How should I handle this

[stubby226]

I was visiting my niece and 7yo greatniece last week.  I saw a Christmas music box .  It was a snow globe scene of a mountain with a little train that went around and around thru the mountain as it played Santa Clause is coming to town. I said "Wow I have one just like that."  My niece said that was yours you gave it to the kids.  She has 3 boys and 2 girls.  I was so surprised I said nothing.  My niece said the kids really enjoy it alot.

I do not remember ever giving the music box to the kids.I do give them alot of things but I can't see me giving that away.  It was the first music box I ever bought and had.  It is about 30 years old.

I do know that last year I was looking all over for it.  I also know that I had alot of good memories with my gransons watching that train.

I have been pretty sick the last 3 years between Hep C treatment, HIV virus, pancreatitis, and alot of other various ailments.  I know one of the difficulties I had was periods of memory laspe, confusion and frustration. I may have given it away during one of my brain fogs.

I really would like to get the music box back.  But I would never take it or ask for it straight out.

My thought is to take several of my nonsentimental music boxes over to her house and ask if she would like to trade 2 for one.  My husband says to forget it and leave it alone.  My mom says just let them have it and forget it was ever yours.

Am I wrong for wanting to get it back?  Am I wrong for being willing to trade 2 for 1?  I did pray about it and have had no answer so.... I thought I would ask what everyone thought.  

I really appreciate any and all input anyone may have including any oher suggestions or insight.  stubby

[kitty51]

That is a really good outcome,you thought out loud here and then made your decision,sometimes its good to that even though deep down we already know the answer.

[stubby226]

Wow I just read the last note.  My spelling, typing, or both were absolutely terrible.  I am embrassed.  I had such a special time with my neice.  I took the 2 music boxes, one of kitens, and one fairy down to her house.  She got my old music box back to me.  I told her to wait as I wanted to tell her something.  I told her thatI could not remember giving away my music box and that was why I wanted it back.  I told her that after praying and thinking about it I wanted her to keep it.  Initially she kooked sad as I think she thought  I was not going to give her the other 2.  When She had all three the smile on her face was absolutely precious.  I am so glad I had a change of heart and mind.  Thankmyou everyone for your advice and even tho I did not take one suggestion to follow completely but alot of the information I rec'd influenced my behavior.

[stubby226]

I have rethought my attitude.  My niece was willing to trade.  I have decided that I will give her the 2 music boxes and the give her back the train music box.  Sice I made that des It was not her having the music box but me not remember giving it to her that really bothered me the most.  So.... I am going to take to music boxes she picked out to her tomorrow then give her back the orginal one.  I feel so much more at peace after making that decision.

Thank you everyone for you input.  it helped tremdously.

[jo929]

It seems they really feel that you gave the box to them, and if you love your family just say how much you miss it, and still wish you had it, then let it go if they give it back fine if they do not let it go and keep your memories and the love of your family  sometime our real treatures are in the ones we love  luck  jo

[Barb135]

You had the music box for 30 years and apparently enjoyed it very much.  Since you DO visit them from time to time, you can still enjoy it when you are there.  OR you could mention during conversation about a period of being ill, brain fog, etc and that you may have given away some things that you didn't intend to -- and see if your niece realizes that you may be referring to the music box.  See if she offers to give it back, if not,  I think I would let the kids keep it and take pleasure from their enjoyment of something that came from you.  

[margypops]

I wouldnt do the trade, I would simply explain to your niece and ask if you can share it as you must have made a mistake when you were sick and miss the music box..you visit them so you have it a few weeks them give it back for them to have for a few weeks.It is possible that your Niece would see how you wanted it and leave it with you, or at least you will have it some of the time ..Good Luck its a tough one ..

[bk3019]

Ask yourself this: Is the music box worth family confussion? If the answer is NO then let it be! (I would)  If  the answer is YES then in casual conversation with your niece you might want to ask when it was (what year etc.) that you gave the music box to the children. This might trigger your memory?  Then at that point YOU be the judge whether you should offer a trade.  Just an Idea.  Someone else here may have a different view. Good Luck!