I think I may be on another losing streak. My friend has been through a lot over the past couple of months and along the way, I have tried to help her, working with her and advising her, guiding her through. I care about my friend and yesterday she said something I never thought I would hear:
"I know you are a really caring friend, but please don't pretend like you know me."
Apparently it was annoying that I was giving her advice on stfuf when I didn't know whar was going on. So I apologised and she went right past it. She posted statuses and everything and went right past my email.
What do I do now?
****, it really hurt hearing that and now she is not talking to me? I don't know her? I don't know why she wouldn't respond, I mean it is pretty hard to avoid me, we go to the same school, we are in the same class!
Sometimes I wish people will grow some courage and tell me the truth about how they feel or actually talk to me about solutions. It was professional of her to tell me how she felt, albeit rough sounding and now she ignores me. Really don't get it.
Okay, are you sure you want truth??? I warn you that sometimes it does hurt.
I think you've overestimated where you stand with this friend. She does not want counsel, advice, etc. and really----------- in the vast majority of my friendships, I don't counsel or advise my friends. I just hang out with them and have fun.
I just think that this is what you need to be doing with your friends.
Give advice only when asked or in desperate situations. You can listen and being a good listener is great. But leave it at that.
You need to have more fun with your friends and be less 'on the job'. good luck
I really have never known anyone who enjoys getting hit with unsolicited advice everytime he/she interacts with someone; definitely would be a "turn off." In fact, I think most people would just get tired of this and cut all ties with the person; sounds like this is what your friend has done.
If these friends are seeking your advice; asked you for advice, then that is different.
I am not sure why you are putting yourself into some "counselor" or "mentoring" role to friends.
This has nothing to do with any "losing streak." I just think your friends don't want you to "counsel" them as you are NO counselor or therapist. This is something you are doing to your relationships, not friends being mean, cold or not understanding. Perhaps your friends just don't want you 100% in their face with "this or that." Even friends need breaks from time to time from each other.
Friendships should be looked upon as more of an enjoyment not "how can I fix all the problems in my friends' lives or how can I fix them."
I have noticed the majority of your posts are relating to how you can fix or advise your friends with "this or that." I wouldn't recommend using all your waking hours to solve issues that AREN'T yours. I think you should be more FOCUSED on you and your issues.
LISTEN MORE AND COUNSEL LESS. Nobody enjoys a "busybody."
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