What do you think of Lying?

[PrettyKitty1]

I wonder how many people think lying is good or bad, and why? Is lying truly necessary to achieve something?

You guys are more than welcome to support your answers based on religion, personal experiences or politics.

[Modafinil]

All people lie, exaggerate and misrepresent the truth at times.

I don't have a problem a with a mild level of this over matters that are not of great importance.

However excessive or frequent lying, and deliberately lying about some important issues, and indeed lying to someone when they have a strong sense of trust that you are telling the truth about something that is important to them- that is dysfunctional behavior.

[cupidsarcher766]

So many of you it sounds like are against lying. And this is just my observation, but it really sounds like you're against being lied to. Everyone lies, let's face it. I think whether or not I think it's okay to lie depends on the situational context. I was told to tell the truth ever since I was little, but do you all know how many lies there are out there? You wouldn't want to know what's in your McDonalds BIgMac would you? The whole sales market is built on deception. Scientific research shows this, these numbers show that, this ingredient is great for your pores, this perfect sit up will give you clean cut abs like mine blah blah blah... but that's all a bunch of crap. business is a whole tree of lies. it's ignorance that will lead to being lied to. Sorry, I just kind of went on a little tangent there.. haha. All I'm saying is do your research. never listen to the one who tells "truths," but rather listen to the one who seeks the truths. seek and you shall find :).

[jo929]

there are times when it is much easier to lie when someone says and how are you feeling today jo i say just fine, why tell them i feel like H--l and would rather be in bed who cares how i feel also when i was working in the hosp we were not allowed to discuss- the patients diagnosis the Dr had said she had cancer and had 6 months to live, this was back when there was no chance except a miricle the lady asked me she said jo do you think that i am going to die what a question how do you answer i did not have the heart, so i said only God knows that, much later she took it well and told me her plans to live life to the fullest  while she did have to live she said i am going to do the things i have always wanted to do, then she looked at me and said dont cry jo i am going to be fine yes that was one time i could not keep a poker face otherwise i tell the truth but i do tell little white lies whensomeone asks me how they look jo

[Dazon50]

I think I valued MJI's honesty more when I was raising my 2nd daughter.  MJI didn't lie and I knew that.  If she got into something, she didn't hide it...left the wrappings right on the floor and I knew she got into something.   I could ask her and she wouldn't deny it.

My other daughter would look me right in the eyes and lie like ......  So it was hard as I wasn't sure when she told me things.  I tried the psychological voodoo with mom's having eyes in the back of the head.

I told both my daughter's that I would go easier on them if they told me the truth then if they lied.

All the while I had to face myself.  I learned to lie early....and like others I learned that others didn't want to hear the truth.  Those who are in dysfunctional homes know exactly what I am referring to.  It becomes a mind-trip....I was alice in wonderland for a while trying to fit in.

Those experiences have made me cherish "honesty" all the more and to seek "truth".  I cut others slack and myself now as we are human and get "twisted" in our thinking.  That doesn't mean it is condone.  We can discuss "white lies" ....Little white lies.....and the bigger ones which are meant to conceal truth.  This is a huge area to explore with many ramifications.  Good topic and one well worth exploring.

Confession is good for our beings/soul.

:-)))

[Dazon50]

I know I don't want to lie, but realize that lying comes out of ignorance.  We pass on information thinking it to be true/factual, but it turns out to be untrue in some way.

I value honesty more and more as I age.  However, I have seen that some times lies are told to benefit the person.  Working with dementia residents/Alzheimer's....the nurses/cna's, etc. end up tell "white lies" to calm people down, etc.  At first it was hard for me, but I saw that it worked and understood.  Being a christian and coming from a more dark/light background with few greys.....I hadn't felt as comfortable in those "grey" areas.

I guess now more than any other time in my life I am open to more views on this and other areas.  Life isn't so cut/dried as it is arranged...and truth isn't always so clear.

I try my best to be truthful but honestly speaking...I have told lies to save my arse.  Does it make me feel good?  Nope...I see myself for who I am and I am faaaaaaaar from perfection.  I tell God I am a coward in that situation and ask for forgiveness.  I open to better ways of being.

[MJIthewriter]

I was thinking, maybe just giving the dying man a hug or holding his hand would do..but I've never been in such a situation to know how it would go.

[teko]

First do no harm, and never tell a lie. Lying is an insult to the reciever and the giver, gentleness and a warm smile go along ways.

[Crochetya]

I don't care to be lied to, soooooo....I try to choose words that are true that would not hurt the person. If I know they won't like or will be hurt, I might say," You will not like what I am going to tell you, and I'll try to say it simple and not hurtful." That way they know I tried to avoid hurting them. I despise someone lying to me. I will interpret it the wrong way, as rude and an insult to my intelligence.

Swamp, If the person is dying, at the moment, and I would try to have them stay with me and just talk to them and have them concentrate on staying calm, until someone can help them get to a hospital.

I have never done this nor ever been in this situation. I hope God will guide me if it does.

[margypops]

Yes I would lie ..

[swampcritter]

Suppose you are walking down the street, and someone is hit by a car. You run up and you realize that the person has horrific injuries and will not survive.

The person is weakening fast..."will I be okay?" he asks you...

What is your answer? Remember, they have minutes to live.

[leeisgettingclean]

i do not think lyin is a good trait but i do think its a human trait in many..I have lied as I am sure//certain everyone has but not proud of it

[RJ233]

April, that is a cool idea with the pumpkin.  
It is weird if you think about it Christmas (Santa toys for the children),Easter (Bunny Basket for the children),Holloween(Candy for the children,or pay the price, my trick). They all direct to children.

[April2]

I don't like Halloween, either. I usually take my kids to a church party where they all it "All Saints Day" or "Hallelujuh night" where they have to dress up as Bible characters or something. They still get to play games and get candy, etc., but it's a safer, more positive atmosphere. I think Halloween has changed over the years. It seems more evil, darker, than it used to. When you go into the stores around Halloween, they're full of demons and scary violent or extremely sexy things. It's hard to find just a cute costume anymore, anyway. I did let my older ones do a little trick or treating when they were older because they begged me and they really just wanted the fun and candy but I never let them dress in evil costumes, etc.
I have a friend of mine who used to not celebrate Halloween but then felt convicted by God that she could use the holiday as a way to reach others, so she started attaching little scriptures to each candy that she handed out and then carved her pumpkins to spell out "Jesus is the light".

[RJ233]

I think you should stand your ground in teaching what you know to be the truth.You can tell him that Santa is make believe because of the love in your heart that Jesus gave you and that is why he get gifts.If you start with the truth, then you have no battle. One problem those fantacies create is the lie we tell our child and it goes on for years. We don't want them to lie, but then we teach them it is ok if it is for a good purpose. If you can tell them Santa is a fairy tale, but that loving spirt lives in your hearts from Christ, I don't think he would be disappointed.

I know when we make decisions to raise our child the way you think you should rather than what is taken for granted, it does cause strife with some family members, but it is your child and you are responsible for him. Scripture says, we are to bring them up in the way they should go. It also says we will answer for how we teach our children. So , as long as we are satisfied that we are putting Our Saviour first, seperatiing reality from fiction then we have done our best. Stubby 226 has some good ideats

Now Holloween, I do not celebate.I was an adult and my children had outgrown the age to go trick or treating, before I became aware of what goes on, and the reall celebration. I thought it was just a candy night for the kids.Now, I could not give a child a piece of candy and not believe I was giving it in the name  of Satan. I have learned enough over the last years to tell me all I want to know about it. There are Churchs that celebrate Holloween, and if you think about it, it is really contradictive of what a Holy Church of God's stands for.   These are things as I see it, as I have learned and aged over the years and just my point of view. RJ

[stubby226]

That is a $60.00 question.  I was raised without the belief of Santa, Easter bunny, or alot of other childhood fantasys. I went thru a stage of resenting God and church as I was different then other children.  I have since then combined the true meanings with some secular activities.  I would have an Easter egg hunt for family, friends, and some church members.  I always included in the hidden eggs the eggs with the story of the resurrection on them.  I played a video of the story of Christ and the celberation of his being risen.  At Christmas time I again always included the true meaning of Christmas and Jesus' birth.  I also would tell the story of St. Nick, how Santa came about and how some people celeberated Santa rather then Christ. I have found that by putting Christ first, but including the secular celebrations helps in not creating resentfulness toward religion yet allows children to have fun in a truthful, honest way.  I also have heard some fantastic ways families have celebrated Christmas creating memories never to be forgotten.  I also have a really cute music box of Santa kneeling at baby Jesus crib.

[April2]

RJ, let me ask you a question, if you don't mind. How do you feel, then, about teaching children about Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy and so on? Is this lying? I've been struggling with this. I did teach my older two all that but then became a born again Christian late in life. Now I wonder if I really want to teach my 4 year old all of this. My mother really fights me on this. She thinks it would be cruel to not teach him but I've had friends who didn't teach their kids these things. I just don't know what to think. So far I've only pointed out Santa to him and briefly talked about him, trying to keep most of the focus of Christmas on the Nativity story and how it's the celebration of the birth of Christ. I think Santa has taken over the whole meaning of Christmas. But I'm torn on what I should do. I want to encourage his imagination and fun but at the same time not lie. What do you think?

[RJ233]

I can remember when my daughter was about 9 (30years ago). She came and looked me straight in the eye and asked me if Santa was real,because other kids said he wasn't. I had always told my children to never lie to me.If they did something and told me the truth, they would still get punished, but if they lied, they would get punished for both. When my daughter asked me that, of course I didn't want to tell her, but she came to me for the truth.If I lied I would break her trust. I told her Santa was in the heart, which to me is true, the gifts we give our children come from the love we have for them. Now she remembers that and said Christmas was never the same, and I told her you asked for the truth. I'm not sorry I told her the truth because her memory would have been, you taught us to tell the truth and you told me a lie.The next thing would have been, how can I trust you, you lied to me. My brother once as a grown man, looked me straight in the eye when I asked him a point blank, very important question, and lied to me. I thought I could trust him, so I believed him.Sometime later in conversation he accidently told me the truth.I can say I was really disappointed in him. If a friend asks me a question, I don't mind giving them my opinion.

[PrettyKitty1]

Thank you very much for your comment :) I am not a liar, but now that you mention it, I only blush when I drink wine!!! :)

[Trialanderror]

Is lying truly necessary to achieve something? Good question - no, on the contrary. There is no progress but just a vicious cycle if we lie. If I screw up, I need to be honest about it to move on and let others move on. Life is a process of decision-making and even if I just lie to myself, I will make erratic decisions if they are based on lies.

Have I lied? Yes. To protect someone for a while until he would expose his lies on his own. To gain time. To shut down a conversation. To escape parental threats. To appear less bold on a first date. Yep, and it never felt good....because I blush from neck to scalp.

[stubby226]

Lying?  What is that??  Just trying to bring a smile to your face.  I know from past experience that once someone tells a lie they have started the ball rolling that will continue to pick up gabage as it rolls down hill.  Then when this ball of destruction stops who knows how many peopl it will hurt.  I do not like lying but I remember ther last time I lied.  My older sister was was killed in an autoaccident about 30 years ago out of state.  My mother wanted me to call the emergency room to see if my sister had said anything before she died and if she had suffered.  I knew what my mother wanted to hear.  I told her that the nurse said that my sister had not sufferred and that her last words were, "Tell my mom I love her."  Yes I lied.  Do I feel guilty,  No.  I do wish it had been true and under different circumstances it could have been.  The nurse did say she was unconscious and did not appear to be sufferring.  I  would like to think if she was awake she would have said that.  So..was I wrong?  I don't think so.  Others may have different idea.

How do I deal with interviews...Iell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth.  There are very few businesses that would be unable to find out the truth any way.

Asking someone how I look is a set up.  If I am so insecure that I need their approval I will not believe what they say or I will be hurt by what is said.  I used to ask my hubby how I looked.  I would not believe him if he said nice and I would resent it if he was negative.  I dress for myself and if I feel comfortable that is what is important.  If someone asks me how they look I frequently would ask how they felt about how they looked.  By doing that I did not assume the role of judge and jury.

[PrettyKitty1]

Sassy,

You've said it all hon!!! I could not agree more :)

[SassyLassie]

I agree PK, I truly feel in cases like you mentioned that our Lord does not condemn lying. I think there are definitely times when it would actually be detrimental to someone if we were blunt and told the truth. As April said, God is the best judge, and it is best to leave the judgment to Him.  :)

[PrettyKitty1]

April,

I remember reading Rahab's story. Thank you for bringing that up!! You're great :)

[April2]

Good point, PK. There's a story in the Bible about a harlot named Rahab who hid some of God's prophets and lied to the people looking for them. Scriptures do not condemn her for lying though, it praises her for her faith and good works, so I think we have to be careful to leave the judging up to God. Perhaps there are times that God allows it such as in your case, PK with your aunt. You were being kind to her and giving her hope. I don't think God would condemn you for that.