when I finally learned how to tell time - thank god for digital!

[jollyman069]

hell i am 47 and still cant tell time or spell very good..bad skooling....lmao

[alienshadow]

If it wasnt for the software I have   I would spell like this

YoU gUyS oR tHe VeRy BeStEs !!!!!!!!! GlAd i FoUnD MeDhElP cUz ThErEs GrEaT pEoPle HeRe
DaM mY eYeS aRe HuRtlInG

[lonewolf07]

If being addicted to MH because it helps with your pain then I would think it's a good addiction - no drugs to wean off from.  If you find the right people - good people - you'll get a lot of support that meds or even therapy can't give you.  It might take awhile but you will find them.

I've been here since March 2008 and still don't feel like I belong.

[alikat1205]

you are cracking me up.  i was an english major and went on to law school.... and i hate to admit but the spelling errors jump out at me - it's hard to let it go! (but i forgive the misspellers, believe me, it's the sentiment i am reading!)  funny, too, i had the same problem with telling time -- i just could not do it until near the end of middle school.

[lonewolf07]

I've spent years in academics too and don't know what I'd do without a good spell check.  I've seen some really funny "mis-spellings" but MH would delete me if I wrote them down  = )

[kitty51]

To all you clever buuars out there centre is not a mistake in Australia i know you guys write funny LOL center? meter/metre oh yeah theres English and there English/American!! Every thing else I stuff up naturally~~~~~~~~

[kitty51]

that buuars was a big oops (buggars) SEE WHAT I MEAN  LOL

[cowgirlnerd]

Don't worry - I do the same thing with spelling and if I make a spelling mistake after I enter a post, it drives me insane.  I actually look for items that are mis-spelled in news articles, etc.,  not to be critical - just a little oddity - kind of like a word find game for the nerd in me.  Lately though I am losing short term memory and it's hard to spell - REALLY!  Weird.   Supposedly, it's a Lamictal side effect.

Anyway!

We all vent - we all "whine", and trust me - we are all better for it.  

Hey - English Major - I had the COOLEST English teacher from the 6th throug 8th grade.  She taught us our "Being" verbs by singing the Frere Jacques son - I will never forget that (I hope), so I don't know if you are teacher, but they do make a huge difference.  "Is am are, was were be being been....."  

[mommy52]

Does Lamictal have side effects? What is stress. When I was Dx with PH, my MD told me to avoid stress. I asked him what was stress. I had heard of it. Can you catch it or how do you get it. He asked me if I was serious and I laughed and told him no. Same for the Lamictal. Is it what is causing problems with memory? Thought and still wonder if I have big "A". Cowgirl, bless you. I honestly I had something else going on. When I tell MD bout increasing problems with memory he adds meds. My PCP tolad me last week wasn't going to add Aricept or Namends just now, changed Effexor xr 3oo to Pristiq 50.
Last night thoughts rambled (now too?) and was in a big panic state. Don't think this is forum for me to discuss- Sorry  I do know Lamictal has side effects. Terminated from job 6 weeks ago .Lamictal amd other drugs ? interaction between 2? Think I'll post for MD if site for this question----Does anyone know? Bless each for allowing me to vent. My response to my misspelling whining- well sorry if inapropriate---was down and out in Ga. bad evening and night and has carried over into today. If allowed, need to discuss. Again if not right forum, please direct me. Will appreciate your help. :-0)

[sobermommy]

The spelling conversation is great. I too make mistakes and realize that we all do. I have to say I found it pretty funny when a certain MH member chose to respond in a nasty way to a poster on another forum. When she chose to tell this young girl how "stupit" she was...and her choices were even "stupiter"...I couldn't help but think it made a big statement about herself. LMAO

[MJIthewriter]

I couldn't agree more with your post about being able to vent whenever one is feeling down. No one should have to hold back their true feelings because of fear of being judged. After all this is what this site is intended for, is to be brutally honest with oneself where they are and exactly where they are strugling with their life.  In reality one usually keeps these things secret because of fear they will be treated differently.  Tyhat's what makes being online different. One can be honest about their problems and seek support from friends.  Then another nice thing is once the problem is resolved or passed, then you can remove the journal or set it to private.  I've done that and seen my progression, things I've struggled with then and where I am now.
--------------------------------

But I have to be honest with everyone here. There are some people and you know who you are who haven't allowed yourselves to put judgement aside and help me when I was really feeling down and struggling with depression/hypomania/ and negative drug interactions.

As a result I no longer feel safe sharing my personal feelings on medhelp.  It pains me as I write this, but it is true.  But that is just me. It's alright for anyone else to share their thoughts and depression, but when I talk about my hurt, then I'm accused of really nasty things.  But I guess that's okay with everyone else.  So I now filter what I write about and hope that in the future that people won't pass judgement on me.

[MJIthewriter]

To add to that I make typos because I type faster than my fingers can coordinate, so I do not make many comments on people's typing errors or spelling.

[RJ233]

I'm glad to know that Lamictal does that. I thought I was losing it!, lost it, I don't know it went somewhere. If I read directions I have to do what it says for 1., then do it, after I read it one more time. Then I try 2.-----------, then I am tired trying to think so hard. Wonder if some added ingredients could make it work to forget what you don't want to remember, and remember what you don't want to forget. They need to work on that, it could help me a lot!

I've be stupit and stupiter!! Just ast me!

[MJIthewriter]

Also I believe each time someone is willing to share their innermost feelings, no matter how shameful they may feel about them, it helps people connect with them.  No one is truely as alone as they feel. No matter how bad someone may feel or how low they've been, or how misfit they feel, there is someone else out there with the same feeling.  The more open people are, the more it helps others know they are not alone.  In turn both people benefit, not just the person seeking support.


It doesn't always have to be advice people give.  Sometimes just saying "you are not alone"  I know someone who feels just like you" can do wonders or just speaking from personal experience.

If you're struggling with the same thing that you see on someone's journal, don't feel afraid to say so.  Even just saying you're struggling with the same issue helps.

Another thing: Don't be afraid to speak up. You may not have the exact experiences as the person you are reading about has, but if you feel you should say something simple like "I care", don't let that hold you back.
-------------

Before journals showed up on the sidebar, sometimes I made it my point to click on the people icon, because I knew there were journal entries. There were people sharing their experiences and theiur struggles. Often those would go unnoticed unless those people were "popular" or well known in a community.  If I felt compelled to I tried to say something to let them know I read their journal entry and that I care, even if I may not be able to offer much help.

If they weren't "joined" to any communities, I tried to encourage them to where I felt they'd find a place they'd belong.

I wish more people could do that.  Don't be afraid to speak up.

[ChitChatNine]

When friends apologize for whining I usually say, "You bring the Whine and I'll bring the Cheese!".  As long as its healthy support a person is looking for, I'm always there for them and I never, ever judge them.

C~

[kiddthekatt]

As for whining, geez I hold the record. I understand the pain,and the everlasting results from having a flare from hell and nothing, not even opiates help. MH has been a lifesaver for me. I was on another forum and we were not allowed to share email addresses, or anything private with one another. Nor could we disagree, and that really made me feel that as long as I agreed to everything that was being said, I would be allowed to stay.
So, I decided to say what was on my mind and sure enough, I was removed and blocked from the forum.
   You guys think you have it bad, I'm a journalism major, worked for a large newspaper for years, and my English is atrocious. I'm a Texan born and bred, and my college professors used to tel me to not open my mouth, just write what I have to say. Does that tell you anything>

gentle hugs
Angel

[Cherie762]

about the spelling, I agree with MJ, I can spell very well, I am usually on here at night typing in the dark so as not to wake my hubby( lap-top) so I make typos.

and again with mommy 52 I couldnt agree with you more, other people dont understand how we feel or they  get tired of hearing it, people on here get it, they understand the frustration, fear and pain that many of us feel.  Also what a vast amount of knowledge you people have, I have learned more here than I could begin to say.

[mommy52]

My problem is my brain rushes on and my fingers can't type that fast. I have to PECK. Sure you all haven't noticed how I go from one thing to another and at the end I don't know who or what I was commenting on or to. Try listening to me. Sis will stop me-"mat-stop right where you are-You've been going on for at least 5 mins and have been talking about a dozen things none of which I can remember. What's wrong with you. I tell her. "That's a sign of intelligence when your mouth can't keep up with your brain." She bought it for a while. :-0)  A little tidbit about spelling and I hope I don't offend anyone if there are any doctors out here. I tell the doctors I work with---Must have flunked spelling. Write so you can read the first few letters and then scribble. They laugh and agree must be so. I know nottrue-can spell just can't write legible. Can't remember the forum I'm on... but my head, OMG Is it the medicine? Should MD have kept on low dose Effexor XR  as I started on Prtstiq? Feels like a vacuum hose is hooked to head and sucking brains and everything out. Making me mean and extremely irritable. Then may be the discs. Back---- I can spell, but now I seem to not be able to remember. Sometimes when I write , doesn't even look like word. I've done enough dumping- whomever  is out there, thaks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!