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Avatar universal

I'm having a pity party...

It's official. I hate my 40's. I am now 45 years old, and perimenopause is setting in...After all I've been though in the last 5 years, I was REALLY hoping I'd get to enjoy a few uneventful healthy ones before partaking in this phase of life..I've put up with hypercalcemia, a parathyroid tumor with surgery, gall bladder surgery, a liver biopsy, 6 months of chemotherapy for my liver, a thyroid storm, hyper/hypo thyroid issues, and seven kidney stones...What I want to know is, "Who did I tick off?!?" Am I being punished for killing kittens in a past life or something? Sigh. Okay, I'm done...These last 3 weeks I've been pretty stressed, thinking one of my old conditions had come back to haunt me, but the palpitations, the body tingling, the sleep issues, the brain fog, the "Oh, God I'm spotting when I sneeze", the "who smells funky?", and the bajillion of other symptoms all point one way now...Help, somebody? Can I get off this bus please? ~MM
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Avatar universal
I've been going through peri meno for 12 years and can feel your pain.  A couple of good books to help you understand what is happening are; "The Wisdom of Menopause", by Christine Northrop, MD and "What Your Doctor Won't Tell you about Menopause", by John Lee, MD.  Both of these doctors recommend bio-identical progesterone to balance excess estrogen that occurs during perimenopause.

Bio-identical progesterone stops hair loss.
Three months after starting on the bio-identical progesterone, my hair started growing back and my natural color started replacing where my hair was turning gray!  

Also, don't be hard on yourself, the stress from guilt is self defeating.  I hope this helps, hang in there.  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi!
It sounds like your having all the bad symptoms at once.(Are there any good ones?)
The worst for me is the brain fog and the lack of energy. I have been ordering a fabulous supplement online called SAM e.The full name is s-adenosyl - L-methionine but anyone familiar with it knows it by the name SAM e. It's a naturally occurring substance in the body and I believe it was developed for joint issues but it has the added advantage of helping to lift mood and energy levels. The brand name that I use is Source Naturals and I purchase online from The Vitamin Shoppe. I take 100mgs per day and it is just enough to keep me motivated to work out, go out of the house, enjoy life and not be angry all the time! The only thing I have to watch out for is not to take more than 100mgs. per day as that can cause sleep issues for me.
If you decide to try it please check with your doctor and even a pharmacist but don't be surprised if they haven't heard of it. In any case, do your homework online if nothing else as every supplement isn't right for every body. Good Luck and keep us posted!
Denise
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I'm so blessed to read all your stories. Infact, i'm so relieved to know i'm not alone. I've been feeling really depressed as I felt I had started this journey too early. Started at 39 and i was still holding out hope of having another child. (i'm blessed with a son) i feel this hope is gone and i'm angry about that. I know i shouldn't be but i am. I can't talk to anyone about this as i'm the problem solver not the problem haver.

The symptoms are drastic - embarassing hotflashes that are imposible to hide. Sweat dripping uncontrollably followed by freezing cold, I'm tired of having to make an excuse as to why í'm drenched when all around me are cold. My son is beginning to suspect i'm not well.

I'm constantly tired and really i just want to sleep. I force my self to work. I am constantly angry and i feel so bad because by pre-teen son who is now coming into his own and answers back to everything i say seems to bear the brunt of my anger. I feel everyone is conspiring against me.

My once luscious and think hair is thinning so badly and limp, i'm so let down. I've decided to not use a relaxer on my hair anymore and invested in a keratine treatment. So far, hair breakage is not as much as with a perm, but the thinning areas in my crown do not seem to be growing at par with the rest and when my hait falls out its from the root. I've started taking Colegen tablets,(3weeks) to see how this goes. Any recommendations please.

Pains in my knees, back, headaches, irritaion, mood swings, anxiety, stress, constipation, period pains and cramps with no periods.( no periods since november 2011.)  are but a few of my symptoms.

I've tried exercise, wii fit, wii dance, walking and jogging but after 6 weeks the drive to continue just leaves me. Gosh! i'm sweating profusely now! :(

All of this and i'm living in a country where i'm still learning the language and culture due to my husbands job.

Black Cohosh and Evening Primrose oil, don't seem to work any more. Has anyone tried MACAFEM?

Don't know what to do next other than win this battle on my knees in prayer. Remember me in your prayers. AD
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi ! I am on bioidentical progesterone ( am perimenopausal) after being tested. I was VERY estrogen dominant, hot flashes, anxiety, not sleeping AT all. It has helped SO much.
I was taken off last year for several months due to some other abnormal hormones levels ( all tests negative). While off I started having terrible insomnia, anxiety, hot flashes, heart racing, ect. again.
I  will not give it up til I am thru menopause... or life's end.... don't know which will be first,  unless  the dr shows definite proof  my body no longer needs it. ( I have a super dr) Best thing I have ever done... and NO  bad side effects for me., only positive. But get a good,knowledgable dr to work with.Good luck.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I am 50 & have been in perimenopause for 8 years. I am so tired of periods every 2 weeks & then nothing for 5 weeks, then back to 2 weeks. I have been to a gyno' who found I have a cyst on the ovary & also a fibroid, which I am thinking is contributing to my hot flushes, mood swings & every other damn symptom in the book. Luckily I have a very understanding husband who I adore. Some days I think I can put make up on & feel semi' ok with the result, but most I can't stand to look in the mirror. When I did go to the gyno' about the cyst & fibroid she seemed to mysteriously come up with something else she thinks I may have & wanted to put me on birth control. I mean for goodness sake, I am 50 & I am not about to go on the pill. I am so confused & no one seems to care or want to hear about it all with the exception of this forum. I am feeling a whole lot better after reading some of your posts & feel very fortunate to not have some of the problems that some of you ladys have, thank you.
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Avatar universal
Has anyone taken the bio identical hormones? If so, have you had good results (or any)? ~MM
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Avatar universal
I went on HRT for a whole 2 days..both times my lungs became very tight within an hour of taking it..i was on premproe..low dose...so anyways cant take it now.
Found out i have a bad sinus infection, had it since January..on 4th lot of Antibiotics...this i feel is the reason behind my foggy headed feeling
Greeeeat...sinus infection and menopause.
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Avatar universal
MM,
I am  with you sister!! The worst is the mind loss.... I have a comic strip on the fridge. It  is a lady tearing her house apart, scene after scene looking for something, looking under couch cushions, in closets, under refrigerator,ect......
The last "frame" her children ask her what she is looking for, and she replies, "My mind, I know it is here somewhere".
My thoughts exactly.... need I say more!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi everyone. The women to women site is really good! I went through the hormonal profile survey and found I could do more to get my body to a "happy hormonal place" without having my "lady bits" removed.(I'm really at the point I could care less -if it made the "dragon lady" go away...) Besides the monster boobs from hell (hubby likes them!) the "bloat to a size 20" belly, and the "peek-a-boo" periods (here I am! -Just when you thought I was gone!!!), the thing I'd like the most to return to normal is my mind...I do believe I've lost it somewhere...:O ~MM
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Avatar universal
I wanted to let you guys know about a website that has a lot of really useful information about menopause.  If you sign up for it they send you periodic e-mail newsletters that are pretty interesting.  What caught my attention was that they lean towards a more natural approach and gear it towards your particular symptoms.  There is even a section about how to interpret test results who couldn't use that.  wwwwomentowomencom  hope it helps.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Well, I am going to join you in your pity party because like you I am 45 and am hating it.  I used to be happy and easy going and love life, now I just want to crawl under a rock some days.. I have about 15 perimenopause symptoms and if I don't watch it I am going to loose my job and my husband as I am so miserable.  I am either extremely angry or crying all time.  My poor husband can't do anything right.  My doc just wants to put me on antidepressents which I don't want to do.. I am not depressed, I am hormonal :(    She finally did put me on low dose birthcontrol but won't consider HRT but says there is no difference between the pill and HRT.. isn't it up to me?  It is my quality of life that is suffering!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Sorry to hear you are " in the club" too.
For me, progesterone really helped me sleep, which in turn helped my anxiety. Still have been days... but working through it. My dr says" progesterone is your friend" and is the calming hormones... well bring it on. It does take some time to start feeling a difference. You are on a very low dose, I take 150 mg daily and still have very low level when tested.
As for the Zoloft... been there too. I was on it for 6 months and the first week I felt very, very agitated, even worse than before. Then I slept for 3 days straight. It did help take "edge" off anxiety, but I did not like how I felt on it.

I wish all you LADIES the best out there... hang in there.. we will help each other thru this and one day look back and laugh.... ha ha!!! I am SO praying it is sooner not later!!
God bless.
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Avatar universal
I am 51 and like you decided with my doctors help to go on HRT. I have also felt that I was going to go insane. I have hot flashes, night sweats that cause me to wake up with my clothes drenched, anxiety, inner trembling and a whole lot of other symptoms. I started the generic for activella about a month ago. Two weeks ago, I got a full blown period, the first in 7 months. The gyn took me off the HRT and told me to take Progesterone 10mg for 10 days then restart on half the dose of HRT. The HRT at least helped with the hot flashes and mood swings, however, did nothing for the anxiety. I started Zoloft 12.5mg five days ago and now the anxiety is worse. Don't know if it's from the Zoloft or from not having taken the HRT for a few days. This is such a miserable time in my life. I just don't know how much more I can take. I at least have Ativan to help with the anxiety but I don't like to take much of it. I have been thinking of going back on the HRT and stopping the progesterone by itself. I don't really understand why I was put on it anyway.

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Avatar universal
I hear you, sister! I am 46, almost 47. I am in full menopause now. I FORCED DR. to give me HRT because I was seriously afraid I was going to go insane. I had hotflashes night and day. I felt VICIOUS, and normally, I am nice. I went through a lot physically, too. Had diverticulitis, got a colon resection. Had Ovarian tumor, then thyroid tumors, then brain aneurysm, then heart problems, then a hernia. NOW I have some sypmtoms that could indicate MS or ALS. I too, say I must have been a TERRIBLE creature in a former life. I wish you the best. HRT has helped me a little, at least I can stand myself.  
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Avatar universal
(((((((((((HUGZ))))))))) everyone. Thanks for the support...I'm still resisting the urge to throw something at the next Dr's head who talks to me like I'm a nut case. (I suppose that would probably confirm I am a bit nuts by now, but MAN do I hate Drs who talk down to you as if you are incapable of understanding anything above 2nd grade words!)
I'm finding a little stability with mega B vitamins, cal-mag supplements and a bit of black cohosh when the hot flashes start...I am missing the regularity of my periods that I used to have...It used to be 28 days and 2 in the afternoon. Now? It seems to be getting longer and longer...(Better than shorter though, eh?) Last time it started after 5 1/2 weeks (and 1 1/2 weeks of um, now? Nope. Now? Nope...Sigh...) I want my predictability back!!! WHHHAAAHHHHH!!!!!  I hate being at work for 12-24 hour shifts and trapped in an ambulance with a male partner and having to explain why I need to make frequent "pit stops"...(I'm a Paramedic) And just waiting for the "Ah-ha!" moment when the realization dawns on him...And then knowing that he'll probably say something embarrassing behind my back to the other guys at the station...
Hmmm...Maybe I will try some of that passion flower suggestion...Just typing this has got my dander up...Gawd I hate being hormonal...Sigh...I'm going to go take a hot bath and read a smutty novel...Maybe that will help too...LOL ~MM
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Avatar universal
I definitely feel the same way, the 40's started o.k. for me and now at the later half they suck big time! The feeling of being in a fog and fatigue are the worst. Of course not finding any real relief or help from a doctor (been to several now) doesn't help either. If you want to have a pity party go for it and let it out is the best thing. I am trying supplements(d-3, b-complex, coq-10 and a little passion flower to get past some anxiety does help a little and remember to try and take time for your self you have more than earned it. Hang in there I too hope to get off this bus sooner than later. BB
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Avatar universal
I hear you sister!! Thanks for brightening my day... so nice to know I am NOT alone  or crazy ( well maybe a little).
  I will be 50 this year and I have been dealing with this for the past 4 years... ENOUGH!!! I to want off this bus, so if you figure out how we can get an express ride ticket please let me know.
All I have to offer is my undying gratitude forever and ever and ever !!!
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Avatar universal
LOL. Somewhere in past e-mails, a friend sent me "An Ode to Menopause"..(I AM going to have to find it!) Your post reminded me of the phrases in it like "True cause of global warming? -High concentrations of menopausal women with hot flashes"...and "Solution to the Gulf War? -Give angry menopausal women guns and let them loose in the area, and the war will be over within a week..."
(Its funnier in the poem...)
Yah, I'd be careful with those sharp scissors...Some poor little doggie might get more trimmed than his belly hair! (Yipes!)  :) ~MM
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Avatar universal
medicmommy i just got done posting under the title "unbalanced" I,m in a fog to..head feels like its someone elses..night sweats, hot flashes, tingling, aching.. Not fun at all is it. I,m not sure about this unbalanced foggy head feeling though.I can deal with the rest of the stuff but not that. I,m a Dog groomer by trade and being unblanced and foggy headed doesnt go along with sharp objects.I kinda get tired of running back and forth to the Doctors because there is never a good outcome. I dont think they know what to do to  about this feeling be honest.Is it just a feeling or is it real??
My brothers girlfriend is also going through Menopause and he told me "shall i leave the house and come back when the exorcism is over" lol
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Avatar universal
I hear you! I had to laugh though today...My poor husband is surrounded by hormonal females...Myself with the perimenopause issues, my 11 year old daughter with puberty (I was asked yesterday if I thought that she needed a training bra yet and "What was Viagra for? Oh boy...) and now our young cat has come "into season" and is yowling all over the house...LOL He says he's going to move to a fishing hut for the next ten years...
Maybe we have a head-start on this thing? Personally, I'd like to be over and done with it. 'C'mon 50s! :) ~MM
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1046985 tn?1305117048
I'm coming to, haven't enjoyed this whole naughty forty thing at all, and I'm 46. The scariest thing is they say "Life begins at 40", yippeeeeeee can't wait to see what the 50s are like. Hopefully the fun times start soon.
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