It sounds like you are suffering a lot. First of all, see a rheumatologist to see if they can help with your joint and muscle pain. Progesterone doesn't usually make symptoms worse but sometimes hormones that are like progesterone (called progestins example being Provera) can worsen symptoms, especially symptom of depression. Natural progesterone could be a better choice for you if you are not taking it already.
Other sleep options are Lunesta and Rozerum. For hot flashes, you can ask your doctor about gabapentin (dosages increased over time up to 900mg/day) for the hot flashes. For dry vagina, try Replens, an over the counter product from most drug stores. It contains no hormones and is used daily for about one week and then twice weekly. It might also be helpful to meet with a mental health professional to assist you in coping with your symptoms which are understandably stressful and unpleasant.
Machelle Seibel, MD