Well after a little thought and consideration I've decided to start the problem/dilemma page (yes I know it's not a page as such) so if anyone as a problem (yeah I know who doesn't) or dilemma and would like to get some opinions and insight that could possibly help then here's the place to come.
I promise to be friendly,diplomatic and never to be rude or controversial although I will say what I think that could possibly help without using any lies.
I think that even if I or another help just one person it will be worth it.
If ofcourse you would like to ask me in my messages that's fine too.
I think men are sometimes wired differently to us women and sometimes it's not there fault the way in which they think but that's not to say that they should get away with things that upset you. Have you tried calmly explaining to him how his lies etc are making you feel? if so then he should have taken heed and stoped hurting you. If he doesn't then ask yourself are the things he hides so small as you say they are that they really don't matter, in the great scheme of things do they fade in comparison to the way he is the rest of the time? Does he treat you well and if it wasn't for the little lies would you be happy with him? I hope so. If it is just the little lies and I mean little lies that don't really matter (because if they are not so small and therefore do matter then I think that's a different problem altogether) then maybe he just needs to keep some things to himself as some people do, but I do understand how it can make you upset and cause conflict when someone close sometimes is secretive.
If you havn't done so already try talking to him and explain things calmly.
I hope that I have been of some help and that you can resolve any issues without getting too upset. Good luck.
You know where to find me if you want to discuss this or anything else,
from a friendly ear jazzoo.
how do i get my 12 year old not to procrastinate on homework, he will take 15 minutes to sharpen a pencil, need a drink, have to got to the bathroom, every excuse, then he does a few problems and finds excuses to leave the table again, itd be so much easier if he just sat down, busted butt and did it he wastes a lot of time.
I'm sure you already know that not many children like homework and I'm sure your 12 year old finds it borring. As long as you know that they are not having other problems and but for the procrastination their school work is otherwise good you could try the following:
1. As long as they have nothing important planned the homework should be done on the day it's given this way it shouldn't mount up and they can concentrate on that one piece instead of thinking about the other work that needs doing.
2. Try removing as many of those excuses as possible by asking them to use the bathroom before they start (although ofcourse if they do need to go again they should be allowed to, it's not good for the bladder otherwise lol), give them a small bottle of water to drink during their work(a bottle is better than a glass then there should be no spillages so long as they put the top back on after each drink) sharpen those pencils and do any thing else you think they use as an excuse. Doing all this should lessen the times they stop.
3. If it's possible maybe an incentive either weekly, fortnightly or monthly depending on the size or cost, keeping a record each time they do homework on how well you think they did. Dicuss the incentive with them and see what they think.
I hope this will help some but when it comes to children and especially when they get to the teens I'm sure you know they are not all the same and nothing is textbook.
Good luck and let me know how it works out, jazzoo
I've known children to be still using their hands a lot older than 2 so I really wouldn't worry. I would not push her into it as the more you push the longer she'll take, if you praise her when she does use the fork or spoon telling her what a big girl she is but then try not to make a fuss when she doesn't possibly even ignoring the fact and maybe with a little luck she might pick up on the attention she gets when she uses the cutlery and see how it pleases you if so she will start to do it more and more until one day you won't even notice she is doing it all the time with or without your praise.
I know it's not ideal and can get very messy with some food but what's the alternative possible tantrums and still using her hands? because most of the time there is just no reasoning with children so young.
I hope I've helped a little, keep us posted it would be interesting to know if it as worked atall, Good luck from jazzoo.
*hugs* to your reply back to me.
What an excellent reply you gave me to my question, thank you.
I do talk to him constantly about the wee lies he tells. He doesn't like me calling him a liar, obviously and he hates it more that I say I sense things.
He always goes" Oh, baby izn't da magjetical" creature she thinks she is.
But right there he is wrong, I have had things/ senses since I was a child and I am very strongly connected to him and I do know when he lies to me.
Fact he always scoffs it off bothers me just as much. I know he does it because he doesn't want me thinking something that mighten be fact so he hushes on it instead or outright bullshi.ts me.
I've got a question for you, if you are still doing this :)
I went on a job interview last Thursday and I thought it went really well. The lady who interviewed me said she had committed to interviewing people through this Monday and then she was done and she would call me at the beginning of this week. Well as of today, still no call. My husband and my Dad keep telling me to call her today. I've never done that, call somebody after doing an interview to see what they had decided, I guess I feel that isn't proper, or kind of "stalker-ish" and I don't want it to hurt my chances. My question to you, is should I call? Is that proper?
Send a thank you card. Tell the person who interviewed you thank you for her time. That's how I got my current job. Also by calling the interviewer after the interview it shows them you are still interested in the job and places your name in their mind.
If I were you I would call as you were told you would get a call at the begining of this week and havn't so far, I don't think it's "stalker-ish as it's for work. Maybe give them till 12pm lunch time tommorow at which time the begining of the week will be well and truly over, besides you calling should show them that you are keen, which is always a good thing in work.
I hope you get the job you want and I wish you goodluck, jazzoo
Lonleymom and Jazzoo:
Thank you both very much! I've been wondering if I should call or send that Thank-You note for days, you have both helped me so much and I appreciate it! I will send the thank-you card in the mail today and also call at lunch time tomorrow. I just hope it's not too late! Again, thank you, thank you, thank you, to both of you!!
I called her. I couldn't hold off any longer after your advice. She actually answered the phone, said she was covering for another girl who was at lunch. I thanked her for the interview and said it was a pleasure meeting her. She basically said that she was going to call a few people back for second interviews on Thursday or Friday, but she's been so busy and wasn't at her desk so she couldn't say off hand who those people we're. I have to say, to me, that it doesn't sound good. I do have a job now, I've worked for an attorney for over 13 years, but my husband got laid off and we lost our medical insurance and I've never had medical insurance at this job. I don't know why I'm so disappointed, I guess because I really liked this job, the place, the people. Oh well, on to the next one I guess.
Just wanted to give you an update and thank you again!
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