are these really things EVERY woman deals with?

[RayneeDay]

Hi. I am so tired of hearing from doctors that all my concerns are things that every woman deals with, every woman suffers, or that I am too young for that, or that theres nothing wrong. I have been basically begging my gyno for years to do hysterectomy, but they say theres nothing wrong, and most lately, not enough wrong to remove it. Since I have had my tubes tied, 13 years ago at age 29, my issues have increasingly become worse. It all started with my periods becoming irregular. I was always very regular at 27 day cycles, I could mark it on the calander and know exactly what day my period would start prior to my tubes getting tied. After, it would be a day or so late, or a day or so early, not really a big deal at first. What was the big deal is that my cramps and body aches became much worse. I hadn't had cramps that bad since I was a teenager and just starting my cycles. Also, I started having more and more issues with bladder control. Anyway, I told my gynos, they said "theres nothing wrong with your uterus" and "you're too young for that". I kept insisting over next few years, trying new doctors after I felt the ones I had seen were no longer even listening to me. Over that time, I had a some tell me that I had "some ovaian cysts, but they are small and its normal, they will go away on thier own". About 3-4 years ago or so, I started getting migraines along with my cycle, my moods became more intense, in particular, my anger, frustration and hopelessness. Also, as the years have gone by, my menstral symptoms continued to become more intense and my cycle more irregular. I found a Nurse Practicioner who agreed that I no longer needed my uterus after she found thickening of the lining, determined that I possibly have endometriosis and referred me to a surgeon who told me "its not thick enough to warrant any surgery, take birth control pills". I told her, I cannot take BC, it causes me to become extremely dizzy, plus I was well over 30 and a smoker at this time. She insisted I try a progesterone only BC. Still made me dizzy, so I quit taking them and quit seeing that practice. About 2 years ago, this all started affecting my work. I would call in sick for days around my cycle, because the pain was so bad, because I felt so horrid, or from the migraines, or combination of. Also, in past 5-7 years, I have been diagnosed with Hypothyroid and diabetes, type 2. So some of the symptoms I was experiencing were blamed on the thyroid or diabetes. I began having my regular doctor take over all of my health issues, my theory is that all of these things are connected to each other and affecting each other, so why not have one doctor treat it all at the same time? Well, no, not really a good plan. Primary care physician really can't fully treat all the issues, so it is probably best to see seperate specialists, I understand this now. OK, so I told my regular doctor about my "depression" which took me a while to figure out thats what it was. I always thought depression meant you wanted to commit suicide. I wanted to commit homocide. Other people irritated me so bad, and I was not liking how I felt 3 out of 4 weeks every month. She started me on anti-depressant, and when it wasnt strong enough to quite control my anger, anxiety and bursting into tears for no reason, she referred me to a psychiatrist. Both my psychiatrist and primary care agree now that I am over 40, some of my symptoms are perimenopause, and some of my other conditions are affected by it. So now, I am being treated for ADD, depression, anxiety, hypothyroid, diabetes, high blood pressure, cholesterol, migraines and i forget what else. I have a hard time falling asleep and don't want to wake up in the morning. My migraines have kept me home from work for up to a week at a time, and most recently I have not had a real period in 45 days. I had 1 day of spotting 31 days ago (dark brown and gross), and have been pretty much miserable since then. My body acts as though I am about to begin or I am having my cycle, but no blood. My lower/mid back is killing me, have really bad menstral cramps, migraine with neck pain, nausea (like when I was pregnant), tender breasts, extreme irritability, lack of concentration, ehausted, but can't fall asleep, hard to wake up in the morning, etc. Oh, I forgot to mention, my nearly constant "personal summer", I can't really call it hot flashes, because theres nothing flashy about it, it's just uncomfortably hot most of the time (rare occasions, usually when I start my period, i get chills, which I have today, but still no period). If this is all "what every woman goes thru" and "completely normal", how do you all put up with this?? My bosses aren't happy about my missed time, and I am not happy about the way I feel, even more, I cannot believe that there is no relief. Why don't my doctors seems to care?

[Totie]

As I have said before, NOT everyone has the same outcome and I don't feel anymore less of a woman either. I don't feel like I lost ANY part of myself, for the heart/soul are what matter to me and make me who I am ...

I have not had any issues whatsoever, not hormonal, moody, hot flashes, or irritability, my sex drive has my husband hiding:)

[Perak]

I am so sad and I feel for you my dear.  I hope you would overcome out of it.  IT IS EASY to say but very hard to go through this everyday. I hope that the Doctors could understand our pain.  We most of us..........DO NOT WANT Hysterectomy.  How could we explain this to our doctors?  When I first refused for a Hysterectomy this OBGYN said "WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO WITH IT?"  I said I need it,  I want to be healthy and HAPPY. DO YOU WANT TO HAVE CHILDREN? No I do not want to have children anymore. I am 54 but if I could save it I want to save it.  It is like a wound. Because we have wound we are not going to cut and throw out our portion with wound.
My husband has tons of questions for all my doctors,  He would ask  questions that some of the Doctors do not like to talk to him.  TOO BAD, if my husband got questions he needs answers. If they do not have answers he would say,  can you check into that for us please.  I am glad my husband do take good care of me and I am blessed to have him. He comes with my to all my medical appointments.
You take care my dear .
God bless.

[old_before_my_time]

Your husband is a gem and you were lucky to only need one "second" opinion. Hysterectomy is so prevalent here in the U.S. that quite a few opinions are usually needed to get one that does not involve hysterectomy. A study concluded that 76% of hysterectomies do not even meet ACOG criteria. And only 2% are done for a cancer diagnosis.

My gynecologist sent me to an oncologist for consultation. But my medical records show they were "in cahoots" in their deceptive tactics. If I had listened to my intuition, I would probably still be intact. And my husband is great but he really wasn't much help. I think I would have been more assertive if I had not had him come with me to either doctor.  

[Perak]

I am so sorry of what had happened to you my dear.  Once removed is removed for good.  CANNOT replace it.   I see you have named yourself  old-before-my-time.  This is what will happen if we take out our precious and much loved female organs.  We need them.  By taking out our female organs we do get lots of side effects. Honestly when this OBGYN told me everything got to go.  I felt that I am not going to be the same anymore.  I was so sad. I cried and cried until my husband said "we should go for a second opinion'.  
I love myself and I am praying that I can keep all these precious lovely organs in tact with me untill I DIE.
God Bless.

[old_before_my_time]

I am glad you avoided a hysterectomy. I wish I had run from my long-time gynecologist when he said I needed a hysterectomy. It has been 8 years of regret.

[Totie]

i know some of your symptoms may be related to your thyroid issue. I know when i was on too much thyroid medication i would get my cycles often (like 3 times in one month) or they would last 14 days or longer if i was under medicated on thyroid medication.

I had a hysterectomy over a yr ago (44 now), but i was tired of not knowing when or how long  my cycles would last. I had an ovary removed 3yrs ago because of a complex cyst. Finally my last ovary just quit working. They did a FSH and said my levels indicated it was no longer working, but then i started getting abnormal Pap smears (HPV pre cancerous cells), so my gyno finally said it was time for the hysterectomy. I do know that i was tired of the irregular cycles so the gyno finally felt it was time and would take of my abnormal Pap smears.

My husband had a vasectomy about 13 yrs ago when our only child was 8. I can say that i have not had any issues with having it. In fact for me it was the best thing i ever did....But not everyone has the same outcomes. I am however on HRT patch.  

[old_before_my_time]

I am sorry for all your suffering from post tubal ligation syndrome. Hysterectomy was the START not the END of problems for me. I hope you can find something that gives you relief from your symptoms without losing your vital uterus and/or ovaries. If you are set on hysterectomy, please make sure you understand the LIFE-LONG functions of the female organs before proceeding.

[RayneeDay]

I understand that for many women it is best to keep as much as they can inside them. For me, I don't feel this way. I believe my uterus has been the cause of the majority of my misery. I want it out, I believe the migraines will go away, I believe the constant pain will become at least bareable, I believe that I will be able to function properly more often, and I believe that my general health can improve, if I can have a hysterectomy.
I am glad that you found an alternative to getting a hysterectomy. I wish I could find a GYN that will try to help me. I have been through about 5-6 GYN in the past 10 years, and all have only wanted me to take BC, which doesn't help at all, and makes me feel ill. On top of that, taking BC now puts me into a much higher risk for other life threatening complications. So for now, my primary care, and my pychiatrist only treat each of my symptoms seperately, not treating the root. I feel so hopeless. I want an active life back. but instead, I am medicated for depression, medicated for anxiety, medicated for migraines, medicated for blood pressure, medicated for thyroid, medicated for diabetes, medicated for ADD, etc... I don't like having to take so much medication and still have the underlying problems. Most of the medication only masks some of the symptoms. I am only 42 years old, have missed approximately 20% of my work days so far this year, and spent quite a number of the 80% I am there being miserable and in pain. This just can't be normal for perimenopause. And I feel as though most doctors I have seen completely ignore me when I tell them about this. There is only so much my psychiatrist can do, but she is the one I feel is most concerned with helping me feel better.