20year old virgin seeking help

[GODSbrother]

I am 20 years old. i have never been with a woman and i have done very little in the sexual department. i don't really know much about it and until recently i have not cared. i was wondering if anyone could give me advice about this. i don't know what to do.................any help would be great......

[Silly_but_Cute]

If your not ready then don't be ready for anyone else. I can see by your name you have strong beliefs. Sex is over rated it just makes things crazy. Sex and love makes people crazy. Please go to help.com. I'm a member on there and It helps alot. They have all kinds of help,sex,safe sex,love,dating advice,health,everything you can think of even home improvment. I'm not sure what you are asking, are you asking to learn how to have sex or are you asking should you have sex??? I think sex is just a thing you will learn by reading, trying,and asking. So ask what you want to know about it on here and look some stuff up ok. If you go on there to help.com I'm the silly girl with the big smile that is in love and dating, relationships. Ask away on there ok. Kali-cat aka Miss????????23

[knucks]

I disagree, somewhat.

Sex is not crazy, it is natural. If you are in a deep relationship with someone, it is one the best things to do, especially if you cannot verbally tell the significant other how you feel. I do believe sex is over-rated. Everything leading up to sex could be better than sex itself, infact, i enjoy foreplay a lot more than sex by itself.

You're best bet is to just be yourself and find someone that is right for you, everything else will fall in place.

[Zoni]

I would also add that you shouldn't feel pressure at all for not having done any of that activity yet. There is no time for it, the right time will come and you will experience it. No rush as it is a much bigger deal in people's minds than it is an act. Most of us are even a bit disapointed after doing it, on the other hand when you make love you are much more satisfied and people don't talk about it then as much. See what i mean? another thing, not feeling the need of doing it is just as normal in fact, people are just coming clear on this issue nowadays and you would be surprised by the number of people who don't like doing it and or, who never done it and will never do it.

So relax, nothing is wrong with you and my advice is this: never do anything you don't feel like doing in life, even if people wonder why you dont!

[ticked]

Wait till you are married.  That is, if you are a christian, You will regret it.

[dlerag]

I would have to say that it will happen when you allow it. As for losing your virginity you might say 'is that it'. When you do have sex with a women, find out her pleasure areas if you don't know. If you are doing something wrong, listen to her. Many women mature faster than guys in knowing their pleasure areas because a guy can get an erection if the wind blows which is not so for a women.

Make sure you know your body too. From your head to your toes. Please don't go by what you see in porn shows. Some of the guys use medication and the women use lots of lubrication because they are don't the act for money and not a relationship.

Be aware of the consequences of disease out there. There are many. Use a condom when you are not sure.......

[DuchcessDevinia]

In my opinion the older the berry the sweeter the juice.  Just as any growth process of the body sexual desire changes as we age.  I personally feel that even beyond puberty the body continually evolves sexually.  A good relationship with a partner definitely halps you to appreciate this growth process.  Some people have lower sexual drives than others or maybe they can find more things to do with their time to deter their attention away from it for the time being.  There are more things in life that would like attending to, which is always important.  Too much of anythign can be bad including thinking about things too much.  Sex can be a distraction for some and for some many other things.  Some poeple, if they love each other can use it as motivation to do other things in life. In this case love is not based on sex only so they can stand the heavy winds and trials of a relationship without just focusing on sex.  If you base a relationship on sexual performance only then thats all youll want, dont get me wrong in a good healthy relationship this may be a chance to grow if you choose to.  I mean sex is to be used for both people's personal bond and development.  Also I think whichever note you start off in a relationship  it will end there too.  I mean if ytou start out all about sexual development then don't expect anything else to entertain your mind, thats if both people decide to stay together.  Id say for your age you should learn as much as possible about getting along with different types of people or atleast mingling with them so when you get older you won't waste so much energy and time figuring out what you want.  And your needs and wants may change over time so you may choose to stay flexible.  So explore who you are and dont change for anyone change because you see it to be best.