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HELP! I BEG OF YOU!!
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HELP! I BEG OF YOU!!

Hi everyone... Or nobody, depending if someone reads this or not..... Anyway, what I am about to say has been really bothering me for a while, and I guess its not a major issue, but I don't know how much longer I can handle the thought...
Anyway, this is about the teachers at my school. I  went through a rough time last year where I had constant daily anxiety and it was getting pretty bad, so I had a chat to some teachers.. ALOT!! I felt like everytime I went to talk to a teacher, the attention and advice they gave me made me feel better and everything. So well I think I am may have gotten overly obsessed with talking to them, and now I feel like I have ruined their lives... I don't know why but I have this thing for teachers... When I can trust and know that they care about me and want to help, It's like I have suddenly grown so attached to them.  I have become so attached that sometimes when I see them walking by, it just gives me this feeling of disappointment. There are these particular two teachers that I am quite close to, and  I always tend to seek their attention. Like if I know they are in a particular room, I will purposely walk past that room just so they can see me. And I even sometimes get this sudden racing heart when I see them all of a sudden. It has been said to me on here on another question I posted related to this, that it is only me letting other people apart from my family into my life....
But it seems to be getting worse every time. Ii don't think I even want to see one of the teachers, because I feel overly embarrassed on how much of a nuisance I have been to them.
I am also afraid to see a counsellor about it, because I feel embarrassed and like it isn't even an issue... I have this silly thought in my head that I might be in love with them, and that's why I wont tell anyone about it. But then again, I am only a 14 year old girl, and they are women teachers, so that's little weird... I guess I always just think of the worst...
I feel like a complete idiot now, but I am still posting this because I need suggestions on what it might be, like if its normal. I mean missing the teachers that much? Is it normal?
HELP!!!!!!!1
I beg you someone help me...
12 Comments Post a Comment
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4059843_tn?1402216397
Oh and i forgot to mention, that my "attachment" to teachers began in primary school. At one stage i was bullied for a short time and i was always walking around the school alone, because i had no friends. So i think thats when my attention sort of went towards the teachers,and i would talk to them durig lunch or recess... and its been like that ever since.
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480448_tn?1403547723
What you feel toward teachers is a very common thing in young people.  I remember my 6th grade teacher, OH how I worshiped her.  I thought she was the most awesome human alive.  I wanted to please her, wanted her to just love me.  I would have married that woman had she asked.  LOL  Even at 41, thinking back about her, gives me a warm comforting feeling.  She was amazing and truly someone who made an impact on me.

So, yes, everything you describe is normal.  The only thing I would recommend (because I think it's totally great and healthy to have role models) is to just ease up a bit on the attention you're giving them (and in turn seeking).  I'm sure everyone who comes in contact thinks you're a perfectly lovely person, you don't have to work that hard to get people to notice you.  You may FEEL like you do, but you don't.  Just be yourself, be kind, courteous, and from time to time, let those wonderful teachers know what an impression they have made on you and how you've learned from them.

And don't be afraid to tell ANYTHING to your therapist, they have heard it all and they're there to help.  Just be yourself sweetie, quit thinking so hard, trying to plan your every move and analyzing everything.  It's life, it will change, it will surprise you, and some days, it will be predictable.  Just go with the flow.  It doesn't have to be this hard.  You're at an age where everything is confusing, stuck in between childhood and adulthood.  It's a weird time.  Enjoy your peers and your family.  Before you know it, you'll be an adult, and life isn't nearly as easy and nearly as fun when you get there!

Take care!!
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4059843_tn?1402216397
hehehe Wow thanks so much. I thought it was completely out of the ordinary, but seeing others have the same feeling, I guess its not. The thing was though, that I just love them so much. I get jealous on the fact that they have family, and also when I see them talking to other students. Maybe I do have to ease up on it all, its just really hard though... The counsellor I used to see told me the same thing, that it was normal in young people, but my case was just exaggerated.
Now I try to tell myself that I have a good enough relationship with them already, and that they like me... And I don't have to be in tears or talking to them 24/7 for them to like me.
Thank you so much. *hugs you*. You have no idea how much you have helped me. :) :) I feel a lot more relaxed about it now... :) :)
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Avatar_f_tn
I agree with NURSE! Your feelings are perfectly normal! Being a teenager is hard enough without adding more unneeded stress to your life! Just enjoy being you and calm down a little! Everything will even out! you'll see! Im sure you are perfectly lovely!
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4059843_tn?1402216397
Awww thanks so much. Yeah i know I will try to calm down a little... Thanks. :) :)
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Avatar_f_tn
Any updates? Have things gotten better?
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4059843_tn?1402216397
Umm... no not really... I am trying to get over it or calm down, but I have my days where it gets to me a little too much... But its okay I guess...
I'm trying, its just that I keep thinking about them way too much! Like whenever I see a car that looks like theirs, I wonder if it is them.... and there are things everywhere that remind me of them. Sometimes it just gets to me I think...  :) :)
But thanks for the concern. It means a lot. :)
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4059843_tn?1402216397
Well now there is.. I went to see a school counsellor (about other things also) and I told her about it... She told me that whenever I start feeling anxious and start missing the teachers and want attention from them, I need to take a deep breath, and as I am exhaling I need to repeat a phrase slowly in my head. The one I like is 'I don't need this', or 'Let go'.... So I have been using that lately, but I think I have to do it a lot more before I start noticing major changes...
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Avatar_m_tn
Find a  church  close  by
Ask  Jesus  to  be  with you . Take  every thing to  the  Lord  in prayer  
Only God  can be  your  best  friend  and  a  comforter
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4059843_tn?1402216397
Yes your right. I was actually going to go to a youth group in two days... But something came up so I can't go anymore. But next time I guess.
thank you for the comment. :)
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Avatar_f_tn
How are things Marcy???  Just wanted to check on you
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4059843_tn?1402216397
Awww thank you so much... that is very kind! :) Well umm they're going fine I guess... I mean im on school holidays now and am slowly getting used to the teachers not being around... But it was really hard for a few days at the beginning, because I was sort of anxious and no matter what couldn't stop thinking about them......And I am realy close to one of them, and she gave me a Christmas card and gave me this little speech before we said goodbye and 'happy holidays' and all that. It made me feel so special and great, but at the same time sad because I was leaving, I felt like crying...
I'm trying to let go, and am constantly telling myself that I don't need them, and I guess it works every now and then.
This may sound stalker-ish but I remember her once telling me that she lives in Airport West (which is a shopping centre here in Melbourne, Australia), and everytime I here that shop, I automatically think of her.... I am even going there with my grandma tomorrow, and I have no doubt that the entire time we are there I will be looking around for a certain someone.. hhehee
But anyway, sorry you probably didn't want to hear all that... Anyway the bottom line is I'm trying. :)
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