48 w/ brown discharge; clueless husband needs help

[bryanhur]

Hi everyone.  I wonder if this is the first time a husband has asked for help.  Be patient if so.

My wife turns 48 in June 2010.  For the past year she's been experiencing brown discharge between periods.  Sometimes this goes on and off for weeks--three days; light discharge; then none for a few days; then some; then as normal, she starts her period.  You've always been able to set the clock by her and that hasn't changed.  It's just that now she has the added discharge.  No pain, no tingling, no other symptoms that I know of.

She HATES going to the doctor.  Hasn't been to an gyn. since our daughter was born 11 years ago.  I'm encouraging, supporting and everything I know to be.  I have always gone with her to her OB/GYN visits...I've never missed one.  But she's still VERY sensitive to doctors.

Can anyone offer advice, experience or anything?

Thanks in advance.

[bryanhur]

Thanks snowflake.  I can't say the thought hasn't crossed my mind.  But, note my comment to the previous post.

Thanks ever so much for the additional information, though.  Hearing your experience will actually aid in her going.  I think the thing she fears most is that ther IS something wrong.  I know that sounds silly, but this is a pretty strong fear.  Knowing she has LESS to fear will be more of a pat on the back to get checked out.  I appreciate your added info.

[bryanhur]

While I appreciate your frustration more than you know, we all have our fears.  This is one we are working out together.  I'm being the supporting husband who is gently pushing her to get past this, but the decision is still hers; it springs from a traumatic experience she had when she was young.  All said, she's agreed to find a female gyn and I'm helping in that process.  I'm sure you have fears in your life you haven't faced, too.  This just happens to be hers.  Thanks for the post though.  It's good to have the affirmation.

[snowflake1958]

I agree with the previous poster. Dont want to scare you or your wife but a good friend of mine  had her mother die of cervical cancer at the age of 52 because she wouldnt go and have her regular pap smears..had she done this it could have been avoidable. Not saying anything like this is going on with your wife but its really important..It takes 10 minutes.I just had both my pap and mammogram done and niether one took more than 10 min each and its much peace of mind.
Now i can say for me that the last year or so of my periods where the same as your wife is experiencing.. Reg period (but not regular) if you know what i mean..I could go 3 weeks or 3 months..But whenever i did get a period it would be followed by the  spotting of brown discharge which could actually go on for what seemed like weeks.. The last period i had in December was one whole month of that.. I had a blood test done and it was determined i am Peri menopausal. Havnt had a period now since that one..and hoping i dont get anymore..lol Please let your wife know how important it is to take care of herself..My friend was 10 years old when her mother died. . Please insist that she go have a pap smear and at the same time she can discuss the issue she's having. It may or may not be anything.What is it thats stopping her from doing this?

[HealthMatters2U]

At the risk of sounding blunt, I am going to go ahead and say this. At 48 years of age she should know the importance of good health care which would include regulary gyn exams.  While you are to be commended for trying to help her with this and for caring enough to be active in her health care, she needs to grow up and step up to the plate and accept responsibility for her own health care. What kind of example does she think she is setting for her 11 year old daughter? This is a time in your daughters life where she needs to begin to become aware (If not already) of the issues related to women's health and the proper care of herself.
Even more than caring for herself, your wife shoudl consider her child in this situation.  While it most probably is not something serious, the only way to know for sure is to seek medical care and in doing so, your wife may protect her health and thus LIVE long enough to see your daughter grow into a woman of her own.
Sorry---but your wife is behaving as a child and it is time for her to grow up!