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Avatar universal

Homeless! Is there a choice?

I was appalled at my sisters recent take on the Homeless in our country during a conversation over dinner the other day. She has no empathy at all, saying they brought it on themselves, could get a job if they wanted and has absolutely notta sympathy!

I on the other hand, agree that some choose this lifestyle but the majority have not. I do not understand how someone could get and keep a job when they cannot take a bath, iron a uniform, or pay a bus fare to and from. Am I being naive? We have homeless children who attend school and then back on the streets when school is over. I don't understand how this happens in America!

What say you?
16 Responses
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Avatar universal
i've been reading a lot on yahoo, watching cnn (greg watches it for news on the wars seeing as how he is inactive reserve marine now) and it baffles me how government officials can complain about their pay being below 100k, ceo's b!tching about how they have to sell one of their 5 or 6 cars or they can't go on their multi million dollar vacation while there are those people out there who don't have even a $1 to buy a double cheese burger at mcdonalds or are struggling to make the rent payment or have to put their children to bed with empty bellies. how is it that people who are supposed to care about this country and it's people can't even look further than themselves to see that there are those out there who could benefit from them taking a small pay cut. that they could build another homeless shelter, another soup kitchen or could find another way to help out those struggling families who can't afford to ...well live. i look around at those i know, my own family, and it breaks my heart that there is squat i can do to help them. (seeing as how greg has been out of work since he was discharged from the marines but still has a fall back of going back if need be) i'm lucky enough to have a roof over my head, a vehicle to get us from point a to point b, food on the table every night (even if it's just sandwiches or something simple like that) these things that on some days i take for granted until reality smacks me in the face and it's like oh sh!t. even now....bills pile up and you wonder...how will i pay for this? how can i pay the rent? how can i go grocery shopping? how will i get to work?

it's just a d@mn shame that those in power arn't doing more to help. that they're more worried about getting that pay raise, getting that bonus.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
DON'T WE ALL (Author Unknown)
> >
> > I was parked in front of the mall wiping off my car. I had just come
> > from the car wash and was waiting for my wife to get out of work.
> > Coming my way from across the parking lot was what society would
> > consider a bum. From the looks of him, he had no car, no home, no
> > clean clothes, and no money. There are times when you feel generous
> > but there are other times that you just don't want to be bothered.
> > This was one of those "don't want to be bothered times."
> >
> > "I hope he doesn't ask me for any money," I thought.
> >
> > He didn't.
> >
> > He came and sat on the curb in front of the bus stop but he didn't
> > look like he could have enough money to even ride the bus. After a few
>
> > minutes he spoke. "That's a very pretty car," he said. He was ragged
> > but he had an air of dignity around him. His scraggly blond beard keep
>
> > more than his face warm.
> >
> > I said, "thanks," and continued wiping off my car.
> >
> > He sat there quietly as I worked. The expected plea for money never
> > came. As the silence between us widened something inside said, "ask
> > him if he needs any help." I was sure that he would say "yes" but I
> > held true to the inner voice.
> >
> > "Do you need any help?" I asked.
> >
> > He answered in three simple but profound words that I shall never
> > forget. We often look for wisdom in great men and women. We expect it
> > from those of higher learning and accomplishments.
> >
> > I expected nothing but an outstretched grimy hand. He spoke the three
> > words that shook me.
> >
> > "Don't we all?" he said.
> >
> > I was feeling high and mighty, successful and important, above a bum
> > in the street, until those three words hit me like a twelve gauge
> > shotgun.
> >
> > Don't we all?
> >
> > I needed help. Maybe not for bus fare or a place to sleep, but I
> > needed help. I reached in my wallet and gave him not only enough for
> > bus fare, but enough to get a warm meal and shelter for the day.
> >
> > Those three little words still ring true. No matter how much you have,
>
> > no matter how much you have accomplished, you need help too. No matter
>
> > how little you have, no matter how loaded you are with problems, even
> > without money or a place to sleep, you can give help.
> >
> > Even if it's just a compliment, you can give that. You never know when
>
> > you may see someone that appears to have it all. They are waiting on
> > you to give them what they don't have. A different perspective on
> > life, a glimpse at something beautiful, a respite from daily chaos,
> > that only you through a torn world can see.
> >
> > Maybe the man was just a homeless stranger wandering the streets.
> >
> > Maybe he was more than that.
> >
> > Maybe he was sent by a power that is great and wise, to minister to a
> > soul too comfortable in themselves.
> >
> > Maybe God looked down, called an Angel, dressed him like a bum, then
> > said, "go minister to that man cleaning the car, that man needs help."
> >
> > Don't we all?
> >
> >
> >
>
>
>
>

Helpful - 0
362249 tn?1441315018
Absolutely no judgment passed here!! That's why I said i feel sorry for SOME people cus I know there are people out there that are not truly homeless or they waste the $$ on useless stuff!! And i know theres some that got tons of problems and just get stuck out there!!
Helpful - 0
585414 tn?1288941302
Well many of the people can't easily transition to the community on their own but they can live in the community with supportive and supported housing and sometimes its that the funding isn't always there and sometimes its that people don't want it in the neighborhood which if they thought it over is shooting themselves in the foot because if a person is in treatment and has a place to live the impact they have on society is far less than someone who is off treatment. Sometimes people need to think things through. Most community housing I've seen has been beneficial to the community overall and I've seen agencies find housing and treatment for people who were homeless and eventually as they stabilized they actually went back to work. On occassion for some aspects of this transition process I've been a part of that.
Helpful - 0
458072 tn?1291415186
ONe time when I would go to work I saw this man standing on the side of the road with a sign that said will work for food. So, one morning, on my way to work I decided I would take him some breakfast......He turned it down.  I said thats what I thought.  Even if he wasn't hungry at the time, he could have taken it for later.
He just wanted money and I bet it was not for food.

Now, I know not everyone out there does this, but that was my experience with this one person and that is what I am telling, so I don't want any comments about judging.
Helpful - 0
203342 tn?1328737207
I feel bad for them too. We actually don't seem to have many homeless in our city but we have more in the next city over, as it's a larger city.
My daughter's church youth group made a a lot of sack lunches one time and went to a park downtown, where there would most likely be the homeless, and handed them all out. They plan on doing that again.

I too, wonder about the people with the cardboard signs standing near traffic. Some of them look pretty young and healthy and it makes me wonder if they've tried finding a job or whether they're just looking for money for drugs or booze? I have given a few money but I'd rather give food. At least you know that's something good for them. If you give them money you just don't know what they'll spend it on.

We actually have a soup kitchen down town but there are those who won't go to the shelters, etc., preferring to sleep under the bridges, etc. I've been told that's because the shelters won't take you if you're drunk or high.
I think something does need to be done other than just feeding them. We need to help get them job training, maybe. There's got to be more we can do.
Helpful - 0
389974 tn?1331015242
Many of them are mentally ill. We used to have mental hospitals where they lived, but these all closed. Its probably good that they did -- the mental hospitals were not great places. On the other hand, when they closed nobody took the time to figure out what people really need.

Helpful - 0
219241 tn?1413537765
In these economic times of hardship, we have seen the demographic of homeless people change over the years. Having seen the big banks loan money to people who could not afford the repayments, but needed a place to live, and then them evict people for non-payment, makes me angry!
  Here in Australia we aren't too far behind your own economy. Many people and families now live in their cars, trying to find places to sleep at night. Our agencies resources have been cut by the government, who try to keep their own budget under control. Where I used to be able to get a bag of food for free if I was struggling on my disability pension, I can no longer do so. Where I used to be able to get free dental care, I now have to pay.
Rental home here are expensive, our wages are very, cost of living keeps rising. Rentals are hard to come by too. Many people in the late 90's and early 2000's bought houses basically falling down, renovated and sold on for huge profits. Back then the interest rates were quite good. So renovate, then rent and you can afford to pay back the mortgage on the renovated house. BUT that has all changed with interests rates rising, petrol prices out of control, food going up in price due to drought, water and council rates going up as well. People no longer can afford to buy a house and pay the mortgage. So they try to rent, but even then, rentals here are 3 times dearer now than an average mortgage repayment! So how do people who are average Joe Blow going to survive? Many don't. Many are now as I said, living in cars and still going to work, living in tents, and still going to work.
  If my friend did not help me out in the house I live in, I know full well I can not afford the $240 + rental a week on my lousy government pension. Where would I live then? Probably my car, with a tent at some caravan park way out of town.
    The economy needs to change, banks need to get their acts together and stop being so darn greedy, we need to change our thinking of the family gas guzzler, and bring on better family units where we help each other out. (Lord knows I don't get along with my family well, and I know they would not take my son and I in, no matter what. I have taken them in, in the past into my home. But people get selfish and want their own 'space'.)
  I find many people make an automatic judgement on people who are homeless, yet they go all soft and gooey when they see a stray cat or dog.  
So Teko, just accept your sister is naive to the ways of the world, and hope that it never happens to her. Those who judge usually fall the hardest in times of crises.
Helpful - 0
362249 tn?1441315018
i do feel sorry for some homeless people and since i dont know them personally i cannot judge them! Me myself though i just cannot imagine how u can wind up there i have struggled always but no matter what even if i had no car i would get up and walk however far it was 2 get 2 a job just to have a place 2 sleep and some $$ to get a lil food!!
the stories Heather was saying does remind me of the same thing theres a man and i know hes trulely homeless i have seen numerous times out by our interstate since at least '06! So anyway this man walks with his 3 dogs it may be 2 but he has more than 1 i know that well my DH and his Cuz were heading 2 work one day and they saw him at the gas station going through the trash looking 4 food well they had thrown a bag of corn dogs out my DH said rite away he took 1 out and handed it to the dog!! Not even himself first!! So my CIL pulled the car over and handed the man 20$$ to help him out!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
i think it is heartbreaking, but what bothers me the most is why?  why? not because i don't understand being one paycheck away, i completely do.  but what i don't understand is where is everyone's family?  if heaven forbid i even ended up in this situation, even if my parents didn't have much, they would offer me the floor of their room.  and i would do the same.  some people have no family, but is that most?  or friends?  or anyone?  if they do have family, why don't they help?  why are so many families so broken they wouldn't help one another?  this is a question all by itself.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Well, we got into a pretty heated discussion and my sister told me that she was offended that I had judged her for her opinions.  I told her she was terribly misinformed! lol  Sometimes I think I am only a paycheck away from living under a bridge and can understand how it happens to people. Even if they are addicts and drunks, my heart goes out to them, and when you see kids!  Wow!  I dont even have the words to describe how it makes me feel!  I agree that we ought to start caring for our own in front of other countries poor.
Helpful - 0
535822 tn?1443976780
i do feel sorry for some but not others, here in LA you do get a lot of Guys stand in the traffic with those boards and yes they do look high on something so its hard to feel sorry, especially as men you are with tell you ',ignore them thats why they do it ',if you didnt give them money they wouldnt hang out in the street..I get that all the time if I give anything. Its all sad,
Helpful - 0
637356 tn?1301924822
this subject really touches me because there has been so many times we have fallen behind i on mortgage. Not because we weren't working or was on drugs but because our paychecks weren't enough.

I tell the story all the time that the reason I went back to school was because an army recruit told me in high school when finding out I was engaged to my DH, said I would end up bare foot and pregnant scrambling eggs because I wouldn't have any money for food. Well the day came when I had two little ones at home and was pregnant with the third standing at the stove scrambling eggs because we didn't have anything else to eat and I had to feed my kids. I then knew I had to do something to help my DH. I went back to school and got my Associates degree.

Still with an AS in computers and DH working we still can't afford to pay everything and buy food because I can't find a full time job. We are faced with the possibilty of a foreclosure on our house and believe me it isn't a high mortgage we are just in that you make to much for help but not enough to make it range.  

I can fully see how some people end up homeless. When you work people look at you like why can't you make it you have a paycheck. This brings up another subject, why is it easier to get help if you are unemployeed but once you become employeed you can't get help? This is why so many stay unemployeed.
Helpful - 0
363281 tn?1643235611
I agree, some may choose this lifestyle, but by and large, I just don't think many do.

Lots of times, circumstances beyond a person's control can appear out of the blue, and there you are, penniless, with out a home, job, anything. With the job situation the way it is, it is darn right scary, and the prices of homes and such are NOT going down, they are going up if anything. In my tiny town of under 2000, there are so many foreclosures that the companies have had to add folks to take care of all of them.

I am blessed, I live at home with my dad and my fiance` helps me financially. If it were not for them, however, I very well could be one of those street people, and don't think for one minute that it does not scare me; that is the main reason I am going to start school this fall to be a Medical Assistant, at least I will have some education to fall back on, I am blessed that I get a full grant to pay for it.

So you see, it can happen to ANYONE, lots of us are only a step away. I am scared to be honest.
Helpful - 0
518031 tn?1295575374
I am sure like anything there are some who choose that life style...But getting a job is not that easy , at least one that pays enough to get  place and able to afford to live there

I lost my house, I ended up with kidney failure and on dialysis, was making between 60 and 70 k a year..on disability i was getting about 1600 a month.. had a 700 dollar mortage a month and with all the other bills I just couldnt keep up with everything, plus having 3 kids at home at the time.

i was lucky and didnt end up homeless, but I can see how and why it happens..I feel bad for your sister sounds like she has alot to learn aout life
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
i do feel bad for them and i wish the government would/could do more. (besides having a soup kitchen open once a week) however here in pittsburgh (and i'm sure it's like this in other cities) some of our homeless....arn't so homeless. a reporter followed a few of them over the course of a month or two and what he found out was after peddling the streets for a few hours in the evening they walked a few blocks to a parking garage. so he followed them to the parking garage expecting to find that they built a "home" there. nope. what did these "homeless" men do? one got into i do believe a bmw and the other a honda (i think i can't remember if those were the exact cars). so the reporter hurried to his car (which was 2 or 3 blocks away) found the "homeless men" in traffic and followed them. where did they pull up to? these enormous houses. so unless i see the homeless sleeping on the streets (which when i lived in pittsburgh and i was out with my roommates i did see) i don't really trust them. there were 2 homeless people i did see all the time. one was by an exes house. i was leaving his house early one morning and i heard something in the alley. i'm a curious person so i went to look. and digging through a dumpster was this little old lady who had a shopping cart. she had a kitten in the basket and she was looking for food for it. so that day after i got off work i bought a few bags of cat food, a few blankets and what not and some stuff for her and left it sitting next to the dumpster. i actually started to cry when i saw her face as she looked through it. the other was this middle aged man who i always saw downtown. he would be sitting on a bunch of old mats with this shaggy old dog. just sitting there. he never asked for money or anything. one night i was out with my roommates and it must have been about 3 am and i saw him laying in an alcove with his dog. it was cold so i expected to at least see him covered up. nope, he gave his only blanket to his dog to keep warm. so my roomies and i went out the next day bought a bunch of blankets and gave them to him along with whatever money we could scrap together (we were in college so it wasn't much).

ya know instead of trying to bring 3rd world countries out of poverty (which is nice) i think we (the USA) should probably look within and fix ourselves (the homeless and what not) before we can fix others. but that's just my opinion.
Helpful - 0

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