Desperate Daugher Seeks Menopause Answers

[desperatedaughter]

My mother went through menopause about 5 years ago, and while we knew that there would be symptoms, my family and I were not prepared for the severity of the onslaught.  But I'm beginning to wonder if there is more going on than just menopause.  There were hardly any physical symptoms.  No weight gain or night sweats.  But my mum's anxiety is overwhelming.  Its very difficult to get her to leave the house, and when she does, she insists on being home before dark.  She almost never goes out with her friends anymore (those that she still has).  Her wild scenarios of what could possibly happen are becoming legendary amongst friends and family, and I can't even begin to enumerate the various ways I could die that she comes up with.  My "favorite" was a bus accident that killed several people.  I don't even take the bus, but she called me every day, harassing me about not going to work--that I should take vacation time because I might die in a bus accident.  She's completely paranoid.  One of the reasons she refuses to leave the house is that she's convinced the neighbors will do something to it while she's gone.  We have perfectly respectable, non-vandalizing neighbors.  When she is away, she obsesses about what the neighbors "might" be doing while she's gone.  She's convinved that the family/the world is conspiring against her.  She came up with a scenario not long ago featuring my brother and the garage door opener.  He moved out to his own place, but still had the opener in his car.  She was absolutely convinced that someone would break into his car, steal the opener, steal his car registration, and then drive over an hour just to use the opener to break into their house.  She called me everyday to worry about this, until he returned the opener.  I think the worst is the verbal abuse that has cropped up.  No matter how old you are, no one wants to be called fat, unattractive, a failure and worthless.  When we call her on her comments, she sulks and retreats into the "everyone is against me" mentality.  I really wish I were exaggerating about this behavior but I'm not.  My father has tried to talk to their doctor, but he just claims its the result of menopause.  Is it really?  I am begging you ladies out there who have experienced the "change in life" to share your wisdom.  My father and brother have put this on me, and I don't have any aunts or living grandmothers to ask whether this is normal behavior or something more serious.  I'm truly a desperate daughter.

[LivingInHope]

Hi.... You may want to research the correlation between low estrogen and low seratonin levels.  Have you heard of OCD or obsessive compulsive disorder?  If your mother is willing, she may want to go to a competent psychiatrist to be evaluated to see what is wrong.  Natural things that may or may not help your mother- soy milk (natural estrogen type action), sam-E (naturemade brand), which a psychiatrist told me is a natural seratonin pill, walnuts, macadamia nuts, flaxseed oil or fish oil capsules, and freshwater fish, such as salmon (sources of omega fatty acids which can help mood.  I hope your mom gets the help she needs soon.

[sick and tired 47]

Your mother needs a complete physical to rule out other health issues as well as hormone testing.
She is suffering needlessly.... this is a hard, frightening time in our lives but she  does not have to suffer thru this with medical knowledge today. Bioidentical hormones help emotionaly and physically most women.
  Please get her to a dr that both treats AND understands menopause conditions. Above all rule out any other health issues too. Good luck and god bless you both.

[Rite760]

Hi, Well I started a premature menopause aged 39 and I can tell you it's been hell. A living nightmare. Aswell as the physical symptoms you can get overwhelming anxiety that comes from nowhere and renders you helpless. Your mood swings are atrocious, you can go from laughing to crying to shouting in minutes. And again, it comes from nowhere. It's caused by fluctuating hormones. But I am told that it should go when you have gone for a full year without any periods. Is your mum still having periods? If so it should ease when she stops. I hope to god that's the case, as it's what I'm pinning my hopes on. I know it must be hard for you, but it's very hard to explain how the meno makes you feel, like you've lost your old self. It can be terrifying. So I know what your mum's going through. Tell her she's not alone. And if you're worried go back to the doctor but I'm sure he's right. Give her my best wishes.