Member Comments are provided by individuals and reflect their personal opinions only. Under NO circumstances should you act on any advice or opinion posted in this forum. ALWAYS check with your personal physician before taking any action regarding your health! MedHelp International and our partners, sponsors and affiliates have no obligation to monitor any comments posted on this site, or the content and/or accuracy of such exchanges. MedHelp International does not endorse the views of any user.
What do you think of Lying?
by PrettyKitty1, Feb 17, 2009 10:15PM
I wonder how many people think lying is good or bad, and why? Is lying truly necessary to achieve something?
You guys are more than welcome to support your answers based on religion, personal experiences or politics.
You guys are more than welcome to support your answers based on religion, personal experiences or politics.
Post Comment
Related Communities
Recent Videos
Recent Activity
Most Popular Trackers
RSS
Expert Activity
Community Members
Most Viewed Health Pages
when faced with a direction question like do you like my new dress from a friend and I hate it I find something I like for exaple that length is really in this year or that color mathes your skin tone beautifully,,,no lying..
I've had to learn that teenagers will sometimes lie to their parents so that they don't get in trouble. And I had to learn to not go overboard when I would find out, to stay calm and just explain to them why it breaks your trust. We went through this with our daughter over and over. I'd give her some freedom and she'd blow it and try to lie and hide it. I would tell her that she'd get into more trouble lying than telling the truth but it took a long time for her to finally understand that she was going to have to earn back our trust. She finally has it because she is being honest with me now and I so appreciate it! But it took a long time to get there.
Sorry, I went off on a tangent there, lol. I think I was going somewhere with that? Lol
Let's just say I try real hard not to ever lie and if I do, accidentally or something, I will feel guilty about it, lol. I'm so hard on myself! ;P
I do think you will lose respect for someone when they've lied to you. It's hard to build back up that trust. It's just best to be honest.
Sometimes, some people find themselves interviewing for a job they really don’t want but MUST try to get (for X and numerous obvious reasons) and so they tend to tell the interviewer that they’d be more than happy to be part of the team and blah blah blah? In reality, they jut need to get the job not because they will enjoy it or like it but because there is no free lunch anywhere. Wouldn’t this be an acceptable thing to do? You lie to be able to pay rent. How’s that?
I’ve seen that a lot, especially lately, with so many unemployed, highly qualified individuals who are desperate to get a job no matter how, even if it they will get paid $20,000 less (yearly).
These discussions, we have at work all the time. Economic crisis sometimes calls for desperate measures.
If it weren't for me knowing some social graces I probably would be giving people a very honest (read: blunt) opinion to the question "How do I look?" if I didn't think it was good.
In those cases I may try to say they look good but try to offer suggestion for improvement.
Also I've learned to say "Fine" to the question "How is your day going?" If I were to give a true complete answer, then I'd probably bore the person or create an awkward moment... Sometimes I say "Tired." That works too and it is honest. I seem to always feel tired.
Outright honesty can be a problem at times... I can insert foot in mouth.
Sometimes if under pressure, I may say a lie reflexivly, but tend to confess later when no longer under pressure.
------
Even the most honest person may not always tell the truth, because our sense of truth is based on our perceptions. Ask several people witnessing a car wreck and you'll find varrying stories.
I do classify lying into bad and "healthy". Sometimes we just don’t have a choice. There may be a way out; but it could be that such way out will not bring beneficial outcomes. For example, lying on a job interview.
I still feel guilty about the "white" lies though because we're all taught that lying is wrong and I agree....but like I said, I can't help it when it comes to my parents sometimes.
Thank you for understanding, PK.
We all lie...I think it is inevitable. Is it ok? Hmmm...I think it depends on the situation, not on the concept of the word "LIE"
My sister asked me once and I kind of hesitated before giving an answer. We worked together and picked out a better shirt. Then she looked much better.
It's impossible to be 100% honest and never lie... But as far as outright lying to deceive someone I won't do. My parents strongly told me that if I was honest, they'd always be easier on me than if I were to lie and them to find out the truth...
At times I may have gone way too far... Many years ago I accidently lost a queen ant from an ant farm I had... I felt compelled to be honest... I told my mom. She took it surprisingly well. Then a day later she exploaded at the thought of having an ant infestation in the house.
Sometimes it's wise to just keep quiet............ In this case nothing happened. We didn't get an infestation. If we did, then I would have been in trouble....
Agreed!!
Even the most honest person may not always tell the truth, because our sense of truth is based on our perceptions. Ask several people witnessing a car wreck and you'll find varying stories.
Excellent. This is so true ( lol, not a lie). When responding to certain questions, it is only our perception that we feel is the truth.
I don't like lying, I will avoid it, if at all possible. But I have also found there are times, that it is best for people or situations concerned. I have a Mother who is old and somewhat senile, with some of her questions or situations that come up, telling her a few little lies can make life a little easier on everyone.
I think everyone lies, at some point, some time, whether they realize it or not.
"Well spoken, sir"
I do think sometimes you have to lie.
For example, I have a very very controlling mother. If i told her the truthful answer to everything she asked me...OMG her pacemaker would go off. So, i sometimes feel like i have to lie to her to protect her and her health.
Also, she is nosey. ANd i feel i am entitled to privacy. Now, I would love to say i could say to her "Mom, please respect my privacy." but, refer to the above paragraph and it would make sense why i cant do that.
I wouldnt lie to my boyfriend though because i have no reason to. Well, i guess sometimes i do but i just dont with it.
I would never lie to a boss or someone like that.
I guess...it comes down to why u are lying........if it is to obtain self gain, then no that is wrong. But, if it is to protect someone who hsa no reason to know your business anyways...then do what u gotta do.
Women-- How many of you have faked an orgasm so not to hurt someone else?? Isn't that a lie. I know I have done it before and didn't want to hurt my husband.
BOSS said to an employee: "Do you believe in life after Death?
EMPLOYEE : "Certainly not! There 's no proof of it", he replied.
BOSS : "Well, there is now. After you left early yesterday to go to your uncle's funeral
He came here looking for you.!"
I also agree with you about teaching your kids, etc. I've told my kids so many times that it's better for them to tell me the truth than for me to find out if they're lying. They will get in way more trouble for trying to cover up something than to just confess what they did. It takes a bigger person to be able to do that. Sure, we've all lied at times, sometimes without realizing but we should be careful to try to always be honest because it is a reflection on our character and people won't feel like they can trust you or ever believe you if they find out you've lied to them.
I will lie when I am told something that hurts me deeply, I will often say “I understand”, or “it’s ok no problem”. What the heck it is only me getting hurt right, why let others see my pain. I may also talk to someone on a superficial level even when I have disdain for someone because of something they said or did to me or a friend, as long as it wasn’t physical or had to do with hurting a child, and yet others wonder why I would ever talk to them again. I guess that is sort of living a lie, right?
. to protect themselves
. to make themselves look good (my thoughts... many of these people have low self-esteem and/or are envious of their co-workers, friends, etc.)
. for personal gain (these people often have personality disorders... like Casey Anthony)
I'm sure we all have lied when we were children, but I would hope that most of us have grown out of it.
It probably just depends on everyone own personal definition of lying...If the check-out lady at the grocery store ask how I am, no, I'm probably not going to tell her I'm awful if it's been a bad day(kids screaming, PMS, etc.). But, I guess I don't consider that a lie. I'll probably just tell her I've had better days and move on.
I think we're all talking about very different things here.
April, in your case, lying isn't acceptable. Your daughter should be honest with you. I agree on that.
Teko, yes, we do have to teach our children to tell the truth, absolutely. And I love your thoughts about lying.
But is lying always a bad thing? Why?
Plateletgal,
Believe it or not, nobody "grows out of it" simply, because lying isn't a kid's thing. Everybody lies. It may not be a good thing all the time, but when a lie becomes necessary, and in a lot of cases, it does become necessary (not necessarily to protect yourself or make yourself look good) then why see it as something bad? Should we all lie all the time? Of course not. But life isn’t easy at all, and many of us may very well be faced with an extreme case in which we’d have to lie.
If you got laid off right now, and your family depends on your work, would you not lie if you had to on a job interview by saying you’d be thrilled to join the company even if you despise it with your heart and soul? Wait, I know, yes, you would.
Dr. Gail’s statement may be right but such report does not consider numerous aspects of life human beings are faced with on a daily basis.
My question :’What do you think of lying’ is open for not just one case or situation but to a more general atmosphere. I did not ask “what do you think of bad lies, or what do you think of white lies. And I did it precisely because I wanted to read your comments (and thank you so much for posting) on both an unnecessary lie or a necessary one. Hmm…let me see, if I were to base myself on one specific scenario, I’d say my dad is your typical liar and that always interfered with my relationship with him. I hate to see him lie so much.
But let’s just remember that there are also cases in which you have to lie, not to protect yourself but to protect your kid or mother, maybe to save them from starvation. That was the case of one of my co-workers. Now, anyone, tell me, did he do a bad thing because he lied to the boss during the interview by saying he knew Microsoft Office very well, knew how to communicate with people and had office experience JUST to get that job to feed his family? He had been laid off. He knows nothing related to word or excel. He stutters when talking to people on the phone because he gets nervous. He doesn’t this scared to be involved in new projects because he fears he will mess up and so he ends up not helping anyone. But he is getting paid and his 2 kids are getting fed. At the end of he day, isn’t that what matter in this case?
Please…..if you do not agree with me I can understand….but I doubt anyone would act in a different manner if put on that situation; because in the end, family is first.
Everybody lies but some people lie more than others. I honestly have no reason to lie to people. I think many people lie because they are afraid. If I did lie, it would be with the best intentions. (if someone asked if they looked fat in an outfit... I may just suggest another type of outfit for their body style and not lie if I could help it).
I agree with PrettyKitty!!
I can be angry with people, but I _choose_ to be nice to them, because I believe in "Love your enemies." and "turn the other cheek." In the Bible (New Testament) Jesus talks about loving others, even if they do harm.
I'm not Jesus... I'm far from it, but I try my best... Sometimes I fail and my anger shows. Sometimes not. I don't view it as being dishonest or lying. I view it as part of trying to be a good Christian.
LOL, this reminds me of that one "I Love Lucy" episode where Ricky and Fred and Ethel bet her 100 dollars that she could not tell the truth for 24 hours, well, at first, it was difficult for her, but, after awhile, she got good at it, and made some folks angry. (I just love that show, it is my favorite.)
So, I guess my answer is planned lieing, is wrong, but, if we do it without really giving it thought, it is human, and God will forgive us, I am sure glad He does too. :)
I can tell you, before my aunt died to bone cancer, we would all tell her that she'd be ok, and that she didn't have cancer, and that she’d live a long time. We decided to lie to her to make her feel better, because we saw her face turn brighter whenever someone would give her hope. For a dying individual, I'd say this type of lie is definitely worth it, because it brightens their last days, and their sufferings lessen. Well, that's how we coped with her condition, and that's how she dealt with it, just thinking she'd get better, and that would make her optimistic. Definitely worth it. I would lie again with no regret, if it meant the comfort of a loved one who has no chance. THAT lie was planned.
I remember reading Rahab's story. Thank you for bringing that up!! You're great :)
You've said it all hon!!! I could not agree more :)
How do I deal with interviews...Iell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth. There are very few businesses that would be unable to find out the truth any way.
Asking someone how I look is a set up. If I am so insecure that I need their approval I will not believe what they say or I will be hurt by what is said. I used to ask my hubby how I looked. I would not believe him if he said nice and I would resent it if he was negative. I dress for myself and if I feel comfortable that is what is important. If someone asks me how they look I frequently would ask how they felt about how they looked. By doing that I did not assume the role of judge and jury.
Have I lied? Yes. To protect someone for a while until he would expose his lies on his own. To gain time. To shut down a conversation. To escape parental threats. To appear less bold on a first date. Yep, and it never felt good....because I blush from neck to scalp.
I know when we make decisions to raise our child the way you think you should rather than what is taken for granted, it does cause strife with some family members, but it is your child and you are responsible for him. Scripture says, we are to bring them up in the way they should go. It also says we will answer for how we teach our children. So , as long as we are satisfied that we are putting Our Saviour first, seperatiing reality from fiction then we have done our best. Stubby 226 has some good ideats
Now Holloween, I do not celebate.I was an adult and my children had outgrown the age to go trick or treating, before I became aware of what goes on, and the reall celebration. I thought it was just a candy night for the kids.Now, I could not give a child a piece of candy and not believe I was giving it in the name of Satan. I have learned enough over the last years to tell me all I want to know about it. There are Churchs that celebrate Holloween, and if you think about it, it is really contradictive of what a Holy Church of God's stands for. These are things as I see it, as I have learned and aged over the years and just my point of view. RJ
I have a friend of mine who used to not celebrate Halloween but then felt convicted by God that she could use the holiday as a way to reach others, so she started attaching little scriptures to each candy that she handed out and then carved her pumpkins to spell out "Jesus is the light".
It is weird if you think about it Christmas (Santa toys for the children),Easter (Bunny Basket for the children),Holloween(Candy for the children,or pay the price, my trick). They all direct to children.
The person is weakening fast..."will I be okay?" he asks you...
What is your answer? Remember, they have minutes to live.
Swamp, If the person is dying, at the moment, and I would try to have them stay with me and just talk to them and have them concentrate on staying calm, until someone can help them get to a hospital.
I have never done this nor ever been in this situation. I hope God will guide me if it does.
I value honesty more and more as I age. However, I have seen that some times lies are told to benefit the person. Working with dementia residents/Alzheimer's....the nurses/cna's, etc. end up tell "white lies" to calm people down, etc. At first it was hard for me, but I saw that it worked and understood. Being a christian and coming from a more dark/light background with few greys.....I hadn't felt as comfortable in those "grey" areas.
I guess now more than any other time in my life I am open to more views on this and other areas. Life isn't so cut/dried as it is arranged...and truth isn't always so clear.
I try my best to be truthful but honestly speaking...I have told lies to save my arse. Does it make me feel good? Nope...I see myself for who I am and I am faaaaaaaar from perfection. I tell God I am a coward in that situation and ask for forgiveness. I open to better ways of being.
My other daughter would look me right in the eyes and lie like ...... So it was hard as I wasn't sure when she told me things. I tried the psychological voodoo with mom's having eyes in the back of the head.
I told both my daughter's that I would go easier on them if they told me the truth then if they lied.
All the while I had to face myself. I learned to lie early....and like others I learned that others didn't want to hear the truth. Those who are in dysfunctional homes know exactly what I am referring to. It becomes a mind-trip....I was alice in wonderland for a while trying to fit in.
Those experiences have made me cherish "honesty" all the more and to seek "truth". I cut others slack and myself now as we are human and get "twisted" in our thinking. That doesn't mean it is condone. We can discuss "white lies" ....Little white lies.....and the bigger ones which are meant to conceal truth. This is a huge area to explore with many ramifications. Good topic and one well worth exploring.
Confession is good for our beings/soul.
:-)))