PONDERISMS...

PONDERISMS...


I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that
    most people die of natural causes.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Life is sexually transmitted.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals
dying of nothing..

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no
one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
attention to criticism.

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now
the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it
takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think
I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?'

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

y does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if
    they are going to look up there anyway?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
    vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?  

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

[peggy64]

Thanks for the laugh. This was really funny.

[FurballsMom]

Funny.  LOL

[redheadaussie]

Hee hee...that was very funny.
I have one to add....
Did you hear about the dyslexic man who went home and put out bowls of dog food every where, his wife said,"What are you doing? We don't own a dog!" He replies, "But I saw a sign today saying, DOG is coming!"
I can tell this joke as my man is dyslexic and he always gets a chuckle from this joke!

[Lonelymom]

LOL that was good redheadaussie!

[Crochetya]

Lonelymom, I love it....LOLOL I needed that.

rhaussie, I have one similiar to that.LOL

When my boys were kids, I guess about 5 and 3. I was in the bed room tidying things a bit, I heard a rumble. Dre' my oldest comes running down the hall,....."Mom   Mom its the FBI, yea the FBI". my heart sank. I go the living room window, its  BFI the garbage truck. Oh! I had to laugh. He had my attention.LOLOL.