I am wondering in all honesty how many of us are snoopers, do you rifle through your teens rooms, look in spouses purse or wallet?
I go through my boys room when they seem to be troubled or if I have a suspion they are doing something they should not be I would never go in spouses wallet. I think on the teens part its justified I want to know exactly what they are up to. They do not know I snoop I work the problem into a conversation, and stuff like cigarettes or lighters just keep disapearing.
My children are all grown so I won't count them, but I have never been given a reason to snoop in my hubbys wallet, not once in 36 years. Nor does he go through my purse. I tell him time ater time to just dig in there and get what you need, but he flat refuses, says it could be dangerous.
We have custody of our oldest grandson, he's 14, but I would never violate his privacy either. He's a straight A student, plays sports etc. and he has never given us any reason to doubt him. He knows and understands the dangers of the internet, so he is very careful, his main thing is gossiping with his friends. Until he gives us reason, his privacy will be safe from us.
I dont have kids so no snooping there and as far as my DH no reason to! If we need something from each others stuff we just get it i dont have nothing to hide so i dont care if he gets in my purse or whatever and his wallet if i go the store by myself i just take the whole thing with me!!
Well, I cannot tell a lie. When I was married I would snoop in my now ex-husbands belongings. I was very insecure at the time, and did not trust him, however, that feeling turned out to be real, he was going to massage parlors and looking at all kinds of porn magazines. I do not have kids, just dog and cats, and I trust them.
The only time I did was with my daughter when she started going downhill and I was scared and wanting to protect and help her. I'm glad I did because we found something that made us get her into counseling immediately. That was 3 years ago and she's completely turned her life around to the point I am so proud of her and no longer feel it necessary to check up on her. Go with your instinct. If you feel something is wrong, it probably is. She has earned back our trust and is the beautiful, wonderful girl that I always knew was in there. Be a proactive parent and trust your instincts, that's all I can say.
Kids are grown, but when they were growing up, I didn't feel right going through things that didn't belong to me. We weren't without problems with them, but I don't think going through their things would have changed anything except maybe to make THEM distrust ME...
As for the hubby - no. We will have been married for 42 years in August and we didn't accomplish that by distrusting each other. We both did stupid stuff years ago, but snooping wouldn't have kept THAT from happening either.
There has to be trust or there isn't an honest relationship.
Barb135, If I hadn't gone through my daughter's things I wouldn't have found a suicide note and gotten her immediately into counseling. I will never regret getting involved. It didn't matter to me whether she didn't trust me at that time. She didn't trust anyone. She was a hurting child who needed help but didn't know it or know how to ask for it.
Today she's a different child. She has earned back our trust and I feel no need to go through her things. She has completely turned her life around and I couldn't be more proud.
I thank God that the good Lord directed me to go through her room that day and find what I did so that I could get her the help she needed.
I agree with you 100% my instinct told me my son was smoking and I hardly had to snoop it was as if I was driven right to the spot where his stash was..he had cigarettes and small amt of pot I took everthing and destroyed,,,confronted him,,ran pee tests every week,,Now hes on a different path..I say most moms got a strong instinct and go for it..I thank God you did,,and I know you do also...we should trust our instincts...not doing so can lead to tragedy..
No no need to ....if he wants some lolly he asks and he gest it from my purse, he never carries money uses credit cards...I never went through kids stuff either ...maybe I should have done , I think its sensible for parents to make sure what the kids see on PC and who they are texting/phoning so thats a good thing in my opinion ...
i dont have a reason to snooop through my DHs stuff hes never given me a reason to distrust him me on the other hand did something stupid once so he does check my facebook and all that every so often but i dont care I have nothing to hide from him if i did why would i tell his pc to remember my PWs?
I have and never would snoop in my hubby. He is an adult and there is that little thing called trust. Until he breaks it he has a right to his privacy. BUT!
As a mother and a provider of children and in charge of raising them to be responsible adults. Absolutely! Everything in that house is mine, including their rooms. I pay the house payment and provide for their every need and I have a right to know what is or is not going on under my roof. Privacy is something they get when they grow up and move out of my home. Unless they are paying the bills. By the way,they are all raised and gone now. I must say it worked very well. They survived.
My son is too young for me to snoop, however, once he's older I will. I wouldn't go through a journal or anything like that but I would watch what he does on the computer. Kids are so innocent sometimes and there are a lot of predators out there.
As for my fiance, well I used to snoop, because I had a reason to. He cheated and so I would snoop because I had suspected something. I snoop rarely now since we have worked on building trust and he's open to me going through his things. But I do feel like I'm an open book, you should be to.
I don't snoop on my bf, I have no reason to. We have each others passwords and all that, but I only use his password to help him with his farmville on facebook. lol. I trust him in that he'll tell me the truth about what ever is going on since I had been so pissed at him before for not saying some things. He's definitely learned his lesson.
Though my parents snoop on me! I have given them no reason to do so. I'm a good student, always done well in school, not into drugs or drinking, etc. Don't know why they do, it makes me mad that they don't trust me enough to back off. I'm glad they did when I was younger, but not now. They need to back off!
ha ha sweetpea they are just looking after you in their own way , but I agree once you are an adult perhaps they should let up...I was looking at the poll results and it looks like most do some kind of snooping so we are all at it ...one way or another .
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