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change of life

If there is someone who is going through the change of life or pre menopause I am seeking some advise.   I am 45 year old mother of 4 kids.  I have been experiencing different things happpening to my body as well as my emotional state of mine.  I can't figure  out whether I am going or coming.  I have mix emotionsl, some days I am down or very moody.  I have seen my primarycare doctor within the last 3 months trying to find some answers in how I can handle or  find some comfort and reasurance that I will get pass this transition in my life.  I sometimes wake up feeling sick to my stomach, feeling nerveous, moody and feeling afraid that there is something else wrong.  I am also experiencing panick attacks which comes on any time.  If someone who went through this or is feeling the same please advise what actually help you through this process.  I am desperate to find some answers.    THank you for taking the time in reading my note.
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Avatar universal
I could write a book about these past 18 months and going through late stage perimenopause.  I am now 53, and will be 54 in March.  I have done EXTENSIVE research on the subject to educate myself.  I have had several symptoms, the most disconcerting which is muscle/tendon/ligament pain.  Some women might confuse it with joint pain (which you can also get during this time). They are both treated differently so you really must tune into your body and figure out which one it is if you are experiencing something like this.  Now, as far as crying and anxiety attacks, yup, I can relate to those.  I go to a Naturopath for my issues, conventional medicine will throw you on HRT (Birth control, patches, etc.) and although you can have good results, it is something that you should really do your homework on because the long term effects can range from very uncomfortable to developing cancer because of the synthetic hormones.  The longer you are on them, the higher the risk.  I had my hormones tested via a saliva panel.  It tested for Estrogen, Progesterone (the ratio of the two to each other, which is crucial to know), Testosterone, DHEA and my Cortisol levels (throughout the day).  With this information you can really come up with a plan to address hormone imbalance and to see how cortisol is affecting the picture.  Cortisol has an inverse effect to estrogen. When estrogen is high, cortisol is low and vice versa. This can play into a lot of things, anxiety being one of them. Since hormones fluctuate and are more erratic throughout the day during this time, it will take time to get them into balance and it would be best to be under the care of someone while taking bioidentical or synthetic (if you so choose) hormones, to tweek the amount.  When I was having crying spells, was depressed and anxious, thought I was losing my mind, my Naturopath put me on Progesterone cream AND gave me a homeopathic remedy a few weeks after the cream, that I believe was the icing on the cake (that was very helpful).  All creams aren't created equal, so if you go that route, get a doctor that has done research on them and can get you a good one.  It took a few weeks, but my crying jags are gone.  I still have anxiety, which I've had for decades, so I take a very low dose of a pharmaceutical.  I'd rather not, but I haven't found the magic herbal remedy yet to help me conquer that.  I am going to investigate homeopathy for anxiety, it did help with the crying and I have used it in the past for other things for myself and my family with much success.  Since my anxiety is long standing, it will be a little more complicated to figure out which remedy would be best.  Also, another thing that happens around this time, that people are not aware of is adrenal issues.  If your adrenals are overtaxed, fatigued, burned out etc. from stress (be it emotional, physical, chemical) you can have a host of symptoms that can make this stage of life much worse.  I take adrenal herbs to help mine. This is where the cortisol levels being checked will give you an indication of how the adrenals are doing.  The adrenals are VERY important.  They are responsible, in addition to the ovaries, and thyroid (which should be checked as well) to supplying hormones throughout your body. Lastly, in addition to all the things above, I do gentle yoga, deep breathing, prayer, and meditation.  All of which are extremely helpful for anxiety. I will be going back to acupuncture soon, since that has helped with other things in the past.  But, everything takes money, so little by little.  Hope this was helpful.  
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Avatar universal
I am currently trying to be supportive of my 52 yr old wife
who is experiencing her change of life.  She has tremendous anxiety attacks and is always crying.  I dont knoiw how to help her and the doctors seem to be useless around here.  How can I help her !!! ?  I heard going back on birth control sometimes helps,   is this true ?
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Avatar universal
Hysterectomy threw me into a nightmare surgical menopause...not sure how I would go on without estrogen. I am nowhere near the person I was before the needless removal of my organs but at least I am no longer suicidal and most of the symptoms are much better.
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Avatar universal
I WENT THOUGH MENO QUIT A WHILE AGO IM 63 NOW. AND I THOUGHT IT WAS LIKE HAVING PMS ALL THE TIME. AND I STARED HAVING PANIC ATTACKS TO. WAS MOODY ONE MINUTE HAPPY THE NEXT THOUGHT I WAS GOIN MAD,, FELT SO MAY DIFFERENT FEELINGS BOUT DROVE ME CRAZY AND FAMILY TOO. BUT IM SO MUCH BETTER NOW , STILL HAVE HOT FLASHES AND NIGHT SWEAT BUT I CAN DEAL WITH THEM THO THE DRIVE HUBBY MAD. LOL BLANKET ON BLANKET OFF. BUT IF POSSIBLE DO NOT TAKE HRP PRODUCT UNLESS NATURAL CAN BE BAD FOR YOU TALK TO DR ABOUT THAT ,HOPE YOU ALL GET BETTER SOON AND IT WILL HAPPEN JUST HANG IN THERE, AND GLORY BE NO MORE PERIOD.
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Avatar universal
Keep the faith. My wife and I are dealing with the same thing!!! There is hope. One day we will all laugh about it. (IF we survive) lol
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Avatar universal
As a husband I can tell you that you are NOT crazy. My generally soft spoken wife is a terror to say the least. Mood swings are horrendous. She just started on Zoloft because the anxiety was FINALLY getting the best of her. Anyone had any experience with that? So far, no one has done a hormone check. What does one have to do to get the attention of these physicians? Dry skin, hair loss, no libido, no energy, mood swings, weight gain and distancing from others are what she is experiencing. When she sees a doctor and tells them this, they do nothing. It is hurtful to see her this way. It's if someone put a different personality in my loving wife. We are both at wits end. No wonder some guys ditch their wives... lol  This is one husband who is gonna weather the storm with her. Love is a commitment. Good or bad. Right now, I don't see HOW it could get any worse.
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Avatar universal
I am 47 and going through some difficult times. Since the beginning of the year, I have cussed out my coworker, tried to quit working twice. I cry all the time. The Lexapro made me sick and I dropped 10 lbs in less then two weeks. I have been on three different antidepressants. Wish me luck the doc has given me another one to try. All I want to to is sleep. I am going thru menopause. The blood work says my hormones are thru the roof and this is why I'm struggling emontionally. I am currently going to a family counselor and im getting tired of doing that. I also shake all the time. Both of my girls are in college and I have been married for 25 years. I am really glad I am not the only one going through this and it feels good to know I am not alone nor crazy. All I want is to be normal again. I guess we will have to take it one day, one step at a time.  
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1129774 tn?1279831762
Hi,

The hormone special.  Was great.  She explained everything so clearly.  She actually told me i was not on enough ERT bc I am only 41 and in surg. Menopause.  She made me feel comfortable with taking it and calmed my fears abt the risks.  The benefits out weigh the risks for me right now.  

I have noticed that a day before I am supposed to change my vivelle dot patch my symptoms return.  I am apparently burning through the estrogen quicker than I should.  I don't know if it is bc I had it on my hip.  I was told to put it anywhere where the underwear goes.  I have done some research online and read it may absorb 17-25% faster if it is NOT on the lower stomach.  So I moved it and giving it one last shot before i switch to the daily gel.  I def. Feel better some days than others, but I can't say this has effected me emotionally.  I have more of the physical symp.  Muscle aches, joint pain. A little anxiety.  I am still trying to recover from surgery and I am 5 weeks post op.  I thought my pain would be 100% gone by now.   It is frustrating since i am an athlete and have not worked out for months.  Ugh!  Tell me your story and if you on replacement...etc, al.  This is the most difficult thing I have gone through, but it is sure nice to know that it is real and others are experiencing it too.  I would not wish this on a worst enemy, but it is comforting to know we are not crazy.  I had no idea how big of an impact hormones play on our bodies.  Geez!  
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Avatar universal
Rasta,
How did your visit go with the hormones specialist??

Everyone else-
Is it just me  but do you feel pretty good some days, and think I can do this!!!

And then the next day the anxiety, mood swings, crying, insomnia, ect. ect. ect hit and you feel like Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde??? Bipolar emerging at age 50???

I sometimes worry I am going crazy... and think my family does too!!
Helpful - 0
1129774 tn?1279831762
The only thing I remember about the lexapro was the sexual side effects and I felt a little numb emotionally.  It has been six years since I was on it.  It might not be the drug for you.  I have been prescribed pristec, which is effexor.  I have not started it yet for fear of the side effects.  I am hoping the ERT will be enough.  My dr. said give the ERT a month and then recheck thryoid or anxiety. How do you like the gel?  It has been given to me as a sample bc I am not sure the patch is working.  I mentioned this in my email to you.  
Helpful - 0
1046985 tn?1305117048
What effects did you get from the Lexapro, I think i'm putting on weight like crazy. I don't want to weigh myself, cause I'm sure that will depress me more, and sitting around unmotivated can't be helping, but its so hot outside, and I just can't snap out of it.
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1046985 tn?1305117048
Hey Girl, I totally sympathize with you. I to never fully realized the effects hormones have on us, until I obviously had none. I had my uterus removed in 2001 which was really more a surgical thing to get over, but this BSO (having ovaries removed) on 20/11/09 (8 weeks ago) is a whole new ball game. One that I definately don't want to play either.
I was having tons of pain relief for the first two weeks, so I didn't notice any menopausal symptoms, and I already had myself convinced It wasn't going to happen anyway, then BAM. I guess my main symptoms were the EXTREME FATIGUE to start with, which I was putting down to the surgery. I was sleeping 10-12 hrs for weeks, which started getting me down, and down, and down then the hot flashes started. I think it was around week 3 that I started on the lexapro, as I couldn't stop crying and the usual things that go with depression. It is only this week, week 8, that I feel like there is some hope that I might feel better, after new doctor upped my lexapro to 20mg and got m on HRT, Oestadiol 1mg gel. Today I also started seeing a psychologist to help me through, but after one session, am not sure if this is the way to go just yet, but will give anything a go.
I still am having heaps of problems getting to sleep, then I can't wake up then the whole @%^$$ cycle starts again. I am 46, with an 11yr old, and my husband is on annual leave.
I have been having problems with dry eyes, which I never associated with this, and have started having headaches again this week, so don't know if thats the lexapro or HRT. I was booked in to have appointment with Bio dr mid week, but couldn't wait due to almost breaking down, and have now decided to give my new Drs treatment a good go, otherwise its all to confusing.
Hang in there, I couldn't even imgine having 4 kids to look after at the moment, so you're doing heaps better than me. Stay in touch, we can do this. Take care.
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1129774 tn?1279831762
Hi,

Wanna go through this together?  I am 3 weeks post op on having my ovaries removed and in surgical menopause too.  When was your surgery and what are you experiencing?  I am 41 and hoping I did not make a bad choice to go through with the surgery.  I feel all my symptoms have got to be related to menopause, but it still seems so foreign to me that my body can react so severely to a lack of estrogen.  About 4 months ago I went off birth control and had a lot of the same symptoms I am having now.  It took my body about 2 1/2 month to get back into balance before I started feeling better.  I then had my ovaries removed and I am back to square one.  Just to let you know my symptoms and see if you can relate.  I have shortness of breath, chest tightness, muscle aches ( like I am running a fever), dry eyes, FATIGUE, times of warmth (not really a hot flash),  some joint pain (knees).  

I can say tho., I don't feel it has effected my mood other than being tired and having a hard time keeping up with my kids.  My dr. 4 months ago prescribed me pristec, which I have not been taking, and said that it might be anxiety related.  It just seems too ironic that after a reduction of estrogen 2x I have similar symptoms.

I reduce my vivelle patch to .05 two days ago and I am now having these symptoms again.  I am not sure how long to give my body a chance to adjust before I go back up.  My goal is to get off them entirely and try Bio iden. or natural stuff, but I am apparently so sensitive to hormone changes.  It triggers my thyroid problem too, which just complicates everything.

Are you on lexapro for depression, anxiety?  Is it helping.  I have used that drug in the past and it had sign. side effects for me.  How is it going?  What HRT are you using?  I am seeing a menopause specialist next week, who is supposed to be the best, I would be happy to pass on any insight.  It helps to talk to others who are going through the same thing.  Although, no one has the same symp.  it is nice to know we are not crazy.  I still having a hard time grasping the effect hormones play in our bodies.  UGH!  
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1046985 tn?1305117048
I am in surgically induced menopause, and it is BRUTAL. Luckily I discovered the most caring Dr I've ever met this week, who is so concerned about how I'm feeling, she is seeing me every 3-4days. I have started on HRT this week, which is already helping the hot flashes, and she has upped my lexapro (started 4 weeks ago) to 20mg a day. She also has just given me 3 more weeks off work, that will make 11 weeks since surgery. This was all so unexpected for me, and am still trying to get my head around what happened to "ME", and if I'll ever be the person I was. I am only 46 and feel so distant from my friends, as none of them have been through anything like this, or had any surgery. Mmmmmmmmmmm, its so surreal.
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1129774 tn?1279831762
That is so funny! I actually ordered Dr. Lee's book on Amazon with the SS book.  I am awaiting my order.  I never realized how much hormones play into our bodies until 4 months ago.  I have been so healthy and then wham,  I feel miserable.  I, too, and looking for other help besides HRT.  I am only on them bc of the drastic change I knew my body was going to take after my surgery.  I hope the menopause spec. can get this all figured out along with my endo.  My thyroid is also bouncing around.  Fun stuff...LOL!  
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Avatar universal
Rasta,

Thanks for reinforcing the we are not crazy... some days I have my doubts!!
The book  by Somers is great! I got it from the library and loved it. Another good  one is Dr. Lee, he is good with hormones and how they impact your body/ life!!

Vonda,
Look up antiaging drs or bioidentical hormone drs in your area. Or call the local compounding pharmacy ( not a regular pharmacy) and ask them who they think is really good at balancing hormones with bioidenticals.
Good luck ladies!!!
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1129774 tn?1279831762
Hi,

You are NOT CRAZY!  This stuff happens to us as women.  It just *****.  I just ordered the suzanne somers book abt hormones.  I have been told she has done the most research on it.  I am currently on HRT after being thrown into surg. menopause 3 weeks ago.  I decreased my dose yesterday and woke up in the middle of the night with severe body aches, chills, then  hot.  It is just lovely.  I am constantly tired and have been having shortness of breath for 4 months.  Let me say this all started 3 days after I went off birth control and I started to feel better about three months after I stopped.  Then I had my surgery reducing my estrogen again and wham all the sym. started again.  I was told be my dr. part is anxiety.  I was prescribed pristec, which is the new effexor.  I have not started taking it.  My thyroid is out of whack too.  I have not felt well for months.  Hormones have such a huge impact on us.  I am going to a menopause special.  who I heard is amazing next week.  Maybe a switch in meds is appropriate?  I just wanted you to know that you are not alone.  I am not sure the book is any good, but I heard she has done so much research...may be worth a look.  Feel better!
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Avatar universal
I have been taking lexapro 5mg for a few days now. My anxiety has been so bad today and yesterday I have felt like I'm dying. Almost! On top of all this, my son and his wife have separated and he and my three small grandchildren have moved back in with us. Seems like all I do is cry. When I went to a new Gyn a couple of weeks ago, she didn't even do any bloodwork to check my hormones-- all she told me was she didn't think my anxiety was related to menopause! Maybe not all of it, but all I know is that until a little over a month ago I felt like a different person. I was wondering if I should go to a different Gyn. and can anyone tell me how you find out about bioidentical hormones. Is this something that a Gyn could help me with. I live in a small town in southwest VA and we do not have very many choices when it comes to healtcare. I feel so low today. I'm just a nervous wreck. I was wondering if maybe the Lexapro was causing it but I can only take 5mg because higher doses make me feel so awful. Any info would be helpful. It helps me to know that I am Not alone and Not crazy--but I sometimes wonder if my GP Physician thinks I am.
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Avatar universal
Hi Ladies,
I am/the same issues you all are. I am 49, perimenopausal... and whewwww...never had any health issues til now. I can not wait to get thru menopause and hopefully get back to a normal emotional and physical lifestyle.
I have/had insomnia,, anxiety, severe heart palps ( diagnosed with PSVT), bad fatigue, mood swings, brain fog... the list goes on and on.
   Here is what has helped me.... got my hormones checked. I am on bioidentical progesterone ( was estrogen dominant)- helped sleep and anxiety greatly. I  had heavy, non stop cycles for past year ( just had endometrial ablation) which  really helped so far. I had  my thyroid  checked( was borderline hypothyroid.)- on meds
Lot of rest, when possible ,destressing,  simplifying my life ,  It is  slowly.getting better....I use natural products if possible.
  To all ladies who are suffering... you are NOT alone... and you are NOT crazy...this is a tough time and we WILL get thru this together.
Any one else with  good advice please post to help us all!! Thank and God bless you all.
  
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Avatar universal
like yourself i have been looking for answers to my problems for about 18mths. I have terrible palpitations almost every day, hot flashes, panic and anxiety attacks and a period every 18 days (i used to have 2 a year). I have had tests done and seen 8 different g.p's and the last one i saw has reffered to a gynae who i am seeing tomorrow.  when in hosp after a frightening bout of palps i was told by a nurse to read as much as  i can about perimenopause, i have, and thats how i found this site. I know this has helped me, i tell my self that these problems will go and lots of women get through it and so can i. It helps me by taking the frightening thoughts away that starts the panic attacks. If panic starts, switch on ur computer and read.
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Avatar universal
I understand what you are going through especially with the hot flashes.  That is how it started especially during the evening hours.  I will wake up feeling something hot running through my body which cause me not to sleep.  I contacted my OB GYN Doctor and was seen at the office.  She ran some blood work, pelvic exam because I was my period was inrregular and bloody 2 a month which was not normal.  Thank God my examine was good.  My Doctor did menton that my body was going through Pre Menopause.  Her recomendation was to take Birth control so it will put me back on track.  After taking the birth control pills my hot flashes went away.   If you need any more advise please reply back maybe we can help each other go through this transition together.

Liz515
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Avatar universal
So far I am also looking for answers to these questions. Until about a month ago, I had only had hot flashes, then I started to have inner shaking and anxiety attacks. These sent me to the ER twice. I hardly ever sleep without taking ativan-which doesn't help sometimes. I know this probably doesn't make you feel better but I have found a lot of women on this forum who are going through these symptoms and can have better advice than me. It has helped me to find other women with these symptoms to talk to so I know I'm not going crazy. Hugs Vonda
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